A Christmas Note From Mom

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EVERYONE DESERVES A GOOD LAUGH!!

> A Christmas Note From Mom

> --------------------------

>

> Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married:

>

> Merry Christmas to you and please don't worry. I'm just fine

> considering that I can't breathe or eat. The important thing

> is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from

> your ailing mother.

>

> I've sent along my last twenty dollars in this card, which I

> hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother

> never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures,

> poor babies.

>

> Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them

> in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me,

> we buried Aunt Gus last week. I know she died years ago, but I got

> to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and

> had the services all over again. I would have invited you but I know

> that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she's

> never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has

> she?

>

> Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane

> beating off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm

> also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am

> grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now

> don't you even think about sending any more money because I know

> you need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year.

> Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards to

> whatever-her-name-is, the one with the black roots and too much

> makeup who stole you screaming from me.

>

> Merry Christmas.

>

> Love, Mom

>

º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø

>

> The Famous Joke of the Day One Liner!

>

> Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

>

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