Re: i got a horible surprise last night

[Guest guest]

don't be sorry for venting--i totally understand. i have a husband who

loves me, but has a real hard time with the fibro stuff because he wants to

fix me and he can't. sometimes he wants what is best for me, but other

times i get the sense that he wants to fix me so that i can function better

and then the house won't be so messy, dinner will always be on the

table...Because he can't fix me, he hangs onto ideas such as---well, if you

exercise and eat right and lose weight, then you will feel better. which

can very well be true, but i just want him to love and accept me right now

as I am. it is very uncomfortable for people to think that we might have

this fibro. thing for a long time and there is not much that the doctors can

do to fix it at this time. I get so many comments from good meaning people

about " surely there are drugs that can make you feel better " ...It is also

really hard for people to understand that we feel crummy when we look so

normal.

I am thinking about writing out a daily symptom chart that i can fill out

and put on my husbands dresser each day, so that in the evening when he gets

home from work, he can read about all the symptoms i had that day. then he

won't have to wonder why i didn't get much done during the day. i am tired

of feeling like i have to justify what i do or do not get done in a day. i

have 8 boys, homeschool 5 of them and the preschooler in the mix---keeping

the house cleaned and meals on the table are not always happening these

days. Although the boys are learning to cook and bake and clean, they still

need me to push and prod them along the way---many times i just don't have

the physical or mental energy to do so.

hope you don't mind that i just joined your venting session with my own!

nne

>

>

> so tuesday night i started a video diary telling the truth of how it is for

> me well my mother in law she called us and told us to stop over to pick up

> some stuff on our way home from the city. well we got there and like 2 min

> later my parents walked in. and they all wanted to talk to me about what was

> on the video. they said that they didnt know that things were so bad. I mean

> HELLO i went from being a very very active young person to cant move from

> the couch let me see oh yeah i chose this no its not because im really

> really sick from some horible disease called fibro .

>

> they wouldnt even let me talk and they were offened they they didnt know

> how bad things were and they were mad that i had tim hortons hot chocolate

> cause that could set me back

>

> ahhh im soo mad and hurt. my husband knows every thing and was very mad at

> thenm too but was so hurt by what they did he couldnt talk to me about it

> and they werent criticizing him!

>

> my step dad said you need an accountability person to keep you no what ever

> you are supposed to do ect but wouldnt listen to the fact that bee says to

> go slow .

>

> they wouldnt let me talk they didnt really care they all just want to look

> good to others for taking care of me but dont really want to do what we need

> when we ask.

>

> like for christmas they all want to know what we want and we said new

> healthy cook ware and they ignore that and keep asking like i didnt tall

> them or say is nt there any thing else

>

> no! i want my health iand this is one way you selfish people can hel is

> what i want to say.

> i guess i have learned that ill just keep my mouth shut and ignor all of

> them

>

> the thing that was really upsetting is that they felt they had to do this

> in an intervention type way. why couldnt they say uhey we need to talk. bc

> they were only thinkingabout what they wanted not that the fact that all

> that stress would not be good for me

>

> sorry for venting

>

> meagan

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