Re: To all , from jen....

[Guest guest]

Sweet Jen, Sure you'll be different, but that's because you'll be better than ever. I am 240 pounds, yeast, toxic silicone crap & all and I have accepted myself just the way I am. I know this is really hard. Please read Psalm 139 verses 8 - 11. It's about God and His prescence. I find it extremely comforting when I feel totally alone. I'm glad you are done with the surgery. I'm praying for you to find peace, to accept and love yourself the even more beautiful than ever woman you've now become! Please think of people like Queen Latifah, Hutton, Helen Mirren, Sophia Loren - they have flaws (weight, gap between teeth, wrinkles, age) but noone sees them. They are amongst the most beautiful women in the world! Look up the dress Gwyneth Paltrow wore at this year's s (the peach one). She has very small breasts but looks so beautiful it takes

your breath away. What I'm trying to say is true beauty comes from within. Please let your true beauty shine. I know it's in there, I can tell by the way you write your e-mails. And as always, you are in my prayers. Love from Canada, Tracijensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote: Jen here,it was all I could do to post then I lost my long note to you all.I was not able to have a enternal mastopexy at all on either of my breast.Not near enough

tissue and to much skin..........I can not rest cause every time I start to really rest my body does this tremor thing,much like the foot jerk when falling aslseep.But way worse cause it begins in my chest area and works its way through my arms and whole body. It as almost made me fall out of bed 2.And it causes me to sudden movements to protect my self from falling.but then still get hurt cause I should not be using my arms in this way.what is this?Did anyone else tremor like ths??It is really painful this close after surgery.And scary cause I am not in control at all.I am scared to see my breasts on friday..Please pray that they are not as bad as thought to be.I am praying that some of my symptoms start to fall away soon , now that those toxic bags are gone.I am having a very hard time with all of this.Help me please by praying for me.I am trying so hard not to be depressed and not to be scared.Satan is doing a

number on me and I feeling to weak to fight back.I don't want to let God down, I am trying so hard to be the woman of faith that I need to be right now .But I just can not find the fight.I know we should care less about our bodys and more about what is inside.But I have had these selfestem issuse for ever.And though I have been healed of my eating disorders I still very much have the mentality that I had back the.Have always felt as though people did not like who I was.I only ever got the you pretty compliments. Never your smart or your sweet or any thing like that.So when growing up I though that my looks were all I had.And once My looks stared to quit getting noticed I paniced. I paniced because I felt that was te only thing I had.so after my perfect kids I wanted implants to fill up the spaces nursing left behind.There is a mentality that I get that scares me.It is like a panic button goes of in side of me and I feel

like I am loosing control.I can not be that woman again the thought of hating my self again scares me to death.So that is why I am so scared of friday.Mirrors have always been my biggest enemy.How will I face one now???I know I shoud be so happy those things are gone, I know it ws what I was supposed to do do for my health.But now I am just scared of my emotions.Pray for me ..I can not be that woman again who is a slave to her mirror.Thanks to all of you who have emailed me this weekend it is all I can do right now to do this so please don't be hurt if I don't post to you one by one.I will try to post here daily.And will try to read your responces as quick as I can.God bless you Jen

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[Guest guest]

Jen, I sent this once, but I don't know if it went through. Please call me or send me you #. I am in Denver recovering from my explant as well. I have Verizon if that helps. 425-760-8241. jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote: Jen here,it was all I could do to post then I lost my long note to you all.I was not able to have a enternal mastopexy at all on either of my breast.Not near enough tissue and to much

skin..........I can not rest cause every time I start to really rest my body does this tremor thing,much like the foot jerk when falling aslseep.But way worse cause it begins in my chest area and works its way through my arms and whole body. It as almost made me fall out of bed 2.And it causes me to sudden movements to protect my self from falling.but then still get hurt cause I should not be using my arms in this way.what is this?Did anyone else tremor like ths??It is really painful this close after surgery.And scary cause I am not in control at all.I am scared to see my breasts on friday..Please pray that they are not as bad as thought to be.I am praying that some of my symptoms start to fall away soon , now that those toxic bags are gone.I am having a very hard time with all of this.Help me please by praying for me.I am trying so hard not to be depressed and not to be scared.Satan is doing a number on me and I

feeling to weak to fight back.I don't want to let God down, I am trying so hard to be the woman of faith that I need to be right now .But I just can not find the fight.I know we should care less about our bodys and more about what is inside.But I have had these selfestem issuse for ever.And though I have been healed of my eating disorders I still very much have the mentality that I had back the.Have always felt as though people did not like who I was.I only ever got the you pretty compliments. Never your smart or your sweet or any thing like that.So when growing up I though that my looks were all I had.And once My looks stared to quit getting noticed I paniced. I paniced because I felt that was te only thing I had.so after my perfect kids I wanted implants to fill up the spaces nursing left behind.There is a mentality that I get that scares me.It is like a panic button goes of in side of me and I feel like I am

loosing control.I can not be that woman again the thought of hating my self again scares me to death.So that is why I am so scared of friday.Mirrors have always been my biggest enemy.How will I face one now???I know I shoud be so happy those things are gone, I know it ws what I was supposed to do do for my health.But now I am just scared of my emotions.Pray for me ..I can not be that woman again who is a slave to her mirror.Thanks to all of you who have emailed me this weekend it is all I can do right now to do this so please don't be hurt if I don't post to you one by one.I will try to post here daily.And will try to read your responces as quick as I can.God bless you Jen

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[Guest guest]

JEN,

I will keep you in my prayers.... May God give you strength and the ability to forget all the issues of self esteem problems.... May God allow you to heal and look totally fine on Friday. God Bless You, Hang in there.....

~

P. S. I did those jerking movements, it reminded me of when you was dreaming of falling so you jerk to save yourself..... They are gone now, but I do remember getting those...AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Dear Jen, I don't know if the tremors could have anything to do with the anesthetic or not, but I know that everytime I have been under general anesthetic, it is like my body is convulsing afterwards. Uncontrollable shaking, uncontrollable teeth chattering... Was this happening in recovery?? I know you were under for quite a long time. Maybe you should call Dr. Kolb about it? Sounds dreadful and I will think positive thoughts for you that it will pass quickly!! I think you will be really pleasantly surprised on friday when you get your bandages off. I know Dr. Kolb is very good! Katy:)jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote: Jen here,it was all I could do to post then I lost my long note to you all.I was not able to have a enternal mastopexy at all on either of my breast.Not near enough tissue and to much skin..........I can not rest cause every time I start to really rest my body does this tremor thing,much like the foot jerk when falling aslseep.But way worse cause it begins in my chest area and works its way through my arms and whole body. It as almost made me fall out of bed 2.And it causes me to sudden movements to protect my self from falling.but then still get hurt cause I should not be using my arms in this way.what is this?Did anyone else tremor like ths??It is really painful this close after surgery.And scary cause I am not

in control at all.I am scared to see my breasts on friday..Please pray that they are not as bad as thought to be.I am praying that some of my symptoms start to fall away soon , now that those toxic bags are gone.I am having a very hard time with all of this.Help me please by praying for me.I am trying so hard not to be depressed and not to be scared.Satan is doing a number on me and I feeling to weak to fight back.I don't want to let God down, I am trying so hard to be the woman of faith that I need to be right now .But I just can not find the fight.I know we should care less about our bodys and more about what is inside.But I have had these selfestem issuse for ever.And though I have been healed of my eating disorders I still very much have the mentality that I had back the.Have always felt as though people did not like who I was.I only ever got the you pretty compliments. Never your smart or your sweet or any thing

like that.So when growing up I though that my looks were all I had.And once My looks stared to quit getting noticed I paniced. I paniced because I felt that was te only thing I had.so after my perfect kids I wanted implants to fill up the spaces nursing left behind.There is a mentality that I get that scares me.It is like a panic button goes of in side of me and I feel like I am loosing control.I can not be that woman again the thought of hating my self again scares me to death.So that is why I am so scared of friday.Mirrors have always been my biggest enemy.How will I face one now???I know I shoud be so happy those things are gone, I know it ws what I was supposed to do do for my health.But now I am just scared of my emotions.Pray for me ..I can not be that woman again who is a slave to her mirror.Thanks to all of you who have emailed me this weekend it is all I can do right now to do this so please don't be hurt

if I don't post to you one by one.I will try to post here daily.And will try to read your responces as quick as I can.God bless you Jen

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[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

I had those tremors when I had implants, and mine did get worse

after explant. Not sure if it was because of the anesthesia or

because surgery was rough on my body, but in time it eventually did

go away.

I was afraid to see myself in the mirror after explant, too, and I

definitely looked better than I thought I would. I didn't get a

lift, either. Within a month or two I started fluffing and after

about 4 to 6 months, I looked almost like I did before I got

implants. For the first month, I wouldn't allow myself to obsess

over the results of my surgery because I knew that things would

change and the tissues would redistribute, and figured it wasn't

worth getting upset about. I'm glad I did that because it takes

months to see what the final result really will be.

Sis

> Jen here,

> it was all I could do to post then I lost my long note to you all.

> I was not able to have a enternal mastopexy at all on either of my

> breast.Not near enough tissue and to much skin..........

> I can not rest cause every time I start to really rest my body

does

> this tremor thing,much like the foot jerk when falling aslseep.But

way

> worse cause it begins in my chest area and works its way through

my

> arms and whole body. It as almost made me fall out of bed 2.And it

> causes me to sudden movements to protect my self from falling.but

then

> still get hurt cause I should not be using my arms in this way.

> what is this?Did anyone else tremor like ths??It is really painful

> this close after surgery.And scary cause I am not in control at

all.

> I am scared to see my breasts on friday..Please pray that they are

not

> as bad as thought to be.I am praying that some of my symptoms

start to

> fall away soon , now that those toxic bags are gone.

> I am having a very hard time with all of this.Help me please by

> praying for me.I am trying so hard not to be depressed and not to

be

> scared.Satan is doing a number on me and I feeling to weak to

fight

> back.I don't want to let God down, I am trying so hard to be the

woman

> of faith that I need to be right now .But I just can not find the

> fight.I know we should care less about our bodys and more about

what

> is inside.But I have had these selfestem issuse for ever.And

though I

> have been healed of my eating disorders I still very much have the

> mentality that I had back the.Have always felt as though people

did

> not like who I was.I only ever got the you pretty compliments.

Never

> your smart or your sweet or any thing like that.So when growing up

I

> though that my looks were all I had.And once My looks stared to

quit

> getting noticed I paniced. I paniced because I felt that was te

only

> thing I had.so after my perfect kids I wanted implants to fill up

the

> spaces nursing left behind.There is a mentality that I get that

scares

> me.It is like a panic button goes of in side of me and I feel like

I

> am loosing control.I can not be that woman again the thought of

hating

> my self again scares me to death.So that is why I am so scared of

> friday.Mirrors have always been my biggest enemy.How will I face

one

> now???

> I know I shoud be so happy those things are gone, I know it ws

what I

> was supposed to do do for my health.But now I am just scared of my

> emotions.Pray for me ..I can not be that woman again who is a

slave to

> her mirror.

> Thanks to all of you who have emailed me this weekend it is all I

can

> do right now to do this so please don't be hurt if I don't post to

you

> one by one.I will try to post here daily.And will try to read your

> responces as quick as I can.

> God bless you Jen

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Now you can have a huge leap forward in email: get the new

Mail.

>

[Guest guest]

Jen, If you'll put yourself in other's people's shoes, you'd realize that they're too busy worrying about their own lives to care whether you have boobs or not . . . or what THEY look like . . . Make a list of the people you know personally . . . then try to describe how they look . . . Chances are you'll be scratching your head in short order! . . . Something I found interesting . . . They asked men who had been married a long time to describe their wives. Their descriptions more accurately described the woman they first met years ago than the way their wives looked at the present. When we meet someone, we usually give them a quick scan . . . then move onto other thoughts . .. most of our thoughts are about our own lives. When it comes down to it, we matter so little to strangers, it's

scary! When push comes to shove, it's not how you look that's important to others, it's how YOU treat THEM! Hugs and prayers, Rogene

[Guest guest]

God Bless YOU Jen ~

How are you feeling today ? Your body has been through so much, and your emotions are on a rollercoaster ride. You are a highly intelligent, beautiful woman, inside out, and as you start feeling better, and better, you will begin to love the body you are in. You are a lovely soul that is occupying a body here on earth in which lessons are being learned. I was told once by a sweet lady, that I needed to change my way of thinking and speaking about my sick body, because my body is not who I am. She told me once I realized that, and practiced the disassociation, that I would feel much better. She was right ! ! The body that I occupy is very ill. I am not ill. It is a nice concept that has helped so much.

I hope that the tremors have calmed down. When I have had difficult and lengthy surgeries, that seemed to go along with it. It should get better and better every day. My prayers are with you. God Bless you Jenn ~ DAOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

,

What a great idea..... By the way there is a lady I have been helping and she lives in Michigan.... Would you mind to slip her an e-mail for support? Her name is Vicky and her e-mail address is: varrington8888@...

I told her you was from Michigan also, she is really wanted to chat with you.... I hope you are from Michigan, my memory is still bad, so sorry if I am wrong, ahead of time.

God Bless,

~

P.S. Also Patty Rogene or anyone who can send her an invite to this group......AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Jen, I will definately pray for you, this is a struggle I remember all too well. Let me share with you how I handled it. Everytime I passed a photo frame with my implanted figure or even a mirror....I stopped and cried. I was constantly reminded how used to look and how I looked now. I ended up in a spiral of hateful feelings for myself and my situation. So during one of these episodes, I couldn't take it any longer. I just screamed at God. He reminded me of his word. "If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out." Well, I couldn't actually pluck out my eyes, but I could take out the mirrors. I ran over the whole house and packed away all pictures of me with implants (all in my house, including my wedding photos), and either covered the mirrors, or took them down. All I allowed myself to use was a compact mirror. My husband was upset when he came home, so I had to

explain to him my struggles everytime I passed a mirror or photo. He was more upset that the pictures where all put away, but he understood. I did much better after I didn't have all the reminders. I put everything back about 10 months after. Now, none of these bother me anymore. I also went to counseling sessions bi-weekly and studied God's word. Some books that really helped was As Silver Refined, by Kay Arthur and Battlefield of the Mind, by Joyce Meyer. Another thing I did was filled my time with researching health and detoxing. I tried to occupy my brain on positive issues, not on my "poor me's." I also found a lot of healing emotionally by sharing my story with anyone who would listen, somehow getting past my pride really help me put things into prospective. It is really amazing how receptive most people are and are inspired by my story to share their own self-esteem issues. I learned I was not alone

and so did they. Please focus on your healing, I will pray for you my dear. You are a brave woman. Hugs and prayers, jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote: Jen here,it was all I could do to post then I lost my long note to you all.I was not able to have a enternal mastopexy at all on either of my breast.Not near enough tissue and to much

skin..........I can not rest cause every time I start to really rest my body does this tremor thing,much like the foot jerk when falling aslseep.But way worse cause it begins in my chest area and works its way through my arms and whole body. It as almost made me fall out of bed 2.And it causes me to sudden movements to protect my self from falling.but then still get hurt cause I should not be using my arms in this way.what is this?Did anyone else tremor like ths??It is really painful this close after surgery.And scary cause I am not in control at all.I am scared to see my breasts on friday..Please pray that they are not as bad as thought to be.I am praying that some of my symptoms start to fall away soon , now that those toxic bags are gone.I am having a very hard time with all of this.Help me please by praying for me.I am trying so hard not to be depressed and not to be scared.Satan is doing a number on me and I

feeling to weak to fight back.I don't want to let God down, I am trying so hard to be the woman of faith that I need to be right now .But I just can not find the fight.I know we should care less about our bodys and more about what is inside.But I have had these selfestem issuse for ever.And though I have been healed of my eating disorders I still very much have the mentality that I had back the.Have always felt as though people did not like who I was.I only ever got the you pretty compliments. Never your smart or your sweet or any thing like that.So when growing up I though that my looks were all I had.And once My looks stared to quit getting noticed I paniced. I paniced because I felt that was te only thing I had.so after my perfect kids I wanted implants to fill up the spaces nursing left behind.There is a mentality that I get that scares me.It is like a panic button goes of in side of me and I feel like I am

loosing control.I can not be that woman again the thought of hating my self again scares me to death.So that is why I am so scared of friday.Mirrors have always been my biggest enemy.How will I face one now???I know I shoud be so happy those things are gone, I know it ws what I was supposed to do do for my health.But now I am just scared of my emotions.Pray for me ..I can not be that woman again who is a slave to her mirror.Thanks to all of you who have emailed me this weekend it is all I can do right now to do this so please don't be hurt if I don't post to you one by one.I will try to post here daily.And will try to read your responces as quick as I can.God bless you Jen-

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[Guest guest]

,

Thanks so much she is leaving this weekend to get her implants removed.... She has had them for 25 years.... Let's all keep Vicky in our prayers....... She is so wonderful and plans to join the group really soon..... So positive and is already helping other women daily.....

God Bless,

~AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

, I would love to, I know it is very helpful to meet others in your own home state. I had a chance to meet (another Saline Sister), she in fact lives walking distance from my younger sister. I will drop your friend a note today. toxicsalines@... wrote: , What a

great idea..... By the way there is a lady I have been helping and she lives in Michigan.... Would you mind to slip her an e-mail for support? Her name is Vicky and her e-mail address is: varrington8888netzero I told her you was from Michigan also, she is really wanted to chat with you.... I hope you are from Michigan, my memory is still bad, so sorry if I am wrong, ahead of time. God Bless, ~ P.S. Also Patty Rogene or anyone who can send her an invite to this group...... AOL now offers free email to everyone.

Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com. -

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