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Re: Digest Number 468

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wrote---

Last October when we saw his next drop (10-15db) I was sad again but

back up and fighting in just a few days and this time the saddness and

sense of being overwhellmed is holding on so long. Perhaps partly

because I have been away fromt he support of the list and perhaps partly

because the kidney results came within days of the hearing test...I am

not sure just why.

-----

- I feel so bad for you! I know my greatest fear is that Sam or Tom

would show a progressive loss. Take care of yourself!

oxoxo

Barbara

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Kay wrote---

We've been there too, and I agree 100% with in that you mourn each

loss. In 9 more days we will celebrate the 1 year anniversary of his CI

surgery, but the year before that was certainly rocky in that every time JD

was in the sound booth, at least 6 times that year, we found what little

residual hearing he had was slipping away from him. Those on this list who

knew me then will vouch that I was a wreck the last few times it happened.

It's certainly one thing that doesn't get easier with practice.

----

Kay - it's incredible to believe it's been almost a year since JD received his

CI - goes fast! He's had a great year, hasn't he? You deserve it!

oxoxo

Barbara

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on 3/27/00 9:49 AM, Listen-Uponelist at Listen-Uponelist wrote:

> ... It is a strange thing that even a year ago when all of

> s difficulties were begining to be diagnosed we were told his

> loss would likely be degeneritive and I thought I was ready for that.

> Last October when we saw his next drop (10-15db) I was sad again but

> back up and fighting in just a few days and this time the saddness and

> sense of being overwhellmed is holding on so long. Perhaps partly

> because I have been away fromt he support of the list and perhaps partly

> because the kidney results came within days of the hearing test...I am

> not sure just why.

> So looking for some help to get back up on my feet and to put everything

> back in perspective.

> ~ and 's Mom

,

I went through something very similar with my daughter, the first

diagnosis I was up and fighting, the first major drop I had a hard time,

the next battle with finding an appropriate hearing aid (for profound

low frequency loss) I was down for months, the next battle with the

school district (Due Process #1) and I almost couldn't handle Christmas.

It just wears you out. We all have just so much in reserve.

I put off seeking therapy help until it got really bad, because no one

else I knew had ever gone. If they could handle it so could I. Once

I admitted to others I was going to therapy and considering antidepressants,

WOW, it was amazing just how many special needs moms had done the same.

They just never talked about it to anyone else or even to each other!

My advice would be, don't wait until it gets really bad, it just takes

longer to deal with then and is harder. Kind of like putting on 5

pounds and not doing anything, before you know it is 10, 15, 20,...

and then it is really tough to get off and takes a really long time

and much harder work. I requested a therapist who had worked with

parents of special needs kids, so she understood the stresses even

if I was the first HoH mom she had seen.

Even now I am very skittish about talking about antidepressants, I had

sworn I wouldn't take them, but I read a lot and and in the end I decided

to try them. What changed my mind was that I really needed to be able to

do proactive things to help change my situation. Which you can't do if

you are just scraping by, just making it day to day. I was also surprised

that most of the same special needs moms who had had therapy sessions had

also taken antidepressants for a time, but like me were extremely hesitant

to admit it.

I was feeling like a worn out tire that had no tread left, just spinning

and spinning and getting no where while every one was trying to drive

(in different directions) and was yelling at me. I never had time to

take care of myself. Some how you have to take care of yourself.

This isn't going to stop or go away.

I don't want to say " go to therapy " . I just want to say it's OK to do so

and that you are not weak or crazy or alone if you do. It's the situation

that's crazy, and we all know it.

Terri , Mother of Kathy, still trying to decide whether or not to

send this out to the world.

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Oh Terry.. I'm at work reading this and I'm crying. Thank you for deciding to

send the message out. I know I for one have felt exactly like you described and

thought that there must be something wrong with me because I wasn't handling all

the bumps in the road " well enough " . Everyone keeps telling me what a good mom

I am because Patty is such a happy child, so well-adjusted and doesn't get upset

or depressed with all of the drops in her hearing and all of the medical

procedures she's had to go through, and all I can think of is " How good of a mom

can I be when despite my best efforts NOTHING is going right? "

Thank you for telling me I'm not alone.

Sheri

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Sheri, Terri et al..... I, too, want to thank you for sharing all of your

insight and personal feelings. My wife is going through the same thing

right now, after learning that both our 5 year old AND 17 month old both

need hearing aids. I didn't quite understand why she was feeling the way

she was even though we are both just killing ourselves to get as much info

as we can and doing as much as we know how. So thank you for that, it

helped ME as a husband and father to understand better what she is feeling.

YOU ALL ARE ALWAYS IN OUR PRAYERS!

Marc

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Terri,

Thank you so much for sharing your expierence. I know you were writting to

but I wanted to let you know that there is nothing wrong in having a

little help along the way. I use to be on antidepressants three years ago

for other reasons and I am not ashamed of it. It got me through a difficult

time in my life.

Elaine D.

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Sheri,

The answer to your question is right in your post: " Patty is such a

happy child, so well-adjusted... " . THAT'S what a good mom does for

their kids.

You are definitely not alone.

Stefanie

>From: sbyrne1281@...

>

>

>Oh Terry.. I'm at work reading this and I'm crying. Thank you for

>deciding to send the message out. I know I for one have felt

>exactly like you described and thought that there must be something

>wrong with me because I wasn't handling all the bumps in the road

> " well enough " . Everyone keeps telling me what a good mom I am

>because Patty is such a happy child, so well-adjusted and doesn't

>get upset or depressed with all of the drops in her hearing and all

>of the medical procedures she's had to go through, and all I can

>think of is " How good of a mom can I be when despite my best efforts

>NOTHING is going right? "

>

>Thank you for telling me I'm not alone.

>

>Sheri

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