Re: super parents (adoptive!!)

July 11, 2003

My CHARGEr is adopted. People are always like, wow, that's so great of you to

take this on willingly.

Okay, first of all, we wanted a child so desperately, and when they told us of

his needs, I was working at the peds hospital and in a special ed school w/a

blind girl, Mike had worked w/ a deaf guy at church, and more than anything, we

felt like this child was meant to be in our home. We prayed about it and knew he

belonged in our home. Interestingly enough, we got online when they told us

about what he had and I could not find ANYTHING on CHARGE. I think it was very

inspired because I don't think that if I had read everything that is on the

website, we would have said no, we can't handle it.

Ignorance was bliss. It was brief, but long enough that we said yes, we want

him. Mike and I teach courses on special needs adoption to future adoptive

parents. Some butthead, at the end of the presentation, said, wow, I don't envy

you, to which my witty hubby from NJ responded, " Well, I don't envy you

either!! " (sitting in those classes, waiting for a child, etc etc)

We also get comments-did the mother do drugs? So do people ask the biological

parents if they did drugs when a spec.needs child is born? DUH!!! Wow, you must

be amazing people-oh yeah, I was really amazing when my husband and I were so

stressed out that I got so pissed at him I smeared spaghetti sauce all over his

car. Do you know how many remote controls we have been thru because they've been

the object of frustration? Yeah, pretty amazing.

We do our best-adoptive or biological. Just after was born, I was

informed of a baby born w/CHARGE in CA that was placed in foster care and died

while waiting to be adopted. I CRIED SO HARD!!! I wish we had the ability to

take that baby. Even if he would've died anyway, at least he would've belonged

somewhere and to someone. Loving my son is one of the best things I can do for

him. If that is all I'm measured by than, yes, that's pretty amazing, but as

someone else stated, we are only human. I know that the Lord is aware of our

trials and our frustrations and I could not do this without His help. Anyway,

I've rambled, but yes, we can relate....

Ruth in PA

mom to (5yr CHARGEr), Mindy (2 yrs), wife to Mike

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