Guest guest Posted March 26, 2000 Report Share Posted March 26, 2000 wrote--- Last October when we saw his next drop (10-15db) I was sad again but back up and fighting in just a few days and this time the saddness and sense of being overwhellmed is holding on so long. Perhaps partly because I have been away fromt he support of the list and perhaps partly because the kidney results came within days of the hearing test...I am not sure just why. ----- - I feel so bad for you! I know my greatest fear is that Sam or Tom would show a progressive loss. Take care of yourself! oxoxo Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2000 Report Share Posted March 26, 2000 Kay wrote--- We've been there too, and I agree 100% with in that you mourn each loss. In 9 more days we will celebrate the 1 year anniversary of his CI surgery, but the year before that was certainly rocky in that every time JD was in the sound booth, at least 6 times that year, we found what little residual hearing he had was slipping away from him. Those on this list who knew me then will vouch that I was a wreck the last few times it happened. It's certainly one thing that doesn't get easier with practice. ---- Kay - it's incredible to believe it's been almost a year since JD received his CI - goes fast! He's had a great year, hasn't he? You deserve it! oxoxo Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2000 Report Share Posted March 27, 2000 on 3/27/00 9:49 AM, Listen-Uponelist at Listen-Uponelist wrote: > ... It is a strange thing that even a year ago when all of > s difficulties were begining to be diagnosed we were told his > loss would likely be degeneritive and I thought I was ready for that. > Last October when we saw his next drop (10-15db) I was sad again but > back up and fighting in just a few days and this time the saddness and > sense of being overwhellmed is holding on so long. Perhaps partly > because I have been away fromt he support of the list and perhaps partly > because the kidney results came within days of the hearing test...I am > not sure just why. > So looking for some help to get back up on my feet and to put everything > back in perspective. > ~ and 's Mom , I went through something very similar with my daughter, the first diagnosis I was up and fighting, the first major drop I had a hard time, the next battle with finding an appropriate hearing aid (for profound low frequency loss) I was down for months, the next battle with the school district (Due Process #1) and I almost couldn't handle Christmas. It just wears you out. We all have just so much in reserve. I put off seeking therapy help until it got really bad, because no one else I knew had ever gone. If they could handle it so could I. Once I admitted to others I was going to therapy and considering antidepressants, WOW, it was amazing just how many special needs moms had done the same. They just never talked about it to anyone else or even to each other! My advice would be, don't wait until it gets really bad, it just takes longer to deal with then and is harder. Kind of like putting on 5 pounds and not doing anything, before you know it is 10, 15, 20,... and then it is really tough to get off and takes a really long time and much harder work. I requested a therapist who had worked with parents of special needs kids, so she understood the stresses even if I was the first HoH mom she had seen. Even now I am very skittish about talking about antidepressants, I had sworn I wouldn't take them, but I read a lot and and in the end I decided to try them. What changed my mind was that I really needed to be able to do proactive things to help change my situation. Which you can't do if you are just scraping by, just making it day to day. I was also surprised that most of the same special needs moms who had had therapy sessions had also taken antidepressants for a time, but like me were extremely hesitant to admit it. I was feeling like a worn out tire that had no tread left, just spinning and spinning and getting no where while every one was trying to drive (in different directions) and was yelling at me. I never had time to take care of myself. Some how you have to take care of yourself. This isn't going to stop or go away. I don't want to say " go to therapy " . I just want to say it's OK to do so and that you are not weak or crazy or alone if you do. It's the situation that's crazy, and we all know it. Terri , Mother of Kathy, still trying to decide whether or not to send this out to the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2000 Report Share Posted March 28, 2000 Oh Terry.. I'm at work reading this and I'm crying. Thank you for deciding to send the message out. I know I for one have felt exactly like you described and thought that there must be something wrong with me because I wasn't handling all the bumps in the road " well enough " . Everyone keeps telling me what a good mom I am because Patty is such a happy child, so well-adjusted and doesn't get upset or depressed with all of the drops in her hearing and all of the medical procedures she's had to go through, and all I can think of is " How good of a mom can I be when despite my best efforts NOTHING is going right? " Thank you for telling me I'm not alone. Sheri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2000 Report Share Posted March 28, 2000 Terri, Thanks for sharing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2000 Report Share Posted March 28, 2000 Sheri, Terri et al..... I, too, want to thank you for sharing all of your insight and personal feelings. My wife is going through the same thing right now, after learning that both our 5 year old AND 17 month old both need hearing aids. I didn't quite understand why she was feeling the way she was even though we are both just killing ourselves to get as much info as we can and doing as much as we know how. So thank you for that, it helped ME as a husband and father to understand better what she is feeling. YOU ALL ARE ALWAYS IN OUR PRAYERS! Marc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2000 Report Share Posted March 28, 2000 Terri, Thank you so much for sharing your expierence. I know you were writting to but I wanted to let you know that there is nothing wrong in having a little help along the way. I use to be on antidepressants three years ago for other reasons and I am not ashamed of it. It got me through a difficult time in my life. Elaine D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2000 Report Share Posted March 28, 2000 Sheri, The answer to your question is right in your post: " Patty is such a happy child, so well-adjusted... " . THAT'S what a good mom does for their kids. You are definitely not alone. Stefanie >From: sbyrne1281@... > > >Oh Terry.. I'm at work reading this and I'm crying. Thank you for >deciding to send the message out. I know I for one have felt >exactly like you described and thought that there must be something >wrong with me because I wasn't handling all the bumps in the road > " well enough " . Everyone keeps telling me what a good mom I am >because Patty is such a happy child, so well-adjusted and doesn't >get upset or depressed with all of the drops in her hearing and all >of the medical procedures she's had to go through, and all I can >think of is " How good of a mom can I be when despite my best efforts >NOTHING is going right? " > >Thank you for telling me I'm not alone. > >Sheri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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