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Hi Sonya,

My DH, , doesn't go to the OB/GYN appts with me for normal stuff just

because I usually do it over my lunch hour or something. He does go with me

though when I concerns problems with pregnancy and when I was pregnanct with

our daughter he almost always went with. I think it is perfectly fine.

Take Care,

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Jan,

I can understand that you would be pissed when they asked him to leave. It

seems that some of these people have forgotten that YOU are the patient, and

it is YOUR life they are dealing with. had a similar experience,

and I am hoping that she will share...

Take care,

Krista

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Hi you guys !!

My dh. Graham, wanted me to post this question, and asks if you would all

please take a vote, and tell me what you think.

Is it unusual for a husband to want to accompany his wife into the

gyneacologists' office ? I have to go for an appointment in 2 weeks, and

since my ep. he has always gone with me to hear first hand what the doctor

has to say. And yes, he even went in with me when the gynea. did the pap

smear. But now someone has told him that it is strange for him to go in with

me as it is a womans doctor, so he is feeling weird about coming with. do

any of your dh.'s go with you, and how do you feel about a man wanting to be

'holding your hand' while you are examined?

Please let me know either way.

Sonja

______________________________________________________

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Jan

Good for you !

Sonja

>

>Reply-To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>To: <ectopicpregnancyegroups>

>Subject: Re: take a vote

>Date: Sat, 9 Oct 1999 22:42:28 +1300

>

>I think it is ok...my husband came with me......he was really pissed when

>he

>was asked to leave.......but I insisted he stay

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>eGroups.com home: /group/ectopicpregnancy

> - Simplifying group communications

>

>

>

>

>

______________________________________________________

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Hi Sonja,

My dh went with to every doctor appt. for all 6

pregnancies. He was also with in the hospital for

every loss. The nurses told me many times how lucky I

was to have a dh who would attend every visit.

felt he should be there to hear everything the doctor

said and also hear the heartbeat, u/s, etc. I had

internals every week for most of my last pregnancy and

was there every time. I don't think your dh

should listen to what everyone is telling him. He

should do what is right for him.

Stacey G.

--- sonja kershaw wrote:

> Hi you guys !!

>

> My dh. Graham, wanted me to post this question, and

> asks if you would all

> please take a vote, and tell me what you think.

>

> Is it unusual for a husband to want to accompany his

> wife into the

> gyneacologists' office ? I have to go for an

> appointment in 2 weeks, and

> since my ep. he has always gone with me to hear

> first hand what the doctor

> has to say. And yes, he even went in with me when

> the gynea. did the pap

> smear. But now someone has told him that it is

> strange for him to go in with

> me as it is a womans doctor, so he is feeling weird

> about coming with. do

> any of your dh.'s go with you, and how do you feel

> about a man wanting to be

> 'holding your hand' while you are examined?

> Please let me know either way.

>

> Sonja

>

>

______________________________________________________

>

>

------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> eGroups.com home:

> /group/ectopicpregnancy

> - Simplifying group

> communications

>

>

>

>

>

=====

__________________________________________________

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Sonja,

My dh joined me during the HSG test. When I was examined in the er

they kicked him out. But it wouldn't have bothered me for him to be

there. He rather enjoyed watching the HSG, everything was so quick and

clear like a cartoon x-ray. But when I go for yearlys I usually am

fitting it in during lunch break. W/ the upcoming pg (notice the ++++

outlook:)), I will expect him to be there all of the way and I know he

will do it. The people who think it's strange should just MYOB.

Tara

" sonja kershaw " wrote:

original article:/group/ectopicpregnancy/?start=4

42

> Hi you guys !!

>

> My dh. Graham, wanted me to post this question, and asks if you would

all

> please take a vote, and tell me what you think.

>

> Is it unusual for a husband to want to accompany his wife into the

> gyneacologists' office ? I have to go for an appointment in 2 weeks,

and

> since my ep. he has always gone with me to hear first hand what the

doctor

> has to say. And yes, he even went in with me when the gynea. did the

pap

> smear. But now someone has told him that it is strange for him to go

in with

> me as it is a womans doctor, so he is feeling weird about coming

with. do

> any of your dh.'s go with you, and how do you feel about a man

wanting to be

> 'holding your hand' while you are examined?

> Please let me know either way.

>

> Sonja

>

> ______________________________________________________

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Sonja,

My dh did not usually go to the doc. with me unless there were problems. He

was actually in the room when they did my cryosurgery. He went with me every

time when he found out I was pregnant. He did not even leave the room when

the nurse told him he had to so she could put in the catheter. However, I

have to go see the RE and he told me he could not miss any more work. He

missed a lot during the pregnancy. He also asked me the same question about

" do all men go with their wives? " He said the doc. was just going to put me

on fert. drugs anyway. So my Mom is going with me. I think it is very

important to have someone with you so the information can be taken in by two

perspectives. I really wish my dh could go but I am thankful I do not have to

do it alone. So if your husband can go tell him I think it would be great.

Angel

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My husband does not go with me as a rule for the routine visits to the

ob/gyn, but he HAS been there with me while the doctor did an internal exam

(my post-surgery visits) and certainly for the consult when we decided to

talk with the doctor about our problems getting and staying pregnant. He

was also with me for my HSG, which involved some " internal " workings and I

would not have settled for him NOT to be there for that! As long as he is ok

with it, it does not bother me at all (not like he has never been " down

there " to see what I have) and I don't really care what the doctor

thinks...my husband has as much of a right to know what is going on with my

body as I do. I practically had to pitch a fit to get him in with me for

the HSG but woe be unto anyone that crosses me once I have made up my mind.

I think it is great that graham wants to be there with you and if others

think it is strange, they are the ones that have a prob not your DH! What

about these DHs who accompany wives to the doctor while they are pg? No

difference except there is a baby there too!

More power to ya!

Mommy to two angel babies, 7/12/97 and 11/6/98

visit our website at http://members.tripod.com/don_n_bess/memorial.html

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Ok. I did not relate this when I cast my vote but I will share now since

Krista suggested it :)

I have had several experiences where the medical staff did not want my

husband with me and I had to be ugly. The first was when I had my

miscarriage in '97. The nurse told him to leave because she was going to

put in a catheter. I said " He is staying " . She argued with me but I won

:) and she was so flustered she could not get the catheter in. She said it

was in and I said no it wasn't, it was between my butt-cheeks. She argued

with me about that too but I said " I ought to know where it is, it's my

body! " Sure enough...she had to get a clean one and start over!

While I was in the ER when they were diagnosing the ectopic, Don was not

allowed in with me most of the time, but that was a serious situation. I

was out of it, and they were really having to work on me a lot to keep me

stable, They were very good about calling him in to be with me whenever the

doctor was going to talk to us though. I know he wanted to be with me, but

I think it would have been harder for them to work, given the critical

nature of my condition. He was with me 24/7 in the hospital though and no

one said a word.

My doctor's office has never said a word about him being with me for

appointments, but if they had, I would have pressed the issue.

When I went for my HSG they did not want Don back there with me. I had to

tell the nurse three times he was coming (by then the whole waiting room was

cracking up) and she finally quit arguing. Like I said, if I have made up

my mind that something is going to happen, woe be unto the person that

crosses me. I would have walked out without the test rather than go through

it without Don being there. Like Krista said, sometimes having two sets of

eyes and ears helps you remember more later.

When it comes to our healthcare, I think we certainly have the right to

demand certain things, and having our spouse present for exams and stuff is

within our rights. If I am given a problem, I would definitely take my

business elsewhere. The only time when I feel they are within their rights

to ask a spouse to leave is when life threatening conditions exist and they

need the space to work without the distraction (as was the case with me

during my ectopic).

I will say that my DH wants to be present, and is comfortable being present.

He is a comfort to me. He is not squeamish or " jealous " , so he is not

presenting a problem to the medical staff by being there. If he did not

want to be there, I would definitely not press for his presence. That is

something to be worked out between a woman and her DH.

If you are still with me :) hope sharing this helped someone!

Mommy to two angel babies, 7/12/97 and 11/6/98

visit our website at http://members.tripod.com/don_n_bess/memorial.html

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