Q

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/12/2000 9:48:46 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

tinkerbell@... writes:

<< One thought I had while walking was to ask you guys if there are any

reasons for not losing weight. For a woman who has been overweight all her

life, becoming slim and thus attractive is scary. You get noticed more, and

while it can boost your self esteem, if you've never dealt with the attention

before, it can be a challenge. What do y'all think of this? How has losing,

especially if you've lost a lot, effected you and your relationship with the

opposite sex???

>>

Okay, I'll jump in. My husband has become more jealous since I dropped

20-some pounds. He doesn't want me to lose any more - even though I'm just

10 pounds or so from when I feel the most comfortable. He'll buy the ice

cream, bring desserts, stuff like that. Sometimes I just don't have the

willpower to avoid stuff, especially if it's right here. He'll say " come

on, you deserve it " - which is just the attitude I'm trying to avoid!!!

I've never felt like I could give Crawford a run for her money - and

it's different for me to have a man look - that hasn't happened for many

years. I kind of enjoy it - which causes problems. I get in trouble at

home for my attire - which, by the way, has never been anything other than

frumpy.....

I just made the man sound like a real jerk - he's not. Just insecure....

Terri

[Guest guest]

I walked around Stone Mountain here today... 1.25 hours of walking and

daydreaming bout being thin.

One thought I had while walking was to ask you guys if there are any reasons for

not losing weight. For a woman who has been overweight all her life, becoming

slim and thus attractive is scary. You get noticed more, and while it can boost

your self esteem, if you've never dealt with the attention before, it can be a

challenge. What do y'all think of this? How has losing, especially if you've

lost a lot, effected you and your relationship with the opposite sex???

jo

" We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an

imperfect person perfectly. " It's all about acceptance.

[Guest guest]

HI Jo

Although I have really only been overweight the last ten years I did find

hat I could say outrages flirty things and everyone thought me harmless.

Before that I was taken a bit more seriously and a bit of a threat to women

as I was single. Now I find that as I have lost weight I have to be careful

of what I say so men do not think I am " coming on to the' " ( I come from a

long line of flirts).

I have noticed at work that one of the males now treats me differently since

I lost weight, as though I am a siren and he must be careful . It sure never

bothered him when I was 50 pounds overweight.

Now DH loves it and is so proud of me. He never tires of watching me model

new out fits for him.

Norma

[Guest guest]

jo you are right in that thought. i have been obese since teens. i think

that is my reason for sabotage when i get so close to goal. i'm getting

compliments and don't know how to handle them.

marjie/bubbles + +

190/155/145 0

20% BF

09-02-98 \__/

down 3 lbs

[Guest guest]

Dear Jo.. i think this is true. when i lost my weight before i was very

uncomfortable with all the attention and the comments.. this time i have bounced

in the 170s for two years I think because at that weight i am not exactly so

fat that people would make fat remarks but not thin enought to attract men ..

its kinda a safe zone..... now i have entered the 160s and in July i had two

dating experiences that set off an eating binge for a few days.. but I am now

back

under control again . it reminded me of how scary it can get but i worked tbru

it and I am much stronger now and prepared to deal with things.. I know now i

not only have to have control of my eating but of how i react to men..

It is odd tho that men who will not look at you at one weight will suddenly

become interested in you at a lower weight.. when you are the same person

inside.. some of that kind of attention makes me very angry.. I think to find

anyone I would have to find someone new because if someone i have known all

along became interested in me when i lost the weight only. i would have a

feeling of resentment...but now that i am getting complements i do smile and say

thank you

and walk on in a manner so as to let them know they don't dare go any further

than they just did

catherine

tinkerbell wrote:

> I walked around Stone Mountain here today... 1.25 hours of walking and

daydreaming bout being thin.

>

> One thought I had while walking was to ask you guys if there are any reasons

for not losing weight. For a woman who has been overweight all her life,

becoming slim and thus attractive is scary. You get noticed more, and while it

can boost your self esteem, if you've never dealt with the attention before, it

can be a challenge. What do y'all think of this? How has losing, especially if

you've lost a lot, effected you and your relationship with the opposite sex???

[Guest guest]

I think there is a lot to the theory that there is " safety in numbers " -

that we fear becoming slim because we'll be leaving our " comfort zone " . I

actually liked all the attention I was getting after losing the 35#, but I

get a little self concious about some of the remarks that are made. I think

that what scares me the most about losing weight is that, once I am at

goal, I won't be able to keep it off. Christabelle

Re: Q

Dear Jo.. i think this is true. when i lost my weight before i was very

uncomfortable with all the attention and the comments.. this time i have

bounced in the 170s for two years I think because at that weight i am not

exactly so fat that people would make fat remarks but not thin enought to

attract men .. its kinda a safe zone..... now i have entered the 160s and in

July i had two dating experiences that set off an eating binge for a few

days.. but I am now back

under control again . it reminded me of how scary it can get but i worked

tbru it and I am much stronger now and prepared to deal with things.. I know

now i not only have to have control of my eating but of how i react to men..

It is odd tho that men who will not look at you at one weight will

suddenly become interested in you at a lower weight.. when you are the same

person inside.. some of that kind of attention makes me very angry.. I

think to find anyone I would have to find someone new because if someone i

have known all along became interested in me when i lost the weight only. i

would have a feeling of resentment...but now that i am getting complements i

do smile and say thank you

and walk on in a manner so as to let them know they don't dare go any

further than they just did

catherine

tinkerbell wrote:

> I walked around Stone Mountain here today... 1.25 hours of walking and

daydreaming bout being thin.

>

> One thought I had while walking was to ask you guys if there are any

reasons for not losing weight. For a woman who has been overweight all her

life, becoming slim and thus attractive is scary. You get noticed more, and

while it can boost your self esteem, if you've never dealt with the

attention before, it can be a challenge. What do y'all think of this? How

has losing, especially if you've lost a lot, effected you and your

relationship with the opposite sex???

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