Re: Difficulty metabolizing love

[Guest guest]

Pst,..., who wants it?

Carol

At 02:22 AM 3/18/99 -0000, you wrote:

>Hi gang!

>

>I'm off to my new shrink tomorrow. Pete, I remember a post a while ago,

when you talked about love. Longing for love but at the same time, fearing

that it will destroy you. I think I have trouble metabolizing love, that's

why I drank. It was very embarrassing not to be able to handle love. Can

anyone relate to this? What is the solution? I don't want to be in therapy

for the rest of my life...

>

>Apple

>

>http://www.AAdeprogramming.com

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

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>

[Guest guest]

Hi Apple! Great website! I don't have the intellectual capability to put in

to writing a response to your questions/statements regarding the difficulty of

finding and keeping love. Earlier you wrote that a first love had gone bad

leaving you in pain and not willing or able to subject yourself to the

possibility of going through that again. I feel the same way but I have

overcome a lot of that fear. First by being angry! How dare they steal that

trusting loving part of me! Then I accepted that I couldn't change the past

(but even now 25 years later if I hear a rumor that his marriage is on the

rocks I revert to my evil twin and smile). Then I resolved that I wouldn't

let what someone did to me keep me a prisoner of my fear forever. The best

revenge is a good life. And after all as painful as it was I did survive and

if it happened again I would continue to survive. I have rambled I know but I

did want you to know that you are not alone and I believe most people feel

same way. " What doesn't kill us makes us strong " and I might add cynical,

mistrusting, and outspoken.

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[Guest guest]

Petey boy!

Well, I went to the shrink (does my head look smaller?) My shrink friend (not

paid shrink) says the answer to the problem is to have some healing

relationships. He says that intellectualizing it won't fix it. It just becomes

difficult to take the risk after too many bad experiences in a row. But I think

it's the only way. I think a good hug, not a bullshit AA hug will help....

Apple

> risk being close to someone when you get the chance. if it works, enjoy it,

and try something else, or

> P.

>

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[Guest guest]

{{{Apple}}}

hope cyber hugs will do.

P.

> Petey boy!

>

> Well, I went to the shrink (does my head look smaller?) My shrink friend (not

paid shrink) says the answer to the problem is to have some healing

relationships. He says that intellectualizing it won't fix it. It just becomes

difficult to take the risk after too many bad experiences in a row. But I think

it's the only way. I think a good hug, not a bullshit AA hug will help....

>

> Apple

>

> > risk being close to someone when you get the chance. if it works, enjoy it,

and try something else, or

>

>

>

> > P.

>

> >

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Internet FileZone: Always FREE!

> Instantly store & access your valuable PC files on the net,

> from any Web browser. http://offers./click/235/0

>

>

[Guest guest]

wrote:

Original Article: /list/12-step-free/?start=3432

> {{{Apple}}}

>

> hope cyber hugs will do.

>

> P.

>

aaaawwwww... shucks... sniff...

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[Guest guest]

wrote:

Original Article: /list/12-step-free/?start=3415

> Hi Apple! Great website! I don't have the intellectual capability to put in

> to writing a response to your questions/statements regarding the difficulty of

> finding and keeping love. Earlier you wrote that a first love had gone bad

> leaving you in pain and not willing or able to subject yourself to the

> possibility of going through that again. I feel the same way but I have

> overcome a lot of that fear. First by being angry! How dare they steal that

> trusting loving part of me! Then I accepted that I couldn't change the past

> (but even now 25 years later if I hear a rumor that his marriage is on the

> rocks I revert to my evil twin and smile). Then I resolved that I wouldn't

> let what someone did to me keep me a prisoner of my fear forever. The best

> revenge is a good life. And after all as painful as it was I did survive and

> if it happened again I would continue to survive. I have rambled I know but I

> did want you to know that you are not alone and I believe most people feel

> same way. " What doesn't kill us makes us strong " and I might add cynical,

> mistrusting, and outspoken.

>

Thanks Mardinoyes...

I think the anger part is necessary. I've done this in other areas, but not this

one. This one, I still feel like a loser. (I know, I know this is not group

therapy, this is 12-step-free) It's interesting how the same core issue is

there, and after 5 years, the steps didn't even scratch the surface.

Apple

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[Guest guest]

> > {{{Apple}}}

>

> >

>

> > hope cyber hugs will do.

>

> >

>

> > P.

>

> >

>

> aaaawwwww... shucks... sniff...

Careful now apple, you might start fermenting, and some birds get drunk on you!

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Pete Watts

Grant me the Strength

To Change the Things I Can Not Accept

PERSONALITY-DISORDERS SUPPORT LIST:

http://rdz.acor.org/athenaeum/lists.phtml?personality-disorders

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