Guest guest Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 Hi : I'm new to this group. I joined because I was diagnosed with iga-n. 2 years ago I lost my right kidney to renal cell carcinoma. I too don't feel any real symptoms other than a little slight pain every once in while but nothing bad. I live in California and I'm only 36 years old with a wife, 9 year old boy and a 6 month old boy. I'm real sorry to here your distress. I may being going through the same thing eventually but with my 2 brothers. So your not even on dialysis???? Your doctor's must believe your kidneys will fail soon and want a head start. I have a nephrologist who I call the grim reaper. He makes me feel like I'm knocking on the dialysis door. I ask him how long and he tells me a year 3 years maybe 20 but I will definitely be in dialysis. I say this only to say I hope you have a happier doctor than I. I really hope you the best. Humor is the best medicine for me to get thru the tough time. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station. The wait Hi folks, Its and my family is in bed and I was just lying there terrified. My sister had her 24 hour urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 years ago. When the sister who we think is going to transplant to me had her 24 hour done after the one who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 years ago. She told me that the test is probably buried under paperwork at her doc.s office and if my transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, then my sis says that she will call her Internest's office and light a fire under them. Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to death. I am so scared that someting will happen and we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what we are doing and the power of that gift from her is so great that I can hardly breath. Even though I am on antidepressents, I find myself crying some nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so here I am talking to you folks because I know that you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here I am feeling sorry for myself and he is having to do dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 months of all of this before we get this done. I wish we could do it tomorrow so that it would be over. The other part of the time I think " if it ain't broke, then don't fix it " . I still physically don't feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All the med.s also tell me. This feels like a bad dream that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain or anything. It is really strainge to think that if it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I would be looking at death. That too is scarey. I under stand that I had a great-great uncle who died of a kidney ailment. Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed to just talk to you folks. Do any of you get that scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is the hardest times for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 on 3/14/03 8:34 PM, smustard at smustard@... wrote: Hi folks, Its and my family is in bed and I was just lying there terrified. My sister had her 24 hour urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 years ago. When the sister who we think is going to transplant to me had her 24 hour done after the one who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 years ago. She told me that the test is probably buried under paperwork at her doc.s office and if my transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, then my sis says that she will call her Internest's office and light a fire under them. Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to death. I am so scared that someting will happen and we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what we are doing and the power of that gift from her is so great that I can hardly breath. Even though I am on antidepressents, I find myself crying some nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so here I am talking to you folks because I know that you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here I am feeling sorry for myself and he is having to do dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 months of all of this before we get this done. I wish we could do it tomorrow so that it would be over. The other part of the time I think " if it ain't broke, then don't fix it " . I still physically don't feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All the med.s also tell me. This feels like a bad dream that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain or anything. It is really strainge to think that if it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I would be looking at death. That too is scarey. I under stand that I had a great-great uncle who died of a kidney ailment. Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed to just talk to you folks. Do any of you get that scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is the hardest times for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2003 Report Share Posted March 14, 2003 , Hi, this is . Having just gone through the evaluation process for a donor about a month ago I know totally how you feel. I was very anxious each day of the evaluation process both for me and for my donor. I was scared they would find something weird wrong with me or that my 59 year old mother-in-law donor wouldn't be able to donate, but everything fell into place and we were declared perfect for each other. I know that everyone's story is different, but let me tell you that there is no need to be terrified. Whether or not you get your sister's kidney there's really no reason to be that worried. If you are approved to get her kidney then it's a wonderful gift and you'll be on your way back to a normal life again. If for some reason it's not, and it's not meant to be then let me assure you that dialysis really isn't that bad. It's more of a lifestyle change than a horrible torture like I thought it was going to be. I know how you feel thinking that nothing is really wrong and that there has to be a mistake. Even when I started dialysis I never really felt bad. I was tired a lot, but besides that I didn't feel like I was broken. Also, please don't think that death lies just beyond dialysis or transplant. Dialysis is a treatment, just like anti-biotics are a treatment for an infection. Though technically an infection could kill you it usually doesn't and anti-biotics help you to get better and stay healthy. Dialysis does the same thing, it just helps you along like any medicine. , I know that everything will work out for you, but in the mean time until you know for sure please be assured that it's not a horrible experience or a horrible life, or anything else bad that you are going towards, it's just a little life change that will be corrected for you very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Hi I think we all feel that way at times. It's a good thing to get these evaluations done before you get to the point of needing to start dialysis. That way, if all goes well, and you want to go ahead with it, everything will be ready. It can take quite a few weeks to complete a transplant evaluation, both recipient and potential donor. In my case, by the time they were ready to start evaluating me for the transplant list, my kidney function had deteriorated faster than expected at the end, and I was already on dialysis. So, it's good that yours will be done before you feel you need it. Nobody can guarantee anything. When a potential donor starts the evaluation, you just don't know what the testing will uncover. That's just the way it is. The only way to look at it is that, if you only have one single potential donor and that donor is rejected, your evaluation also gets you on the transplant waiting list. We've all heard about the long waits, but just in the time I've been going to the dialysis centre, I've seen many other patients not come back because they got that call in the middle of the night. I know quite a few who've had transplants now. All of those who've had theirs for a while say the same thing: " I didn't know how sick I was until I had the transplant. It's like a fog is lifted. Appetite comes back, energy comes back and that feeling of mental fogginess goes away " . It's important to realize that you don't " have to " have a transplant if you don't want to. It's not an obligation, and I know people who actually choose to remain on dialysis. Since you're already in the transplant " system " by virtue of being or having been evaluated, you should have access to a social worker who handles transplant cases. These people do a wonderful job in helping patients with exactly the feelings and concerns you have. But don't think you're alone. As I said, we all have the same thoughts at some point or another. Pierre The wait > Hi folks, > > Its and my family is in bed and I was just lying there terrified. My sister had her 24 hour urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 years ago. When the sister who we think is going to transplant to me had her 24 hour done after the one who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 years ago. She told me that the test is probably buried under paperwork at her doc.s office and if my transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, then my sis says that she will call her Internest's office and light a fire under them. > > Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to death. I am so scared that someting will happen and we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what we are doing and the power of that gift from her is so great that I can hardly breath. Even though I am on antidepressents, I find myself crying some nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so here I am talking to you folks because I know that you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here I am feeling sorry for myself and he is having to do dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 months of all of this before we get this done. I wish we could do it tomorrow so that it would be over. > > The other part of the time I think " if it ain't broke, then don't fix it " . I still physically don't feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All the med.s also tell me. This feels like a bad dream that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain or anything. It is really strainge to think that if it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I would be looking at death. That too is scarey. I under stand that I had a great-great uncle who died of a kidney ailment. > > Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed to just talk to you folks. Do any of you get that scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is the hardest times for me. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Thank you. I know what you mean about the Grim reeper. I used to feel that way about my Nephrologist in Columbia, SC who was a good friend of my sister who is giving my the kidney. Often when something went down, he would say, " I'll call Kitty and talk to her. " Of course I would start crying when I got to my car and dry 1/2 way home. He would call Kitty and she would in turn talk to me. He retired when I moved up her 4 years ago. When all of this came up, she called him and then called me with his home phone number. I called him and he was wonderful. He told me to keep the number and let him know what was happening. though he was the grim reeper, he was a very concerned one for which I will always have a soft place in hy heart for. The wait Hi folks, Its and my family is in bed and I was just lying there terrified. My sister had her 24 hour urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 years ago. When the sister who we think is going to transplant to me had her 24 hour done after the one who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 years ago. She told me that the test is probably buried under paperwork at her doc.s office and if my transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, then my sis says that she will call her Internest's office and light a fire under them. Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to death. I am so scared that someting will happen and we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what we are doing and the power of that gift from her is so great that I can hardly breath. Even though I am on antidepressents, I find myself crying some nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so here I am talking to you folks because I know that you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here I am feeling sorry for myself and he is having to do dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 months of all of this before we get this done. I wish we could do it tomorrow so that it would be over. The other part of the time I think " if it ain't broke, then don't fix it " . I still physically don't feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All the med.s also tell me. This feels like a bad dream that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain or anything. It is really strainge to think that if it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I would be looking at death. That too is scarey. I under stand that I had a great-great uncle who died of a kidney ailment. Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed to just talk to you folks. Do any of you get that scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is the hardest times for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Thank you so much . That helped. Please set us know how you transplant goes. I hope both of you have a very successful surgery. You know, its amazing that someone is willing to be operated on when they are perfectly healthy just for you. Those are really special people. My sister tends to be bossy and everyone in my family is waiting to see of I become more bossy. I told my mother that I was scared that it would boss me! My sister thought that was hilarious. Re: The wait , Hi, this is . Having just gone through the evaluation process for a donor about a month ago I know totally how you feel. I was very anxious each day of the evaluation process both for me and for my donor. I was scared they would find something weird wrong with me or that my 59 year old mother-in-law donor wouldn't be able to donate, but everything fell into place and we were declared perfect for each other. I know that everyone's story is different, but let me tell you that there is no need to be terrified. Whether or not you get your sister's kidney there's really no reason to be that worried. If you are approved to get her kidney then it's a wonderful gift and you'll be on your way back to a normal life again. If for some reason it's not, and it's not meant to be then let me assure you that dialysis really isn't that bad. It's more of a lifestyle change than a horrible torture like I thought it was going to be. I know how you feel thinking that nothing is really wrong and that there has to be a mistake. Even when I started dialysis I never really felt bad. I was tired a lot, but besides that I didn't feel like I was broken. Also, please don't think that death lies just beyond dialysis or transplant. Dialysis is a treatment, just like anti-biotics are a treatment for an infection. Though technically an infection could kill you it usually doesn't and anti-biotics help you to get better and stay healthy. Dialysis does the same thing, it just helps you along like any medicine. , I know that everything will work out for you, but in the mean time until you know for sure please be assured that it's not a horrible experience or a horrible life, or anything else bad that you are going towards, it's just a little life change that will be corrected for you very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Thanks Pierre, I was at a low ebb last night. And I do want the transplant! I guess I just get the " why me " thing every so often. Aren't living doners special people? There must be a special place in heaven for them. The wait > Hi folks, > > Its and my family is in bed and I was just lying there terrified. My sister had her 24 hour urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 years ago. When the sister who we think is going to transplant to me had her 24 hour done after the one who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 years ago. She told me that the test is probably buried under paperwork at her doc.s office and if my transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, then my sis says that she will call her Internest's office and light a fire under them. > > Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to death. I am so scared that someting will happen and we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what we are doing and the power of that gift from her is so great that I can hardly breath. Even though I am on antidepressents, I find myself crying some nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so here I am talking to you folks because I know that you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here I am feeling sorry for myself and he is having to do dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 months of all of this before we get this done. I wish we could do it tomorrow so that it would be over. > > The other part of the time I think " if it ain't broke, then don't fix it " . I still physically don't feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All the med.s also tell me. This feels like a bad dream that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain or anything. It is really strainge to think that if it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I would be looking at death. That too is scarey. I under stand that I had a great-great uncle who died of a kidney ailment. > > Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed to just talk to you folks. Do any of you get that scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is the hardest times for me. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Hi . I am so glad you were able to pour out your heart on your fears. I think it is perfectly normal to be apprehensive about facing a transplant. I am not to that point yet myself, but I can only imagine the mixed emotions of having a family member donating a kidney. The waiting and the unknown are the most stressful because once you know, you can deal with it, but not knowing keeps you in a state of stress doesn't it. When I lean on myself and feel apprehensive, I always try to turn to my faith and I draw so much strength from the Lord. I do believe nothing can come into my life that doesn't pass thought His hands first, and that in my weakness, His strength is made perfect, so that is how I get through those times. I just want you to know that we are all " with " you as you walk through this. You are among people that care and support you 100%. Let us know when you hear if your sister is a match! I will pray she is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 , My son had a transplant in 2001 (he was 21) and I was the donor. His kidney function had been below 20% for about a year before the transplant, but he just kept plodding on. Whenever the nephrologist would ask how he felt, he would say, ³fine, fine² and the neph. would shrug and say OK. I guess the point at which you have to start dialysis is variable depending on size, age, and how well you tolerate the effects of kidney failure. Even after he decided to go ahead with the transplant, he still kept saying he felt fine and maybe we didn¹t really need to do it yet. Finally when it was just a couple of weeks before the surgeries, he allowed himself to think about and talk about how bad he really felt, but even then he said he thought he could wait longer if necessary. (His creatinine level at that point was 8.4.) Then - - - as soon as he had the transplant, he was amazed at how much better he felt. The decline in kidney function had been so gradual that I guess he just forgot what feeling good felt like. He was full of energy and enthusiasm for life. It was hard for him not to overdo it right after the surgery, running around wanting to do things but then still needing a lot of rest because of recovering from the surgery. However, he was back in school and working part-time 4 weeks after surgery. From the donor¹s point of view, I was frustrated with all the tests. After the initial intense round of testing, then they wanted to do an ultrasound on my liver because they had found what turned out to be a benign cyst and then the anesthesiologist insisted on another echocardiogram, and it felt like they were just finding one more thing and one more thing to check on. Then when it was finally clear that I had had the last test and it was definitely a go, it was very difficult to wait for the surgery date. I just wanted to get on with it. My main worry was that somehow after all that my kidney would not work for him. I wasn¹t at all worried about pain (which wasn¹t that bad) or problems for me, just anxious about the kidney working. And it did work just fine  no problems with the surgery or recovery or immunosuppressants since then. Wishing you good luck as well - Betsy, from Colorado > Hi folks, > > Its and my family is in bed and I was just lying there terrified. My > sister had her 24 hour urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. > That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 years ago. When the > sister who we think is going to transplant to me had her 24 hour done after > the one who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 years ago. She > told me that the test is probably buried under paperwork at her doc.s office > and if my transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, then my sis > says that she will call her Internest's office and light a fire under them. > > Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to death. I am so scared that > someting will happen and we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what > we are doing and the power of that gift from her is so great that I can hardly > breath. Even though I am on antidepressents, I find myself crying some > nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so here I am talking to you > folks because I know that you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish > I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here I am feeling sorry for > myself and he is having to do dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 > months of all of this before we get this done. I wish we could do it tomorrow > so that it would be over. > > The other part of the time I think " if it ain't broke, then don't fix it " . I > still physically don't feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that > the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All the med.s also tell me. > This feels like a bad dream that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has > never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain or anything. It is > really strainge to think that if it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I > would be looking at death. That too is scarey. I under stand that I had a > great-great uncle who died of a kidney ailment. > > Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed to just talk to you folks. > Do any of you get that scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is the > hardest times for me. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Good joke AND its one I can remember. Sally UK. Re: The wait Hi : I'm new to this group. I joined because I was diagnosed with iga-n. 2 years ago I lost my right kidney to renal cell carcinoma. I too don't feel any real symptoms other than a little slight pain every once in while but nothing bad. I live in California and I'm only 36 years old with a wife, 9 year old boy and a 6 month old boy. I'm real sorry to here your distress. I may being going through the same thing eventually but with my 2 brothers. So your not even on dialysis???? Your doctor's must believe your kidneys will fail soon and want a head start. I have a nephrologist who I call the grim reaper. He makes me feel like I'm knocking on the dialysis door. I ask him how long and he tells me a year 3 years maybe 20 but I will definitely be in dialysis. I say this only to say I hope you have a happier doctor than I. I really hope you the best. Humor is the best medicine for me to get thru the tough time. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station. The wait Hi folks, Its and my family is in bed and I was just lying there terrified. My sister had her 24 hour urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 years ago. When the sister who we think is going to transplant to me had her 24 hour done after the one who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 years ago. She told me that the test is probably buried under paperwork at her doc.s office and if my transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, then my sis says that she will call her Internest's office and light a fire under them. Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to death. I am so scared that someting will happen and we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what we are doing and the power of that gift from her is so great that I can hardly breath. Even though I am on antidepressents, I find myself crying some nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so here I am talking to you folks because I know that you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here I am feeling sorry for myself and he is having to do dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 months of all of this before we get this done. I wish we could do it tomorrow so that it would be over. The other part of the time I think " if it ain't broke, then don't fix it " . I still physically don't feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All the med.s also tell me. This feels like a bad dream that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain or anything. It is really strainge to think that if it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I would be looking at death. That too is scarey. I under stand that I had a great-great uncle who died of a kidney ailment. Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed to just talk to you folks. Do any of you get that scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is the hardest times for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Thank you Betsy for those words of encouragement. Every so often I just need to vent. I know what you mean about waiting. I wish I didn't have to wait 2 whole months. It will just drag by. In the mean time, I have to go to school each day and somehow inspire the urchins at school. Re: The wait , My son had a transplant in 2001 (he was 21) and I was the donor. His kidney function had been below 20% for about a year before the transplant, but he just kept plodding on. Whenever the nephrologist would ask how he felt, he would say, ³fine, fine² and the neph. would shrug and say OK. I guess the point at which you have to start dialysis is variable depending on size, age, and how well you tolerate the effects of kidney failure. Even after he decided to go ahead with the transplant, he still kept saying he felt fine and maybe we didn¹t really need to do it yet. Finally when it was just a couple of weeks before the surgeries, he allowed himself to think about and talk about how bad he really felt, but even then he said he thought he could wait longer if necessary. (His creatinine level at that point was 8.4.) Then - - - as soon as he had the transplant, he was amazed at how much better he felt. The decline in kidney function had been so gradual that I guess he just forgot what feeling good felt like. He was full of energy and enthusiasm for life. It was hard for him not to overdo it right after the surgery, running around wanting to do things but then still needing a lot of rest because of recovering from the surgery. However, he was back in school and working part-time 4 weeks after surgery. From the donor¹s point of view, I was frustrated with all the tests. After the initial intense round of testing, then they wanted to do an ultrasound on my liver because they had found what turned out to be a benign cyst and then the anesthesiologist insisted on another echocardiogram, and it felt like they were just finding one more thing and one more thing to check on. Then when it was finally clear that I had had the last test and it was definitely a go, it was very difficult to wait for the surgery date. I just wanted to get on with it. My main worry was that somehow after all that my kidney would not work for him. I wasn¹t at all worried about pain (which wasn¹t that bad) or problems for me, just anxious about the kidney working. And it did work just fine  no problems with the surgery or recovery or immunosuppressants since then. Wishing you good luck as well - Betsy, from Colorado > Hi folks, > > Its and my family is in bed and I was just lying there terrified. My > sister had her 24 hour urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. > That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 years ago. When the > sister who we think is going to transplant to me had her 24 hour done after > the one who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 years ago. She > told me that the test is probably buried under paperwork at her doc.s office > and if my transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, then my sis > says that she will call her Internest's office and light a fire under them. > > Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to death. I am so scared that > someting will happen and we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what > we are doing and the power of that gift from her is so great that I can hardly > breath. Even though I am on antidepressents, I find myself crying some > nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so here I am talking to you > folks because I know that you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish > I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here I am feeling sorry for > myself and he is having to do dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 > months of all of this before we get this done. I wish we could do it tomorrow > so that it would be over. > > The other part of the time I think " if it ain't broke, then don't fix it " . I > still physically don't feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that > the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All the med.s also tell me. > This feels like a bad dream that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has > never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain or anything. It is > really strainge to think that if it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I > would be looking at death. That too is scarey. I under stand that I had a > great-great uncle who died of a kidney ailment. > > Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed to just talk to you folks. > Do any of you get that scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is the > hardest times for me. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2003 Report Share Posted March 15, 2003 Thank you so much for your wonderful support. My sister is a match which I have known since we started this process. Both the sisters who were tested for match matched me in 4 of the 6 areas. They matched each other exactly. There are just so many test that they do to see fi you are healthy enough to do this. Every tome we do one of those, I know that if any little thing is wrong, that is it; no kidney! I just worry. I have all of this wonderful time to do that. You gave a very Prayerful reply. Keep us all in your Prayers. Thanks and God Bless Re: The wait Hi . I am so glad you were able to pour out your heart on your fears. I think it is perfectly normal to be apprehensive about facing a transplant. I am not to that point yet myself, but I can only imagine the mixed emotions of having a family member donating a kidney. The waiting and the unknown are the most stressful because once you know, you can deal with it, but not knowing keeps you in a state of stress doesn't it. When I lean on myself and feel apprehensive, I always try to turn to my faith and I draw so much strength from the Lord. I do believe nothing can come into my life that doesn't pass thought His hands first, and that in my weakness, His strength is made perfect, so that is how I get through those times. I just want you to know that we are all " with " you as you walk through this. You are among people that care and support you 100%. Let us know when you hear if your sister is a match! I will pray she is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 17, 2003 Report Share Posted March 17, 2003 Yeah, it can get pretty scary at times. I dread that one day my kidneys may pack up. Just that my aunty died due to complications of renal failure - her kidneys packed up when she was 26, and I turn 26 in July, so it's getting a bit too scary for me too. My aunty was on dialysis for 18 years, and died at the age of 44 due to the complications. Sorry, now I'm rambling, too. Think I'd better shut up. --- smustard wrote: > Hi folks, > > Its and my family is in bed and I was just > lying there terrified. My sister had her 24 hour > urine done to see if she was OK to give me a kidney. > That is the test that knocked out my other sister 3 > years ago. When the sister who we think is going to > transplant to me had her 24 hour done after the one > who was disqualified she came out OK, but that was 3 > years ago. She told me that the test is probably > buried under paperwork at her doc.s office and if my > transplant coodinator has not recieved it by Monday, > then my sis says that she will call her Internest's > office and light a fire under them. > > Every test the 2 of us has now, just scares me to > death. I am so scared that someting will happen and > we can't do this. Then I start thinking about what > we are doing and the power of that gift from her is > so great that I can hardly breath. Even though I am > on antidepressents, I find myself crying some > nights. I hate to put all of this on my husband so > here I am talking to you folks because I know that > you, at least, know what I am talking about. I wish > I had some of the brave heart that Pierre has. Here > I am feeling sorry for myself and he is having to do > dialysis. I really really hate this. I have 2 > months of all of this before we get this done. I > wish we could do it tomorrow so that it would be > over. > > The other part of the time I think " if it ain't > broke, then don't fix it " . I still physically don't > feel that anything is wrong with me. It's just that > the numbers are saying that I am very wrong. All > the med.s also tell me. This feels like a bad dream > that I have been dreaming for 25 years. It has > never felt really real. I don't have any flank pain > or anything. It is really strainge to think that if > it weren't for dialysis or transplant, I would be > looking at death. That too is scarey. I under > stand that I had a great-great uncle who died of a > kidney ailment. > > Sorry about all of my rambling, but I really needed > to just talk to you folks. Do any of you get that > scared when you are alone with yourselves? It is > the hardest times for me. > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > http://mobile.yahoo.com.au - Yahoo! Mobile - Check & compose your email via SMS on your Telstra or Vodafone mobile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.