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When I spoke with my RE last week, he said that there were two

options for me: baby aspirin and/or Viagra. Unless he changes that

tune when I speak with him next week, I think he'll be giving me the

Viagra option. We have not made any decisions yet, but I don't think

that we will pursue the Viagra at this time. I respect the women who

are trying it and I must admit that the success story in the media is

encouraging (that " baby " is just gorgeous). For me, it's

more of an-ever deepening ache in my heart from continuing to have

empty arms. Without a child in our lives and a strong yearning for

one, I cannot justify continuing to pursue this.

My body has failed me many times in an eighteen month span and I'm

just wanting something positive, something good to result from this

horrible episode in my life. To put hope upon hope at this time is

just more than I think I can bear. To echo Gwen's thoughts, there's

a point for each of us when " enough " finally becomes " enough. "

Perhaps in a couple of years, after I'm already a mom (and the

miscarriages don't rip away my short-lived title), I'll be willing to

pursue it ALL (Viagra, injectibles, plus whatever else they have on

the market then). Also echoing Gwen's thoughts (sorry, Gwen, I just

can't come up with better words), if I'm meant to have a biological

child then I will. If I'm not meant to ever have a biological child,

then I better start thinking that the other options are just as good

or I'm looking at one unhappy bitter life!

I most certainly appreciate your interest and support. I hope my raw

feelings on this topic are not discouraging to anyone.

Ida

> Ida sorry I have deleted the email and wrote it a 5am this morning

so I will try to remember what I said.

>

> You now have a continuous lining instead of islets so this is good

news.

>

> I haven't thought about IVF yet as we haven't discussed it with my

consultant. I don't think that I really thought about it until you

mentioned it.

>

> Are you going to try the viagra? I am getting an article scanned

that was in our Sunday Paper which you might find interesting.

>

> Take care and if you need any info on viagra I will try to help.

>

>

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