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Normi

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Hey, girl, how's the job?

I have been reading about your pre-work color blindness; I came to

work Monday morning with my bangs curled, but not poofed out. I

looked like a freak LOL. One curl turned up, one turned down . . .

Luckily I had hairspray and a comb under the sink.

We have been adjusting for a while, pre lupus DX, because my foot pain

has limited me for a long time. The real blowup just occurred. Now

he's off the couch and we are speaking so I guess what we needed to

say was said and he is trying to do better. I am, too. He kept

telling me it was " ok " and he understood from the beginning, and I was

freaking out a little at first; I thought he was taking it too well,

you know? We didn't think I HAD anything, I just had sore feet LOL. .

.. .

I guess I should have been more watchful of his feelings. It took him

a whole month to cry when his mom passed six months after we were

married. They weren't close, but he had met her and spent some time

with her. I knew he took that too well, too. Then later, another bad

thing happened in his life and it triggered all that he had kept in

about his mom. He just holds stuff in too much, but I hear that's

common among men LOL.

I know you have going through a rough time with your relationship

lately, and I am so sorry to hear of it. I think you are a neat

person, and you keep me laughing all the time. I imagine you must be

twice as wonderful in person; maybe he just can't see how wonderful

you are. If he can't, then it's his problem. My husband has been my

best friend (at least the only best friend I have that sees me naked

LOL), but life is making us change. I read a book once called

" Intimate Issues " ; it was about relationships and it's a christian

book. We weren't having problems then, but I could see how it would

help someone who is having them but willing to try to fix it. When I

first read about your problems, I was compelled to ask you if you

wanted it, but I just was a little too shy to ask. I have it at home,

and if you want to read it I would love to send it to you. I know a

book can't fix a marriage, people have to fix marriages. I got some

good ideas from it on making mine better and I have re read passages

in it recently to help us with this lupus stuff. I would love for you

to have it if you are interested.

Take care and don't work too hard!

Love,

Maggie

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