Re: hi girls!

[Guest guest]

Darla,

I went thru the same thing about God and the Tubal etc. Yes I took

that out of Gods hands but at the time did not need any more children. I

have always felt so gulity about having the tubal and I told a Dr several

years ago that I didnt feel it was gods will that a woman have the tubal

etc done and he agreed with me(shock city) He was also the one who told

me that the reason I was having all the health problems I was having was

because of TL that I had. WEll I felt gulity for the longest time.

Finally I prayed and asked God to forgive me and that I know I have

suffered thru my health for doing the TL . I prayed several atimes and it

was as if God spoke to me and said.. " I am not deaf.....I hear you.....You

dont have to keep asking for forgiveness over and over....You were

forgivien upon your first prayer. AT that point.....I felt so much better

and now I concentrate of getting the TR done. And there are obstacles

that get in my way still. After miraculously getting a large sum of money

and having enough to do TL....Now Jerry has to go in for a Hernia

operation........so that has to be done first as his is more serious...SO

i dont knoiw what will be left but I am at square one almost again. I

plan on trying to get loan now! Cause I wasnt it done soon. The devil has

throwed me so many surve balls in last 2 years it is ridiculous. I do

believe in miracles......I will be praying fo you and youro family! Have

you ever thought of moving out of that state? It sounds like a terrible

place to live concerning hospitals. WElcome to the group and I am sure

you will find that Dr. LEvin is the best qualified to do the Tr should

you decide to have it done! I can personally guarantee you will find none

more qualified than him!

Good Luck ! praying for you and your family

and your situation

Wanda and Jerry

On Fri, 30 Aug 2002 22:16:52 -0500 " D. Marshall "

writes:

> Good Evening Girls!

>

> I'm new to the list. Been lurking for two days now. ) And I've

> gained so much from reading your posts! You are a precious group!

> And experiential knowledge is the best teacher... the things you all

> have gone through and are going through have taught me so much.

> Thanks for telling your story.

>

> Now, here's my story. I'm Darla, wife of . I'm 34 and 6 mos.

> is 42 and 2 mos. We have been married for 14 years.

>

> Our marriage started as a " mail order bride " story. ) We lived

> 1,000 miles from one another, both christians and praying for a

> spouse and the Lord put us together. We never saw one another till

> he came to get me AFTER I said yes to his puposal. God always makes

> the right choices when we let him choose! )

>

> Now I said all that so you will understand where I'm coming from...

> is a preacher, and I (as I said) am a christian too... well,

> when we got married and had a baby 8 mos. later, it didn't look

> good! Our little guy was premature by almost two months. Some

> tongues wagged!

>

> is Native American, I'm not. So when I had my baby at the

> indian hospitol they didn't care for me.... LITERALLY!! Our son was

> flown out to another hospitol and I was left in a room alone and

> released the next morning, I wasn't even checked again after

> delivery.

>

> So, when our precious Son was 3 weeks old he came home from the

> hospitol at a whopping 5 lbs. (he had been 4lbs 10 oz.) When he was

> 6 mos. old I had (another) gallstone attack. The only hospitol was

> the indian hospitol again. They would treat me only if I was

> pregnant and so the test came first.... meanwhile I'm laying there

> dying, in terrible pain and vomiting!

>

> The nurse came back with a pain shot, I was so mad by this point I

> said " I can't have that cause I'm not pregnant or indian! " She said

> " Oh the dr. was just in the other room with me and your test was

> positive, so we can help you now! "

>

> I nearly croaked for sure then! Here I had moved to a poverty

> stricken area and married what my parents thought was a stranger and

> they were so worried about me... and then after a troubled pregnancy

> here I'am again!

>

> So sure enough I was greeted with a call to the hospitol by my mom

> and she was yelling and demanding I get a tubal-ligation after this

> one was born, lest I have a housefull and no way to provide for

> them, and too many kids would hinder the ministry anyway (our

> ability to move, or travel, etc...) and she was not a christian at

> the time, just a concerned parent for her baby girl!

>

> So next the trouble from pregnancy one never arrived... this time I

> was healthy and fit the whole time, I even traveled home at 8mos.

> (the 1,000 miles) ) I delivered another son this time 8lbs. and 9

> oz. and two weeks late!!!!! )

>

> However, I did feel like would be hindered if I had one baby

> after another and we were poor (still are) ) And my parents were

> so set that this was right! The Indian Health Services would only

> pay for the tubal-ligation if I had it done within a month of

> delivery... so I was rushed and sorrowful, but KNEW it was the RIGHT

> thing to do! So when our baby boy #2 was 1 month old I did the

> worsed thing I could have done!!! I had the tubal-ligation! I was

> only 21 and still overwhelmed a bit at going from single, living at

> home and haveing a good job, to moving a thousand miles away, to a

> place where the culture was soooo different, and married and two

> babies in two years! Rumors were flying, I felt so immature and

> irresponsible, and others convinced me this was an act that would

> correct things! yeah right!

>

> So in 95 and I adopted a girl that was 2 yrs. old at the time.

> She is 9 now and such a blessing! our boys are 13 and 12 now. All

> healthy and happy!

>

> But in 99 I lost my dad to cancer, in 00 I lost my mom to lupus, and

> in 01 I lost my father-in-law (who was my rock after my parents were

> gone) One day as and I discussed our losses, I said something

> like, it sure would be nice to gain instead of lose for once!

> replied, we could have another baby, that would be a gain! I was

> shocked!

>

> But as we continued to talk he said " I was hurt by the

> tubal-ligation, I never thought your parents should have a say in

> our marriage like that. But I thought the carrying and delivering

> was all on you so if you wanted to end it, I would agree " . Well, I

> on the other hand was thinking he didn't want more for his

> ministry's sake and then the concern of my parents... I would

> agree... Hadn't I already proven I needed someone to tell me what to

> do, I was messing it all up!

>

> So for two years we've been thinking and looking at our options. AND

> PRAYING!!! I've repented more times than I could count for taking

> such a thing out of the hands of God and trying to do it myself.

> We've learned a lot about communication... and even out children are

> so excited about a baby coming they are all saving and planning...

>

> We homeschool, so our oldest says " Lets have the smartest baby in

> the world, we will teach him/her everything early " The middle boy...

> who is all boy says " I'm going to teach our baby to spit! " And our

> girl is going to be the second mommy and ALWAYS get up with the baby

> at night, so Daddy and I can sleep... (haha!)

>

> So anyway, I'm concerned cause I'm poor! cause I'm 34 and is

> 42! cause I live in SD where there is NOTHING, or NO ONE to help us

> with a TR! cause I was so nieve (sp) I don't know anything about the

> surgery that was done to me... cept it was cauterized... who knows

> if I'm fixable! I feel like I've failed the Lord, myself, my kids

> and my precious husband!!

>

> Please pray for me and teach me EVERYTHING I need to know about

> fixing this AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! I'm not sure where to start.

>

> I know a lot of you speak so highly of Dr. Levin... if the money

> would drop from the sky I could go to him no problem... travel I

> mean... and my brother and sister live an hour and a half north of

> St. Louis... where I grew up... I could go home for a visit... its

> been almost a year, and it was two years before that.

>

> Well, now, I just authored my first book. I'm sorry to be so long...

> I just feel like I know you all so well already. Thanks to Everyone

> who makes this list possible and to everyone who has opened up their

> hearts and stories for review for people like me who NEED to read

> it... need to know that I'm not alone in this.

>

> I'm praying for all of you from this day on... Please do the same

> for me.

>

> I will close here, good night,

> darla

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Darla,

Good luck on your TR journey.. I am still in saving process my self...

(about 2 yrs) but God willing it will be done Feb. 2003....Anyway, Good Luck,

Mechelle

[Guest guest]

Welcome Darla! I feel that if the TR were truly meant to be, the money will

come... it did for us.After many months of praying we were able to have the

surgery and 3 months later, we were able to conceive our 3rd child. We feel

very blessed. I am sure your time will come too.

in MI

DD 4/91

DD 6/94

TL 6/94

TR 4/02

EDD 3/03

hi girls!

Good Evening Girls!

I'm new to the list. Been lurking for two days now. ) And I've gained so

much from reading your posts! You are a precious group! And experiential

knowledge is the best teacher... the things you all have gone through and are

going through have taught me so much. Thanks for telling your story.

Now, here's my story. I'm Darla, wife of . I'm 34 and 6 mos. is 42

and 2 mos. We have been married for 14 years.

Our marriage started as a " mail order bride " story. ) We lived 1,000 miles

from one another, both christians and praying for a spouse and the Lord put us

together. We never saw one another till he came to get me AFTER I said yes to

his puposal. God always makes the right choices when we let him choose! )

Now I said all that so you will understand where I'm coming from... is a

preacher, and I (as I said) am a christian too... well, when we got married and

had a baby 8 mos. later, it didn't look good! Our little guy was premature by

almost two months. Some tongues wagged!

is Native American, I'm not. So when I had my baby at the indian

hospitol they didn't care for me.... LITERALLY!! Our son was flown out to

another hospitol and I was left in a room alone and released the next morning, I

wasn't even checked again after delivery.

So, when our precious Son was 3 weeks old he came home from the hospitol at a

whopping 5 lbs. (he had been 4lbs 10 oz.) When he was 6 mos. old I had

(another) gallstone attack. The only hospitol was the indian hospitol again.

They would treat me only if I was pregnant and so the test came first....

meanwhile I'm laying there dying, in terrible pain and vomiting!

The nurse came back with a pain shot, I was so mad by this point I said " I

can't have that cause I'm not pregnant or indian! " She said " Oh the dr. was just

in the other room with me and your test was positive, so we can help you now! "

I nearly croaked for sure then! Here I had moved to a poverty stricken area

and married what my parents thought was a stranger and they were so worried

about me... and then after a troubled pregnancy here I'am again!

So sure enough I was greeted with a call to the hospitol by my mom and she was

yelling and demanding I get a tubal-ligation after this one was born, lest I

have a housefull and no way to provide for them, and too many kids would hinder

the ministry anyway (our ability to move, or travel, etc...) and she was not a

christian at the time, just a concerned parent for her baby girl!

So next the trouble from pregnancy one never arrived... this time I was

healthy and fit the whole time, I even traveled home at 8mos. (the 1,000 miles)

) I delivered another son this time 8lbs. and 9 oz. and two weeks late!!!!!

)

However, I did feel like would be hindered if I had one baby after

another and we were poor (still are) ) And my parents were so set that this

was right! The Indian Health Services would only pay for the tubal-ligation if I

had it done within a month of delivery... so I was rushed and sorrowful, but

KNEW it was the RIGHT thing to do! So when our baby boy #2 was 1 month old I did

the worsed thing I could have done!!! I had the tubal-ligation! I was only 21

and still overwhelmed a bit at going from single, living at home and haveing a

good job, to moving a thousand miles away, to a place where the culture was

soooo different, and married and two babies in two years! Rumors were flying, I

felt so immature and irresponsible, and others convinced me this was an act that

would correct things! yeah right!

So in 95 and I adopted a girl that was 2 yrs. old at the time. She is 9

now and such a blessing! our boys are 13 and 12 now. All healthy and happy!

But in 99 I lost my dad to cancer, in 00 I lost my mom to lupus, and in 01 I

lost my father-in-law (who was my rock after my parents were gone) One day as

and I discussed our losses, I said something like, it sure would be nice

to gain instead of lose for once! replied, we could have another baby,

that would be a gain! I was shocked!

But as we continued to talk he said " I was hurt by the tubal-ligation, I

never thought your parents should have a say in our marriage like that. But I

thought the carrying and delivering was all on you so if you wanted to end it, I

would agree " . Well, I on the other hand was thinking he didn't want more for his

ministry's sake and then the concern of my parents... I would agree... Hadn't I

already proven I needed someone to tell me what to do, I was messing it all up!

So for two years we've been thinking and looking at our options. AND

PRAYING!!! I've repented more times than I could count for taking such a thing

out of the hands of God and trying to do it myself. We've learned a lot about

communication... and even out children are so excited about a baby coming they

are all saving and planning...

We homeschool, so our oldest says " Lets have the smartest baby in the world,

we will teach him/her everything early " The middle boy... who is all boy says

" I'm going to teach our baby to spit! " And our girl is going to be the second

mommy and ALWAYS get up with the baby at night, so Daddy and I can sleep...

(haha!)

So anyway, I'm concerned cause I'm poor! cause I'm 34 and is 42! cause I

live in SD where there is NOTHING, or NO ONE to help us with a TR! cause I was

so nieve (sp) I don't know anything about the surgery that was done to me...

cept it was cauterized... who knows if I'm fixable! I feel like I've failed the

Lord, myself, my kids and my precious husband!!

Please pray for me and teach me EVERYTHING I need to know about fixing this AS

SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! I'm not sure where to start.

I know a lot of you speak so highly of Dr. Levin... if the money would drop

from the sky I could go to him no problem... travel I mean... and my brother and

sister live an hour and a half north of St. Louis... where I grew up... I could

go home for a visit... its been almost a year, and it was two years before that.

Well, now, I just authored my first book. I'm sorry to be so long... I just

feel like I know you all so well already. Thanks to Everyone who makes this list

possible and to everyone who has opened up their hearts and stories for review

for people like me who NEED to read it... need to know that I'm not alone in

this.

I'm praying for all of you from this day on... Please do the same for me.

I will close here, good night,

darla