Guest guest Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 That is great! Yes, the Do Not Engage has worked wonders for me. For those of you with children, I treat my nada just as I trated my son when he was an unruly toddler. There is no reasoning with Toddlers. They have a tantrum, throw things bite things, scream at the top of their lungs, etc. Sound familiar? So, I realized if I just apply the same ignore the tantrum until it is over approach to my nada...she does not have anything to grasp onto in raging at me and it eventually fizzles out and it is not fun for them anymore so they go off to engage with someone else. Also try imagining a BIG BANDAID on their forehead because of the illness. It will crack you up inside but also help with the compassion aspect. Perhaps you are right.... They can't argue with that one can they?? We of course know that they are not right but try convincing them of that and you are going down a slippery slope of frustration and anger. Peace, Dorian > I am using " you are right " frequently when talking to nada on the > phone; and I really like the advice of Do Not Engage. > > Today nada asked about my health, I stated I was fine. I told her I > take medicine for my asthma. > > Nada stated that I have probably had asthma for a long time. > > I stated that I had probably had asthma even as a child (in her > neglectful care) > > Nada stated > > (and I lve this) > > You probably had a lot of things wrong with you as a child that I did > not know about. > > You are right nada, I had a lot of things as a child you did not know > about. > > Chung ching > > I know it was NOT " I did not know about " ; it was I did not recognize, > refused to see blah blah blah. > > Small victory for me > > However nada sensed something was off and started an attack via > extensive questioning about the medication I take. > > (nada is extremely proud that she takes no medicine ---- although > this ia a lie because several times she has let slip that she takes > this or that that doctor INSISTED she take. Nada would use any > information about my medication to insert into her conversations with > others that I am on medication and she does not take any. Blah blah > blah. > > At one point I stated, I don't understand why you need this > information, nada stated she was just asking a simple question. > > Lord, deliver me. > > Blessings to all, mg > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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