Yesterday's 1st day of Hospice Care Experience

[Guest guest]

Well yesterday, so far has not been any better, Dad decided he wanted NOTHING to

do with Mom this morning, He refused to do anything and everything she tried to

get out of him, even getting out of a pee soaked bed. She is a tad bit worried

that he might have heard her on Sat. with Hospice and decided to give up, well

that set Me off, I do NOT want to know Dad might have known what was going on,

but she tried to reassure me he didn't.

Then her normal caregiver () called and said that he would not be in today

as he had some doctor's appts. Well She had not even heard from Hospice yet this

morning to find if they were coming out, when, what time, etc. So I had to put a

call into them that they had to get their act together in letting her know what

was going to happen or she would give up On Hospice before it could even get

started. So they called her and said they would be out today at 1pm, that didn't

make her any happier due to his state today. She was not happy he was to sit in

his urine soaked body to wait on them. Well they showed up late, 15 minutes

late, told Mom they used actual diapers not the pull up kind. Mom said she can't

get him to wear the diapers and cannot put that kind on him making him roll

over, etc. But they told her they do not buy the other kind. She told them she

was NOT giving him the Ativan, they told her they would check with the doctor

and see what he/she said, his new assigned one, and get back to her, if the

doctor said no then they would count them and flush them. She said they are not

really helping her much, they are strictly doing him only and she was telling me

that they told her they did not have a set arrival time, that pissed Mom off,

she said urine soaked shits and a husband cannot sit un-attended like that. She

said they told her that would pull the sheets off his bed, clean the plastic and

replace the sheets but were not responsible for washing them. She said when they

bathed him today, they didn't bathe him very good as he still stinks, probably

because he sat urine dirty waiting on them to arrive at 1:15pm today. They also

do not fix him meals or feed him, do not give him his pills either. Mom is going

to have no choice but to keep the other caregiver because he does all this for

her in the short 4 hours he is there.

I just hope this works since they hardly do anything for her in relief of caring

for dad and or for Dad at a reasonable time, Mom said they were only there max

an hour, like I said Mom may give up before we can even get this started and I

will be back at square one on all of this. I am so disappointed and upset about

what they told her yesterday and that dad would have to sit urine dirty waiting

on them like that because they can't be there at an AM time to care for his

morning needs. Of course Dad will not sit that way, Mom will not have it and

will be forced to continue to fight him in the mornings to care for him

properly.

Last night he threw cake at her, he had it everywhere, all over her asking him

to sit down to eat it.

I just expected more in care towards him besides them checking vitals or

grooming only whenever they feel like it in their scheduling . . .

Tammy