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Time to stop lurking...

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Hello!

I've been lurking for a few weeks now, ( " Lurking "

makes it sound as if I've been hiding in your bushes

with binoculars) and it's time I crawled out and

introduced myself.

This is long, so grab yourself a drink before you

settle in. Preferably, a drink with caffeine to keep

you awake.

I have a 7yo son with severe hearing loss and a 4

1/2yo son with moderate loss. Both boys have

bilateral sensorineural losses with a cookie bite

configuration. All that would suggest a genetic loss,

however my husband and I are hearing. Other losses

among family are traced to damage. Arguing over whose

genes are responsible is nonproductive, so we don't

linger on it. Both boys are aided and oral. We sign

some out of necessity in those too noisy/too quiet

situations, mostly with the more severe 7yo. We also

have a 2yo girl that is hearing. She talks a streak

that leaves me gaping " is this what 'normal' is? "

We have had our differences with the medical community

over the source of our problems. We first suspected

hearing loss when our oldest was 9 months. We ran

into horrible audies that rubber stamped his hearing,

even though I raised concerns. I was even yelled at

that I had the problems, not my son. He was diagnosed

as moderately-severely retarded, (even after being

aided) ADD/ODD, and even a mention of autism. He was

4 1/2 when he finally received his aids. I've kicked

myself a million ways for not getting them earlier.

The doctors insist is it a progressive loss. That's

their excuse for not finding it-it wasn't there. We

disagree.

Our second son seemed SO much better than our first.

His speech was slow to appear, then picked up speed.

He was the reason I got up in the morning when the

thought of facing my oldest's behavior made me want to

hide under the bed. I would look into his big brown

eyes and dimples and swell with pride that we could

produce a hearing child. Still, we wanted to be sure.

We were floored when his test showed a moderate loss.

No one suspected it. By this time we knew the drill,

but it didn't stop us from grieving all over again.

Our third child, a daughter, was a preemie. It was

not procedure here to test all babies then, but

preemies were. She has been tested since and there's

no sign of that 'progressive' loss.

The differences between our children continue to amaze

us. They could be a study in effects of hearing loss.

Our families have provided various levels of support.

My father is visibly uncomfortable around my kids, but

he's uncomfortable in any situation with children. My

mother has always supported our decisions, sometimes

getting in the way, which I overlook because I value

the help. My in laws blamed our discipline with our

oldest. They " knew it all the time " with the second

child. They made snide comments under their breath

about our daughter's hearing loss and how we weren't

addressing it. Confused? Our daughter is hearing and

only a copy of her records convinced them.

I would not be so bold as to criticize another's

communication choices. I hope that this applies to

education choices as well since we are (gulp)

homeschooling our children. We have found this option

suits us.

I do enjoy this list. It's so nice to be among people

that understand.

scratched and dirty from lurking in the bushes

__________________________________________________

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