:( :(

[Guest guest]

Hi its me again,

I have tried to listen to all your advices, but nothing, just nothing

does work. Today my Easter-parcel arrived there. I got to hear it

right between the conversation, what she ate today and what she will

do tomorrow, I got, oh by hte way your parcel arrived today..... and

later on, I would have to stop to send things ( lol just had filled up

the next, thought to do like the chemo-angels - a little surprise a

week) bought a cream what is good for healing the scares....

sometimes I have the feeling, she tries in purpose to make me upset,

that I would break our friendship..... Sometimes I have the feeling

she wants to talk, but finally does not. I get a few lines, like... I

have to learn to live in a dirty house.... and when I try to make

suggestions, how this not would happen. Like a bit more homecare for a

certain time, she changes straight away and asks, ... how is your

weather... Today it was the first time, I realy got a bit upset and

was close to just click offline and later write an email like if

you dont want any love and support, I cant help it anymore, just stay

alone than in your problems. I did not! I asked for a smile and got

back, she could not smile all the time. OUCH!!! I can try to tease a

bit - wrong. I can try to talk about the problems what bothers her -

wrong. I can try to send little couraging messages, emails - NEVER a

reaction. While she tells me, she had to write emails to some other

people. Slowly I think I am only bothering her and think about to go

offline and not to contact her anymore. Only I dont want to hurt her,

if there is some reason, she is like that, I would feel stupid later

on, wouldnt I?

I realy dont know what to do anymore........ Why is it so difficult???