Guest guest Posted October 9, 1999 Report Share Posted October 9, 1999 , It has been 1 yr and 8 mos since my ep. I was not trying to get pg and was very surprised. At that time I wasn't thinking about it - the timing wasn't right. But after I realized that I was really waiting for nothing. Now I am definitely ready and plan on starting ttc in January. It has been a difficult road to get to this point but I know I am finally ready. I went through a lot of guilt and regrets and still do, so I know how you're feeling. It does get easier as time goes by. To let everyone know my SIL had a baby boy today - 6lbs 9 oz. I spent time at the hospital last night w/ her while she was in labor, walking around while she waited to dilate. I am definitely ready - what a miracle. I see him tomorrow! Tara fjdarc-@... wrote: original article:/group/ectopicpregnancy/?start=4 38 > hi everyone - I feel lost. and I ttc for 9 months before we did and > then it ended so tragically...I couldn't wait to start trying again, but this > month when AF came I was so sad...I don't want that disappointment every > month...I am really confused about my feelings. and I spoke and we > decided to stop ttc and I would go on the bcp. I am still not sure how I > feel about this, I can't quite figure out why one day I can want it so bad > and the next not want to try....how long has everyone waited before trying to > conceive? > > > > PS Krista - good luck tomorrow...I'll be thinking about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 1999 Report Share Posted October 10, 1999 Hi everyone, My name is Jo-Ann, I have been talking to Krista over the past two month. I lost my baby on August 10, 1999, and have been having a very difficult time since. I have been trying to decide what I should do about ttc again. My doctor has given me the go ahead, I'm just so afraid. I have had the HSG, and my remaining tube appears fine, so why am I still so terrified. My husband says we can try again when I'm ready, so there is nothing holding us back, but me. I feel like I'm still in mourning for the child I lost, how can I consider having another? To tell the truth, I haven't even made love with my husband since the surgery (and that makes me feel horrible). I somehow feel incomplete now, (with one tube missing) and so afraid of failure again. I know that these all normal feelings, but nothing feels normal anymore. Thanks for listening, Jo-Ann jim McCoy wrote: My DH and I were putting down wood floors in our study this weekend so the computer was dismantled for a while.,When I read your post I could relate. Throughout the past year and a half my DH and I have lived our lives month to month. Between ttc, waiting to see if we were pg., being disapppinted, or having to wait to ttc again after a pregnancy loss has made the past year so stressful and full of pressure. When my Dh and I had agreed to start ttc again we would put so much pressure on ourselves and then it wouldn't happen that month and I would be so devastated. In my current frame of mind and I guess really it's how I have felt all along, I just wanted to keep trying as soon as we could. Working towards that goal helps me to heal and feel productive ie. working out, doctor appointments to make sure "everything" is OK and finding other things to occupy my time until we can try again(re-doing floors). I know their are several of us that will be ttc in December and I feel so fortunate to have ya'll to lean on for support. Those times can be very trying.STacey McCoy Click Here! eGroups.com home: /group/ectopicpregnancy www. - Simplifying group communications Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 1999 Report Share Posted October 11, 1999 ÿþ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 1999 Report Share Posted November 16, 1999 I am not Krista, but I have been charting over a year and know some about it. Spotting is not considered " day one " . You count the first day of true, red blood flow as " day one " and go from there. You could get started taking temps now so you are in the habit when your next cycle starts. If this is your fist cycle after an ep, it will probably not be normal and you may not even ovulate. Just keep this in mind as you are going through this month If you don't have the book " Taking Charge of Your Fertility " you should consider getting it. It has all kinds of information on charting! If you have any other questions feel free to ask - one of us will know something for sure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 1999 Report Share Posted November 16, 1999 , I have been charting for about a year before my ep. Now that its my first month since my HCG is zero I don't want to miss any opportunity. The dr said I should get af in the next month. For the past three weeks I had been bleeding everyday until my HCG was zero. Then nothing for a week and then the spotting for about 6 days. I don't know how to read this? Also when I went off bcp a year ago May I don't think I started ovulating right away. When I started charting last September I didn't notice a normal pattern until November. I do have the book you mentioned. If you can add any input please let me know. Thanks, Pam ---------- > > To: ectopicpregnancyegroups > Subject: Re: ttc > Date: Tuesday, November 16, 1999 3:55 PM > > I am not Krista, but I have been charting over a year and know some about > it. > > Spotting is not considered " day one " . You count the first day of true, red > blood flow as " day one " and go from there. You could get started taking > temps now so you are in the habit when your next cycle starts. If this is > your fist cycle after an ep, it will probably not be normal and you may not > even ovulate. Just keep this in mind as you are going through this month > If you don't have the book " Taking Charge of Your Fertility " you should > consider getting it. It has all kinds of information on charting! > > If you have any other questions feel free to ask - one of us will know > something for sure > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > A shopper’s dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay! > Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time. > You never know what you might find at eBay! > http://clickhere./click/1140 > > -- Create a poll/survey for your group! > -- /vote?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 1999 Report Share Posted November 16, 1999 , Its me again. your charting sounds similar to mine. I took my temp the same time everyday. Except weekends. After your ep when you started charting again did you ovulate around the same day as before your ep? I definetly think the opk is the best thing for me right now. but I don't know what day in my cycle I am in. Thats why that spotting totally confused me. I just don't want to wait until my next period to try again. Especially since I have long cycles. That could be January. Thanks, Pam ---------- > > To: ectopicpregnancyegroups > Subject: Re: ttc > Date: Monday, November 15, 1999 10:58 PM > > Pam: > > Are you taking your temp at the same time each day? > > Are you taking your temp before you move or sit up in bed? > > Are you taking your temp after at least four hours of uninterrupted sleep? > > Are you checking CM throughout the day and reporting the " average " ? > > If you answered " no " to any of these things, that can affect your charting. > Otherwise, that is just your body's " norm " . Mine varied from month to > month...sometimes it would be a lot of ups and downs and sometimes pretty > even. I never have any clear CM at all...it is creamy for most of my cycle. > I also do not have a temp " dip " before the rise that indicates ovulation. > How long have you been charting? Once you have done it a few months (and it > seems like you have) you will get an idea of what is " normal " for you. If I > were you, I would start the opk's on about day 14 and continue from > there...you may have to use a couple of packages if you O later this month > than earlier, but that way you would be sure to catch it if it were early. > > Do you have Taking Charge of Your Fertility? That is the best book for info > on charting! > > Hope this helps you > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > A shopper’s dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay! > Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time. > You never know what you might find at eBay! > http://clickhere./click/1140 > > -- Easily schedule meetings and events using the group calendar! > -- /cal?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 1999 Report Share Posted November 16, 1999 I don't know about hcg levels as they relate to bleeding. I bled for about a week after my surgery/ectopic. I also bled for about 10 days after a m/c in 1997. They never measured my hcg levels to determine if they reached 0, just that they were dropping. Each month I spot for four or five days, then AF comes. TCOYF states that you should only count the first day of red blood flow as AF...anything else should be charted as spotting and continue charting for the same cycle. The only way to know what is going on is to wait and see at this point. Perhaps this is why your doctor told you not to bother charting, because he thought it might be a strange month cycle-wise. I don't know what your doctor told you about anything else, but I was told to wait three cycles before ttc again. This gives your body a chance to heal and get back on its normal pattern. My body seemed to get back into rhythm right away, but you may not. Are you taking temps this month? Are they showing any pattern or are they all over the place? That is the only other thing I could use to try to make sense of what is going on...unfortunately you may just have to wait and see with this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 1999 Report Share Posted November 16, 1999 I only charted one cycle before the ep, then the oddball cycle when I was pg and did not know it...then I had my tube rupture and surgery blah blah blah. I did not ovulate until the third cycle after my ep (ep in November - no O for Nov, Dec - O in Jan) It was slightly earlier than the O in Sept (first month I charted) but every month after that was within a day or so of the same point in the cycle. If you count the first day of your AF as day 1 (as you should), then you bled for three weeks, off a week, then spotting for a week, you have probably missed the window to ovulate this month and are getting ready for another AF since you are on about day 35 of this cycle. When you say your cycles are long...how long are they? Mine are 28-31 days (usually 28-29) and I O on day 17-18 (so only a 10 day luteal phase). Forgive me if I am asking you to repeat info...I lose track of who is who sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 1999 Report Share Posted November 16, 1999 Hi , Thanks for the info. I am not charting this month. I was going to start after my next real af. I am worried about not ovulating right away, because I know I didn't after I went off of the bcp. And the bcp makes your body think you are pg so how it different than this? It really stinks to wait. Would you bother doing the opk this month or do you think its a waste. I think my dh and I should try and bd alot just in case. My doctor is going to put me back on Clomid in January after I have had a couple of cycles. He said he saw no reason we couldn't ttc now though. It is really nice to have someone else the analyze this with. You really need to speak with someone who understands. My dh thinks just chill out and eventually it happens. But I have to analyze everything and have a plan. It drives me crazy because I have no control over this. Thanks, Pam ---------- > > To: ectopicpregnancyegroups > Subject: Re: ttc > Date: Tuesday, November 16, 1999 6:29 PM > > I only charted one cycle before the ep, then the oddball cycle when I was pg > and did not know it...then I had my tube rupture and surgery blah blah blah. > I did not ovulate until the third cycle after my ep (ep in November - no O > for Nov, Dec - O in Jan) It was slightly earlier than the O in Sept (first > month I charted) but every month after that was within a day or so of the > same point in the cycle. > > If you count the first day of your AF as day 1 (as you should), then you > bled for three weeks, off a week, then spotting for a week, you have > probably missed the window to ovulate this month and are getting ready for > another AF since you are on about day 35 of this cycle. When you say your > cycles are long...how long are they? Mine are 28-31 days (usually 28-29) > and I O on day 17-18 (so only a 10 day luteal phase). Forgive me if I am > asking you to repeat info...I lose track of who is who sometimes. > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > A shopper’s dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay! > Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time. > You never know what you might find at eBay! > http://clickhere./click/1140 > > -- Create a poll/survey for your group! > -- /vote?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2000 Report Share Posted January 6, 2000 aaaaaahhhhhhhh! Well, luck has to be with atleast one of us. I feel like we are all in this together and even one pg will be a triumph for us all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2000 Report Share Posted January 6, 2000 Sonja, Yes, the waiting is absolute torture. It's worse than when I was younger praying that AF would show up bc I had been careless. It's funny that all those years I worried about birth control and always thought I " lucked out " when AF showed up after I had been careless. It was a problem with my fertility all along - go figure. You're getting close so try to relax. I know it's a lot easier said than done. If AF doesn't show up for me next Sunday I'll test Monday the 17. Good luck and I hope the time passes quickly. Tara Re: ttc Sonja and Tara - Well, I know how you feel. The waiting is horrible. Only 9 days to go for me. Is this a stupid questions or can you do a hpt before AF is late? or isn't it sensitive enough? I need instant gratification - I hate waiting. Hang in there girls. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Looking for educational tools for you kids? Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947094768 -- Create a poll/survey for your group! -- /vote?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Looking for educational tools for you kids? Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947095159 eGroups.com Home: /group/ectopicpregnancy/ - Simplifying group communications ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Looking for educational tools for you kids? Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947168783 -- Create a poll/survey for your group! -- /vote?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2000 Report Share Posted January 6, 2000 Pam, I'm not sure because the last time he took my HCG level was a week and a half before the ultrasound and it was 1600, so if it doubles every other day it had to be around 50,000 (does that sound right?) Anyway, the day of that ultrasound he did run a progestrone test and it was low. I started the supplements that day but not until late at night(can you believe I was worried about taking them because I read everything and on the info inside it said " Do not take if you are pregnant " I called the pharm. company and everything-it was oral tablets-Prometrium 100) Anyway, I started them too late because I miscarried the next morning. This is why he said the moment I find out I'm pg again to start taking them. Dawn ttc > Dawn, > > What was your HCG when you had the u/s and saw the heart beat? Also > when I got pg I had some spotting, so my dr did an HCG and a > progesterone test. The progesterone test was low so I was put on > supplements. Of course it ended up being an ep > Pam > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Want to send money instantly to anyone, anywhere, anytime? > You can today at X.com - and we'll give you $20 to try it! Sign > up today at X.com. It's quick, free, & there's no obligation! > http://click./1/332/2/_/26068/_/947170756 > > -- Talk to your group with your own voice! > -- /VoiceChatPage?listName=ectopicpregnancy & m=1 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2000 Report Share Posted January 6, 2000 , I totally agree. The odds are just in our favor that it'll be one of us this month. It doesn't matter who, it's just time for more good news. Tara Re: ttc aaaaaahhhhhhhh! Well, luck has to be with atleast one of us. I feel like we are all in this together and even one pg will be a triumph for us all! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Looking for educational tools for you kids? Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947176937 eGroups.com Home: /group/ectopicpregnancy/ - Simplifying group communications Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2000 Report Share Posted February 3, 2000 Tara, His tentative date of departure is June 20th (2 days after 's birthday), and he will have to stay for a year. He will miss as much as 7 months of the baby's life and the pregnancy (this is assuming that this would be my month--so nothing definite). By the time he got to live with again she was 8 months old. She was so attached to me, and she had already be getting to know him again for 6 months. She would go to him, and she loved him, but she came to me anytime she was hungry, tired, cranky, or scared. And this is with her seeing him every other weekend for 6 months. I hate to even imagine what another baby would be like not meeting his father until that age. And I'm not too thrilled about having to go through a pregnancy alone. I am trying to write him a letter explaining my feelings to him, bc everytime I try to tell him anything, I stop midway through and he only hears half of the problem. This way he will read the whole thing and get everything. This has worked wonderfully at other times, and I have come to rely on it. So, I am trying it now. Maybe we can talk and come to some sort of an agreement on it. After all, it is not just me who has to handle this. It affects him also. Amy Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2000 Report Share Posted February 3, 2000 Amy - I think writing to your dh is a good idea. I cou;dn;t get frank to understand how I was feeling or what I was thinking so i asked him to read all of the posts here from the group - mine and everyone elses. It really made him realize how hard this has been on me. He was always reluctant to talk because he didn't want to upset me more than I already was - so reading for him was better. I still write things down when I am feeling really stressed or sad. Sometimes getting it out like that makes it easier to talk about at a later date. Write, talk to yourself, curse, cry get it all out! I hope I have been of some help. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2000 Report Share Posted February 3, 2000 Tara - when is AF due? We didn't ttc this month, we did have sex a few times during O (I think) so I am counting the days anyway. Even though I swore to myself that I wouldn't let it consume me. I have been much better than previous monhts though. Its just so frustrating. I signed up for a boxing class that starts tonight, so hopefully I will be able to take out some of my frustration on some poor unsuspecting classmate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2000 Report Share Posted February 3, 2000 Okay. I just read my post and my spelling and grammar in it is horrible. Sorry! Amy amadea21-@... wrote: original article:/group/ectopicpregnancy/?start=3 912 > Okay, my mood today has gone downhill. I am starting to wonder if I am doing > the right the thing by continuing to ttc. I know that it is what I want but > with my present unsure situation, I just wonder if holding off would be a > better idea. DH will miss the first months of this baby's life (how many > depending on what month I goet lucky), not to mention another year of > 's, if he does have to go to Korea. He left for basic training when > was 2 months old, and when we went to his graduation 2 months > later, she did not recognize him. It was so heart-breaking for both him and > myself. I know that she doesn't remember that, and another baby wouldn't > either. But I don't want him to have to watch his child grow up in pictures. > I know he feels the same way, but he still wants to get pg as soon as > possible. So I don't really know what to do. I am so confused. When did > having a baby get to be so hard? Oh, yeah. I remember. Right about the > time that my body decided to betray me. It was supposed to be easier than > this, wasn't it? Now on top of my messed up body, I have to sort through > what the next months have in hold for my family. This is just driving me > absolutely insane! > > Well, I'm gonna go. Thanks for letting me vent! > > Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2000 Report Share Posted February 3, 2000 Amy, You sounded so down I wanted to respond. I am so sorry that things are sucking big time for you. It makes me angry every time I think that I can't get pg again. In fact, this whole thing has put a strain on my entire life. Some days I barely have the will to get out of bed. But one thing I know, these feeling come and go, so I must learn to deal with this. As far as your dh being shipped to Korea, I can sympathize about should I/shouldn't I. Only you and dh can make that decision. How long in total would he be in Korea? How much of the baby's life would he miss out on? Believe me I can relate to this from personal experience, ie. army life and missing out on your kids. I'd love to share my own experience but it would be too long to get into here. If you want to talk more about it e-mail me at home at taraann@.... Tara Re: ttc Okay. I just read my post and my spelling and grammar in it is horrible. Sorry! Amy amadea21-@... wrote: original article:/group/ectopicpregnancy/?start=3 912 > Okay, my mood today has gone downhill. I am starting to wonder if I am doing > the right the thing by continuing to ttc. I know that it is what I want but > with my present unsure situation, I just wonder if holding off would be a > better idea. DH will miss the first months of this baby's life (how many > depending on what month I goet lucky), not to mention another year of > 's, if he does have to go to Korea. He left for basic training when > was 2 months old, and when we went to his graduation 2 months > later, she did not recognize him. It was so heart-breaking for both him and > myself. I know that she doesn't remember that, and another baby wouldn't > either. But I don't want him to have to watch his child grow up in pictures. > I know he feels the same way, but he still wants to get pg as soon as > possible. So I don't really know what to do. I am so confused. When did > having a baby get to be so hard? Oh, yeah. I remember. Right about the > time that my body decided to betray me. It was supposed to be easier than > this, wasn't it? Now on top of my messed up body, I have to sort through > what the next months have in hold for my family. This is just driving me > absolutely insane! > > Well, I'm gonna go. Thanks for letting me vent! > > Amy ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There's a place where women help each other get the most out of life! iVillage.com has expert advice about nutrition in our Never Say Diet center, a Freebies and Discounts center that has the net's best deals, and more! http://click./1/665/2/_/26068/_/949608845/ eGroups.com Home: /group/ectopicpregnancy/ - Simplifying group communications Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 4, 2000 Report Share Posted February 4, 2000 Amy, I write notes to dh any time I feel he may not listen to my whole explanation. Sometimes you need to get something out w/out being interrupted. Considering 's reaction, maybe you are better off waiting. Too bad there's no way for him to get out of it. I will be praying for you. Tara Re: ttc Tara, His tentative date of departure is June 20th (2 days after 's birthday), and he will have to stay for a year. He will miss as much as 7 months of the baby's life and the pregnancy (this is assuming that this would be my month--so nothing definite). By the time he got to live with again she was 8 months old. She was so attached to me, and she had already be getting to know him again for 6 months. She would go to him, and she loved him, but she came to me anytime she was hungry, tired, cranky, or scared. And this is with her seeing him every other weekend for 6 months. I hate to even imagine what another baby would be like not meeting his father until that age. And I'm not too thrilled about having to go through a pregnancy alone. I am trying to write him a letter explaining my feelings to him, bc everytime I try to tell him anything, I stop midway through and he only hears half of the problem. This way he will read the whole thing and get everything. This has worked wonderfully at other times, and I have come to rely on it. So, I am trying it now. Maybe we can talk and come to some sort of an agreement on it. After all, it is not just me who has to handle this. It affects him also. Amy Amy ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There's a place where women help each other get the most out of life! iVillage.com has expert advice about nutrition in our Never Say Diet center, a Freebies and Discounts center that has the net's best deals, and more! http://click./1/665/2/_/26068/_/949612314/ -- Easily schedule meetings and events using the group calendar! -- /cal?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 4, 2000 Report Share Posted February 4, 2000 , I am expecting it next Friday. However, I O later than usual so maybe AF will be late also. I too am trying not to let it take over my life. It's funny, I took the laid back approach, didn't really talk about it this month. Every other day dh is asking where we're at and if my temp spiked, etc. So I guess it's contagious. When are you due? PRetty close to me I think. Sonja is due around then also. Let's hope it's one of us this month. Tara Re: ttc Tara - when is AF due? We didn't ttc this month, we did have sex a few times during O (I think) so I am counting the days anyway. Even though I swore to myself that I wouldn't let it consume me. I have been much better than previous monhts though. Its just so frustrating. I signed up for a boxing class that starts tonight, so hopefully I will be able to take out some of my frustration on some poor unsuspecting classmate. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There's a place where women help each other get the most out of life! iVillage.com has expert advice about nutrition in our Never Say Diet center, a Freebies and Discounts center that has the net's best deals, and more! http://click./1/665/2/_/26068/_/949614696/ -- Talk to your group with your own voice! -- /VoiceChatPage?listName=ectopicpregnancy & m=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2000 Report Share Posted February 22, 2000 It is so unfair that for most people they say I am going to have a baby. And the next thing you know they are pg. For alot of us it is a chore and has become so technical. But how can it not be if you only have so many fertile days and you need to make sure you hit the right time. It gets to the point were is consumes your life. Nothing else matters. Your life is not complete without a child. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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