Re: Re: Hello everyone

[Guest guest]

Sherry,

I certainly understand. Our plans for so long are around caregiving and that

job is gone. And grief is a lot like that anyway. With a special day here

today, doesn't mean you can't go and find a way to make it important for you.

Even if he isn't with you. And feel free to cry. Making changes did help me.

You may find yourself doing several more.

Thinking of you today and sending up prayers.

Donna R

Caregiver for Mom for 3

years and 4th year in a nh.

(In MI)

She was almost 89 when she

died in '02. No dx other

than mine.

Re: Hello everyone

Hi Sherry,

I know exactly what you mean about feeling lost and like you have no direction

in your life. When Mom passed away, I had just gone on disability for my spinal

problems, my position at work had been filled, most of my family wouldn't talk

to me and if they did it was not nice conversation, and I was in the process of

moving from the home that Mom and I lived in for 35 years to my home in North

Las Vegas due to my respiratory problems. Here I was without Mom (who I lived

with my entire life and she died exactly one month before my 50th birthday); no

longer able to go to work - so little social contact; moving to a home that I

had for 4 months but only came to with Mom on weekends for that time period; not

knowing anyone here except for my real estate agent and the builder's sales

representative. Two days after everything was here, I bought a little chihuahua

puppy so that I could have someone to love and care for, because to me the

hardest thing was not having someone to love and care for...almost like my

purpose in life was gone. I have been very blessed to have the best neighbors

and a handful of quality friends from church here and now I have a second

chihuahua puppy to keep the first one occupied so that I can do even the most

basic of tasks. It has been hard on me, but God has got me through the tough

time. It is hard to hear people say that you will get through, because you need

to get through this on your own time line and in your own way. Please feel free

to email or call anytime if you need someone to talk to.

Hugs and prayers,

Joan

>

> I have been reading all your post and my prayers go out to all of you. Jan

C., I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your aunt. And Imogene, I see you are

hanging in there, good for you. It is good to see your post again. Thank you

again to all who sent me encouragement and prayers. Tomorrow would have been

our 35th wedding anv. so I am a little teary today. I have been going through

paperwork and moving furnture around. I never could do that before as Don would

have been really confused! But now I can so I made some changes. I feel a

little lost, like I don't have any direction in my life. I guess we get so

fixed on taking care of our LO's that we forget how to just take care of

ourself. I am finding my way a little at a time and I guess that is the best

way to do it. I remember seeing Ron post about this after he lost his dear Mom.

So this group is still helping me naviagate my way forward. You helped me know

what to expect as the LBD progressed and now those who have lost their lo's are

helping me continue to understand this part of the journey. Thank you.

> I wanted to touch base with all of you and let you know I am " lurking " so give

a shout out to me any time. I will continue to check in with you every so

often. I wish you all a happy new year, may you have wonderful times with your

LO, or wonderful memories of the LO who has passed. Please remember to take

some time for yourself, even if it is just to have a cup of tea or some special

treat for yourself.

> Sherry in Colorado

>