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Re: She won't stop!!!

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Go outside RIGHT NOW and burn it in the BBQ grill. Period.

Don't let her " Nuts-ness " ruin your day.

Flames can be healing ;o)

Lynnette

>

> Ugh!!! NADA sent me a birthday card after I " never recieved " her

> happy birthday text message.

>

> She of course, did not put a return address on the card. Isn't that

> crafty?

>

> She totally tore me down a couple months ago when she found out I

> was trying to get her mailing address. Told me NEVER to send her

> anything and that I don't deserve her address, blah blah blah. Then

> she sends ME something with no return address. It's like she is

> saying " see? I can do what I want. I can have total control over

our

> communication. This is on MY terms. And I can tell you why and how

> to contact me. You can't send me anything, but I can send you

> anything I want " .

>

> It just pissed me off.

>

> At least she didn't draw a sad face in my bday card this year like

> she did last year. nuts.

>

> I am really pissed about this. I probably shouldn't be. I am

wasting

> emotion and thoughts on someone who doesn't deserve them.

>

> ~Sara Jo

>

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I like Lynnette's advise! I was just going to tell you to put the card in the

Trash! Watch it BURN! BURN BABY BURN!! It will feel good! Wish I did that with

my MIL nada's gifts that she gave me for x-mas! It would have felt great!

PS

If you stop playing her games, she can't win!

Nerak

 

 

 

Subject: Re: She won't stop!!!

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Wednesday, January 21, 2009, 3:45 PM

Go outside RIGHT NOW and burn it in the BBQ grill. Period.

Don't let her " Nuts-ness " ruin your day.

Flames can be healing ;o)

Lynnette

>

> Ugh!!! NADA sent me a birthday card after I " never recieved " her

> happy birthday text message.

>

> She of course, did not put a return address on the card. Isn't that

> crafty?

>

> She totally tore me down a couple months ago when she found out I

> was trying to get her mailing address. Told me NEVER to send her

> anything and that I don't deserve her address, blah blah blah. Then

> she sends ME something with no return address. It's like she is

> saying " see? I can do what I want. I can have total control over

our

> communication. This is on MY terms. And I can tell you why and how

> to contact me. You can't send me anything, but I can send you

> anything I want " .

>

> It just pissed me off.

>

> At least she didn't draw a sad face in my bday card this year like

> she did last year. nuts.

>

> I am really pissed about this. I probably shouldn't be. I am

wasting

> emotion and thoughts on someone who doesn't deserve them.

>

> ~Sara Jo

>

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I think you hit the nail on the head in your last paragraph.

She's playing nasty games with you and you can't win if you play

her game. You're wasting energy and letting her win when you get

upset over this kind of thing. Changing how you react is easier

said than done, but identifying the problem does get you a good

ways towards changing. Try to convince yourself that this

doesn't matter. Have a ceremonial card burning to represent

burning away the bad emotions then do something you relaxing

that you enjoy.

At 10:29 AM 01/21/2009 Sara Jo wrote:

>Ugh!!! NADA sent me a birthday card after I " never recieved "

>her

>happy birthday text message.

>

>She of course, did not put a return address on the card. Isn't

>that

>crafty?

>

>She totally tore me down a couple months ago when she found out

>I

>was trying to get her mailing address. Told me NEVER to send

>her

>anything and that I don't deserve her address, blah blah blah.

>Then

>she sends ME something with no return address. It's like she is

>

>saying " see? I can do what I want. I can have total control

>over our

>communication. This is on MY terms. And I can tell you why and

>how

>to contact me. You can't send me anything, but I can send you

>anything I want " .

>

>It just pissed me off.

>

>At least she didn't draw a sad face in my bday card this year

>like

>she did last year. nuts.

>

>I am really pissed about this. I probably shouldn't be. I am

>wasting

>emotion and thoughts on someone who doesn't deserve them.

>

>~Sara Jo

--

Katrina

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I think you're right, that is exactly her unspoken message: " I'm in

control, not you. I can decide when and if I contact you, and its all

on my terms only! " Wow. Yes, in my opinion, the best thing you can

do for yourself is to erase your nada from your life as thoroughly as

possible, as though she doesn't even exist. She's not worth a second

of your thought.

-Annie

>

> Ugh!!! NADA sent me a birthday card after I " never recieved " her

> happy birthday text message.

>

> She of course, did not put a return address on the card. Isn't that

> crafty?

>

> She totally tore me down a couple months ago when she found out I

> was trying to get her mailing address. Told me NEVER to send her

> anything and that I don't deserve her address, blah blah blah. Then

> she sends ME something with no return address. It's like she is

> saying " see? I can do what I want. I can have total control over our

> communication. This is on MY terms. And I can tell you why and how

> to contact me. You can't send me anything, but I can send you

> anything I want " .

>

> It just pissed me off.

>

> At least she didn't draw a sad face in my bday card this year like

> she did last year. nuts.

>

> I am really pissed about this. I probably shouldn't be. I am wasting

> emotion and thoughts on someone who doesn't deserve them.

>

> ~Sara Jo

>

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Thanks guys. I like the burning idea. But I tore it up and threw it

away already.

I am not playing the game!

~Sarajo

> >

> > Ugh!!! NADA sent me a birthday card after I " never recieved " her

> > happy birthday text message.

> >

> > She of course, did not put a return address on the card. Isn't

that

> > crafty?

> >

> > She totally tore me down a couple months ago when she found out

I

> > was trying to get her mailing address. Told me NEVER to send her

> > anything and that I don't deserve her address, blah blah blah.

Then

> > she sends ME something with no return address. It's like she is

> > saying " see? I can do what I want. I can have total control over

our

> > communication. This is on MY terms. And I can tell you why and

how

> > to contact me. You can't send me anything, but I can send you

> > anything I want " .

> >

> > It just pissed me off.

> >

> > At least she didn't draw a sad face in my bday card this year

like

> > she did last year. nuts.

> >

> > I am really pissed about this. I probably shouldn't be. I am

wasting

> > emotion and thoughts on someone who doesn't deserve them.

> >

> > ~Sara Jo

> >

>

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Me too! I like that " ceremonial burning " idea so much that I'm going

to take all the old Christmas and birthday cards I have stuffed

somewhere and burn them all! Great concept!

-Annie

> > >

> > > Ugh!!! NADA sent me a birthday card after I " never recieved " her

> > > happy birthday text message.

> > >

> > > She of course, did not put a return address on the card. Isn't

> that

> > > crafty?

> > >

> > > She totally tore me down a couple months ago when she found out

> I

> > > was trying to get her mailing address. Told me NEVER to send her

> > > anything and that I don't deserve her address, blah blah blah.

> Then

> > > she sends ME something with no return address. It's like she is

> > > saying " see? I can do what I want. I can have total control over

> our

> > > communication. This is on MY terms. And I can tell you why and

> how

> > > to contact me. You can't send me anything, but I can send you

> > > anything I want " .

> > >

> > > It just pissed me off.

> > >

> > > At least she didn't draw a sad face in my bday card this year

> like

> > > she did last year. nuts.

> > >

> > > I am really pissed about this. I probably shouldn't be. I am

> wasting

> > > emotion and thoughts on someone who doesn't deserve them.

> > >

> > > ~Sara Jo

> > >

> >

>

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Good for you Sara Jo!!!

 

Nerak

 

Subject: Re: She won't stop!!!

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Wednesday, January 21, 2009, 5:39 PM

Thanks guys. I like the burning idea. But I tore it up and threw it

away already.

I am not playing the game!

~Sarajo

> >

> > Ugh!!! NADA sent me a birthday card after I " never recieved " her

> > happy birthday text message.

> >

> > She of course, did not put a return address on the card. Isn't

that

> > crafty?

> >

> > She totally tore me down a couple months ago when she found out

I

> > was trying to get her mailing address. Told me NEVER to send her

> > anything and that I don't deserve her address, blah blah blah.

Then

> > she sends ME something with no return address. It's like she is

> > saying " see? I can do what I want. I can have total control over

our

> > communication. This is on MY terms. And I can tell you why and

how

> > to contact me. You can't send me anything, but I can send you

> > anything I want " .

> >

> > It just pissed me off.

> >

> > At least she didn't draw a sad face in my bday card this year

like

> > she did last year. nuts.

> >

> > I am really pissed about this. I probably shouldn't be. I am

wasting

> > emotion and thoughts on someone who doesn't deserve them.

> >

> > ~Sara Jo

> >

>

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Unfortunately, you are wasting time and emotions being upset with her.

That's exactly what she wants. She doesn't deserve and hasn't earned your

love.

Laurie

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cemailfooterNO62)

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>

> Ugh!!! NADA sent me a birthday card after I " never recieved " her

> happy birthday text message.

>

Sara Jo-

I hope you enjoyed your birthday despite all of your Nada's efforts

to make it about her in classic BPD form. I took my parents call on

my birthday after having been NC for quite some time. I might not

have, but my daughter heard the Cruella DeVille ringtone and said I

should just answer it because she would keep calling back.

They ended up pushing for a visit since they were preparing to move

out of state. I put them off until after Christmas and then met them

at a restaurant for lunch. It was a bizarre visit. I was given a

card with the JC Penney gift card which I appreciated much more than

the XL pair of PJs (Mom likes say I got " fat " from drinking beer.

Never mind I am smaller than her and not an XL. And never mind the

whole drinking beer accusation) she gave me last year along with a

Nativity scene hanging thing. How bizarre to get a gift depicting

the Holy family from some so incredibly un-holy. I could not bring

myself to hang it anywhere in my home. I remember reading the card

and having trouble comprehending it. I kind of felt like it should

have been for someone else. I had heard all to many times about how

I was such a rotten kid that getting a card saying I was a wonderful

daughter and mother felt wrong and manipulative. But I can honestly

say, I didn't feel much of anything about the visit. I may as well

have had lunch with strangers at an airport. My parents were on a 15

minute tape rewind...which is to say, they told the same stories

every 15 minutes as if it were something new.

They left the state this past Tuesday not without attempting to call

one last time. I had my phone on vibrate, so I never heard the

message until the day I knew they were packing up and moving. I

opted not to call back. A part of me feels guilty, but I just did

not want the possibility of any kind of awkward goodbye. I know they

arrived safely because they moved to the city where my brother

lives. Although he knows about all their craziness, he hasn't lived

around it in years...never mind he married a BPD (but is separated).

I feel bad for him, but relieved for myself. In a small way, it

takes the pressure off feeling bad about not visiting, talking, etc.

While I am no longer overwhelmed by guilt, I still feel twinges here

and there and struggle with what other family members might be

thinking. But I have kind of resolved myself to the fact that those

who really know the truth support me. Those who don't are either

clueless or crazy themselves and I have stopped caring what crazy

people think!

Take care and belated Happy Birthday!

JJFan

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