A Womens Random Thoughts

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A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS> > >> > > If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always> > > be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.> > > But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats> > > your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear> > > to realize that you had set it free.......You either married it orgave> > > birth to it.> > > Insanity is my only means of relaxation.> > >> > > Reason to smile: Every 7minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics> class> > > pulls a hamstring.> > >> > > Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and> > forget> > > where they left them.> > >> > > One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman> > gain> > > 5 lbs.> > >> > > My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.> > >> > > The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.> > >> > > The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then,> your> > > body and your fat are really good friends.> > >> > > Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.> > >> > > Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regainconsciousness.> > >> > > I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing togetherand> > > setting my pantyhose on fire.> > >> > > Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks> two> > > sizes!> > >> > > Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You> > know,> > > sometimes I just forget to eat."> > > Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys.But> > > I've never forgotten to eat. You> > > have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.> > >> > > They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all> that> > > communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said,> > > "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous> toning?"> > > Clear as a bell> my body said, "listen witch.....do it and> > > die."> > >> > > The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing> and> > > then they marry him.> > >> > > I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are:eating> > too> > > much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they> > > kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.> > >