Re: MATCH and placebo controls <fw

[Guest guest]

Hi Kayleigh

>

> Ive decided I was beong rather a jerk over that thing on

> nlp-addict. i'm (almost)as stubborn as they are. One could

> bait them for amusement value, but apart from being a

> little immature, i guess it's cruel too. Thanks for

> talking with me abt it.

>

Hi Pete,

It is wise to remember sometimes that while you believe you are attacking a

belief system, they believe you are attacking their identity.

Regards,

Kayleigh

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[Guest guest]

Bette wrote:

> Kayleigh,

> Isn't that in large part because the belief system has *become* the identity.

> Does this mean that people should walk on eggshells, and not challenge the

> beliefs because it is taken personally? I do believe in trying to use some

> degree of tact, which is probably why I used the word challenge instead of

> attack. Nonetheless, I think if you really disagree with a belief system and

> think it can cause harm, it is, IMO, appropriate to challenge those that help

> perpetuate that system to re-evaluate their beliefs. You may get nowhere, but

> then again......who knows?

>

> Bette

>

Well, you are entirely right, the belief system has become the identity. Hence,

I think, Glenn S.'s insistence that anyone who didn't get clean in *A is not

" really " an addict.

And if you really believe that the belief system is doing harm and you have an

obligation to help change it, it is the tact that is all-important.

Confrontation simply makes people resist more.

This, I think, is the reason that there is so much " denial " among addicts --

traditional wisdom holds that they must be confronted to break down their

denial. I read a book about motivational interviewing for people with drinking

problems and the authors report almost no " denial. " After all, if someone is

seeking help for a drug problem, how bad can the denial be?

Kayleigh

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