You're Not Hungry, But You Crave A Treat: Find Out Why!

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You're Not Hungry, But You Crave A Treat: Find Out Why!

- October 5, 2000

An eDiets.com Exclusive

by Abramson, Ph.D.

Have you ever wondered why eating your favorite treat is so important? You

know that it isn't on your diet so you're going to punish yourself and feel

guilty later. You're probably not hungry when you eat it. You may have

finished dinner, but you feel the urge to have the treat anyway.

If you think back to some of the snacking you've done, you might recognize

that you ate your " guilty pleasure " so fast that you didn't really enjoy the

taste. So if you know you shouldn't eat it, you're not physically hungry,

and you might not even enjoy it, why is it so important to have that treat?

What causes the craving, the sense of urgency that takes over and won't quit

until it's been satisfied?

For many women (some men too), the rich forbidden food serves as a

" consolation prize " that compensates for a more meaningful type of

gratification. One pattern occurs when there is a lack of intimacy in a

relationship.

Suzanne, a 43-year-old teacher and mother of two, is a good example of how

this type of eating works. She described her relationship to her husband

Dave as " empty. " He was a compulsive gambler and, over several years, had

become increasingly secretive as he tried to hide his gambling from her.

Gradually feeling his withdrawal, Suzanne compensated by using food for

consolation.

In one session she told me that she had gone to see the card dealer at the

card room Dave frequented. The dealer seemed sympathetic and concerned when

she asked him not to accept any post-dated checks from Dave. She appreciated

his understanding response. During the next week she started to have

romantic fantasies about the card dealer, and without trying, lost five

pounds. Apparently, feeling understood and having a romantic fantasy

decreased Suzanne's need to console herself with food.

The next week she met the card dealer again. Only this time he didn't seem

as appealing. Suzanne started to feel the urge to snack again, but when she

recognized that some of her eating was to compensate for the lack of

intimacy in her life, the urgency decreased.

How can you tell if you're using food as a consolation prize? If you're

about to eat a forbidden treat because you haven't eaten for a while, you

could substitute a less rich food to satisfy your physical hunger. If you

want to enjoy the taste of the special treat, make sure you really enjoy the

experience. Don't sneak or gobble standing in front of the refrigerator. Sit

down and savor the experience; you'll feel satisfied with a smaller portion.

But if you're not physically hungry, and you're not really enjoying the

food, stop and ask yourself, " What do I want from this food? What am I

missing? How is it going to make me feel better? " When you can answer these

questions, you might find that having the snack isn't so important after

all.

Abramson, Ph.D. is a Professor of Psychology at California State

University, Chico, and has been a licensed clinical psychologist for more

than 25 years. He is the author of three books -- including To Have and To

Hold and Emotional Eating -- and more than 25 scientific articles and

chapters on obesity, eating disorders and dieting. To visit his website,

click here. http://www.jps.net/abramson/

Dianne

163/138

" The weakest among us can become some kind of an athlete,

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