Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 Cheryl, This group tries to be upbeat, but we have all posted about being depressed especially when things aren't going as smoothly as we had expected or would like. Part of helping with depression is the get togethers this gives us a chance to talk about what we have all been through and for people who are pre-op to ask questions of the post-ops. Feel free to post how you are feeling here. We are here to help you at any time. Believe me, I have posted a few times about being depressed, that's the great thing about this group, they help you overcome it because guaranteed someone on this list has felt the way you do at some point along the journey. Diane ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 Cheryl, This list is for ANYTHING anyone wants to talk about. For those who have questions about surgery, both, pre-op and post-op, this is the place. I think for most of us right now, not many have as many questions as in the beginning, and when/if we do, we ask. This is what this list is about, both discussions, as well as gatherings, fun, etc... I'm sorry to hear you're depressed about some things, but without you posting them, we cannot tell you our suggestions. Feel free to ask away, we're all here to help in any possible way we can. Dawn (aka: Blondie) discussions I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 discussion groups. This group gets loads of messages everyday but very few of them have anything to do with the surgury or supporting people oe asking/answering questions? I am seriously depressed right now about things yet how can one post such painfull stuff when most of the messages around here are about get togethers or trips or other things? -- ----------------------------------------------------------- cherylb@... ----------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Get your money connected @ OnMoney.com - the first Web site that lets you see and manage all of your finances all in one place. http://click./1/3012/7/_/675032/_/955469956/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 I mirror Dawn's sentiments. This is a place for anything. You should feel free to discuss anything you want. I think it is very supportive in that it provides a welcoming, happy place for post-ops as well as pre-ops. It's a place for friendship in many ways. The get-togethers are very important so you can be among people who have gone before and are ready willing and able to help in lots of ways. You can talk to someone who really understands. I'm sure most, if not all, the post-ops can tell you of their scary, depressed times before and after and, by the very nature of being on this list, will gladly help you. So please, voice your feelings, vent as much as you want. If you don't ask, we can't help. I'm glad you sent that e-mail about the topics because at least now, we know you're hurting and we can help. (Sorry, don't mean to sound like the official speaking for the group). Take care and write again !! Kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 Hey Norm! Long time no see! You're right, we've all suffered some form of depression at one time or another, whether clinically diagnosed, or the bummed out on your own stage. Socializing is a great thing for all of us, whether, happy, sad, stressed, or just having a great day! It helps, and I find this list to be GREAT support for those up's and down's! Also, from the looks of the most previous post's, I think it's a proven factor that we've all been feeling pretty good with a few exceptions, maybe this is why?!?!?!? Dawn Re: discussions part of getting rid of depression is socializing. We all have been depressed to some degree of another and chatting with on-line friends helps. If you have a problem maybe we can help. I find it nice that this group is not strict about topics. I was away for awhile and when I re signed up to the main OSSG it was the same old questions and complaints I read last year. Here in OSSG-New England I think friendship is the important ingredient. We all have one thing in common and it brings us together. SO if you have any questions, ask! Any fears or worries tell!! We all are here to help one another. with care NoRm! discussions > I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 discussion > groups. This group gets loads of messages everyday but very few of them > have anything to do with the surgury or supporting people oe > asking/answering questions? > > I am seriously depressed right now about things yet how can one post such > painfull stuff when most of the messages around here are about get > togethers or trips or other things? > > -- > ----------------------------------------------------------- > cherylb@... > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Get your money connected @ OnMoney.com - the first Web site that lets > you see and manage all of your finances all in one place. > http://click./1/3012/7/_/675032/_/955469956/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 part of getting rid of depression is socializing. We all have been depressed to some degree of another and chatting with on-line friends helps. If you have a problem maybe we can help. I find it nice that this group is not strict about topics. I was away for awhile and when I re signed up to the main OSSG it was the same old questions and complaints I read last year. Here in OSSG-New England I think friendship is the important ingredient. We all have one thing in common and it brings us together. SO if you have any questions, ask! Any fears or worries tell!! We all are here to help one another. with care NoRm! discussions > I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 discussion > groups. This group gets loads of messages everyday but very few of them > have anything to do with the surgury or supporting people oe > asking/answering questions? > > I am seriously depressed right now about things yet how can one post such > painfull stuff when most of the messages around here are about get > togethers or trips or other things? > > -- > ----------------------------------------------------------- > cherylb@... > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Get your money connected @ OnMoney.com - the first Web site that lets > you see and manage all of your finances all in one place. > http://click./1/3012/7/_/675032/_/955469956/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 Hi babe how you feeling today? My home scale when I am in the buff says 305 dressed at the doctors 312 Oh well. New pics will be up sometime this week. Luv! www.homestead.com\skinny_soon 4/29/99 421 --- 4/11/00 308 NoRm! discussions > > > > I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 discussion > > groups. This group gets loads of messages everyday but very few of them > > have anything to do with the surgury or supporting people oe > > asking/answering questions? > > > > I am seriously depressed right now about things yet how can one post such > > painfull stuff when most of the messages around here are about get > > togethers or trips or other things? > > > > -- > > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > cherylb@... > > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Get your money connected @ OnMoney.com - the first Web site that lets > > you see and manage all of your finances all in one place. > > http://click./1/3012/7/_/675032/_/955469956/ > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 Hay I guess I am a silver tounged devil :-) I was just letting my feelings out www.homestead.com\skinny_soon 4/29/99 421 --- 4/11/00 308 NoRm! discussions > > > > I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 > discussion > > groups. This group gets loads of messages everyday but very few of > them > > have anything to do with the surgury or supporting people oe > > asking/answering questions? > > > > I am seriously depressed right now about things yet how can one > post such > > painfull stuff when most of the messages around here are about get > > togethers or trips or other things? > > > > -- > > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > cherylb@... > > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Get your money connected @ OnMoney.com - the first Web site that > lets > > you see and manage all of your finances all in one place. > > http://click./1/3012/7/_/675032/_/955469956/ > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 Cheryl One of the main focuses of this list is to get to know each other better. As a result we've started getting together and expanding our friendships as time goes on ... so one natural result was socialization in the form of get togethers. We've met in restaurants and now we're expanding into other areas of activities to promote healthy living, exercise, and better health ... and heck having a little fun along the way We've all had our down moments and hopefully our up moments .. and we try to share it all .. One liners and that should be kept to a minimum but sometimes we forget .. and send it to the entire group. So another gentle reminder for those of you that can .. if it benefits just one person please try to send it to them privately .. I don't try to censor the list too much and I don't really need to .. those that stay seem to like the open format and if it ain't broke why try to fix it? However I " m concerned when you mention you are depressed yet you do not say about what .. are you a preop? post op? What is the problem? Im' sorry to hear you are depressed and hope there is something that can be done to help. As Dawn said if you lurk and dont' talk to us we cannot guess as to what your situation is .. and we'd like to hear what is going on perhaps someone can offer some insight or advice. All the best Lyssa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 NoRm, That was put very well. Pam On Tue, 11 Apr 2000 13:31:09 -0500 " NoRm " writes: > part of getting rid of depression is socializing. We all have been > depressed > to some degree of another and chatting with on-line friends helps. > If you > have a problem maybe we can help. I find it nice that this group is > not > strict about topics. I was away for awhile and when I re signed up > to the > main OSSG it was the same old questions and complaints I read last > year. > Here in OSSG-New England I think friendship is the important > ingredient. We > all have one thing in common and it brings us together. > > SO if you have any questions, ask! Any fears or worries tell!! We > all are > here to help one another. > > with care NoRm! > > > discussions > > > > I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 > discussion > > groups. This group gets loads of messages everyday but very few of > them > > have anything to do with the surgury or supporting people oe > > asking/answering questions? > > > > I am seriously depressed right now about things yet how can one > post such > > painfull stuff when most of the messages around here are about get > > togethers or trips or other things? > > > > -- > > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > cherylb@... > > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Get your money connected @ OnMoney.com - the first Web site that > lets > > you see and manage all of your finances all in one place. > > http://click./1/3012/7/_/675032/_/955469956/ > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 > I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 discussion groups. Cheryl, I tend to keep to myself and stay in the lurk mode. I think I was feeling similiar to what you expressed, can we talk about something I need to hear, etc. I realized I needed to take a chance and participate. This is not easy for me. I don't have friends, I have acquaintences. I have always been a loner...who needed anyone or anything when I had my old friend food...nobody can hurt me if I don't give them information about me they can use later....etc. Food doesn't judge or yell at me and is really good at numbing and protecting me (with fat). I am envious of the friendship I feel on this site and others and know that in order for me to not feel like an outsider I have to take a risk and participate. With my surgery 1 week away I have to go outside of my comfort zone. It only took Alice A. 2 times of asking if I wanted her to stop by when I was in the hospital next week before I said yes! Hope this helps...Alice D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 Alice D .. don't be envious hon because you're a part of the group!!! lurker or not Just keep chatting away so we can get to know & love you all the more If you or any one else needs to hear something directly relating to whats on your mind let us KNOW .. so we can chat your butt off about it. Are you all set for surgery? Do you have your post op food lists, your supplies, etc, etc .. are you psyched .. do you know what the plan of action is that day of surgery? Don't forget to take your pillow with you .. nothing like sleeping on your own pillow. You're dead on with the food=comfort .. its our biggest friend and worst enemy .. and we use this time to try and figure out what real hunger is and how food should just become fuel .. and we need to detach from the emotions we have associated with it .. or at least let go some .. I know for me when my dh is away on business and evenings roll around and the kids are in bed I just want to graze .. I'm not hungry but I guess I'm trying to fill an emotion .. loneliness, boredom? Not sure which but I try to keep busy .. its all a learning process and I'm glad there are others here that can relate. I'm glad you're here too! Hugs Lyssa Re: discussions > I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 discussion groups. Cheryl, I tend to keep to myself and stay in the lurk mode. I think I was feeling similiar to what you expressed, can we talk about something I need to hear, etc. I realized I needed to take a chance and participate. This is not easy for me. I don't have friends, I have acquaintences. I have always been a loner...who needed anyone or anything when I had my old friend food...nobody can hurt me if I don't give them information about me they can use later....etc. Food doesn't judge or yell at me and is really good at numbing and protecting me (with fat). I am envious of the friendship I feel on this site and others and know that in order for me to not feel like an outsider I have to take a risk and participate. With my surgery 1 week away I have to go outside of my comfort zone. It only took Alice A. 2 times of asking if I wanted her to stop by when I was in the hospital next week before I said yes! Hope this helps...Alice D. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Get paid for the stuff you know! Get answers for the stuff you don’t. And get $10 to spend on the site! http://click./1/2200/7/_/675032/_/955502508/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 Alice (D)...thanks for sharing. We are all your friends in here, and can relate to most obesity related questions, problems, encounters. Feel free to share ANYTHING you want! Dawn Re: discussions > I was wondering if anyone had made a suggestion of having 2 discussion groups. Cheryl, I tend to keep to myself and stay in the lurk mode. I think I was feeling similiar to what you expressed, can we talk about something I need to hear, etc. I realized I needed to take a chance and participate. This is not easy for me. I don't have friends, I have acquaintences. I have always been a loner...who needed anyone or anything when I had my old friend food...nobody can hurt me if I don't give them information about me they can use later....etc. Food doesn't judge or yell at me and is really good at numbing and protecting me (with fat). I am envious of the friendship I feel on this site and others and know that in order for me to not feel like an outsider I have to take a risk and participate. With my surgery 1 week away I have to go outside of my comfort zone. It only took Alice A. 2 times of asking if I wanted her to stop by when I was in the hospital next week before I said yes! Hope this helps...Alice D. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Get paid for the stuff you know! Get answers for the stuff you don’t. And get $10 to spend on the site! http://click./1/2200/7/_/675032/_/955502508/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2000 Report Share Posted April 11, 2000 In <8d0j38+7umheGroups>, on 04/12/00 at 12:00 AM, " Alice " said: >I am envious of the friendship I feel on this site and others and know >that in order for me to not feel like an outsider I have to take a risk >and participate. Well I am glad to see someone understands how I feel. I think it is hard to jump in and share some painfull and hard to talk about issues though with all this other talk going on. Feel like I am intruding on a party with a bunch of down stuff. I hope my apt with the nutritionist the other day. Ever since than I have been more depressed than usual. There are many reasons for this but I think the biggest one is that I am fearfull now I will not be able to have the surgyury or if I do that it will be a failure. I do not think I will be able to have it cause the receptionist at the Dr's office gave ne the impression that there is no way I would get to surgury this summer. Summer is the only time I have people here who can help. But than I got to thinking about this. That is silly.. I have nooone to help. Oh sure the kids will be home but do you really think they will help.. Well you do not know my kids but they will not. This is bringing back memories of when I had my first cornia transplant. I went to the hospital not knowing if I was comming home that day or staying overnight. I was suppose to call my husband and let him know. Well when they decided they called him and it took 2 hrs to reach him (he ignore there pages) and than when he did finally answer and he came and got me him and the kids were all mad at me for " ruining their fun " .. I dunno obviously they had something planned that now that I was home they could not do. I was called every name in the book and felt horrible. Not to mention how much pain I was in. I have since divorced that man and now am married to someone else who " used " to be sweet. But he is already sick and tired of all my aches and pains and he says he will supportive of my choice to do this surgury that apparently means only if I am nice and sweet and not ever in a bad mood and do not hold him respsonsible for his bad actions. He is not speaking to me right now cause he threw away some important papers of mine that were in his nightstand without asking me and I yelled at him. I was upset. He did not apologize for thorwing them away. I had to go dig in the trash to get them out. I of course was very upset and of course ran directly to the cupboard and ate about 10 fig newtons and a small dish of ice cream. I told him lhe other day ofter my apt that I was very upset about how much I weight and how much pain I was in and how I need his help and support. I do not call this help and support. I realllllly wish they had not taken my phen/fen away. Except for the 1.5 years I was on phen/fen I have always wished I was not on this earth. I have never understood why god put me here if he is going to make me have such a miserable life. sigh -- ----------------------------------------------------------- cherylb@... ----------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Cheryl, I can really feel for you. My husband is about the same as yours. He wants me to lose the weight and says that he supportive but actions speak louder than words. We live 3 hrs away from the hosiptal I will be having sugery on and he has only taking me down once. I don't have a drivers license since I have been big all my life. I am only 4'10 " and in oreder for me to reach the pedal I have to be pull the seat up and my weight prevents me from doing that. I thank god for my mother. She has been with me on this every step of the way. Do you have any one else that you could get supprt from? Such as parents, friends or siblings. I find that the most supportive people for me haven't been the people I expected. The ones that have been on me all my life to lose the weight ar saying things like " Why have sugery can't you just do it on your own? " of " If you can't stop yourself from eating now, I don't think that you will stick to this " . I don't justify my decision to anyone. I just tell them this is what I am doing and thats that. Lea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 ----- Original Message ----- One thing I have found since I've lost weight is that I am a lot more assertive with people about my needs. It is probably not right, but I guess I had to feel good about my self, or worthy or something, in order to insist that others not walk all over me. I DO insist on that now, and I just couldn't before. You may find that in time, that happens to you also. Please keep posting....many of us have been where you are, both physically and emotionally. If you are able, there is a support meeting Thursday night in Newton that you are welcome to attend. You'll meet a lot of us, meet some doctors that do the surgery (Thayer and Reines), and learn a lot. Please come if you can. Hugs from Plymouth, MA kim Kim knows of what she speaks!!!! Once we like ourselves again and become assertive it takes the people around us awhile to figure out that we are not going to take it anymore. There are a lot of people on this list who understand this and are going thru the same thing. Most of my family and I are not getting along right now because "they" are having a hard time adapting to the fact that I am not going to be walked over anymore!!!! I suppose these are the trials and tribulations that we have to go thru during our rebirth. To finally have the real person ( not the timid, no self esteem) one shine thru. And I do mean "shine thru". If you ever come to a get together and see some of the people who are close to a year out, you wont believe the difference in our personalities from a year ago. Much more extroverted. We like ourselves, we really really like ourselves. ( Sally field impersonation for those of you not old enough to remember). And you will find there are many of us on this list who have come a long way from taking our vitamin P everyday (prozac, paxil) to being very up people. Please keep sharing, there are many very understanding people on this list. We have all been in the same shoes, ( except dawn, we cant walk in her 6 inch spiked heels) Matter of fact we really were all in the same shoes last week at bowling. Thanks again for putting that together it was a blast. And unfortunately no one won anything at bingo that night. Jo ps A few months ago on this list we had a lot of discussion of wether or not we were just becoming assertive or the real "bitches " we are. It is just good old fashioned self esteem. But some people enjoy being a bitch ha ha Just ask Dawn or Carla. Hee Hee see, being on this list we can kid with each other that way. After you get to know us, you will too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Cheryl Welcome to this list, and I am glad you got brave and posted today! That way we can get to know you. First of all.....there ARE definitely doctors in the Boston area that could book your surgery this summer. There are others who have a very long waiting list. If you need names and phone numbers, just ask, ok? Most of us have busy lives, and have to plan this major surgery around our busy schedules also. It would be very nice if you could get the support you need after surgery. Who would be coming to help you? One thing I have found since I've lost weight is that I am a lot more assertive with people about my needs. It is probably not right, but I guess I had to feel good about my self, or worthy or something, in order to insist that others not walk all over me. I DO insist on that now, and I just couldn't before. You may find that in time, that happens to you also. Please keep posting....many of us have been where you are, both physically and emotionally. If you are able, there is a support meeting Thursday night in Newton that you are welcome to attend. You'll meet a lot of us, meet some doctors that do the surgery (Thayer and Reines), and learn a lot. Please come if you can. Hugs from Plymouth, MA kim cherylb@... wrote: In <8d0j38+7umheGroups>, on 04/12/00 at 12:00 AM, "Alice " said: >I am envious of the friendship I feel on this site and others and know >that in order for me to not feel like an outsider I have to take a risk >and participate. Well I am glad to see someone understands how I feel. I think it is hard to jump in and share some painfull and hard to talk about issues though with all this other talk going on. Feel like I am intruding on a party with a bunch of down stuff. I hope my apt with the nutritionist the other day. Ever since than I have been more depressed than usual. There are many reasons for this but I think the biggest one is that I am fearfull now I will not be able to have the surgyury or if I do that it will be a failure. I do not think I will be able to have it cause the receptionist at the Dr's office gave ne the impression that there is no way I would get to surgury this summer. Summer is the only time I have people here who can help. But than I got to thinking about this. That is silly.. I have nooone to help. Oh sure the kids will be home but do you really think they will help.. Well you do not know my kids but they will not. This is bringing back memories of when I had my first cornia transplant. I went to the hospital not knowing if I was comming home that day or staying overnight. I was suppose to call my husband and let him know. Well when they decided they called him and it took 2 hrs to reach him (he ignore there pages) and than when he did finally answer and he came and got me him and the kids were all mad at me for "ruining their fun".. I dunno obviously they had something planned that now that I was home they could not do. I was called every name in the book and felt horrible. Not to mention how much pain I was in. I have since divorced that man and now am married to someone else who "used" to be sweet. But he is already sick and tired of all my aches and pains and he says he will supportive of my choice to do this surgury that apparently means only if I am nice and sweet and not ever in a bad mood and do not hold him respsonsible for his bad actions. He is not speaking to me right now cause he threw away some important papers of mine that were in his nightstand without asking me and I yelled at him. I was upset. He did not apologize for thorwing them away. I had to go dig in the trash to get them out. I of course was very upset and of course ran directly to the cupboard and ate about 10 fig newtons and a small dish of ice cream. I told him lhe other day ofter my apt that I was very upset about how much I weight and how much pain I was in and how I need his help and support. I do not call this help and support. I realllllly wish they had not taken my phen/fen away. Except for the 1.5 years I was on phen/fen I have always wished I was not on this earth. I have never understood why god put me here if he is going to make me have such a miserable life. sigh -- ----------------------------------------------------------- cherylb@... ----------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Good for you Lea!!! My DH was like that in the beginning too. He never came to the doctors' appt with me. He said he supported me and all but he never read the literature or asked too many questions .. or attended a support group meeting. Granted we have 2 young children and he did watch them so I could go to these appts so its not that he refused that was the position we were in .. having just moved to NH at the time .. however he also didn't go beyond any measures to really support me other than say " if this is what you want to do ok by me " ... The good news now though he is so proud of my accomplishments that he is practically strutting around the neighbourhood LOL .. so I've let it pass because I am happier now too. I'm glad to hear your mother has been so good with you following you every step of the way. Thats wonderful! Where are you in New England that you are 3 hours away? Which surgeon are you going with ? Sorry memory is short .. do you have a date yet .. can we put it on the calendar? Those are good tips .. to suggest friends or family that you could turn to for extra help .. Lyssa Re: Re: discussions Cheryl, I can really feel for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Very well said Jo we have some great bitches in training on the list myself included. Hugs Lyssa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Lyssa, No I don't have a date for surgery yet. I was suppsoe to meet with my surgeon on the 17th after meeting the critetia of the program at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center but they have pushed my appt back to May 31. I live in Berlin, NH. Its way up in the north country. The Hanover-Lebanon area is about 2 1/2 to # hrs depending on traffic, weather and construction. My surgeon will be Dr. Buchard. He is a general surgeon but has performed over 150 open RNYs. To even be considered for surgery you first have to have a consult with him. Then you MUST attend 4 support group meeting and lose 15 lbs. Then you meet with the dietician and endocrinologist. Then back to see Dr. Bruchard to schedule surgery and fight for approval. I am in a very good posistion since the office does all the fighting. They have already done my diet history and my list of co-morbs. This office will fight for you till the very end. I am on medicaid and they are the easiest to get approval form. Lea Send an Easter Egg!!! View My SlamBook! | Sign My SlamBook! All about me Good for you Lea!!! My DH was like that in the beginning too. He never came to the doctors' appt with me. He said he supported me and all but he never read the literature or asked too many questions .. or attended a support group meeting. Granted we have 2 young children and he did watch them so I could go to these appts so its not that he refused that was the position we were in .. having just moved to NH at the time .. however he also didn't go beyond any measures to really support me other than say " if this is what you want to do ok by me " ... The good news now though he is so proud of my accomplishments that he is practically strutting around the neighbourhood LOL .. so I've let it pass because I am happier now too. I'm glad to hear your mother has been so good with you following you every step of the way. Thats wonderful! Where are you in New England that you are 3 hours away? Which surgeon are you going with ? Sorry memory is short .. do you have a date yet .. can we put it on the calendar? Those are good tips .. to suggest friends or family that you could turn to for extra help .. Lyssa Re: Re: discussions Cheryl, I can really feel for you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE FREE! GET THE OFFICIAL COMPANION TO TELEVISION'S HOTTEST GAME SHOW PHENOMENON PLUS 5 MORE BOOKS FOR $2. Click for details. http://click./1/3014/7/_/675032/_/955540851/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Pam, I have lived in this area my whole 30 yrs. Home town girl all the way. Grew up in Gorham but Berlin and Gorham are synonymous. Lea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Very well spoken I must say! Dawn -----Original Message-----From: william rich Sent: Wednesday, April 12, 2000 6:51 AMTo: OSSG-NewEnglandegroupsSubject: Re: Re: discussions ----- Original Message ----- One thing I have found since I've lost weight is that I am a lot more assertive with people about my needs. It is probably not right, but I guess I had to feel good about my self, or worthy or something, in order to insist that others not walk all over me. I DO insist on that now, and I just couldn't before. You may find that in time, that happens to you also. Please keep posting....many of us have been where you are, both physically and emotionally. If you are able, there is a support meeting Thursday night in Newton that you are welcome to attend. You'll meet a lot of us, meet some doctors that do the surgery (Thayer and Reines), and learn a lot. Please come if you can. Hugs from Plymouth, MA kim Kim knows of what she speaks!!!! Once we like ourselves again and become assertive it takes the people around us awhile to figure out that we are not going to take it anymore. There are a lot of people on this list who understand this and are going thru the same thing. Most of my family and I are not getting along right now because "they" are having a hard time adapting to the fact that I am not going to be walked over anymore!!!! I suppose these are the trials and tribulations that we have to go thru during our rebirth. To finally have the real person ( not the timid, no self esteem) one shine thru. And I do mean "shine thru". If you ever come to a get together and see some of the people who are close to a year out, you wont believe the difference in our personalities from a year ago. Much more extroverted. We like ourselves, we really really like ourselves. ( Sally field impersonation for those of you not old enough to remember). And you will find there are many of us on this list who have come a long way from taking our vitamin P everyday (prozac, paxil) to being very up people. Please keep sharing, there are many very understanding people on this list. We have all been in the same shoes, ( except dawn, we cant walk in her 6 inch spiked heels) Matter of fact we really were all in the same shoes last week at bowling. Thanks again for putting that together it was a blast. And unfortunately no one won anything at bingo that night. Jo ps A few months ago on this list we had a lot of discussion of wether or not we were just becoming assertive or the real "bitches " we are. It is just good old fashioned self esteem. But some people enjoy being a bitch ha ha Just ask Dawn or Carla. Hee Hee see, being on this list we can kid with each other that way. After you get to know us, you will too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Lyssa....Jo taught me VERY well! -----Original Message-----From: LyssaF Sent: Wednesday, April 12, 2000 8:07 AMTo: OSSG-NewEnglandegroupsSubject: RE: Re: discussions Very well said Jo we have some great bitches in training on the list myself included. Hugs Lyssa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Cheryl, Like most people have said, we've all encountered both positive and negative feedback relating to being a chubby kid, an overweight teen, and an obese adult. Unfortunately people who don't have problems with their weight (not too many people are ever 100% at their weight without a few pounds fluctuating), do not understand how hard it can be for us. I have certain friends who I will admire for the rest of my life, and others who I could care less. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate anyone, but know who my real friends are. Lot's of these friends I've gained over the last year, being subscribed to lists, going to support meetings, and talking when I have good/bad days. Most of this is done on here, and I thank EVERYONE for giving me the opportunity to do so. Back a few years ago, I hit rock bottom depression due to people's ignorance, and upon going to support meetings while a short stay at a psychiatric hospital, we determined that most of my problems were all due to being ignored, made fun of, or not having the support system I needed to discuss my morbid obesity. They then prescribed Paxil, which helped take the edge off, however, it did nothing for my weight. Once I hit rock bottom for the second time one year later, it was then I told myself that I am doing the " Final stage " , and having Gastric Bypass. I knew nothing about it at this time, but started my research. I told NOBODY about what I was thinking, but knew for ME it was my last chance at proving " I CAN DO THIS " . Here I am, 2 1/2 years after my last major depression and off Paxil, having had an Open RNY 8/9/99, and down 123 lbs at my last weigh in. I now don't let ANYONE step on my toes, and tell them off if they do. I don't get the negative looks I used to get anymore, and I believe it's not just because I've lost weight, but that my motivation, and self esteem has risen so much, that it shows in my face. I'm confident in achieving my major goals in life, and those people who weren't supportive in the beginning are now extremely happy, and constantly asking how I'm doing, or complimenting me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a snob about this, but it really, truly feels wonderful (yet still a bit difficult to comprehend/accept at times), but I know I'm on the right track, and this is what I chose, and will succeed if it's the last thing I do! Good luck with all your decisions, and chose who you wish to tell, if any, and do it for you! Dawn (aka: Blondie) Re: Re: discussions In <8d0j38+7umheGroups>, on 04/12/00 at 12:00 AM, " Alice " said: >I am envious of the friendship I feel on this site and others and know >that in order for me to not feel like an outsider I have to take a risk >and participate. Well I am glad to see someone understands how I feel. I think it is hard to jump in and share some painfull and hard to talk about issues though with all this other talk going on. Feel like I am intruding on a party with a bunch of down stuff. I hope my apt with the nutritionist the other day. Ever since than I have been more depressed than usual. There are many reasons for this but I think the biggest one is that I am fearfull now I will not be able to have the surgyury or if I do that it will be a failure. I do not think I will be able to have it cause the receptionist at the Dr's office gave ne the impression that there is no way I would get to surgury this summer. Summer is the only time I have people here who can help. But than I got to thinking about this. That is silly.. I have nooone to help. Oh sure the kids will be home but do you really think they will help.. Well you do not know my kids but they will not. This is bringing back memories of when I had my first cornia transplant. I went to the hospital not knowing if I was comming home that day or staying overnight. I was suppose to call my husband and let him know. Well when they decided they called him and it took 2 hrs to reach him (he ignore there pages) and than when he did finally answer and he came and got me him and the kids were all mad at me for " ruining their fun " .. I dunno obviously they had something planned that now that I was home they could not do. I was called every name in the book and felt horrible. Not to mention how much pain I was in. I have since divorced that man and now am married to someone else who " used " to be sweet. But he is already sick and tired of all my aches and pains and he says he will supportive of my choice to do this surgury that apparently means only if I am nice and sweet and not ever in a bad mood and do not hold him respsonsible for his bad actions. He is not speaking to me right now cause he threw away some important papers of mine that were in his nightstand without asking me and I yelled at him. I was upset. He did not apologize for thorwing them away. I had to go dig in the trash to get them out. I of course was very upset and of course ran directly to the cupboard and ate about 10 fig newtons and a small dish of ice cream. I told him lhe other day ofter my apt that I was very upset about how much I weight and how much pain I was in and how I need his help and support. I do not call this help and support. I realllllly wish they had not taken my phen/fen away. Except for the 1.5 years I was on phen/fen I have always wished I was not on this earth. I have never understood why god put me here if he is going to make me have such a miserable life. sigh -- ----------------------------------------------------------- cherylb@... ----------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Get paid for the stuff you know! Get answers for the stuff you don’t. And get $10 to spend on the site! http://click./1/2200/7/_/675032/_/955512772/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Lea, Hello. I'm 18 miles north of Concord. How long have you been up in Berlin?? Pam On Wed, 12 Apr 2000 09:24:50 -0400 (EDT) countrygirl752@... writes: > Lyssa, > > No I don't have a date for surgery yet. I was suppsoe to meet with > my > surgeon on the 17th after meeting the critetia of the program at > Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center but they have pushed my appt back > to > May 31. I live in Berlin, NH. Its way up in the north country. > The > Hanover-Lebanon area is about 2 1/2 to # hrs depending on traffic, > weather and construction. My surgeon will be Dr. Buchard. He is a > general surgeon but has performed over 150 open RNYs. > > To even be considered for surgery you first have to have a consult > with > him. Then you MUST attend 4 support group meeting and lose 15 lbs. > Then you meet with the dietician and endocrinologist. Then back to > see > Dr. Bruchard to schedule surgery and fight for approval. I am in a > very > good posistion since the office does all the fighting. They have > already done my diet history and my list of co-morbs. This office > will > fight for you till the very end. I am on medicaid and they are the > easiest to get approval form. > > Lea > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Choose 1 of 5 FREE Gifts Valued at Up to $40 from PlanetRx.com! > http://click./1/2633/7/_/675032/_/955545892/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2000 Report Share Posted April 12, 2000 Pam, I would love to be able to mett you but can't this time out. My mother is taking me down and sue to time contraints we have to leave right after my appt. I will be going down on May 31 and hopefully my husband will go that time. Lea Send an Easter Egg!!! View My SlamBook! | Sign My SlamBook! All about me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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