Sister and nada's first joint therapy session

[Guest guest]

I did not end up participating in their session (by conference call)

after all. Sister decided it would be better this first time with

just her and our nada and their therapist.

Sister said that nada was in full Angelic Martyr mode, denied having

said the horrible insult that caused Sister to go " no contact " back in

July, and denied having ever laid a hand on us when we were kids!

Amazing!

Yet, Sister felt that nada did take one baby step: nada agreed to be

more aware of things she does that are manipulative and negative, and

that Sister will give nada instant feedback if anything nada does or

says is abusive. (Both Sister and I had been trained to never

criticize nada or point out that something she said or did hurt us.)

So, Sister agreed that she would show up once a week at nada's to take

her grocery shopping.

It's not the outcome or consequences I'd hoped for, but I'm there for

my Sister and if she's satisfied with the outcome, I'm happy for her.

For myself, I am not in favor of forgiving someone who has not asked

for forgiveness or apologized because she doesn't acknowledge that she

has done anything wrong.

If and when I speak with nada again, I think I'll say something like,

" So, since we are apparently pretending that you've never said or done

anything abusive to me, then, I guess you and I can also pretend that

we have a relationship. I don't see the need to make any actual phone

calls anymore, do you? Bye. "

Chew on them apples for a while, nada.

-Annie

[Guest guest]

Stand your ground girl, the ONLY hope (in my opinion) is for nada to

realize that she can't get away with that behavior and god only knows

how long that will take and how much manipulation will come in the

process. We know that our nadas can control their behavior when they

want/need to. They just don't think they need to with their children

and family! I would have never agreed to doing something for nada

just because she showed up to a therapy appt. BFD! The fact that

she lied in the very first session speaks volumes.

>

> I did not end up participating in their session (by conference call)

> after all. Sister decided it would be better this first time with

> just her and our nada and their therapist.

>

> Sister said that nada was in full Angelic Martyr mode, denied having

> said the horrible insult that caused Sister to go " no contact " back in

> July, and denied having ever laid a hand on us when we were kids!

> Amazing!

>

> Yet, Sister felt that nada did take one baby step: nada agreed to be

> more aware of things she does that are manipulative and negative, and

> that Sister will give nada instant feedback if anything nada does or

> says is abusive. (Both Sister and I had been trained to never

> criticize nada or point out that something she said or did hurt us.)

>

> So, Sister agreed that she would show up once a week at nada's to take

> her grocery shopping.

>

> It's not the outcome or consequences I'd hoped for, but I'm there for

> my Sister and if she's satisfied with the outcome, I'm happy for her.

>

> For myself, I am not in favor of forgiving someone who has not asked

> for forgiveness or apologized because she doesn't acknowledge that she

> has done anything wrong.

>

> If and when I speak with nada again, I think I'll say something like,

> " So, since we are apparently pretending that you've never said or done

> anything abusive to me, then, I guess you and I can also pretend that

> we have a relationship. I don't see the need to make any actual phone

> calls anymore, do you? Bye. "

>

> Chew on them apples for a while, nada.

>

> -Annie

>