RE: feeling really icky

[Guest guest]

If it's a virus, I've got it too.

Tuna

" I love mankind, it's people I hate "

Schulz

feeling really icky

I can't really explain it. I'm like actively apathetic, or apathetically

hostile, or something oxymoronish like that. :-(

I jsut don't wanna live on this planet anymore.

I'm just so SICK of humans!!!

JacquieGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :

http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

I think because autism is an invisible disability that we are not given the

same compassion that parents of other disabled children are.

G

[Guest guest]

Sorry you feel so icky. Anything in particular set it off? I like the term

actively apathetic! I've been there.

Amy H--in Michigan

Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

" Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant chords of life that lead us

to wisdom. " ~me

_________________________________________________________________

MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos:

http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx

[Guest guest]

Jacquie,

I have so btdt! When Bethany was in preschool, I had the same problems. We

were living in a bad neighborhood, with little money and I was driving

Bethany all the way across town to go to a very nice preschool. The other

mothers always looked down on me, and Bethany as well even though the other

kids LOVED Bethany. Bethany was never, ever invited to play dates or

birthday parties. The other mothers also didn't like me because I couldn't

control Kep when we were there. Kep was dxed the day before Bethany's last

day of preschool. I was depressed at the time and just could NOT handle

their attitudes towards me and Bethany. I still hold a great deal of

resentment at the treatment I received from them. Not ONE of them treated

me nicely and most only talked to me when they had to. Ugh, anxiety just

thinking about it. I am so pleased with our new neighborhood. I have more

friends and people are a lot more accepting. I just remember what that

feeling is like and it is horrible. Those women suck. They just do.

Amy H--in Michigan

Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

" Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant chords of life that lead us

to wisdom. " ~me

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

[Guest guest]

> If it's a virus, I've got it too.

>

> Tuna

>

> " I love mankind, it's people I hate "

Great quote, Tuna!

If it wasn't for the list, sometimes I think I'd just pack it all up and

take my kid and dh and move to Greenland.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

That's really crappy, Jacquie. And I have to say that

I have not had that experience here. I am sure there

are some people like that here, but I have not had the

misfortune to meet them. Everybody loves Ebony.

Hopefully this will continue as she gets older. And

also it might have to do more with higher functioning

kids. Maybe the parents feel that they are not really

disabled just not parented right? With an obvious

disability, like Ebony, maybe it's more clear cut in

their minds. I don't know. Either way it is really

crappy for them to be like that. They need to

understand that they are affecting a child's life with

their pissy attitudes.

I wish I had some suggestions for you to try to

educate these parents. Maybe compile some information

on high functioning autism and socialization and send

packets to the parents? I don't know if they would

read it, but it might be worth a try? Maybe if they

understood it better their attitudes would change for

the better.

Good Luck!!

Tamara

--- The Hunny Family wrote:

>

>

> > Sorry you feel so icky. Anything in particular

> set it off? I like the

> term

> > actively apathetic! I've been there.

>

>

> I knew that it had something to do with picking

> up at school yesterday

> but didn't know what until I thought about answering

> your question...

>

> ...and I've got it.

>

> Yesterday I learned that the kids at 's school

> are not the problem. The

> MOTHERS are the problem. Once again, I arrived to

> pick him up, standing

> among the groups of moms all chatting and shit,

> while no one paid any

> attention to me. Snubbed. How I hate being

> snubbed. I don't want to be

> friends with them, but they could at least say hello

> when I do, couldn't

> they?

>

> So I went inside to make sure he was keeping up with

> his class getting

> ready. He wasn't, and a bunch of kids told me,

> " 's in the coatroom! "

> " He needs help! " or just, " Hi, 's mom! " So I

> went and helped him, and

> then we left the school with his class. As we

> left, a bunch of kids were

> shouting to him like always -- " Bye ! See you

> Wednesday!!! " His little

> girlfriend always needs to yell goodbye to him

> about 80 times.

>

> Their moms didn't even look up or smile.

>

> So it seems clear to me that while they may not (or

> they may) be actively

> discouraging their children from being friends with

> him, they are totally

> NOT encouraging it in any way, not even as much as

> with any other kid. I

> guess they throw my number away as soon as they get

> home...probably using

> gloves for fear of any autism germs getting on them.

>

> I have some words for these women, but they're

> arent' fit to print here.

>

> Jacquie

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

>

And

>also it might have to do more with higher functioning

>kids. Maybe the parents feel that they are not really

>disabled just not parented right?

I think this is an incredibly important point! I agree with you Tamara,

that the parents of higher functioning kids get a lot more flak. I'm glad

you pointed that out.

Amy H--in Michigan

Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

" Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant chords of life that lead us

to wisdom. " ~me

_________________________________________________________________

Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com

[Guest guest]

> Sorry you feel so icky. Anything in particular set it off? I like the

term

> actively apathetic! I've been there.

I knew that it had something to do with picking up at school yesterday

but didn't know what until I thought about answering your question...

....and I've got it.

Yesterday I learned that the kids at 's school are not the problem. The

MOTHERS are the problem. Once again, I arrived to pick him up, standing

among the groups of moms all chatting and shit, while no one paid any

attention to me. Snubbed. How I hate being snubbed. I don't want to be

friends with them, but they could at least say hello when I do, couldn't

they?

So I went inside to make sure he was keeping up with his class getting

ready. He wasn't, and a bunch of kids told me, " 's in the coatroom! "

" He needs help! " or just, " Hi, 's mom! " So I went and helped him, and

then we left the school with his class. As we left, a bunch of kids were

shouting to him like always -- " Bye ! See you Wednesday!!! " His little

girlfriend always needs to yell goodbye to him about 80 times.

Their moms didn't even look up or smile.

So it seems clear to me that while they may not (or they may) be actively

discouraging their children from being friends with him, they are totally

NOT encouraging it in any way, not even as much as with any other kid. I

guess they throw my number away as soon as they get home...probably using

gloves for fear of any autism germs getting on them.

I have some words for these women, but they're arent' fit to print here.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>I am so pleased with our new neighborhood. I have more

> friends and people are a lot more accepting. I just remember what that

> feeling is like and it is horrible. Those women suck. They just do.

Yup, Amy, and they're just like the ones at the high-class preschool you

took Bethany to in that they are all incomers from the city and have pots of

money, nice clothes, good haircuts, and, apparently , personal trainers.

I, on the other hand, am a middle-low income fattie with no makeup and a

ponytail who wears the same track pants most of her life. Apparently this

makes a value judgement on us.

<sigh>

[Guest guest]

Jacquie,

I know what you mean. I have had times when I could tell that the

parents had a bigger problem with my children than the kids did with

each other. It is sad. But I have been lucky enough to have a few

moms who were very nice to me and Greggory(Alec is a whole different

situation) and encourage saying bye and hello to both of us. I have

been blessed. I know we still get excluded from alot of stuff but I

choose to think that maybe they figure Greggory cant handle some

regular kid stuff, which is sometimes true and sometimes not. But

whatever their reasons for trying to stay away from us I guess doesnt

really matter right now. I still feel hurt at times.

Jacquie H

>

>

> > Sorry you feel so icky. Anything in particular set it off? I

like the

> term

> > actively apathetic! I've been there.

>

>

> I knew that it had something to do with picking up at school

yesterday

> but didn't know what until I thought about answering your

question...

>

> ...and I've got it.

>

> Yesterday I learned that the kids at 's school are not the

problem. The

> MOTHERS are the problem. Once again, I arrived to pick him up,

standing

> among the groups of moms all chatting and shit, while no one paid

any

> attention to me. Snubbed. How I hate being snubbed. I don't want

to be

> friends with them, but they could at least say hello when I do,

couldn't

> they?

>

> So I went inside to make sure he was keeping up with his class

getting

> ready. He wasn't, and a bunch of kids told me, " 's in the

coatroom! "

> " He needs help! " or just, " Hi, 's mom! " So I went and helped

him, and

> then we left the school with his class. As we left, a bunch of

kids were

> shouting to him like always -- " Bye ! See you Wednesday!!! "

His little

> girlfriend always needs to yell goodbye to him about 80 times.

>

> Their moms didn't even look up or smile.

>

> So it seems clear to me that while they may not (or they may) be

actively

> discouraging their children from being friends with him, they are

totally

> NOT encouraging it in any way, not even as much as with any other

kid. I

> guess they throw my number away as soon as they get home...probably

using

> gloves for fear of any autism germs getting on them.

>

> I have some words for these women, but they're arent' fit to print

here.

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Me too, Jacquie!! Where do you want to go?

People really irk me too. Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of friends.

I can't figure them out. I just don't understand them.

hmmmm...

Penny

feeling really icky

I can't really explain it. I'm like actively apathetic, or apathetically

hostile, or something oxymoronish like that. :-(

I jsut don't wanna live on this planet anymore.

I'm just so SICK of humans!!!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I just cannot believe that these adults are the ones

who are being so rude and hurtful..people say kids can

be cruel..that's because they are being raised by

horrible parents. What is the matter with these

people..it's awful.

Mimi

--- Amy Helmuth wrote:

> Jacquie,

> I have so btdt! When Bethany was in preschool, I

> had the same problems. We

> were living in a bad neighborhood, with little money

> and I was driving

> Bethany all the way across town to go to a very nice

> preschool. The other

> mothers always looked down on me, and Bethany as

> well even though the other

> kids LOVED Bethany. Bethany was never, ever invited

> to play dates or

> birthday parties. The other mothers also didn't

> like me because I couldn't

> control Kep when we were there. Kep was dxed the

> day before Bethany's last

> day of preschool. I was depressed at the time

> and just could NOT handle

> their attitudes towards me and Bethany. I still

> hold a great deal of

> resentment at the treatment I received from them.

> Not ONE of them treated

> me nicely and most only talked to me when they had

> to. Ugh, anxiety just

> thinking about it. I am so pleased with our new

> neighborhood. I have more

> friends and people are a lot more accepting. I just

> remember what that

> feeling is like and it is horrible. Those women

> suck. They just do.

>

> Amy H--in Michigan

> Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

> " Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant

> chords of life that lead us

> to wisdom. " ~me

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

> http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

((Jacquie)))...I wish we could all be with you someday

when you pick up..so we could say those words to

their nasty faces.

Don't these women realize that autism or any other

disability can happen to anyone..their next

baby..their grandchild some day...these women sound

like the most horrible bunch of snobs...I feel sorry

for their kids..hopefully, it will not rub off on

them.

Mimi

--- The Hunny Family wrote:

>> I have some words for these women, but they're

> arent' fit to print here.

>

> Jacquie

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

These woman arent' worthy of you, Jacquie. period.

Penny

>>>>>

Their moms didn't even look up or smile.

<<<<<

[Guest guest]

Jacquie,

I have a really good line for you to use the next time

you walk up on that group of bitch parents. Say

something to the effect of " I am so glad your children

are so accepting of . Most of the time they don't

seem to be aware of the fact that he is autistic and

even when they do see some of the differences, they

accept him anyway " . " They seem to like him for who he

is " .

What do you think?

Ginger

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Really, they are so ignorant..their expensive haircuts

cover up their empty heads.

Mimi

--- Penny wrote:

> These woman arent' worthy of you, Jacquie. period.

>

> Penny

>

> >>>>>

> Their moms didn't even look up or smile.

> <<<<<

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

OK, that should have been AMEN! Duh to me!!

Ginger

--- myfishruleWJG@... wrote:

> I think because autism is an invisible disability

> that we are not given the

> same compassion that parents of other disabled

> children are.

>

> G

>

>

=====

Ginger, wife to Jeff

14 ADD

9 Autistic

8 NT

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

ANEN!!!!

Ginger

--- myfishruleWJG@... wrote:

> I think because autism is an invisible disability

> that we are not given the

> same compassion that parents of other disabled

> children are.

>

> G

>

=====

Ginger, wife to Jeff

14 ADD

9 Autistic

8 NT

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

It's too bad the parents aren't accepting.

When I was a " shadow " for a 6 year old in kindergarden all the kids and

parents were very accepting. He got invited to parties all the time. (i

was even invited to some). And we even had kids come to the house for

structured playdates with the therapist (and me who would babysit after

school). I think the kids loved the one on one attention.

I'm interested to see how parents will deal with those things now that it's

my kid and i'm in NY. Everyone been very accepting and helpful so far, but

it's only been 2 weeks.

in NY

[Guest guest]

>

>Yup, Amy, and they're just like the ones at the high-class preschool you

>took Bethany to in that they are all incomers from the city and have pots

>of

>money, nice clothes, good haircuts, and, apparently , personal trainers.

Yep. All moms with cars no older than 2 years, no worries about bills,

regular manicure appts and designer clothes for their kids.

>

>I, on the other hand, am a middle-low income fattie with no makeup and a

>ponytail who wears the same track pants most of her life. Apparently this

>makes a value judgement on us.

Disgusting isn't it? I'm a good person. I know I am, but at that place, no

one took the time to find out. Not one single person. Their loss I guess.

It's not like I didn't try either. I did.

Amy H--in Michigan

Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

" Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant chords of life that lead us

to wisdom. " ~me

_________________________________________________________________

Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com

[Guest guest]

>> they are all incomers from the city and have pots of

> money, nice clothes, good haircuts, and, apparently , personal

> trainers.

>

> I, on the other hand, am a middle-low income fattie with no makeup

> and a ponytail who wears the same track pants most of her life.

> Apparently this makes a value judgement on us.>>

You know, Jacquie, I remember one time seeing a photo of some

celebrity who had run out to the store and gotten caught by a

photographer...she was in an big, ratty old shirt, sweat pants, and a

scarf to cover her obviously messy hair...and the caption said

something along the lines of " This shows that So-n-so is SO secure in

her fashion sense that she isn't afraid to go out looking like a

housewife from the valley " . Huh? I remember thinking...this shows

what so-n-so looks like when she has no one to dress her...

Back then, I was actually a bit insulted (being a " housewife from the

valley " myself at the time), and then I realized...no matter what I

went out looking like, there were people out there who would always

make judgements about me vs. them based not on the kind of person I

was or what my strengths were, but on WHO they decided I was...where

I fit on their social scale. If that's the case, then who gives a

rip what those folks think...they know NOTHING about what really

matters in life.

One thing I really admire about Mark is that he honestly doesn't get

into the social " levels " ...he grew up in Burbank and Hollywood, and

he saw a lot of what goes on behind what most of us see; it really

impacted his view of what matters about people. It's pretty tough to

impress him with your social status.

Just smile and hold your head up when you walk past these ladies...I

really believe that how we treat others either increases or

diminishes us; every time you try to be friends with them and they

snub you, you grow a bit; they lose touch with an important part of

their humanity just a bit more. You don't want to trade places with

them.

And who knows...one day you may walk up to that school and find a new

mom who would just love to meet you; one of the nice things about

life in this world these days is that people are very mobile...you

aren't stuck with the same folks forever. :-)

Raena

[Guest guest]

>>>>

All moms with cars no older than 2 years,

<<<<

I have 2 cars. One is new, the other is almost 6 years old and on it's last

wheel.

>>>>>

no worries about bills,

<<<<<

Isn't this something that just isn't possible? NO ONE has a bottomless

purse. NO ONE.

>>>

regular manicure appts

<<<

I'm lucky if I get a hair cut twice a year. Manicure? please.

>>>>

designer clothes for their kids.

<<<<

Why? So they can grow out of them? Goodwill for me.

>>>>

Disgusting isn't it? I'm a good person. I know I am, but at that place, no

one took the time to find out. Not one single person. Their loss I guess.

It's not like I didn't try either. I did.

<<<<<

Their loss? Yep. Exactly Amy...Their loss

Penny

[Guest guest]

I just don't understand people buying designer clothes

for little kids..they outgrow them so fast..and my

kids get paint on their clothes from school, not to

mention what gets spilled on them from

eating..etc..why does a 5 year old need an $80 jacket?

Mimi

--- Amy Helmuth wrote:

> >

> >Yup, Amy, and they're just like the ones at the

> high-class preschool you

> >took Bethany to in that they are all incomers from

> the city and have pots

> >of

> >money, nice clothes, good haircuts, and, apparently

> , personal trainers.

>

> Yep. All moms with cars no older than 2 years, no

> worries about bills,

> regular manicure appts and designer clothes for

> their kids.

>

> >

> >I, on the other hand, am a middle-low income fattie

> with no makeup and a

> >ponytail who wears the same track pants most of her

> life. Apparently this

> >makes a value judgement on us.

>

> Disgusting isn't it? I'm a good person. I know I

> am, but at that place, no

> one took the time to find out. Not one single

> person. Their loss I guess.

> It's not like I didn't try either. I did.

>

> Amy H--in Michigan

> Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

> " Harmony breeds ignorance. It is the dissonant

> chords of life that lead us

> to wisdom. " ~me

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

> Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device:

> http://mobile.msn.com

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Oh Jacquie, I know those women too. And that's why I've been feeling so off

lately.

We really do need to buy a town so we could live near each other. And we could

make play dates for our kids. And we could help when one of us was sick or

depressed.

I think it helps to remember that there are good people out there. I just spent

the weekend with my mom and I feel so much better.

Hope you're feeling better too, Jacquie.

Tuna

Re: feeling really icky

> Sorry you feel so icky. Anything in particular set it off? I like the

term

> actively apathetic! I've been there.

I knew that it had something to do with picking up at school yesterday

but didn't know what until I thought about answering your question...

....and I've got it.

Yesterday I learned that the kids at 's school are not the problem. The

MOTHERS are the problem. Once again, I arrived to pick him up, standing

among the groups of moms all chatting and shit, while no one paid any

attention to me. Snubbed. How I hate being snubbed. I don't want to be

friends with them, but they could at least say hello when I do, couldn't

they?

So I went inside to make sure he was keeping up with his class getting

ready. He wasn't, and a bunch of kids told me, " 's in the coatroom! "

" He needs help! " or just, " Hi, 's mom! " So I went and helped him, and

then we left the school with his class. As we left, a bunch of kids were

shouting to him like always -- " Bye ! See you Wednesday!!! " His little

girlfriend always needs to yell goodbye to him about 80 times.

Their moms didn't even look up or smile.

So it seems clear to me that while they may not (or they may) be actively

discouraging their children from being friends with him, they are totally

NOT encouraging it in any way, not even as much as with any other kid. I

guess they throw my number away as soon as they get home...probably using

gloves for fear of any autism germs getting on them.

I have some words for these women, but they're arent' fit to print here.

JacquieGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :

http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

>>>> Just smile and hold your head up when you walk past these ladies...I

really believe that how we treat others either increases or

diminishes us; every time you try to be friends with them and they

snub you, you grow a bit; they lose touch with an important part of

their humanity just a bit more. You don't want to trade places with

them. <<<<

Raena,

Very well said.

Tuna