Re: Surgery (Explant and lift) is set for two weeks from tomorrow :o( UGH!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Oh Jen, I'm so happy for you. You're going to get

these horrible things removed. Please don't think you

are being a baby. My doctor said to me once that this

is normal. When someone isn't nervous that's when you

have a problem.

Now about forgiveness, the group inspired me to write

a poem which I'll post again about positivity and

taking control of my life. I hope it brings you some

comfort. Here it is:

My choice,

I always wondered why bad things happened to me,

Peace, happiness, good fortune always eluded me,

I prayed, kept the faith and listened to my inner

voice,

That is when I finally realized I have a CHOICE.

I didn't choose to have bad things happen to me and I

know I can,

CHOOSE to love and accept myself for the wonderful

person I am.

I CHOOSE to forgive myself for any past mistakes,

I CHOOSE to allow me a more compassionate person to

make.

I am a winner, I am a fighter, I am inspirational and

very loving.

I can take bad things and make into something good

coming.

If I become troubled again, I'll turn to the Lord to

guide me.

Appreciating and loving all those who walk beside me

in my life’s Journey.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'll pray for you. Just think when you are going to

Dr. Kolb's you'll still have the implants but when you

leave, you'll be leaving all the bad stuff behind.

Just look forward and never look back.

Love & hugs,

Traci

--- jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote:

> Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put two

> and two together

> two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for this

> thing.Good Kolb

> could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time I

> would back out.I

> am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> the$$$$$$Can not quit

> blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh I

> am so angry, but

> I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you

> yet , I just keep

> thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> done this to

> myself.My poor family is going to have to give up so

> much cause I

> made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> And freaked out about how I will look after

> wards.And hoping beyond

> hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> explant.Dr.Kolb said

> Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have Fibro

> M. in neck and

> shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> else out there have

> to take this???

> I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts

> out and broke out

> in tears when they told me that medicine was about

> 500$ for one

> month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it and

> Hope and pray

> God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> I had decided to only share this with 2 women from

> my church for

> prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> strange phone calls

> from people at church wanting more info.My husband

> had shared more

> then I knew and had told some of his buddies that I

> was going to

> Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor

> mills begin.I got

> a call today and was asked if I was getting a face

> lift in

> Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First of

> all ,that is

> about the only thing on my body that does NOT need

> to be lifted.What

> a joke>>LOL LOL

> Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> After surgery???

> Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out

> come??Scared that

> you might not get better??

> Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

>

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time

with the Search movie showtime shortcut.

http://tools.search./shortcuts/#news

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean about anger. I can't believe I did this to

myself!! Why didn't I do more research? What was I thinking!!

But I am also mad at the government, mad at PSs, just angry!! It

isn't healthy, I know and not helping my cause. But when I am not

mad I am so sad.

I too hope that I did not do to much damage. I pray that I caught it

soon enough... I am going on 8 years now The first 6 weren't too

bad but my health has been on a steady decline the last 2.

Good luck to you! My prayers go out to all the women on this board.

Lynn

>

> Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put two and two

together

> two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for this thing.Good Kolb

> could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time I would back

out.I

> am freaking out.I am scared and worried about the$$$$$$Can not quit

> blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh I am so angry,

but

> I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you yet , I just

keep

> thinking that I would not be here if I had never done this to

> myself.My poor family is going to have to give up so much cause I

> made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> And freaked out about how I will look after wards.And hoping beyond

> hope some of my symptoms will go away after explant.Dr.Kolb said

> Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have Fibro M. in neck and

> shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone else out there

have

> to take this???

> I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts out and broke out

> in tears when they told me that medicine was about 500$ for one

> month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it and Hope and pray

> God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> I had decided to only share this with 2 women from my church for

> prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some strange phone

calls

> from people at church wanting more info.My husband had shared more

> then I knew and had told some of his buddies that I was going to

> Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor mills begin.I

got

> a call today and was asked if I was getting a face lift in

> Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First of all ,that is

> about the only thing on my body that does NOT need to be

lifted.What

> a joke>>LOL LOL

> Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> After surgery???

> Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out come??Scared that

> you might not get better??

> Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

>

[Guest guest]

-

Traci~ Could you email your beautiful poem to me so I can keep it in

Bible??

I loved it and needed it.

God bless Jen

-- In , TM McIntosh <prowlermeow@...>

wrote:

>

> Oh Jen, I'm so happy for you. You're going to get

> these horrible things removed. Please don't think you

> are being a baby. My doctor said to me once that this

> is normal. When someone isn't nervous that's when you

> have a problem.

>

> Now about forgiveness, the group inspired me to write

> a poem which I'll post again about positivity and

> taking control of my life. I hope it brings you some

> comfort. Here it is:

>

> My choice,

>

> I always wondered why bad things happened to me,

> Peace, happiness, good fortune always eluded me,

> I prayed, kept the faith and listened to my inner

> voice,

> That is when I finally realized I have a CHOICE.

>

> I didn't choose to have bad things happen to me and I

> know I can,

> CHOOSE to love and accept myself for the wonderful

> person I am.

> I CHOOSE to forgive myself for any past mistakes,

> I CHOOSE to allow me a more compassionate person to

> make.

>

> I am a winner, I am a fighter, I am inspirational and

> very loving.

> I can take bad things and make into something good

> coming.

> If I become troubled again, I'll turn to the Lord to

> guide me.

> Appreciating and loving all those who walk beside me

> in my life's Journey.

> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

> I'll pray for you. Just think when you are going to

> Dr. Kolb's you'll still have the implants but when you

> leave, you'll be leaving all the bad stuff behind.

> Just look forward and never look back.

> Love & hugs,

> Traci

>

> --- jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote:

>

> > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put two

> > and two together

> > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for this

> > thing.Good Kolb

> > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time I

> > would back out.I

> > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh I

> > am so angry, but

> > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you

> > yet , I just keep

> > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> > done this to

> > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up so

> > much cause I

> > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > wards.And hoping beyond

> > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have Fibro

> > M. in neck and

> > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > else out there have

> > to take this???

> > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts

> > out and broke out

> > in tears when they told me that medicine was about

> > 500$ for one

> > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it and

> > Hope and pray

> > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from

> > my church for

> > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> > strange phone calls

> > from people at church wanting more info.My husband

> > had shared more

> > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that I

> > was going to

> > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor

> > mills begin.I got

> > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face

> > lift in

> > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First of

> > all ,that is

> > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need

> > to be lifted.What

> > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > After surgery???

> > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out

> > come??Scared that

> > you might not get better??

> > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

_____________________________________________________________________

_______________

> 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time

> with the Search movie showtime shortcut.

> http://tools.search./shortcuts/#news

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lynn~

Me to about the when I am not mad I am sad.But almost all of it is

wrapped up in tears.I think that my family thinks that I am losing

it.I am a bunch of emotions that I can not control.Jen

-

-- In , " spinkscl " <spinkscl@...> wrote:

>

> I know what you mean about anger. I can't believe I did this to

> myself!! Why didn't I do more research? What was I thinking!!

>

> But I am also mad at the government, mad at PSs, just angry!! It

> isn't healthy, I know and not helping my cause. But when I am not

> mad I am so sad.

>

> I too hope that I did not do to much damage. I pray that I caught

it

> soon enough... I am going on 8 years now The first 6 weren't

too

> bad but my health has been on a steady decline the last 2.

>

> Good luck to you! My prayers go out to all the women on this

board.

>

> Lynn

>

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put two and two

> together

> > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for this thing.Good

Kolb

> > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time I would back

> out.I

> > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about the$$$$$$Can not

quit

> > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh I am so angry,

> but

> > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you yet , I just

> keep

> > thinking that I would not be here if I had never done this to

> > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up so much cause

I

> > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > And freaked out about how I will look after wards.And hoping

beyond

> > hope some of my symptoms will go away after explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have Fibro M. in neck

and

> > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone else out there

> have

> > to take this???

> > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts out and broke

out

> > in tears when they told me that medicine was about 500$ for one

> > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it and Hope and

pray

> > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from my church for

> > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some strange phone

> calls

> > from people at church wanting more info.My husband had shared

more

> > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that I was going to

> > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor mills begin.I

> got

> > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face lift in

> > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First of all ,that is

> > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need to be

> lifted.What

> > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > After surgery???

> > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out come??Scared

that

> > you might not get better??

> > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lynn,

Please don't be mad at yourself. I've had mine for 20

years. When I started having problems, I was so angry

at myself too. Through the love and support of these

beautiful women, I learned to forgive myself and to

move on with my life and get these horrible implants

out of me. I am so scared but I know it's the right

thing to do.

I too was terrified of losing my husband. I then

realized, it's his problem and his choice. I spoke

very candidly with him and expressed my fears to him.

He's since come around because I said to him I need

his support for hugs and reassurement that I still am

beautiful.

I just replied to Jen's post and included a poem I

wrote entited " My Choice " . Please read it and I hope

it gives you some comfort.

Love & hugs,

Traci

--- spinkscl <spinkscl@...> wrote:

> I know what you mean about anger. I can't believe I

> did this to

> myself!! Why didn't I do more research? What was I

> thinking!!

>

> But I am also mad at the government, mad at PSs,

> just angry!! It

> isn't healthy, I know and not helping my cause. But

> when I am not

> mad I am so sad.

>

> I too hope that I did not do to much damage. I pray

> that I caught it

> soon enough... I am going on 8 years now The

> first 6 weren't too

> bad but my health has been on a steady decline the

> last 2.

>

> Good luck to you! My prayers go out to all the

> women on this board.

>

> Lynn

>

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put

> two and two

> together

> > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> this thing.Good Kolb

> > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time

> I would back

> out.I

> > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh

> I am so angry,

> but

> > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you

> yet , I just

> keep

> > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> done this to

> > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up

> so much cause I

> > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > And freaked out about how I will look after

> wards.And hoping beyond

> > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> Fibro M. in neck and

> > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> else out there

> have

> > to take this???

> > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts

> out and broke out

> > in tears when they told me that medicine was about

> 500$ for one

> > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it

> and Hope and pray

> > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from

> my church for

> > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> strange phone

> calls

> > from people at church wanting more info.My husband

> had shared more

> > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that

> I was going to

> > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor

> mills begin.I

> got

> > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face

> lift in

> > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First

> of all ,that is

> > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need

> to be

> lifted.What

> > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > After surgery???

> > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out

> come??Scared that

> > you might not get better??

> > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> >

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Never Miss an Email

Stay connected with on your mobile. Get started!

http://mobile./services?promote=mail

[Guest guest]

Traci~

When is your explant ?

I get the husband thing?And I my self had to have a talk with my man

tuesday.I told him all the things you said.It is crazy how we all

are all over the coutry yet we are not alone.And we get each other.

My husband is so focused on the money that I fear for my Marriage.

I think how ever he actually heard me the other night.He has been

trying some what to show support.It comes and goes with him.One

minute he is good (not great) next he is sarcastic distant and cold.

Not really helping my insecurities and guilt. Jen

-- In , TM McIntosh <prowlermeow@...>

wrote:

>

> Lynn,

> Please don't be mad at yourself. I've had mine for 20

> years. When I started having problems, I was so angry

> at myself too. Through the love and support of these

> beautiful women, I learned to forgive myself and to

> move on with my life and get these horrible implants

> out of me. I am so scared but I know it's the right

> thing to do.

> I too was terrified of losing my husband. I then

> realized, it's his problem and his choice. I spoke

> very candidly with him and expressed my fears to him.

> He's since come around because I said to him I need

> his support for hugs and reassurement that I still am

> beautiful.

> I just replied to Jen's post and included a poem I

> wrote entited " My Choice " . Please read it and I hope

> it gives you some comfort.

> Love & hugs,

> Traci

> --- spinkscl <spinkscl@...> wrote:

>

> > I know what you mean about anger. I can't believe I

> > did this to

> > myself!! Why didn't I do more research? What was I

> > thinking!!

> >

> > But I am also mad at the government, mad at PSs,

> > just angry!! It

> > isn't healthy, I know and not helping my cause. But

> > when I am not

> > mad I am so sad.

> >

> > I too hope that I did not do to much damage. I pray

> > that I caught it

> > soon enough... I am going on 8 years now The

> > first 6 weren't too

> > bad but my health has been on a steady decline the

> > last 2.

> >

> > Good luck to you! My prayers go out to all the

> > women on this board.

> >

> > Lynn

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > >

> > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put

> > two and two

> > together

> > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> > this thing.Good Kolb

> > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time

> > I would back

> > out.I

> > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh

> > I am so angry,

> > but

> > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you

> > yet , I just

> > keep

> > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> > done this to

> > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up

> > so much cause I

> > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > wards.And hoping beyond

> > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> > Fibro M. in neck and

> > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > else out there

> > have

> > > to take this???

> > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts

> > out and broke out

> > > in tears when they told me that medicine was about

> > 500$ for one

> > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it

> > and Hope and pray

> > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from

> > my church for

> > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> > strange phone

> > calls

> > > from people at church wanting more info.My husband

> > had shared more

> > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that

> > I was going to

> > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor

> > mills begin.I

> > got

> > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face

> > lift in

> > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First

> > of all ,that is

> > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need

> > to be

> > lifted.What

> > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > After surgery???

> > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out

> > come??Scared that

> > > you might not get better??

> > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

_____________________________________________________________________

_______________

> Never Miss an Email

> Stay connected with on your mobile. Get started!

> http://mobile./services?promote=mail

>

[Guest guest]

Jen,

Never, ever be ashamed of your tears. It only shows

your true beauty. In addition, stress must be

released somehow so tears are a good thing.

Love & hugs,

Traci

--- jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote:

> Thanks Lynn~

> Me to about the when I am not mad I am sad.But

> almost all of it is

> wrapped up in tears.I think that my family thinks

> that I am losing

> it.I am a bunch of emotions that I can not

> control.Jen

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> -

> -- In , " spinkscl "

> <spinkscl@...> wrote:

> >

> > I know what you mean about anger. I can't believe

> I did this to

> > myself!! Why didn't I do more research? What was

> I thinking!!

> >

> > But I am also mad at the government, mad at PSs,

> just angry!! It

> > isn't healthy, I know and not helping my cause.

> But when I am not

> > mad I am so sad.

> >

> > I too hope that I did not do to much damage. I

> pray that I caught

> it

> > soon enough... I am going on 8 years now The

> first 6 weren't

> too

> > bad but my health has been on a steady decline the

> last 2.

> >

> > Good luck to you! My prayers go out to all the

> women on this

> board.

> >

> > Lynn

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > >

> > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put

> two and two

> > together

> > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> this thing.Good

> Kolb

> > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore

> time I would back

> > out.I

> > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> the$$$$$$Can not

> quit

> > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame

> yourself???Oh I am so angry,

> > but

> > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of

> you yet , I just

> > keep

> > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> done this to

> > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give

> up so much cause

> I

> > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> wards.And hoping

> beyond

> > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> Fibro M. in neck

> and

> > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg

> thing.

> > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> else out there

> > have

> > > to take this???

> > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new

> Scripts out and broke

> out

> > > in tears when they told me that medicine was

> about 500$ for one

> > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it

> and Hope and

> pray

> > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > I feel like I am in a

> tornado....................

> > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women

> from my church for

> > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> strange phone

> > calls

> > > from people at church wanting more info.My

> husband had shared

> more

> > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies

> that I was going to

> > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how

> rumor mills begin.I

> > got

> > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a

> face lift in

> > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First

> of all ,that is

> > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT

> need to be

> > lifted.What

> > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > After surgery???

> > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the

> out come??Scared

> that

> > > you might not get better??

> > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > >

> >

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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[Guest guest]

Jen,

I just e-mailed it direct to your e-mail address as

per your request.

It makes me so happy that my poem gives you comfort.

I am very touched you wanted it to put in your Bible.

When I get emotional about stuff, a poem seems to pop

out.

Love & hugs,

Traci

--- jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote:

> -

> Traci~ Could you email your beautiful poem to me so

> I can keep it in

> Bible??

> I loved it and needed it.

> God bless Jen

> -- In , TM McIntosh

> <prowlermeow@...>

> wrote:

> >

> > Oh Jen, I'm so happy for you. You're going to get

> > these horrible things removed. Please don't think

> you

> > are being a baby. My doctor said to me once that

> this

> > is normal. When someone isn't nervous that's when

> you

> > have a problem.

> >

> > Now about forgiveness, the group inspired me to

> write

> > a poem which I'll post again about positivity and

> > taking control of my life. I hope it brings you

> some

> > comfort. Here it is:

> >

> > My choice,

> >

> > I always wondered why bad things happened to me,

> > Peace, happiness, good fortune always eluded me,

> > I prayed, kept the faith and listened to my inner

> > voice,

> > That is when I finally realized I have a CHOICE.

> >

> > I didn't choose to have bad things happen to me

> and I

> > know I can,

> > CHOOSE to love and accept myself for the wonderful

> > person I am.

> > I CHOOSE to forgive myself for any past mistakes,

> > I CHOOSE to allow me a more compassionate person

> to

> > make.

> >

> > I am a winner, I am a fighter, I am inspirational

> and

> > very loving.

> > I can take bad things and make into something good

> > coming.

> > If I become troubled again, I'll turn to the Lord

> to

> > guide me.

> > Appreciating and loving all those who walk beside

> me

> > in my life's Journey.

> >

> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

> > I'll pray for you. Just think when you are going

> to

> > Dr. Kolb's you'll still have the implants but when

> you

> > leave, you'll be leaving all the bad stuff behind.

>

> > Just look forward and never look back.

> > Love & hugs,

> > Traci

> >

> > --- jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote:

> >

> > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put

> two

> > > and two together

> > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> this

> > > thing.Good Kolb

> > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore

> time I

> > > would back out.I

> > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame

> yourself???Oh I

> > > am so angry, but

> > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of

> you

> > > yet , I just keep

> > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> > > done this to

> > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give

> up so

> > > much cause I

> > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > > wards.And hoping beyond

> > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> Fibro

> > > M. in neck and

> > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg

> thing.

> > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > > else out there have

> > > to take this???

> > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new

> Scripts

> > > out and broke out

> > > in tears when they told me that medicine was

> about

> > > 500$ for one

> > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it

> and

> > > Hope and pray

> > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > I feel like I am in a

> tornado....................

> > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women

> from

> > > my church for

> > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> > > strange phone calls

> > > from people at church wanting more info.My

> husband

> > > had shared more

> > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies

> that I

> > > was going to

> > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how

> rumor

> > > mills begin.I got

> > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a

> face

> > > lift in

> > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First

> of

> > > all ,that is

> > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT

> need

> > > to be lifted.What

> > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > After surgery???

> > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the

> out

> > > come??Scared that

> > > you might not get better??

> > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

_____________________________________________________________________

> _______________

> > 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time

> > with the Search movie showtime shortcut.

> > http://tools.search./shortcuts/#news

> >

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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[Guest guest]

Oh I cry so many nights too. My poor husband! He is very supportive

but I am a train wreck.

I am so happy to hear you have an appointment set and you are getting

ready to get them out.

I myself can't wait until they are gone. I plan to get a lift as

well. I figure I can fool the people I work with using a water bra

or those gelly fake boobs that go in the bra Hey, I stuffed

before I go the implants, I can do it again or I might just tell them

I got a reduction. Who knows? It is really nobody's business - but

I know I will get asked.

> > >

> > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put two and two

> > together

> > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for this thing.Good

> Kolb

> > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time I would back

> > out.I

> > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about the$$$$$$Can not

> quit

> > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh I am so

angry,

> > but

> > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you yet , I just

> > keep

> > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never done this to

> > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up so much cause

> I

> > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > And freaked out about how I will look after wards.And hoping

> beyond

> > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after explant.Dr.Kolb

said

> > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have Fibro M. in neck

> and

> > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone else out there

> > have

> > > to take this???

> > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts out and broke

> out

> > > in tears when they told me that medicine was about 500$ for one

> > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it and Hope and

> pray

> > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from my church

for

> > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some strange phone

> > calls

> > > from people at church wanting more info.My husband had shared

> more

> > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that I was going

to

> > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor mills

begin.I

> > got

> > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face lift in

> > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First of all ,that

is

> > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need to be

> > lifted.What

> > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > After surgery???

> > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out come??Scared

> that

> > > you might not get better??

> > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

The poem is just wonderful Traci, thank you for sharing it.

I think my husband is just scared about the money. We don't have

$9000+ and he doesn't know where we will get it. I don't know

either.

I know he realizes how sick I have been. He has been so helpful

around the house with chores and such.

> > >

> > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put

> > two and two

> > together

> > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> > this thing.Good Kolb

> > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time

> > I would back

> > out.I

> > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh

> > I am so angry,

> > but

> > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you

> > yet , I just

> > keep

> > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> > done this to

> > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up

> > so much cause I

> > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > wards.And hoping beyond

> > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> > Fibro M. in neck and

> > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > else out there

> > have

> > > to take this???

> > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts

> > out and broke out

> > > in tears when they told me that medicine was about

> > 500$ for one

> > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it

> > and Hope and pray

> > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from

> > my church for

> > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> > strange phone

> > calls

> > > from people at church wanting more info.My husband

> > had shared more

> > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that

> > I was going to

> > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor

> > mills begin.I

> > got

> > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face

> > lift in

> > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First

> > of all ,that is

> > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need

> > to be

> > lifted.What

> > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > After surgery???

> > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out

> > come??Scared that

> > > you might not get better??

> > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

______________________________________________________________________

______________

> Never Miss an Email

> Stay connected with on your mobile. Get started!

> http://mobile./services?promote=mail

>

[Guest guest]

Jen,

I'm up here in Toronto, Canada. My consult isn't

until March 13th and that's when an explant date will

be set. Because it's the Canadian healthcare system,

we often have long waiting times for surgery so it

could take up to a year.

I'm glad I could help with the Husband thing because

I've had huge ones with mine. Since I've changed my

approach with him without accusation or blame he's

really come around.

My Hubby can get pretty neurotic about money. I just

put on my Husband-deafness and get on with it. I tell

him I know he's a logical person so I automatically

assumed he was okay with whatever I needed to spend

money on.

I've really been fearing for my marriage too but I

came to the point where I asked him, " do you want the

job or not? " If you do, these are the behaviour

modifications we need to do to make our life happier.

A very dear friend of mine said about my Husband, the

sarcasm and insecurities are his problem and for me

not to take them on. My friend is a smart person.

As another friend says to me (she's closer to me than

a sister), we just gotta " keep on truckin' " .

Love & hugs,

Traci

--- jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote:

> Traci~

> When is your explant ?

> I get the husband thing?And I my self had to have a

> talk with my man

> tuesday.I told him all the things you said.It is

> crazy how we all

> are all over the coutry yet we are not alone.And we

> get each other.

> My husband is so focused on the money that I fear

> for my Marriage.

> I think how ever he actually heard me the other

> night.He has been

> trying some what to show support.It comes and goes

> with him.One

> minute he is good (not great) next he is sarcastic

> distant and cold.

> Not really helping my insecurities and guilt. Jen

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> -- In , TM McIntosh

> <prowlermeow@...>

> wrote:

> >

> > Lynn,

> > Please don't be mad at yourself. I've had mine

> for 20

> > years. When I started having problems, I was so

> angry

> > at myself too. Through the love and support of

> these

> > beautiful women, I learned to forgive myself and

> to

> > move on with my life and get these horrible

> implants

> > out of me. I am so scared but I know it's the

> right

> > thing to do.

> > I too was terrified of losing my husband. I then

> > realized, it's his problem and his choice. I

> spoke

> > very candidly with him and expressed my fears to

> him.

> > He's since come around because I said to him I

> need

> > his support for hugs and reassurement that I still

> am

> > beautiful.

> > I just replied to Jen's post and included a poem I

> > wrote entited " My Choice " . Please read it and I

> hope

> > it gives you some comfort.

> > Love & hugs,

> > Traci

> > --- spinkscl <spinkscl@...> wrote:

> >

> > > I know what you mean about anger. I can't

> believe I

> > > did this to

> > > myself!! Why didn't I do more research? What

> was I

> > > thinking!!

> > >

> > > But I am also mad at the government, mad at PSs,

> > > just angry!! It

> > > isn't healthy, I know and not helping my cause.

> But

> > > when I am not

> > > mad I am so sad.

> > >

> > > I too hope that I did not do to much damage. I

> pray

> > > that I caught it

> > > soon enough... I am going on 8 years now

> The

> > > first 6 weren't too

> > > bad but my health has been on a steady decline

> the

> > > last 2.

> > >

> > > Good luck to you! My prayers go out to all the

> > > women on this board.

> > >

> > > Lynn

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > >

> > > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only

> put

> > > two and two

> > > together

> > > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> > > this thing.Good Kolb

> > > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore

> time

> > > I would back

> > > out.I

> > > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame

> yourself???Oh

> > > I am so angry,

> > > but

> > > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of

> you

> > > yet , I just

> > > keep

> > > > thinking that I would not be here if I had

> never

> > > done this to

> > > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give

> up

> > > so much cause I

> > > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > > wards.And hoping beyond

> > > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> > > Fibro M. in neck and

> > > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg

> thing.

> > > > Put me on this anti Fungal

> meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > > else out there

> > > have

> > > > to take this???

> > > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new

> Scripts

> > > out and broke out

> > > > in tears when they told me that medicine was

> about

> > > 500$ for one

> > > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of

> it

> > > and Hope and pray

> > > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > > I feel like I am in a

> tornado....................

> > > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women

> from

> > > my church for

> > > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had

> some

> > > strange phone

> > > calls

> > > > from people at church wanting more info.My

> husband

> > > had shared more

> > > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies

> that

> > > I was going to

> > > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how

> rumor

> > > mills begin.I

> > > got

> > > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a

> face

> > > lift in

> > > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some

> time.First

> > > of all ,that is

> > > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT

> need

> > > to be

> > > lifted.What

> > > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > > Any way Did anyone do the

> Painpump????Striker???

> > > > After surgery???

> > > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the

> out

> > > come??Scared that

> > > > you might not get better??

> > > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

=== message truncated ===

________________________________________________________________________________\

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[Guest guest]

Lynn,

He really loves you and that's wonderful! Just as

long as the two of you stick together, things will

work out.

Love & hugs,

Traci

--- spinkscl <spinkscl@...> wrote:

> The poem is just wonderful Traci, thank you for

> sharing it.

>

> I think my husband is just scared about the money.

> We don't have

> $9000+ and he doesn't know where we will get it. I

> don't know

> either.

>

> I know he realizes how sick I have been. He has

> been so helpful

> around the house with chores and such.

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only

> put

> > > two and two

> > > together

> > > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> > > this thing.Good Kolb

> > > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore

> time

> > > I would back

> > > out.I

> > > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame

> yourself???Oh

> > > I am so angry,

> > > but

> > > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of

> you

> > > yet , I just

> > > keep

> > > > thinking that I would not be here if I had

> never

> > > done this to

> > > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give

> up

> > > so much cause I

> > > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > > wards.And hoping beyond

> > > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> > > Fibro M. in neck and

> > > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg

> thing.

> > > > Put me on this anti Fungal

> meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > > else out there

> > > have

> > > > to take this???

> > > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new

> Scripts

> > > out and broke out

> > > > in tears when they told me that medicine was

> about

> > > 500$ for one

> > > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of

> it

> > > and Hope and pray

> > > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > > I feel like I am in a

> tornado....................

> > > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women

> from

> > > my church for

> > > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had

> some

> > > strange phone

> > > calls

> > > > from people at church wanting more info.My

> husband

> > > had shared more

> > > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies

> that

> > > I was going to

> > > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how

> rumor

> > > mills begin.I

> > > got

> > > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a

> face

> > > lift in

> > > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some

> time.First

> > > of all ,that is

> > > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT

> need

> > > to be

> > > lifted.What

> > > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > > Any way Did anyone do the

> Painpump????Striker???

> > > > After surgery???

> > > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the

> out

> > > come??Scared that

> > > > you might not get better??

> > > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

______________________________________________________________________

> ______________

> > Never Miss an Email

> > Stay connected with on your mobile.

> Get started!

> > http://mobile./services?promote=mail

> >

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

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[Guest guest]

Lynn, If/when you use those fake boobs . . . don't put silicone next to the skin . .. Skin absorbs some of the materials - and I'd bet they aren't any more careful about fake boobs than they are about breast implants (more fake boobs). Most women, even though they are still sick, feel relieved when they finally understand there is reason WHY they are sick! . . . It's not in your head . . . And you should begin getting much better soon . . . Soooooo . . if you can find a place to put your mind when you're feeling stressed, you can take a huge burden off yourself - mentally and physically. This will allow your body to use its energy for healing. Hugs, Rogene

[Guest guest]

TRACI~

My bible keeps many sepcial things in it that Lift me up.

Thanks!!Jen

> > >

> > > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put

> > two

> > > > and two together

> > > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> > this

> > > > thing.Good Kolb

> > > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore

> > time I

> > > > would back out.I

> > > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > > > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame

> > yourself???Oh I

> > > > am so angry, but

> > > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of

> > you

> > > > yet , I just keep

> > > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> > > > done this to

> > > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give

> > up so

> > > > much cause I

> > > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > > > wards.And hoping beyond

> > > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > > > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> > Fibro

> > > > M. in neck and

> > > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg

> > thing.

> > > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > > > else out there have

> > > > to take this???

> > > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new

> > Scripts

> > > > out and broke out

> > > > in tears when they told me that medicine was

> > about

> > > > 500$ for one

> > > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it

> > and

> > > > Hope and pray

> > > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > > I feel like I am in a

> > tornado....................

> > > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women

> > from

> > > > my church for

> > > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> > > > strange phone calls

> > > > from people at church wanting more info.My

> > husband

> > > > had shared more

> > > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies

> > that I

> > > > was going to

> > > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how

> > rumor

> > > > mills begin.I got

> > > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a

> > face

> > > > lift in

> > > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First

> > of

> > > > all ,that is

> > > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT

> > need

> > > > to be lifted.What

> > > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > > After surgery???

> > > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the

> > out

> > > > come??Scared that

> > > > you might not get better??

> > > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

_____________________________________________________________________

> > _______________

> > > 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time

> > > with the Search movie showtime shortcut.

> > > http://tools.search./shortcuts/#news

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

_____________________________________________________________________

_______________

> Don't pick lemons.

> See all the new 2007 cars at Autos.

> http://autos./new_cars.html

>

[Guest guest]

Jen . . . Guys are "fixers" . .. Most of them see themselves as being able to take care of their wives . . . protect them, support them, etc. . .When faced with a situation where they have no control, they tend to act like that! Rogenejensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote: Traci~When is your explant ?I get the husband thing?And I my self had to have a talk with my man tuesday.I told him all the things you said.It is crazy how we all

are all over the coutry yet we are not alone.And we get each other.My husband is so focused on the money that I fear for my Marriage.I think how ever he actually heard me the other night.He has been trying some what to show support.It comes and goes with him.One minute he is good (not great) next he is sarcastic distant and cold.Not really helping my insecurities and guilt. Jen-- In , TM McIntosh <prowlermeow@...> wrote:>> Lynn,> Please don't be mad at yourself. I've had mine for 20> years. When I started having problems, I was so angry> at myself too. Through the love and support of these> beautiful women, I learned to forgive myself and to> move on with my life and get these horrible implants> out of me. I am so scared but I know it's the right> thing to do.> I too

was terrified of losing my husband. I then> realized, it's his problem and his choice. I spoke> very candidly with him and expressed my fears to him. > He's since come around because I said to him I need> his support for hugs and reassurement that I still am> beautiful.> I just replied to Jen's post and included a poem I> wrote entited "My Choice". Please read it and I hope> it gives you some comfort.> Love & hugs,> Traci> --- spinkscl <spinkscl@...> wrote:> > > I know what you mean about anger. I can't believe I> > did this to > > myself!! Why didn't I do more research? What was I> > thinking!! > > > > But I am also mad at the government, mad at PSs,> > just angry!! It > > isn't healthy, I know and not helping my cause. But> > when I am not > > mad I am so sad. > >

> > I too hope that I did not do to much damage. I pray> > that I caught it > > soon enough... I am going on 8 years now The> > first 6 weren't too > > bad but my health has been on a steady decline the> > last 2.> > > > Good luck to you! My prayers go out to all the> > women on this board.> > > > Lynn> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put> > two and two > > together > > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for> > this thing.Good Kolb > > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time>

> I would back > > out.I > > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about> > the$$$$$$Can not quit > > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh> > I am so angry, > > but > > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you> > yet , I just > > keep > > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never> > done this to > > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up> > so much cause I > > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.> > > And freaked out about how I will look after> > wards.And hoping beyond > > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after> > explant.Dr.Kolb said > > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have> > Fibro M. in neck and > > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg

thing.> > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone> > else out there > > have > > > to take this???> > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts> > out and broke out > > > in tears when they told me that medicine was about> > 500$ for one > > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it> > and Hope and pray > > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.> > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??> > > I feel like I am in a tornado....................> > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from> > my church for > > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some> > strange phone > > calls > > > from people at church wanting more info.My husband> > had shared more > > > then

I knew and had told some of his buddies that> > I was going to > > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor> > mills begin.I > > got > > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face> > lift in > > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First> > of all ,that is > > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need> > to be > > lifted.What > > > a joke>>LOL LOL > > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???> > > After surgery???> > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out> > come??Scared that > > > you might not get better??> > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen> > >> > > > > > > > > > >

_________________________________________________________________________> Never Miss an Email> Stay connected with on your mobile. Get started!> http://mobile./services?promote=mail>

[Guest guest]

Lynn~ My man is very freked about the$ 10,400.00 is what Dr.Kolb

said. We have no clue How we are going to swing this.Jen

-

-- In , " spinkscl " <spinkscl@...> wrote:

>

> The poem is just wonderful Traci, thank you for sharing it.

>

> I think my husband is just scared about the money. We don't have

> $9000+ and he doesn't know where we will get it. I don't know

> either.

>

> I know he realizes how sick I have been. He has been so helpful

> around the house with chores and such.

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put

> > > two and two

> > > together

> > > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> > > this thing.Good Kolb

> > > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time

> > > I would back

> > > out.I

> > > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh

> > > I am so angry,

> > > but

> > > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you

> > > yet , I just

> > > keep

> > > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> > > done this to

> > > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up

> > > so much cause I

> > > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > > wards.And hoping beyond

> > > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> > > Fibro M. in neck and

> > > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > > else out there

> > > have

> > > > to take this???

> > > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts

> > > out and broke out

> > > > in tears when they told me that medicine was about

> > > 500$ for one

> > > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it

> > > and Hope and pray

> > > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from

> > > my church for

> > > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> > > strange phone

> > > calls

> > > > from people at church wanting more info.My husband

> > > had shared more

> > > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that

> > > I was going to

> > > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor

> > > mills begin.I

> > > got

> > > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face

> > > lift in

> > > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First

> > > of all ,that is

> > > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need

> > > to be

> > > lifted.What

> > > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > > After surgery???

> > > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out

> > > come??Scared that

> > > > you might not get better??

> > > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

_____________________________________________________________________

_

> ______________

> > Never Miss an Email

> > Stay connected with on your mobile. Get started!

> > http://mobile./services?promote=mail

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jen, It's OK to cry . . . You have a lot to cry over . . . You've lost a big chunk of your life to those toxic bags . . . you, and all the other women, don't deserve to be treated like this so some unscrupulous jerk can line his pocket. The good news is that you should be feeling much better soon . . . And your family will begin to understand what you've been through. Your hubby will come around too. You'll get there! Hugs and prayers, Rogene

[Guest guest]

Good point about the fake gel boobs bra implants!

I do feel relief in knowning in my own mind/heart that this is the

cause of my declining health. I don't care what the doctors tell me,

I know my body - I live with my body everyday, 24/7! What I am

trying to say is that my doctors can't find a cause but they won't

allow the cause to be the implants.

Coming here and talking to all you wonderful, inspiring, caring and

VERY intelligent women has made me feel so much better mentally.

They pysical will have to wait a few months

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom!

>

> Lynn,

>

> If/when you use those fake boobs . . . don't put silicone next to

the skin . .. Skin absorbs some of the materials - and I'd bet they

aren't any more careful about fake boobs than they are about breast

implants (more fake boobs).

>

> Most women, even though they are still sick, feel relieved when

they finally understand there is reason WHY they are sick! . . . It's

not in your head . . . And you should begin getting much better

soon . . .

>

> Soooooo . . if you can find a place to put your mind when

you're feeling stressed, you can take a huge burden off yourself -

mentally and physically. This will allow your body to use its energy

for healing.

>

> Hugs,

>

> Rogene

>

[Guest guest]

-Hey Rogene~

nice to hear from you.I have missed you:o)

You were one of the very first to bless me here>>>

Thanks for all your in put.Jen

-- In , Rogene S <saxony01@...> wrote:

>

> Jen . . .

>

> Guys are " fixers " . .. Most of them see themselves as being able

to take care of their wives . . . protect them, support them,

etc. . .When faced with a situation where they have no control, they

tend to act like that!

>

> Rogene

>

> jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote:

> Traci~

> When is your explant ?

> I get the husband thing?And I my self had to have a talk with my

man

> tuesday.I told him all the things you said.It is crazy how we all

> are all over the coutry yet we are not alone.And we get each other.

> My husband is so focused on the money that I fear for my Marriage.

> I think how ever he actually heard me the other night.He has been

> trying some what to show support.It comes and goes with him.One

> minute he is good (not great) next he is sarcastic distant and

cold.

> Not really helping my insecurities and guilt. Jen

>

> -- In , TM McIntosh <prowlermeow@>

> wrote:

> >

> > Lynn,

> > Please don't be mad at yourself. I've had mine for 20

> > years. When I started having problems, I was so angry

> > at myself too. Through the love and support of these

> > beautiful women, I learned to forgive myself and to

> > move on with my life and get these horrible implants

> > out of me. I am so scared but I know it's the right

> > thing to do.

> > I too was terrified of losing my husband. I then

> > realized, it's his problem and his choice. I spoke

> > very candidly with him and expressed my fears to him.

> > He's since come around because I said to him I need

> > his support for hugs and reassurement that I still am

> > beautiful.

> > I just replied to Jen's post and included a poem I

> > wrote entited " My Choice " . Please read it and I hope

> > it gives you some comfort.

> > Love & hugs,

> > Traci

> > --- spinkscl <spinkscl@> wrote:

> >

> > > I know what you mean about anger. I can't believe I

> > > did this to

> > > myself!! Why didn't I do more research? What was I

> > > thinking!!

> > >

> > > But I am also mad at the government, mad at PSs,

> > > just angry!! It

> > > isn't healthy, I know and not helping my cause. But

> > > when I am not

> > > mad I am so sad.

> > >

> > > I too hope that I did not do to much damage. I pray

> > > that I caught it

> > > soon enough... I am going on 8 years now The

> > > first 6 weren't too

> > > bad but my health has been on a steady decline the

> > > last 2.

> > >

> > > Good luck to you! My prayers go out to all the

> > > women on this board.

> > >

> > > Lynn

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > >

> > > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put

> > > two and two

> > > together

> > > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for

> > > this thing.Good Kolb

> > > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time

> > > I would back

> > > out.I

> > > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about

> > > the$$$$$$Can not quit

> > > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh

> > > I am so angry,

> > > but

> > > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you

> > > yet , I just

> > > keep

> > > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never

> > > done this to

> > > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up

> > > so much cause I

> > > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > > And freaked out about how I will look after

> > > wards.And hoping beyond

> > > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after

> > > explant.Dr.Kolb said

> > > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have

> > > Fibro M. in neck and

> > > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone

> > > else out there

> > > have

> > > > to take this???

> > > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts

> > > out and broke out

> > > > in tears when they told me that medicine was about

> > > 500$ for one

> > > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it

> > > and Hope and pray

> > > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from

> > > my church for

> > > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some

> > > strange phone

> > > calls

> > > > from people at church wanting more info.My husband

> > > had shared more

> > > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that

> > > I was going to

> > > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor

> > > mills begin.I

> > > got

> > > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face

> > > lift in

> > > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First

> > > of all ,that is

> > > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need

> > > to be

> > > lifted.What

> > > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > > After surgery???

> > > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out

> > > come??Scared that

> > > > you might not get better??

> > > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> __________________________________________________________

> _______________

> > Never Miss an Email

> > Stay connected with on your mobile. Get started!

> > http://mobile./services?promote=mail

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jen, Women have managed to get the money in amazing ways! . . . Your health is worth way more than $10,400 . . . Staying sick will cost a lot more than that! We'll keep you in our prayers. Rogene

[Guest guest]

Thanks please do pray!!!!!

-- In , Rogene S <saxony01@...> wrote:

>

> Jen,

>

> Women have managed to get the money in amazing ways! . . . Your

health is worth way more than $10,400 . . . Staying sick will cost a

lot more than that!

>

> We'll keep you in our prayers.

>

> Rogene

>

[Guest guest]

Jen, Eating fresh, raw, crushed garlic (as many as 12 cloves a day), taking Fungal Defense (I think they have a powder version), avoiding all sugar and refined grains, processed foods, avoiding all silicone/silica/silicone dioxide in products, and eating really, really healthy will go a long way in accomplishing what antifungal prescription meds are supposed to do. The prescriptions will give you a jump start in the meantime. . . Also . .. when you go to fill a prescription, ask the pharmacist for the generic . . . My docs always prescribes the name brand . . . the pharmacist always fills it with a generic - because that's what insurance covers. Be sure to ask the pharmacist if there is any silicone/silica/silicone dioxide in the meds. . . . (Ladies, Dr. Kolb believes Jen is hypersensitive to silicone). It's a bummer when you find out people are talking

about your medical issues! . . . However, you can make this one heck of a learning experience for everyone who will listen by telling them about the dangers of breast implants. Hugs, Rogene

[Guest guest]

Jen,

I understand what you are going through. I went to Dr Kolb for my

explant. My surgery was 8+ hours for the explant, lift and removal

of lymph nodes in both arm pits full of silicone. I was a mess. The

pain pump was fantastic. My surgery was on a Monday morning, I was

in bed for most of the week but showered with help from hubby on

Friday for my follow up with Kolb. Went to my niece's wedding on

Saturday with drains still in! I had those implants for 18 years,

they had this fuzzy coated shell so that they would adhere to the

muscle better...Dr Kolb said they were the worst kind. Terrific, huh?

Anyway, you ARE in good hands with her. She understands the

problems, and she truly cares about each and every one of her

patients. Just a note, I had gone to my implanting surgeon before

for a consult...he said he would explant and lift me in an hour and a

half...I knew better. Dr Kolb did not miss anything. I feel alot

better but still have some detoxing to do. I also went home after

that full day of surgery. How long will you be in Atlanta? Are you

bringing your girls with you for the trip this time too?

Marsha

> > >

> > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put two and two

> > together

> > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for this thing.Good

> Kolb

> > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time I would back

> > out.I

> > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about the$$$$$$Can not

> quit

> > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh I am so

angry,

> > but

> > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you yet , I just

> > keep

> > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never done this to

> > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up so much cause

> I

> > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > And freaked out about how I will look after wards.And hoping

> beyond

> > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after explant.Dr.Kolb

said

> > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have Fibro M. in neck

> and

> > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone else out there

> > have

> > > to take this???

> > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts out and broke

> out

> > > in tears when they told me that medicine was about 500$ for one

> > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it and Hope and

> pray

> > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from my church

for

> > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some strange phone

> > calls

> > > from people at church wanting more info.My husband had shared

> more

> > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that I was going

to

> > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor mills

begin.I

> > got

> > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face lift in

> > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First of all ,that

is

> > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need to be

> > lifted.What

> > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > After surgery???

> > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out come??Scared

> that

> > > you might not get better??

> > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Marsha~

Yes I am bringing the girls again on this trip as well.

As I see it it will teach them to pray more:o)

And it will show them I am ok.Also they can love on me some...

I don't think I would have it anyother way.I am a homeschool mom and

spend all my time with my girls.It would be harder without them.Plus

they can keep my husband in check>..LOLI just plan on going

thursaday15th , 16th and come home on 17th and back in a week to

remove drains.I hate Atlanta!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am the only one who knows

how to drive in the city and my man will have to do it all.I would

love to go shopping , but this is not that kind of trip:o(

Oh well some other time way in the future , cause this is going to

likely break us for a very long time.....JEN

> > > >

> > > > Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put two and two

> > > together

> > > > two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for this

thing.Good

> > Kolb

> > > > could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time I would

back

> > > out.I

> > > > am freaking out.I am scared and worried about the$$$$$$Can

not

> > quit

> > > > blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh I am so

> angry,

> > > but

> > > > I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you yet , I

just

> > > keep

> > > > thinking that I would not be here if I had never done this

to

> > > > myself.My poor family is going to have to give up so much

cause

> > I

> > > > made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> > > > And freaked out about how I will look after wards.And hoping

> > beyond

> > > > hope some of my symptoms will go away after explant.Dr.Kolb

> said

> > > > Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have Fibro M. in

neck

> > and

> > > > shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> > > > Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone else out

there

> > > have

> > > > to take this???

> > > > I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts out and

broke

> > out

> > > > in tears when they told me that medicine was about 500$ for

one

> > > > month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it and Hope and

> > pray

> > > > God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> > > > Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> > > > I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> > > > I had decided to only share this with 2 women from my church

> for

> > > > prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some strange

phone

> > > calls

> > > > from people at church wanting more info.My husband had

shared

> > more

> > > > then I knew and had told some of his buddies that I was

going

> to

> > > > Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor mills

> begin.I

> > > got

> > > > a call today and was asked if I was getting a face lift in

> > > > Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First of

all ,that

> is

> > > > about the only thing on my body that does NOT need to be

> > > lifted.What

> > > > a joke>>LOL LOL

> > > > Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> > > > After surgery???

> > > > Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out come??

Scared

> > that

> > > > you might not get better??

> > > > Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

~~

Hey! Thanks for your letter.I too, am begining to think just coming

clean might be the way to go.I think once I get over the guilt that

I might be able to talk more freely about what is going on.With

others who don't have a clue.It is different with all of you, you

get it.You don't blame me and you see my fears with out telling me

that I am being silly.

I always am blessed by your Posts to me .Thanks so much.JEN

-- In , Lamse

<wannabe_proverbs31@...> wrote:

>

> Oh Jen,

>

> You would not believe how I blamed myself. I met my hubby with

implants and now he had to financially take care of this horrible

decision. We ate up my kids college funds to pay for everything and

to keep us afloat since I have not been able to work for almost two

years. The self guilt thing was eating me alive. Like I have

stated before the best thing I did was go to a counselor at church

to help me deal with all the issues. She helped me deal with guilt,

anger, frustration, shame, and may more feelings I didn't know I

had. I was so angry at myself, God, life, the situation, Satan, and

everybody who ever told me I was " a pirates dream " ......(bad joke I

heard alot as a teen) I started seeing the counselor when I was

still implanted, and continued for almost 10 months post. If you

cannot afford a counselor find a trusted friend or spiritual

advisor, they will be able to help you work through your feelings

alot better then we can.

>

> As far as the rumor mill goes, I decided to just come clean with

everybody. Almost everybody in my life didn't even know I had

implants so it was very difficult for me at first to explain how and

why I was so sick. I decided to stop living in shame, and be

upfront, who knows who will benefit from my story. I even shared my

implant issue in front of my whole church...about 4 thousand faces.

I can now share my story much easier, however I do find it harder

for people to believe me since the FDA passed the new silicone gel

implants. I am not suggesting that you go up on stage in your

church sanctuary and reveal all...but all I am saying is there is

freedom in telling the truth.

>

> Hugs and Prayers,

>

>

>

> jensbugaboos <jensbugaboos@...> wrote:

> Okay Guys this is moving really fast.I only put two and

two together

> two weeks ago today.And now I am preparing for this thing.Good

Kolb

> could get me in so soon ,I am afraid anymore time I would back

out.I

> am freaking out.I am scared and worried about the$$$$$$Can not

quit

> blaming myself.Did any of you blame yourself???Oh I am so angry,

but

> I am angry at myself.I am not like the rest of you yet , I just

keep

> thinking that I would not be here if I had never done this to

> myself.My poor family is going to have to give up so much cause I

> made this really dumb choice 7 years ago.

> And freaked out about how I will look after wards.And hoping

beyond

> hope some of my symptoms will go away after explant.Dr.Kolb said

> Tuesday she thought that I probably might Have Fibro M. in neck

and

> shoulders.I always thought that to be a Leg thing.

> Put me on this anti Fungal meds.Sporanox??Anyone else out there

have

> to take this???

> I was at walmart yesterday to fill my new Scripts out and broke

out

> in tears when they told me that medicine was about 500$ for one

> month.OH BOY!!!!SO I only filled one week of it and Hope and pray

> God will provide weekly for the rest of it.

> Was anyone else as freaked out as I am??

> I feel like I am in a tornado....................

> I had decided to only share this with 2 women from my church for

> prayer support.But the last 2 days have had some strange phone

calls

> from people at church wanting more info.My husband had shared more

> then I knew and had told some of his buddies that I was going to

> Atlanta for a Doc. apt.and well you know how rumor mills begin.I

got

> a call today and was asked if I was getting a face lift in

> Atlanta..OH people drive me nuts some time.First of all ,that is

> about the only thing on my body that does NOT need to be

lifted.What

> a joke>>LOL LOL

> Any way Did anyone do the Painpump????Striker???

> After surgery???

> Were you all scared to do this??scared of the out come??Scared

that

> you might not get better??

> Am I the only Baby here??? Jen

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

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