HP

[Guest guest]

Hi Pete,

This is in respose to your last response to me.

I believe the first intro to this list (at least the second time I posted)

I myself have admitted being a pagan and a 12 Stepper. I have also said

that my experiences are such where I'm moving from away from 12 STep...I

haven't been to a mainstream meeting or event in over a year. I am simply

integrating what works for me with authenticity and integrity. I do not

believe in all or nothing. Life and true integration are a process, and as

a psych student I would think you know that. In addition, just because I

say something that may sound like it comes from twelve stops (or other

places) our language is such that it is used in many places, many forms,

and it's cliches and phraseology is adaptable to many situations, and that

does not mean that something was invented by 12 STep alone and should

remain there.

You called me a fundie pagan, and I simply tried to share a project I was

working on to let you know I'm not an extremist pagan and hold a variety of

views. As a result, you slot me into christian. I tell you that I'm

trying to come up with a bridge to move away from mainstream thinking, and

you still find the need to pigeonhole me. I'm sorry, but I simple do not

wish to defend my beliefs or ideas with you, because they are not up for

attack. I'm sure there are plenty who will (and do) attack me, both

christian and pagan, but I see no reason to willingly put myself into

either camp and let them have a go at me. I suppose at this time I can't

help but wonder about where you pigeonhole yourself.

In any case, I will tell you one more thing about myself in response to

whether or not I belive in HP. Someone asked me in private email, and this

is exactly what I told them.

We are divine. Divinity is pervasive. We are the deity. This is not the

same as God is within and without. It is simply that we are God. Period.

The way I see it is like this.

Inside me there is a movie projector. It projects to the screen outside

myself. This becomes my personal reality. My perspective of the world is

dependent only on the film I I create and choose to put into that camera.

If there is a God (deity) outside of me, it is only because the film inside

me has God on it and I am watching the movie. That does not mean that God

exists outside of me. It only means that I have created a movie character

called God, place it in a role in the movie, and projected it there. If

something goes well, I do not express gratitude for that character who only

followed my direction. I simply take credit for a job well done. If

something goes wrong, I take responsibility. While I find the divine in a

lot of things, I am well aware that the divinity is mine alone. I don't

even create a character called " God " for my movie. Why bother? I know

it's me anyway, so why delude myself. However, I don't have to put

something called God into my movie role to truly appreciate nature, and

life, and creation. All I have to do is get in touch with it within

myself, and the world becomes full of it. The powerful creative force I

often feel when I make magick happen, is what some people call God.

SOmetimes, I call it Gaia. Sometimes, I call it Goddess, Selena, Great

Mother, Divine Being. But I still know that I only get as much out of this

world as I put into it from the source--which is me.

The project I'm working on is a first. I have been away from 12 Step for

more than a year. I am moving into being truer to myself. Perhaps all the

film hasn't been changed yet, and perhaps some of the stuff I'm projecting

out is still old. But after 44 years in chritianity and 1 in 12 Step, 3

in paganism and 1 in finding other ways besides 12 step to find support, I

don't belive I need to defend or deny any of it nor arbitrarily nor

pigeonhole myself during an ongoing process. I was a gutter junkie. Now

I'm not. I'm simply doing what works for me to stay out of the gutter.

But while I will debate the issues that are presented here, I won't slot

myself for someone else's convenience, or defend myself, who I am and what

I live to anyone. I simply *am.*

Maimu

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