Guest guest Posted April 13, 2001 Report Share Posted April 13, 2001 Paris is way up in northeast Texas. It's the birthplace of Think Child Safety!!! Lance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2001 Report Share Posted April 13, 2001 It's north of hire. Maxine ----- Original Message ----- > Where is Dallas? Can somebody give me directions? > > Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2001 Report Share Posted April 13, 2001 In a message dated 4/13/01 12:26:58 PM Pacific Daylight Time, bbledsoe@... writes: << Where is Dallas? Can somebody give me directions? Thanks >> 821 South Southwest of Normal, Illinois Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2001 Report Share Posted April 13, 2001 Hmmmm. Lets see here. Last I heard it was near Ft. Worth....... as for Dallas, I think it can still be seen on TNN. Jay Help Where is Dallas? Can somebody give me directions? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2001 Report Share Posted April 13, 2001 On the same note- can anyone tell me where Paris, Texas is? I have seen all these fancy posters with Paris, Texas on um, but cant find out where it is! Jay Help Where is Dallas? Can somebody give me directions? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2001 Report Share Posted April 13, 2001 Just look for that really big tower that Monsieur Eiffel built-- Paris is near there! Brad Help > > > Where is Dallas? Can somebody give me directions? > > Thanks > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 : After over 25 years of searching, I have come to the conclusion that Dallas, the mythical golden city described to me by many self-proclaimed adventurers in bars over the years, is an urban legend. On each of my expeditions east of the fair city of Fort Worth, the real jewel of the West, I encountered not the sophisticated, urban paradise so often described to me, but instead a dirty, crowded, race-conflicted, police-corrupted, and traffic-overburdened sprawl of residences, high-rises and such. It seems apparent that the denizens of this place surreptitiously took on the name of the fabled lost City of Dallas in an effort to draw tourist trade, there being absolutely no other reason why anyone of sound mind would want to go anywhere near the place. I wish you luck in your effort to find the Lost City of Dallas. If you are successful and can bring back pictures or even a living specimen, your future is assured. Dave Help > Where is Dallas? Can somebody give me directions? > > Thanks > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2009 Report Share Posted April 5, 2009 I am feeling intense pain and anger. I cannot lash out and so I turn it inwards and it becomes depression. I cannot sleep at night and spend way too much time thinking about, writing about and talking about nada, let alone the time I spend reading about these various conditions. My husband is convinced that nada is not mentally ill but can be 'difficult'. I feel very alone when my husband cannot even be in the space where " I dont understand but I do support you " . Instead it is " I dont understand, you are wrong, you need to reconcile with your mother, you probably will " . The other argument goes " Just cut her off then. Tell her not to call or contact you, tell all the relatives you no longer communicate with her and just get on with your life " . The latter argument sounds good but in practice, having that conversation is not going to be worth much. Nada knows how to get people emotionally hooked in. Her family has that " whatever it is, she is your mother and you must communicate " attitude or they take sides and lie for her etc. I know I dont have to justify myself and have to be true to myself but I am SO ANGRY that she continues to behave like this poor, hard done by victim...it is all so subtle....today she rang the doorbell and my son answered. She had come to hand over some Christmas cake. Thank goodness she did it at the gate. Tim (my lawyer friend; see previous emails for that drama) makes these great cakes and often gives us some and he had brought some with him to the dinner they had together last night, so she had brought some round for us. Oh, how nice and normal and lovey dovey. This is why my husband sees nothing. Everything is done in the sweetest possible way until it comes to me. Is it possible that ONLY ONE PERSON can see the whole picture whilst others think she is a bit eccentric, excitable etc?? At least my cousin who lives in my city is beginning to really see aspects as I have been completely honest and confided in her completely. Nada tries to manipulate her but my version helps her see through it all. She suggested I play the tapes of nada's mean, nasty, hysterical, sobbing messages on my voicemail for my brother and uncle to hear so that they can understand what I am going through. She feels some shock therapy may get people to see. But really, from the outside looking in it looks like a daughter is accusing her mother of being mentally ill. How mean is that?? Perhaps I am trying to psychoanalyse it all too much. Perhaps it does not matter whether she is mentally ill or not. She is toxic for me and on that basis, I need to keep away. Quite frankly, I dont want my child to be alone with her and there is no one I trust who can be with him if he goes to see her without me. I should add that my nada does not have a psychologist. She sees a family physician for some medical ailments like high blood pressure and diabetes but certainly this doctor will not twig there is something going on. And I guess the trouble with mental illness is that a patient cannot be treated involuntarily. Sometimes I wish she would threaten suicide or self mutilate so that I could at least get her into the mental health care system and some real help. I could ask the psychologist I have been seeing whether he will speak to her family physician but that makes me sound crazy too!!! I am not even sure what this rant is all about.. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride and all I want to do is GET OFF!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2009 Report Share Posted April 5, 2009 (((((((())))))))) That's hard to feel so all alone, and frustrating when everyone else seems so blind when it comes to your nada. Your own psychologist, frankly, sounds pretty much useless; if your own psychologist can't see the situation from your perspective, can't see your pain and isn't helping you find ways to protect yourself from your pd mother's mentally ill and abusive behavior, then, I'd look for a new psychologist! A good therapist familiar with personality disorders would (hopefully) suggest that you and your husband come in for a few sessions so that the therapist can help your husband understand the level of emotional pain you are in, and help weld you together as a team so you can establish boundaries with your nada and enforce them as a team. That's got to be particularly hard on you if your husband isn't very supportive of your needs. To help you relieve your current pain and anger, I suggest you channel it: start writing a retro-diary. List as many memories of abuse that you can from your childhood, up to now. Concurrently, begin keeping a daily journal listing current incidents of her being manipulative, subversive, intrusive, insulting, etc. Since you are her main (if not only) target, you are going to have to provide all the evidence. And yes, your cousin is right: keep and store every voice-mail so you have hard evidence of the kinds of mean, nasty, hysterical, manipulative messages she sends you. Think of collecting incidents and evidence of just how covertly abusive your nada is, as your new hobby. Then go shopping for a new therapist/psychologist who is more attuned to your needs and your situation. *Use* your anger, girl! In this case, righteous anger is a gift, a survival mechanism, and can be a powerful tool. Use it! -Annie > > I am feeling intense pain and anger. I cannot lash out and so I turn it inwards and it becomes depression. I cannot sleep at night and spend way too much time thinking about, writing about and talking about nada, let alone the time I spend reading about these various conditions. > > My husband is convinced that nada is not mentally ill but can be 'difficult'. I feel very alone when my husband cannot even be in the space where " I dont understand but I do support you " . Instead it is " I dont understand, you are wrong, you need to reconcile with your mother, you probably will " . The other argument goes " Just cut her off then. Tell her not to call or contact you, tell all the relatives you no longer communicate with her and just get on with your life " . The latter argument sounds good but in practice, having that conversation is not going to be worth much. Nada knows how to get people emotionally hooked in. Her family has that " whatever it is, she is your mother and you must communicate " attitude or they take sides and lie for her etc. I know I dont have to justify myself and have to be true to myself but I am SO ANGRY that she continues to behave like this poor, hard done by victim...it is all so subtle....today she rang the doorbell and > my son answered. She had come to hand over some Christmas cake. Thank goodness she did it at the gate. Tim (my lawyer friend; see previous emails for that drama) makes these great cakes and often gives us some and he had brought some with him to the dinner they had together last night, so she had brought some round for us. Oh, how nice and normal and lovey dovey. This is why my husband sees nothing. Everything is done in the sweetest possible way until it comes to me. Is it possible that ONLY ONE PERSON can see the whole picture whilst others think she is a bit eccentric, excitable etc?? At least my cousin who lives in my city is beginning to really see aspects as I have been completely honest and confided in her completely. Nada tries to manipulate her but my version helps her see through it all. She suggested I play the tapes of nada's mean, nasty, hysterical, sobbing messages on my voicemail for my brother and uncle to hear so that they can > understand what I am going through. She feels some shock therapy may get people to see. > > But really, from the outside looking in it looks like a daughter is accusing her mother of being mentally ill. How mean is that?? > > Perhaps I am trying to psychoanalyse it all too much. Perhaps it does not matter whether she is mentally ill or not. She is toxic for me and on that basis, I need to keep away. Quite frankly, I dont want my child to be alone with her and there is no one I trust who can be with him if he goes to see her without me. > > I should add that my nada does not have a psychologist. She sees a family physician for some medical ailments like high blood pressure and diabetes but certainly this doctor will not twig there is something going on. And I guess the trouble with mental illness is that a patient cannot be treated involuntarily. Sometimes I wish she would threaten suicide or self mutilate so that I could at least get her into the mental health care system and some real help. I could ask the psychologist I have been seeing whether he will speak to her family physician but that makes me sound crazy too!!! > > I am not even sure what this rant is all about.. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride and all I want to do is GET OFF!! > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2009 Report Share Posted April 5, 2009 , I gave up trying to convince people what nada was like a long time ago. I know what she did to me and how she still behaves. I have dealt with it through therapy, through writing and through a lot of tears and anger. More than likely your family will not acknowledge what happened to you unless they were they experienced the same thing. Even if they did acknowledge it, it doesn't change what happened and it won't change her. Work on yourself and try to let go of the FOG (fear, obligation and guilt). The anger, insomnia and obession with your nada are all part of the healing process. With time it will subside and you will find peace. Here you will find the acknowledgement and understanding that you will probably not find anywhere else. We've been there and we know exactly what you're going through. Abby > > > > I am feeling intense pain and anger. I cannot lash out and so I turn it inwards and it becomes depression. I cannot sleep at night and spend way too much time thinking about, writing about and talking about nada, let alone the time I spend reading about these various conditions. > > > > My husband is convinced that nada is not mentally ill but can be 'difficult'. I feel very alone when my husband cannot even be in the space where " I dont understand but I do support you " . Instead it is " I dont understand, you are wrong, you need to reconcile with your mother, you probably will " . The other argument goes " Just cut her off then. Tell her not to call or contact you, tell all the relatives you no longer communicate with her and just get on with your life " . The latter argument sounds good but in practice, having that conversation is not going to be worth much. Nada knows how to get people emotionally hooked in. Her family has that " whatever it is, she is your mother and you must communicate " attitude or they take sides and lie for her etc. I know I dont have to justify myself and have to be true to myself but I am SO ANGRY that she continues to behave like this poor, hard done by victim...it is all so subtle....today she rang the doorbell and > > my son answered. She had come to hand over some Christmas cake. Thank goodness she did it at the gate. Tim (my lawyer friend; see previous emails for that drama) makes these great cakes and often gives us some and he had brought some with him to the dinner they had together last night, so she had brought some round for us. Oh, how nice and normal and lovey dovey. This is why my husband sees nothing. Everything is done in the sweetest possible way until it comes to me. Is it possible that ONLY ONE PERSON can see the whole picture whilst others think she is a bit eccentric, excitable etc?? At least my cousin who lives in my city is beginning to really see aspects as I have been completely honest and confided in her completely. Nada tries to manipulate her but my version helps her see through it all. She suggested I play the tapes of nada's mean, nasty, hysterical, sobbing messages on my voicemail for my brother and uncle to hear so that they can > > understand what I am going through. She feels some shock therapy may get people to see. > > > > But really, from the outside looking in it looks like a daughter is accusing her mother of being mentally ill. How mean is that?? > > > > Perhaps I am trying to psychoanalyse it all too much. Perhaps it does not matter whether she is mentally ill or not. She is toxic for me and on that basis, I need to keep away. Quite frankly, I dont want my child to be alone with her and there is no one I trust who can be with him if he goes to see her without me. > > > > I should add that my nada does not have a psychologist. She sees a family physician for some medical ailments like high blood pressure and diabetes but certainly this doctor will not twig there is something going on. And I guess the trouble with mental illness is that a patient cannot be treated involuntarily. Sometimes I wish she would threaten suicide or self mutilate so that I could at least get her into the mental health care system and some real help. I could ask the psychologist I have been seeing whether he will speak to her family physician but that makes me sound crazy too!!! > > > > I am not even sure what this rant is all about.. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride and all I want to do is GET OFF!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Annie & Abby Thank you so much. I really needed that validation and support. It is interesting that the two cousins I have spoken to so far within the family got it straight away. One of them told me several months ago that nada was jealous of me, long before I knew anything about BPD. It is very helpful to get this support and I am grateful to them. I needed to trust someone and obviously these people came through for me. However, no one is a psychologist and have not got any comprehension of what a PD is. I think it is hard to grasp that a mother does not unconditionally love her child. One cousin said, " Your Mum does love you, just not the way you want to be loved " and she based that on the fact that as she too has a child, she cannot imagine not loving that child unconditionally. It is hard to grasp but then she is the same cousin who said she had seen how jealous and competitive nada is with me. I also looked at excerpts from 'Children of the Self Absorbed' and am amazed at how much that resonates with me too. It is about the KO NPD parents. I have also just done something really major. I have written a lengthy letter to my brother laying all the history on the table plus current situation. He emailed me saying he had read it, it was a lot to absorb, give him some time and he would talk to me. I await the outcome of that. It was very emotional for me to write that letter because I had to go back to when I was 10 and Dad was going to leave us but did not. The excruciating fights etc.... I have made an appointment to see the psychologist that I have seen twice already. I really would like my husband to come along. It is very hard to go through this not only without his support but also with his down right antagonism towards me for not reconciling with nada. He actually suggested today that I should take Prozac because I was feeling emotional as I wrote the letter to my brother. The story goes that I am the one with the problem and so I should get help. I will give the guy one last chance. Of course, you have all said that it is hard for anyone to get this and it is so easy to say 'just reconcile' or 'just cut her off', wish it was that simple. I really thank you for your input, for reading all my posts, for your validation and support. It has helped me so much through a very difficult few weeks. Best wishes ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Monday, April 6, 2009 8:19:27 AM Subject: Re: Help , I gave up trying to convince people what nada was like a long time ago. I know what she did to me and how she still behaves. I have dealt with it through therapy, through writing and through a lot of tears and anger. More than likely your family will not acknowledge what happened to you unless they were they experienced the same thing. Even if they did acknowledge it, it doesn't change what happened and it won't change her. Work on yourself and try to let go of the FOG (fear, obligation and guilt). The anger, insomnia and obession with your nada are all part of the healing process. With time it will subside and you will find peace. Here you will find the acknowledgement and understanding that you will probably not find anywhere else. We've been there and we know exactly what you're going through. Abby > > > > I am feeling intense pain and anger. I cannot lash out and so I turn it inwards and it becomes depression. I cannot sleep at night and spend way too much time thinking about, writing about and talking about nada, let alone the time I spend reading about these various conditions. > > > > My husband is convinced that nada is not mentally ill but can be 'difficult'. I feel very alone when my husband cannot even be in the space where " I dont understand but I do support you " . Instead it is " I dont understand, you are wrong, you need to reconcile with your mother, you probably will " . The other argument goes " Just cut her off then. Tell her not to call or contact you, tell all the relatives you no longer communicate with her and just get on with your life " . The latter argument sounds good but in practice, having that conversation is not going to be worth much. Nada knows how to get people emotionally hooked in. Her family has that " whatever it is, she is your mother and you must communicate " attitude or they take sides and lie for her etc. I know I dont have to justify myself and have to be true to myself but I am SO ANGRY that she continues to behave like this poor, hard done by victim...it is all so subtle....today she rang the doorbell and > > my son answered. She had come to hand over some Christmas cake. Thank goodness she did it at the gate. Tim (my lawyer friend; see previous emails for that drama) makes these great cakes and often gives us some and he had brought some with him to the dinner they had together last night, so she had brought some round for us. Oh, how nice and normal and lovey dovey. This is why my husband sees nothing. Everything is done in the sweetest possible way until it comes to me. Is it possible that ONLY ONE PERSON can see the whole picture whilst others think she is a bit eccentric, excitable etc?? At least my cousin who lives in my city is beginning to really see aspects as I have been completely honest and confided in her completely. Nada tries to manipulate her but my version helps her see through it all. She suggested I play the tapes of nada's mean, nasty, hysterical, sobbing messages on my voicemail for my brother and uncle to hear so that they can > > understand what I am going through. She feels some shock therapy may get people to see. > > > > But really, from the outside looking in it looks like a daughter is accusing her mother of being mentally ill. How mean is that?? > > > > Perhaps I am trying to psychoanalyse it all too much. Perhaps it does not matter whether she is mentally ill or not. She is toxic for me and on that basis, I need to keep away. Quite frankly, I dont want my child to be alone with her and there is no one I trust who can be with him if he goes to see her without me. > > > > I should add that my nada does not have a psychologist. She sees a family physician for some medical ailments like high blood pressure and diabetes but certainly this doctor will not twig there is something going on. And I guess the trouble with mental illness is that a patient cannot be treated involuntarily. Sometimes I wish she would threaten suicide or self mutilate so that I could at least get her into the mental health care system and some real help. I could ask the psychologist I have been seeing whether he will speak to her family physician but that makes me sound crazy too!!! > > > > I am not even sure what this rant is all about.. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride and all I want to do is GET OFF!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.