Re: Ventilating for & with Phil

May 13, 2008

> Somewhere I feel I need to tell the truth, and I'm afraid that place

> is here. Not in my church, not to my long-suffering family and

> wonderful wife.

Phil,

I feel the same way and the members here including me, will encourage

to vent , because we understand how you feel. When I tell my family or

complain, I feel I am burdening them. I sometimes do not get the

compassion I need either as they just want me back the way I used to be

or cannot deal with what I have become. When they realize they cannot

deal with it, they are embarrassed how superficial they are, and stay

away.

My church of 8 years, it was a big one, and friends and neighbors who I

had planted trees and plants in their yard, did not show up to help me

when I was down and out but my church showed up at collection time.

That was the wrong thing to do with me.

I told them since they could not be there for me, I gave charity in

other places and I think God would just be OK with that.

I had a church caregiver representative call and I sent her an e-mail

about how it feels for people to forget. The pastor used it in a

sermon, but I was never visited. I am OK with that because I realize

people usually don't want to be around sick or mentally ill people. I

have never been that way. My grandmother, Mother,aunts, sisters and

myself are in the medical field or Nurses.

They have been compassionate but still have a hard time accepting me as

bedridden, they want back the energetic person I was. I had to finally

tell them that it did not help to keep mentioning that and no matter

how I try that is not going to happen.

They need to accept me with my limitations and go on with their lives.

Not many people will ask you on a trip or go with you when you have to

stop so much or cannot do all the exciting things, I have my fur kids

and they will go with me anywhere and don't care and give me that big

lick at night time and lie right by me when I hurt. As I said, others

will not share the fund they have had as they feel guilty.

So Phil, vent all you want, I am glad you found us and hope that you

have many low pain days. The members here are amazing and if I can

always listen. Bennie

>

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