Guest guest Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 God bless you for being there with your parents. I have heard of LBD LOs calling their children or spouses their mother and/or dad but never heard of someone thinking that they are their own parent and that her daughter is actually her! I know that the road is long and winding with many twists and turns, but at the end you will not only see, but be thankful that you are with them now. I hope that you dad comes to relax a little and no longer feels resentment. I think that sometimes it is harder to cope with things as you age and having to not only cope with the normal things that happen and then having your mom with LBD must truly multiply the burden. You always have this forum to get support and love and hugs. Joan > > Well, I found the quickest way to recapture your adolescence...move back in with your parents at age 59. *sigh* > > I've been here since May 4, and it's definitely been a trip. Quite a change, giving up my apartment and privacy and everything and moving in to help take care of Mom and Dad. > > Mom (80) continues her downward slide with LBD. She has brief periods of lucidity, during which we can converse and laugh, and just as quickly as they come, they disappear and she's not quite sure if I'm her or her daughter. We've all been renamed to reflect her maiden name plus a whole string of others which will insure that we get to " Gloriful Land " . She calls my dad by her father's name, and she swears she's her mother. Seems we couldn't get in with our real names because all that family has been kicked out. *LOL* > > I didn't move in a moment too soon. Dad, who is 85, loves Mom but he's becoming resentful of the 24/7 care she requires. He's been cranky and hateful with her, and then he gets to feeling guilty about it and goes into a funk (which he terms " depression " ) and cries. There's no talking him out of it. I just have to put him to bed for a while. > > Mom can't support any weight on her legs at all, can't assist with any of her care, is still seeing hallucinations, but at least they're not troublesome for her. She waves to invisible people and says hello, but she doesn't expect that anyone else can see them. She's becoming incontinent more and more frequently but refuses to wear adult diapers, or even a pad without a lot of cajoling. She can't do her own personal hygiene except sort of brush her teeth. > > This morning she decided she wanted to wear her 50th anniversary celebration dress because they were coming to get her to take her to heaven. I talked her out of it, but did get her to agree to wear another white dress. She's STUBBORN! *LOL* I was trying to help her out this morning, and my Dad sat and laughed. She sets her jaw, and there's not much budging her. > > We've had to put the telephone out of her reach unless we're there to monitor who she's calling. We've had many visits from paramedics and firemen and police. Of all the numbers she remembers, 911 is foremost. > > I'm thankful that things have worked out the way they have. I only have a week and a half more of school, and then I'm off for the summer. I don't know how long the ride's going to last, because they don't have it posted anywhere...LBD Roller Coaster just goes until it stops. > > Jannis > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 Jannis, I am sure you are a godsend to your parents but am so sorry you have had to move in with them. You will be caregiver to both, no doubt, in some respect concerning your dad. I am sure he is greatly relieved and surely your mother will receive better care under your watch. I truly understand how overwhelming it must all be for you. As well, end of school year is busy and stressful enough! What about when you must return to work in the fall? Is it time to think of placing them both in a care facility, or at least your mom. Being there now you can assess your dad's capabilities and hopefully talk to him about what the fall may bring. You need to do for you as well as for them. You all have needs, not just your parents. All the best to you in this more enveloping situation. > > Well, I found the quickest way to recapture your adolescence...move back in with your parents at age 59. *sigh* > > I've been here since May 4, and it's definitely been a trip. Quite a change, giving up my apartment and privacy and everything and moving in to help take care of Mom and Dad. > > Mom (80) continues her downward slide with LBD. She has brief periods of lucidity, during which we can converse and laugh, and just as quickly as they come, they disappear and she's not quite sure if I'm her or her daughter. We've all been renamed to reflect her maiden name plus a whole string of others which will insure that we get to " Gloriful Land " . She calls my dad by her father's name, and she swears she's her mother. Seems we couldn't get in with our real names because all that family has been kicked out. *LOL* > > I didn't move in a moment too soon. Dad, who is 85, loves Mom but he's becoming resentful of the 24/7 care she requires. He's been cranky and hateful with her, and then he gets to feeling guilty about it and goes into a funk (which he terms " depression " ) and cries. There's no talking him out of it. I just have to put him to bed for a while. > > Mom can't support any weight on her legs at all, can't assist with any of her care, is still seeing hallucinations, but at least they're not troublesome for her. She waves to invisible people and says hello, but she doesn't expect that anyone else can see them. She's becoming incontinent more and more frequently but refuses to wear adult diapers, or even a pad without a lot of cajoling. She can't do her own personal hygiene except sort of brush her teeth. > > This morning she decided she wanted to wear her 50th anniversary celebration dress because they were coming to get her to take her to heaven. I talked her out of it, but did get her to agree to wear another white dress. She's STUBBORN! *LOL* I was trying to help her out this morning, and my Dad sat and laughed. She sets her jaw, and there's not much budging her. > > We've had to put the telephone out of her reach unless we're there to monitor who she's calling. We've had many visits from paramedics and firemen and police. Of all the numbers she remembers, 911 is foremost. > > I'm thankful that things have worked out the way they have. I only have a week and a half more of school, and then I'm off for the summer. I don't know how long the ride's going to last, because they don't have it posted anywhere...LBD Roller Coaster just goes until it stops. > > Jannis > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2009 Report Share Posted May 18, 2009 Jannis, What an awesome job you are doing in caring for your parents and giving back much of what they gave to you. You will never regret giving your mother the best care. My mom moved in with us three years ago (after Dad died) and so much of what you are relaying is what we have been through. Regarding the incontinence and refusal to wear adult diapers, here's how we handled the situation: We told Mom there's a new invention. " They make these wonderful padded underwear and they're disposable too. They work great and they don't leak so there's no embarrassment. " She replied, " Well, it's about time " and " That's a good idea " and willingly complied after that. We never called them diapers and we make sure caregivers never call them diapers either. Are you able to sleep well at night? Rather, is your mother sleeping well at night so you can too? Sleep has been such a key in being able to keep my mom here with us. The magic solution was a kind neurologist who, wanting to help Mom ( & us), gave us guidelines for increasing the Seroquel dosages and said that, " When you get to the right dosage, she will sleep. " Wishing you peace and wisdom, Sheila in IN Daughter of Louise, age 86, dx LBD 7/2007 Only medication: Seroquel 9AM- 25 mg, 3PM- 62.5 mg, 9PM -100 mg. > > Well, I found the quickest way to recapture your adolescence...move back in with your parents at age 59. *sigh* > > I've been here since May 4, and it's definitely been a trip. Quite a change, giving up my apartment and privacy and everything and moving in to help take care of Mom and Dad. > > Mom (80) continues her downward slide with LBD. She has brief periods of lucidity, during which we can converse and laugh, and just as quickly as they come, they disappear and she's not quite sure if I'm her or her daughter. We've all been renamed to reflect her maiden name plus a whole string of others which will insure that we get to " Gloriful Land " . She calls my dad by her father's name, and she swears she's her mother. Seems we couldn't get in with our real names because all that family has been kicked out. *LOL* > > I didn't move in a moment too soon. Dad, who is 85, loves Mom but he's becoming resentful of the 24/7 care she requires. He's been cranky and hateful with her, and then he gets to feeling guilty about it and goes into a funk (which he terms " depression " ) and cries. There's no talking him out of it. I just have to put him to bed for a while. > > Mom can't support any weight on her legs at all, can't assist with any of her care, is still seeing hallucinations, but at least they're not troublesome for her. She waves to invisible people and says hello, but she doesn't expect that anyone else can see them. She's becoming incontinent more and more frequently but refuses to wear adult diapers, or even a pad without a lot of cajoling. She can't do her own personal hygiene except sort of brush her teeth. > > This morning she decided she wanted to wear her 50th anniversary celebration dress because they were coming to get her to take her to heaven. I talked her out of it, but did get her to agree to wear another white dress. She's STUBBORN! *LOL* I was trying to help her out this morning, and my Dad sat and laughed. She sets her jaw, and there's not much budging her. > > We've had to put the telephone out of her reach unless we're there to monitor who she's calling. We've had many visits from paramedics and firemen and police. Of all the numbers she remembers, 911 is foremost. > > I'm thankful that things have worked out the way they have. I only have a week and a half more of school, and then I'm off for the summer. I don't know how long the ride's going to last, because they don't have it posted anywhere...LBD Roller Coaster just goes until it stops. > > Jannis > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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