Guest guest Posted September 4, 2009 Report Share Posted September 4, 2009 Hello JA, Don begged to go home the whole year he was in the NH. He began to accept it after six months, but would still bring it up from time to time. I didn't tell him that he couldn't do something because he couldn't reason so he couldn't understand. He gave up driving after a near accident. He looked up to see a huge SUV staring at him in his side window. When he wanted to drive, I would say I have my keys, I'll drive. He let me without a fuss. About the NH, I would tell him I was working on a way to get him home. I told him I couldn't take him out without the doctor's orders, and we would have to wait until the Doctor was there next week. The first six months he nearly drove me crazy, but he did settle down quite a bit after that. We have all learned little things to say and do to get their attention off what they wanted at that very moment. Yes, it was difficult at first. Love with a smile, Imogene Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband. Diagnosed with AD in 2005. And then, with LBD 2006. A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today. Yours Truly In a message dated 9/4/2009 11:13:45 P.M. Central Daylight Time, jgray1131@... writes: It's been a while since I've posted a message. My mother-in-law was diagnosed w/LBD in March 2009, although was showing signs for 4 years. We moved her to an assisted living facility in April 2009. She was doing well. Although, the past 3 weeks, the hallucinations and delusions have increased dramatically. She was put on Seroquel two weeks ago. It has helped her sleep through the night, but it has not helped w/her hallucinations. We are happy she is getting her rest and actually she looks much better. We are going to continue w/the Seroquel as long as she is getting her rest. She keeps telling us that she's moving back to her home soon and wants my husband to bring her car. She has not driven for 2 years and does not have a valid license. He tells her this and she says that's no big deal, I'll just go get it renewed. We have explained several times to her that she has LBD and that's why she needs to be in assisted living. She gets very angry and says she can take care of herself and is ready to go home. We also explain that she is having hallucinations and she says everyone has them. She called the police to her assisted living last night because she said a man grabbed her breast. She said she pushed the button for the attendant, but she did not come. We believe she thought she pushed the button, but did not. If she keeps doing what she's been doing, we are afraid the assisted living facility will ask us to move her. The facility had to remove a chair in her room because she was beating it with her shoe to get rid of the people who were fighting over the chair. Now she is fixated on her loveseat. This site is very supportive and I appreciate reading what other people are feeling and dealing with. Thank you. JA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2009 Report Share Posted September 4, 2009 It's been a while since I've posted a message. My mother-in-law was diagnosed w/LBD in March 2009, although was showing signs for 4 years. We moved her to an assisted living facility in April 2009. She was doing well. Although, the past 3 weeks, the hallucinations and delusions have increased dramatically. She was put on Seroquel two weeks ago. It has helped her sleep through the night, but it has not helped w/her hallucinations. We are happy she is getting her rest and actually she looks much better. We are going to continue w/the Seroquel as long as she is getting her rest. She keeps telling us that she's moving back to her home soon and wants my husband to bring her car. She has not driven for 2 years and does not have a valid license. He tells her this and she says that's no big deal, I'll just go get it renewed. We have explained several times to her that she has LBD and that's why she needs to be in assisted living. She gets very angry and says she can take care of herself and is ready to go home. We also explain that she is having hallucinations and she says everyone has them. She called the police to her assisted living last night because she said a man grabbed her breast. She said she pushed the button for the attendant, but she did not come. We believe she thought she pushed the button, but did not. If she keeps doing what she's been doing, we are afraid the assisted living facility will ask us to move her. The facility had to remove a chair in her room because she was beating it with her shoe to get rid of the people who were fighting over the chair. Now she is fixated on her loveseat. This site is very supportive and I appreciate reading what other people are feeling and dealing with. Thank you. JA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2009 Report Share Posted September 4, 2009 Imogene, Thanks for the support. We are doing the same. We tell her we are working on getting her home. We are at the point we need to tell her that as soon as the Doctors say she can go home, we will take her home. But, she is such a strong willed little 100 lb 84 year old, with a tongue that can cut you to the bone. We assume she will tell us the Drs don't know what they are talking about. But, you are so right. She has no reasoning abilities and does not understand. We just try to comfort her and stay positive. She will be very strong about going home for a few days and then she doesn't mention it for a while. We are slowly learning how to change her attention. My sister-in-law (her daughter) took her out this afternoon trying to wear her out so she would sleep well tonight. Thanks for your support. JA Subject: Re: Mother-in-law To: LBDcaregivers Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 12:39 AM Hello JA, Don begged to go home the whole year he was in the NH. He began to accept it after six months, but would still bring it up from time to time. I didn't tell him that he couldn't do something because he couldn't reason so he couldn't understand. He gave up driving after a near accident. He looked up to see a huge SUV staring at him in his side window. When he wanted to drive, I would say I have my keys, I'll drive. He let me without a fuss. About the NH, I would tell him I was working on a way to get him home. I told him I couldn't take him out without the doctor's orders, and we would have to wait until the Doctor was there next week. The first six months he nearly drove me crazy, but he did settle down quite a bit after that. We have all learned little things to say and do to get their attention off what they wanted at that very moment. Yes, it was difficult at first. Love with a smile, Imogene Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband. Diagnosed with AD in 2005. And then, with LBD 2006. A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today. Yours Truly In a message dated 9/4/2009 11:13:45 P.M. Central Daylight Time, jgray1131att (DOT) net writes: It's been a while since I've posted a message. My mother-in-law was diagnosed w/LBD in March 2009, although was showing signs for 4 years. We moved her to an assisted living facility in April 2009. She was doing well. Although, the past 3 weeks, the hallucinations and delusions have increased dramatically. She was put on Seroquel two weeks ago. It has helped her sleep through the night, but it has not helped w/her hallucinations. We are happy she is getting her rest and actually she looks much better. We are going to continue w/the Seroquel as long as she is getting her rest. She keeps telling us that she's moving back to her home soon and wants my husband to bring her car. She has not driven for 2 years and does not have a valid license. He tells her this and she says that's no big deal, I'll just go get it renewed. We have explained several times to her that she has LBD and that's why she needs to be in assisted living. She gets very angry and says she can take care of herself and is ready to go home. We also explain that she is having hallucinations and she says everyone has them. She called the police to her assisted living last night because she said a man grabbed her breast. She said she pushed the button for the attendant, but she did not come. We believe she thought she pushed the button, but did not. If she keeps doing what she's been doing, we are afraid the assisted living facility will ask us to move her. The facility had to remove a chair in her room because she was beating it with her shoe to get rid of the people who were fighting over the chair. Now she is fixated on her loveseat. This site is very supportive and I appreciate reading what other people are feeling and dealing with. Thank you. JA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 Hi JA It sounds like you have reached a point along the journey where you may have to become more creative in your reactions to your mil. Trying to explain that she has LBD and can't do as intended, like drive, won't work anymore for her. You can tell her the car is being serviced and when ready, she can get her licence. Then change the subject or divert her to something else. These little lies are sometimes necessary to keep our los calm. Sorry about the hallucinations being such a problem. I wonder if a low dose of Seroquel during the day sometime would help, especially if they tend to come about at a certain time of the day, giving it before that time. Just a thought. Good luck. > > It's been a while since I've posted a message. My mother-in-law was diagnosed w/LBD in March 2009, although was showing signs for 4 years. We moved her to an assisted living facility in April 2009. She was doing well. Although, the past 3 weeks, the hallucinations and delusions have increased dramatically. She was put on Seroquel two weeks ago. It has helped her sleep through the night, but it has not helped w/her hallucinations. We are happy she is getting her rest and actually she looks much better. We are going to continue w/the Seroquel as long as she is getting her rest. > > She keeps telling us that she's moving back to her home soon and wants my husband to bring her car. She has not driven for 2 years and does not have a valid license. He tells her this and she says that's no big deal, I'll just go get it renewed. We have explained several times to her that she has LBD and that's why she needs to be in assisted living. She gets very angry and says she can take care of herself and is ready to go home. We also explain that she is having hallucinations and she says everyone has them. She called the police to her assisted living last night because she said a man grabbed her breast. She said she pushed the button for the attendant, but she did not come. We believe she thought she pushed the button, but did not. If she keeps doing what she's been doing, we are afraid the assisted living facility will ask us to move her. The facility had to remove a chair in her room because she was beating it with her shoe to get rid of the people who were fighting over the chair. Now she is fixated on her loveseat. > > This site is very supportive and I appreciate reading what other people are feeling and dealing with. Thank you. > > JA > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 5, 2009 Report Share Posted September 5, 2009 JA, I also, wore my kids out so they would sleep. Isn't it something how our LO can be so much like a child. Yet, as you say, with a tongue that can cut like a knife. I sounds as if you all are doing a great job, and are still trying to get past the first year. If you make it that long, (grin). Don put me through a wringer. I couldn't out and out lie to him. For one thing he knew me too well. So, I fabricated enough story to make it believable sometimes. Not always. Most of the time I did tell him the truth when he asked a question out right. But, I had to do a lot of explaining and repeat it a number of times. He was very good at picking an argument. He would demand to know why I couldn't take care of him. I don't have the health. Why? Honey, just because you see me primped up and smiling and singing sometimes, that is for three hours at most, and certainly doesn't mean I can care for you. I collapse when I get back to the apartment. Remember how you used to care for me and worry about me? Well he would take care of himself, he would say. I told him, Honey, you couldn't even make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich last night. He would come back, I didn't know where everything was. So then I had to explain that if I had to get up and show him where everything was, I may as well make the sandwich myself. If I tried to change the subject, Don't try to change the subject, he would demand, which I tried to do several times during the conversation. If I got up to leave he would plead with me not to go. Sometimes I left the room at least. You talk about hard! Oh mercy. He always had a comeback for everything. Now, here I am a year older, and in worse health, and have to care for him. It has nearly sent me to the hospital, but with the caregiver now, I can almost relax. I am still having to tell her what to do, when she gets all the daily chores up to par. It isn't easy having a caregiver either. Love with a smile, Imogene Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband. Diagnosed with AD in 2005. And then, with LBD 2006. A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today. Yours Truly In a message dated 9/5/2009 12:18:54 A.M. Central Daylight Time, jgray1131@... writes: Imogene, Thanks for the support. We are doing the same. We tell her we are working on getting her home. We are at the point we need to tell her that as soon as the Doctors say she can go home, we will take her home. But, she is such a strong willed little 100 lb 84 year old, with a tongue that can cut you to the bone. We assume she will tell us the Drs don't know what they are talking about. But, you are so right. She has no reasoning abilities and does not understand. We just try to comfort her and stay positive. She will be very strong about going home for a few days and then she doesn't mention it for a while. We are slowly learning how to change her attention. My sister-in-law (her daughter) took her out this afternoon trying to wear her out so she would sleep well tonight. Thanks for your support. JA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 JA, And for others of you who are having a major change with your LO at home or in the NH. Please have them checked for a UTI. That is the first thing before new meds or anything else. Hugs, Donna R Caregiver for Mom for 3 years and 4th year in a nh. (In MI) She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine. Mother-in-law It's been a while since I've posted a message. My mother-in-law was diagnosed w/LBD in March 2009, although was showing signs for 4 years. We moved her to an assisted living facility in April 2009. She was doing well. Although, the past 3 weeks, the hallucinations and delusions have increased dramatically. She was put on Seroquel two weeks ago. It has helped her sleep through the night, but it has not helped w/her hallucinations. We are happy she is getting her rest and actually she looks much better. We are going to continue w/the Seroquel as long as she is getting her rest. She keeps telling us that she's moving back to her home soon and wants my husband to bring her car. She has not driven for 2 years and does not have a valid license. He tells her this and she says that's no big deal, I'll just go get it renewed. We have explained several times to her that she has LBD and that's why she needs to be in assisted living. She gets very angry and says she can take care of herself and is ready to go home. We also explain that she is having hallucinations and she says everyone has them. She called the police to her assisted living last night because she said a man grabbed her breast. She said she pushed the button for the attendant, but she did not come. We believe she thought she pushed the button, but did not. If she keeps doing what she's been doing, we are afraid the assisted living facility will ask us to move her. The facility had to remove a chair in her room because she was beating it with her shoe to get rid of the people who were fighting over the chair. Now she is fixated on her loveseat. This site is very supportive and I appreciate reading what other people are feeling and dealing with. Thank you. JA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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