Jill

[Guest guest]

I sent you the info to you email address. I realized after I hit

send that it would be posted in the group. You might want to delete

your message with your address or if you want I can do it. Its up to

you.

Hugs

nne

[Guest guest]

At 02:16 PM 10/29/2002 -0800, you wrote:

>Hi Jill, how are you hanging in there?

Much better, thanks, at least my state of mind. I have a slight cold and

slight fever, which on chemo makes me feel like I have the flu. But the

drug my shrink gave me to stablize my mood really helped. Also yesterdady I

went to my first in-person bc support group, and it was great. It was so

wonderful to be in a room of bald women talking details about chemo for an

hour and a half and finally feel like I belong. Sometimes I think that

having a potentially fatal disease changed me. I always knew, of course,

that I would die someday, but it was always later, something I didn't have

to think about now, and I assumed I'd die of old age. I still might, but

being in closer touch with my mortality has changed me, and not for the

worse. When I'm not depressed, it makes me much more Zen-like and helps me

appreciate each moment. Plus I tend to say yes to my daughter more often,

even if I'm bored to death of the game she wants to play. It's improved our

relationship and I'm really grateful for it.

Jill

> I just always think that I can spend the rest of my time laying around

> and feeling sorry for myself....or I can do all that I can do, to be

> happy, have a good state of mind and live life......trust me, it breaks

> my heart to think of my husband and my family, and leaving them, but that

> is not for a long time yet and I want to enjoy the time i have it will

> get better, trust me hugs K

[Guest guest]

Thanks. I have a cold and a small fever but it's under 100.5 so I don't

have to call the doctor! Woo hoo!! That is one (of many) parts of chemo I

won't miss.

Jill

At 09:05 AM 10/30/2002 -0600, you wrote:

>Jill,

>I am so glad that you went to the support group and that you are doing a

>bit better.

>Hugs

>nne

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> Re: Jill

>

>

> At 02:16 PM 10/29/2002 -0800, you wrote:

>

> >Hi Jill, how are you hanging in there?

>

> Much better, thanks, at least my state of mind. I have a slight cold and

> slight fever, which on chemo makes me feel like I have the flu. But the

> drug my shrink gave me to stablize my mood really helped. Also

> yesterdady I

> went to my first in-person bc support group, and it was great. It was so

> wonderful to be in a room of bald women talking details about chemo for an

> hour and a half and finally feel like I belong. Sometimes I think that

> having a potentially fatal disease changed me. I always knew, of course,

> that I would die someday, but it was always later, something I didn't have

> to think about now, and I assumed I'd die of old age. I still might, but

> being in closer touch with my mortality has changed me, and not for the

> worse. When I'm not depressed, it makes me much more Zen-like and helps me

> appreciate each moment. Plus I tend to say yes to my daughter more often,

> even if I'm bored to death of the game she wants to play. It's improved

> our

> relationship and I'm really grateful for it.

>

> Jill

>

>

> > I just always think that I can spend the rest of my time laying around

> > and feeling sorry for myself....or I can do all that I can do, to be

> > happy, have a good state of mind and live life......trust me, it breaks

> > my heart to think of my husband and my family, and leaving them, but

> that

> > is not for a long time yet and I want to enjoy the time i have it

> will

> > get better, trust me hugs K

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Don't worry Doris. I have been depressed on and off all my life due to bad

brain chemistry and a bad father. I'm 47 and I figure if I haven't become

catatonic yet I'm not about to. I'm really sorry about your family member

but that's a very unusual response to depression and it's possible she has

something else wrong with her brain chemistry. I hope they are trying other

medications for her because maybe she can be helped. I've known many

depressed people in my life, through group therapy and email groups, and

I've never before heard of someone being catatonic only because of

depression. It sounds like she really needs help. I'm so sorry.

Thank you for letting me post my feelings here. Now I'm annoyed because

I've gained seven pounds in five days on this new anti-depressant but I'm

not catatonic or even horribly depressed so I guess I should be grateful.

Thanks again for your caring and support, and please try to make sure your

family member is getting all the help she needs. It took me years to find

the right combination of therapy and antidepressants that worked (before

bc) and they are coming up with new medications every day. I really think

maybe she can be helped with the right medicine. Although it sounds like

you're on top of it.

Hugs,

Jill

At 10:01 PM 11/29/2002 +0000, you wrote:

>I have been out of town since Wed. and before that was busy getting

>the meal ready to carry with us so I am behind. But do remember that

>we are here for you when you want to post. We don't mind if you post

>when you are depressed. We do mind if you let the depression get the

>best of you....that wouldn't be good. I know you are taking something

>for it...try to relax and let it work. This is the season of the year

>that more people get depressed than any other so you are definitely

>not alone.

>I just don't want to see you get too down and not fight this

>depression...I have a dear person in my family who got depressed and

>did nothing to try to stop it...she is now in a " catatonic " state and

>unable to do for herself. Depression is horrible but with all the

>medications out there as well as counseling if it is needed, you

>should be able to deal with it.

>doris

>

>P. S. Not trying to depress anyone with the story of my family

>member...just want everyone to know that you can do something for

>depression. Just don't let it build.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Doris. Of course I wished you all a happy Thanksgiving and today I

wish you all a happy December 2nd. Misery does NOT love company. It loves

help, true, but not company. I'd love it if I were the only one in the

world with PTSD and depression and breast cancer.

Jill

At 10:04 PM 11/29/2002 +0000, you wrote:

>Whether you realize it or not, you made a first step in being

> " undepressed " . You wished all of us a happy Thanksgiving. That is

>positive...keep it up.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks " big sister Cheryl. " I never had a big sister. Well, sort of. I have

a sister who is four years younger but has always been much more mature

than me. My father never abused her; just me. So she grew up " normal " . It's

nice to have a big sister.

Love,

Jill

At 05:51 PM 11/29/2002 -0600, you wrote:

>jill

>our baby sister ,that what i call you because you knew in this ans lot of

>us are old timers in breast cancer, so girl everybody here has been

>through it or going through it now and what i say we are here for you no

>matter what the circumstance is,if you need to talk girl i will send you

>my phoine number to your email but sweetie we are here for you and we all

>are sisters in this deisease so please jill anytime you need to talk to

>any of us we are there for you we love you girl hang in there don't get

>upset and worry about posting just write what you feel we are there to

>answer anything, you have to ask you just ask, we are here for our baby

>sister in breast cancer

>love

>cheryl

[Guest guest]

Jill, the medical term for how she is ..is not catatonic...that is

just the closest I can come to describing it. She has been this way

for almost 20 years and the doctors have tried a lot of stuff. Only

one doctor says depression and I trust his judgment...the others said

alzheimers but A. patients don't get better for a while and then

regress again the way she has. Anyway, she is so far gone now both

mentally and physically that it would take a miracle to bring her

back...in fact, knowing her as I do, I don't think she would even want

to come back after the years that have passed.

> Don't worry Doris. I have been depressed on and off all my life due

to bad

> brain chemistry and a bad father.

[Guest guest]

Jill, you said you have a younger sister who was not abused. Are you

sure? Sometimes people keep things like that bottled up. If she was

not, you can say to yourself that had it not been for you, it would

have probably happened to her so you have saved her. I hope she

appreciates it. I know from what I have read that frequently one

child in a family is abused and the other is left alone; then when the

older child grows up and leaves, the younger one starts receiving the

abuse. I think people who abuse their own children must be the worst

abusers there are. I am happy you are surviving those years. doris

> >jill

> >our baby sister ,that what i call you because you knew in this ans

lot of

> >us are old timers in breast cancer, so girl everybody here has been

> >through it or going through it now and what i say we are here for

you no

> >matter what the circumstance is,if you need to talk girl i will

send you

> >my phoine number to your email but sweetie we are here for you and

we all

> >are sisters in this deisease so please jill anytime you need to

talk to

> >any of us we are there for you we love you girl hang in there don't

get

> >upset and worry about posting just write what you feel we are there to

> >answer anything, you have to ask you just ask, we are here for our

baby

> >sister in breast cancer

> >love

> >cheryl

[Guest guest]

Oh Doris, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. What a tragedy. I guess

the best you can hope for is she's found some peace and happiness inside

her own dreams.

Jill

At 10:36 PM 12/2/2002 +0000, you wrote:

>Jill, the medical term for how she is ..is not catatonic...that is

>just the closest I can come to describing it. She has been this way

>for almost 20 years and the doctors have tried a lot of stuff. Only

>one doctor says depression and I trust his judgment...the others said

>alzheimers but A. patients don't get better for a while and then

>regress again the way she has. Anyway, she is so far gone now both

>mentally and physically that it would take a miracle to bring her

>back...in fact, knowing her as I do, I don't think she would even want

>to come back after the years that have passed.