Re: i just have to vent...

[Guest guest]

Dear Spiritsarina, I hope the roller coaster becomes a little smoother

than now, but dear I'm afraid it won't. I hear you about your husband being on

disability.

Mine had his second by pass surgery and couldn't do the math at work so

had to go on disability. I too had to go on disability, with several

ailments, with Chronic Eosenophilia Pneumonia being on the top of my list of

ailments.

We had to sell our house, and move into a travel trailer to avoid loosing

the equity we had in the house. We had a lovely swimming pool. I gave all

my nice furniture to my children. It was hard, but it had to be done.

At that time we had two hundred thousand in medical bills. Later it became

three hundred thousand. We wrote letters to everyone and told them what we

could pay, and faithfully did as we said. We saved our good name, had no

marks against us on our credit rating. Eventually, we paid off the medical

bills. We had no other bills. I hate credit cards with a passion, and didn't

use them so I was off the hook with that. After four years we got a little

house.

Anyway, All this was going on and my husband was getting sicker. I was the

caregiver, and I had poor health and was aging. The roller coaster didn't

get easier. Finally my husband's daughter came to visit and told him he

could go to the NH where she has been a nurse for twenty years.

The problem with that is that it was seventy miles away. He went through

Hell the first six months, and so did I from our having to be apart. I

finally found a two room apartment a half mile from him. My granddaughter is

living in our house.

Why this whole story about our lives? So that those of you that are

struggling with

all the ramifications that go along with this terrible illness can see

their way out and save their necks in the process if possible.

If just one of the things (an idea) in my story helps someone then it has

been worth sharing. There is a lot more that goes on with having an ill

mate than just the illness or just being the caregiver. There are all the

meals, laundry, keeping the yard done, having repairs done, going to a doctor

three times a week, buy groceries, and the never ending pile of bills. And

all of this is left to the mate alone. It felt almost like I was going under

from the stress, but we made it this far, and we'll keep on keeping on.

I am sure that is what you are doing. Sometimes things happen that are

beyond our control, and we have to accept that. Like placing Don in the

nursing home. I had to accept it, or kill myself trying to do it all.

I hope something positive happens for you so that your stress is less.

Sometime miracles do happen, like my being relieved of Don's personal care,

but it was replaced with a lot of pain for both of us.

Dear, may you have the strength to bear up, and find solutions that will

benefit everyone.

Love with a smile,

Imogene

Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband. Diagnosed with AD in 2005.

And then, with LBD 2006.

A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today.

Yours Truly

In a message dated 6/13/2009 10:48:28 A.M. Central Daylight Time,

spiritsariana@... writes:

After months of planning, my Dad went to visit his sister in Florida. My

niece, a CNA, travelled down with him and so far, he is as lucid as can be!!

But prior to that, I picked him up at the nursing home at the crack of

dawn to drive to the airport. I found him unshaven, hair straight up, one sock

on, teds stockings but one was upside down cutting off his circulation and

his foot was red!!!, stained shirt. I had the nurse look at the foot and

if we didn't decide to have him wear clogs to lessen confusion of shoes off

and on at the airport, we would have missed the ted stocking cutting into

his leg like that. Then to top it off, he had an accident at the airport and

that was when we found he wasn't briefed either! I was livid. So after a 2

hour drive back home from the airport. I went and filed a written

complaint at the nursing home. On the flip side, he is doing extremely well so

far

on the visit. He has 3 more days to go and unfortunately has to come back

to that. I wish his end of life could be one incredible, happy vacation.

Then I feel guilty because I have a husband on disability and if I don't work,

we all lose out. So thats my story and I am sticking to it. Thank you for

letting me vent!

**************A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy

steps!

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222377049x1201454365/aol?redir=http://\

[Guest guest]

I Love you too, Lin.

Love with a smile,

Imogene

Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband. Diagnosed with AD in 2005.

And then, with LBD 2006.

A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today.

Yours Truly

In a message dated 6/13/2009 4:10:45 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

lprattbethany@... writes:

Dearest Imogene -

You have helped many folks here with your honesty and directness. You help

us keep our sanity and remind us we can get through what seems like the

worst life can hand us.

Thank you so much for being here with us!

Love,

Lin

**************A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy

steps!

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222377049x1201454365/aol?redir=http://\

[Guest guest]

Dearest Imogene -

 

You have helped many folks here with your honesty and directness. You help us

keep our sanity and remind us we can get through what seems like the worst life

can hand us.

 

Thank you so much for being here with us!

 

Love,

 

Lin

Subject: Re: i just have to vent...

To: LBDcaregivers

Date: Saturday, June 13, 2009, 3:50 PM

Dear Spiritsarina, I hope the roller coaster becomes a little  smoother

than now, but dear I'm afraid it won't. I hear you about your husband  being on

disability.

Mine had his second by pass surgery and couldn't do the math at  work so

had to go on disability. I too had to go on disability, with several 

ailments, with Chronic Eosenophilia Pneumonia being on the top of my  list of

ailments. 

We had to sell our house, and move into a travel trailer to avoid  loosing

the equity we had in the house. We had  a lovely swimming pool. I  gave all

my nice furniture to my children. It was hard, but it had to be done.

At that time we had two hundred thousand in medical bills. Later it  became

three hundred thousand. We wrote letters to everyone and told them what  we

could pay, and faithfully did as we said. We saved our good name, had no 

marks against us on our credit rating. Eventually, we paid off the medical 

bills. We had no other bills. I hate credit cards with a passion, and didn't

use  them so I was off the hook with that. After four years we got a little 

house.

Anyway, All this was going on and my husband was getting sicker. I  was the

caregiver, and I had poor health and was aging. The roller coaster  didn't

get easier. Finally my husband's daughter came to visit and told him he 

could go to the NH where she has been a nurse for twenty years.

The problem with that is that it was seventy miles away. He went  through

Hell the first six months, and so did I from our having to be apart. I 

finally found a two room apartment a half mile from him. My granddaughter is 

living in our house.

Why this whole story about our lives? So that those  of you that are

struggling with

all the ramifications that go along with this terrible illness can  see

their way out and save their necks in the process if possible.

If just one of the things (an idea) in my story helps someone  then it has

been worth sharing. There is a lot more that goes  on with having an ill

mate than just the illness or just being the caregiver.  There are all the

meals, laundry, keeping the yard done, having repairs done,  going to a doctor

three times a week, buy groceries, and the never ending  pile of bills. And

all of this is left to the mate alone. It felt  almost like I was going under

from the stress, but we made it this far, and  we'll keep on keeping on.

I am sure that is what you are doing. Sometimes things happen that  are

beyond our control, and we have to accept that. Like placing Don in the 

nursing home. I had to accept it, or kill myself trying to do it  all. 

I hope something positive happens for you so that your stress is  less.

Sometime miracles do happen, like my being relieved of Don's personal  care,

but it was replaced with a lot of pain for both of  us.

Dear, may you have the strength to bear up, and find solutions that  will

benefit everyone.   

Love with a  smile,

Imogene

Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband.  Diagnosed with AD in 2005.

And then, with LBD 2006.

A happy personality is  contagious. Infect someone today.

Yours Truly

In a message dated 6/13/2009 10:48:28 A.M. Central Daylight Time, 

spiritsariana@... writes:

After  months of planning, my Dad went to visit his sister in Florida. My

niece, a  CNA, travelled down with him and so far, he is as lucid as can be!!

But prior  to that, I picked him up at the nursing home at the crack of

dawn to drive to  the airport. I found him unshaven, hair straight up, one sock

on, teds  stockings but one was upside down cutting off his circulation and

his foot was  red!!!, stained shirt. I had the nurse look at the foot and

if we didn't  decide to have him wear clogs to lessen confusion of shoes off

and on at the  airport, we would have missed the ted stocking cutting into

his leg like that.  Then to top it off, he had an accident at the airport and

that was when we  found he wasn't briefed either! I was livid. So after a 2

hour drive back home  from the airport. I went and filed a written

complaint at the nursing home. On  the flip side, he is doing extremely well so

far

on the visit. He has 3 more  days to go and unfortunately has to come back

to that. I wish his end of life  could be one incredible, happy vacation.

Then I feel guilty because I have a  husband on disability and if I don't work,

we all lose out. So thats my story  and I am sticking to it. Thank you for

letting me  vent!

**************A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy

steps!

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222377049x1201454365/aol?redir=http://\

[Guest guest]

Hi sweet Helene, My dear I don't have a sense of humor, in fact I don't

have any sense at all. But, a glimmer of light peaks through with my brain

lighting up when I get your loving mail. You have been especially sweet to me

for a long time, and I don't forget that. I love you too.

Love with a smile,

Imogene

Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband. Diagnosed with AD in 2005.

And then, with LBD 2006.

A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today.

Yours Truly

In a message dated 6/13/2009 10:10:46 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

hgm54@... writes:

Amen to that! And, let us not forget Imogene's delightful sense of humor!

Had a nice afternoon/evening with Mom. She didn't sleep at all, and was

very very clear and lucid till about 6:30, when she was only a little bit

" off. " It was one for the memory books, for sure.

With love,

Helene

**************Refinance and lower payments online with Ditech. Visit

www.ditech.com Today!

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1221879746x1201405835/aol?redir=http:%2\

F%2Fclk.atdmt.com%2FDEG%2Fgo%2F155848685%2Fdirect%2F01%2F

)

[Guest guest]

Amen to that! And, let us not forget Imogene's delightful sense of humor!

Had a nice afternoon/evening with Mom. She didn't sleep at all, and was very

very clear and lucid till about 6:30, when she was only a little bit " off. " It

was one for the memory books, for sure.

With love,

Helene

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: i just have to vent...

> To: LBDcaregivers

> Date: Saturday, June 13, 2009, 3:50 PM

>

>

> Dear Spiritsarina, I hope the roller coaster becomes a little  smoother

> than now, but dear I'm afraid it won't. I hear you about your husband  being

on

> disability.

>

> Mine had his second by pass surgery and couldn't do the math at  work so

> had to go on disability. I too had to go on disability, with several 

> ailments, with Chronic Eosenophilia Pneumonia being on the top of my  list of

> ailments. 

>

> We had to sell our house, and move into a travel trailer to avoid  loosing

> the equity we had in the house. We had  a lovely swimming pool. I  gave all

> my nice furniture to my children. It was hard, but it had to be done.

>

> At that time we had two hundred thousand in medical bills. Later it  became

> three hundred thousand. We wrote letters to everyone and told them what  we

> could pay, and faithfully did as we said. We saved our good name, had no 

> marks against us on our credit rating. Eventually, we paid off the medical 

> bills. We had no other bills. I hate credit cards with a passion, and didn't

> use  them so I was off the hook with that. After four years we got a little 

> house.

>

> Anyway, All this was going on and my husband was getting sicker. I  was the

> caregiver, and I had poor health and was aging. The roller coaster  didn't

> get easier. Finally my husband's daughter came to visit and told him he 

> could go to the NH where she has been a nurse for twenty years.

>

> The problem with that is that it was seventy miles away. He went  through

> Hell the first six months, and so did I from our having to be apart. I 

> finally found a two room apartment a half mile from him. My granddaughter is 

> living in our house.

>

> Why this whole story about our lives? So that those  of you that are

> struggling with

> all the ramifications that go along with this terrible illness can  see

> their way out and save their necks in the process if possible.

>

> If just one of the things (an idea) in my story helps someone  then it has

> been worth sharing. There is a lot more that goes  on with having an ill

> mate than just the illness or just being the caregiver.  There are all the

> meals, laundry, keeping the yard done, having repairs done,  going to a doctor

> three times a week, buy groceries, and the never ending  pile of bills. And

> all of this is left to the mate alone. It felt  almost like I was going under

> from the stress, but we made it this far, and  we'll keep on keeping on.

>

> I am sure that is what you are doing. Sometimes things happen that  are

> beyond our control, and we have to accept that. Like placing Don in the 

> nursing home. I had to accept it, or kill myself trying to do it  all. 

>

> I hope something positive happens for you so that your stress is  less.

> Sometime miracles do happen, like my being relieved of Don's personal  care,

> but it was replaced with a lot of pain for both of  us.

>

> Dear, may you have the strength to bear up, and find solutions that  will

> benefit everyone.   

>

> Love with a  smile,

> Imogene

>

> Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband.  Diagnosed with AD in 2005.

> And then, with LBD 2006.

> A happy personality is  contagious. Infect someone today.

> Yours Truly

>

>

> In a message dated 6/13/2009 10:48:28 A.M. Central Daylight Time, 

> spiritsariana@... writes:

>

> After  months of planning, my Dad went to visit his sister in Florida. My

> niece, a  CNA, travelled down with him and so far, he is as lucid as can be!!

> But prior  to that, I picked him up at the nursing home at the crack of

> dawn to drive to  the airport. I found him unshaven, hair straight up, one

sock

> on, teds  stockings but one was upside down cutting off his circulation and

> his foot was  red!!!, stained shirt. I had the nurse look at the foot and

> if we didn't  decide to have him wear clogs to lessen confusion of shoes off

> and on at the  airport, we would have missed the ted stocking cutting into

> his leg like that.  Then to top it off, he had an accident at the airport and

> that was when we  found he wasn't briefed either! I was livid. So after a 2

> hour drive back home  from the airport. I went and filed a written

> complaint at the nursing home. On  the flip side, he is doing extremely well

so far

> on the visit. He has 3 more  days to go and unfortunately has to come back

> to that. I wish his end of life  could be one incredible, happy vacation.

> Then I feel guilty because I have a  husband on disability and if I don't

work,

> we all lose out. So thats my story  and I am sticking to it. Thank you for

> letting me  vent!

>

>

>

>

> **************A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy

> steps!

>

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222377049x1201454365/aol?redir=http://\

[Guest guest]

Thank you Imogene for sharing. Wow. You have been through so much yet I can see

where it would give one hope. So the lesson I got was by giving up control, I

could actually be gaining control - over myself. Dad has been having a blast

with two blondes to lead him around by the hand. Got a little sunburned and had

a margarita or two so life is good. This may sound terrible but if he passed

now, he would have went happy rather than go back to the nursing home. Maybe I

can keep him going with the promise of doing it again sometime.... thank you for

listening and for your words.

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much, my dear Imogene! Your emails always make me smile, laugh and

cry! They are filled with information, humor, emotion, and honesty. And you

have made the journey more endurable, for sure. What a gift you are to us all!

Love,

Helene

>

> Hi sweet Helene, My dear I don't have a sense of humor, in fact I don't

> have any sense at all. But, a glimmer of light peaks through with my brain

> lighting up when I get your loving mail. You have been especially sweet to me

> for a long time, and I don't forget that. I love you too.

>

> Love with a smile,

> Imogene

>

> Caregiver for my True Texas Gentleman Husband. Diagnosed with AD in 2005.

> And then, with LBD 2006.

> A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today.

> Yours Truly

>

>

> In a message dated 6/13/2009 10:10:46 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

> hgm54@... writes:

>

> Amen to that! And, let us not forget Imogene's delightful sense of humor!

>

> Had a nice afternoon/evening with Mom. She didn't sleep at all, and was

> very very clear and lucid till about 6:30, when she was only a little bit

> " off. " It was one for the memory books, for sure.

> With love,

> Helene

>

>

>

> **************Refinance and lower payments online with Ditech. Visit

> www.ditech.com Today!

>

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1221879746x1201405835/aol?redir=http:%2\

F%2Fclk.atdmt.com%2FDEG%2Fgo%2F155848685%2Fdirect%2F01%2F

> )

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You have my sympathies about the issues with the NH. I am sure they cringe whne

they see me coming because I always find things/issues with my Dad's care. For

instance, tonight they had " Chicken paties " (hockey pucks) and my Dad who is

pretty much out of it now informed me they were rubber and npt edible.

Glad your Dad is having a good vacation.

Jayne in VT, daughter of Bob diagnosed in Jan '09

>

> After months of planning, my Dad went to visit his sister in Florida. My

niece, a CNA, travelled down with him and so far, he is as lucid as can be!! But

prior to that, I picked him up at the nursing home at the crack of dawn to drive

to the airport. I found him unshaven, hair straight up, one sock on, teds

stockings but one was upside down cutting off his circulation and his foot was

red!!!, stained shirt. I had the nurse look at the foot and if we didn't decide

to have him wear clogs to lessen confusion of shoes off and on at the airport,

we would have missed the ted stocking cutting into his leg like that. Then to

top it off, he had an accident at the airport and that was when we found he

wasn't briefed either! I was livid. So after a 2 hour drive back home from the

airport. I went and filed a written complaint at the nursing home. On the flip

side, he is doing extremely well so far on the visit. He has 3 more days to go

and unfortunately has to come back to that. I wish his end of life could be one

incredible, happy vacation. Then I feel guilty because I have a husband on

disability and if I don't work, we all lose out. So thats my story and I am

sticking to it. Thank you for letting me vent!

>