Guest guest Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Your poem reflects the feeling that our nadas are so cold, unfeeling, selfish and hateful towards their own children that its hard to see them as human. I agree. I have often thought that the pds that lack empathy are lacking an essential component of what makes us human beings. Its almost like the " Cluster B " pds lack a soul, to speak metaphysically. Thanks for sharing your poem. -Annie > > Hi, > I just stumbled across a poem I wrote when I was about 12 or 13, since > then I have altered it a tad - as the years wore on - I'm at a place > where I would like to share it > > " The Black Widow " > It is not trickery that she possess.... > only a distasteful manner > she does not believe in trickery.. > only in aggression and evil > They will believe she is not dangerous > simply kind at heart > Oh, but they are fooled by the stupidity of man, > for she is not a loving human > They too will discover feelings toward her hardened and lost soul... > but these will never be responded due to the hatred amidst her heart > speak only truthfully, yet quietly...as she does not speak with a > truthful mouth > she may scorn your soul, leaving you placid and helpless to the > eventual surrender of her evil > You abide by her remedy of judgment and stand .... alone... > helpless once again as her shadow fades leaving you with emptiness and > regret > although she will hear you call again for love and comfort > you must never seek it as you will reignite her spiteful and unkind words > in the hope of filling an emotional void > > ...her hideous face lies beneath a layer of burning coal... > living up to her expectations was always impossible > > all you can do is run from a locked away world to freedom.. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Your poem is very interesting to me. I have been trying to tap into my dreams, to allow my subconscious to speak to me through them. Ignore me if this is too freaky for you. I always thought that I was a very intuitive person, but recently I self-discovered that I am not intuitive; I am extremely good at reading body language. Reading body language is not so much intuition as it is sensing. We all know why a daughter of a nada might be good at reading body language. At any rate, prompted by this self discovery, I have been paying attention to my dreams as a way for my intuition/inner wisdom to come through. I recently had a dream about a black spider, and when I looked it up on the dream dictionary it said that a spider " could " represent a strong, controlling female figure. So, interesting.... > > > > Hi, > > I just stumbled across a poem I wrote when I was about 12 or 13, since > > then I have altered it a tad - as the years wore on - I'm at a place > > where I would like to share it > > > > " The Black Widow " > > It is not trickery that she possess.... > > only a distasteful manner > > she does not believe in trickery.. > > only in aggression and evil > > They will believe she is not dangerous > > simply kind at heart > > Oh, but they are fooled by the stupidity of man, > > for she is not a loving human > > They too will discover feelings toward her hardened and lost soul... > > but these will never be responded due to the hatred amidst her heart > > speak only truthfully, yet quietly...as she does not speak with a > > truthful mouth > > she may scorn your soul, leaving you placid and helpless to the > > eventual surrender of her evil > > You abide by her remedy of judgment and stand .... alone... > > helpless once again as her shadow fades leaving you with emptiness and > > regret > > although she will hear you call again for love and comfort > > you must never seek it as you will reignite her spiteful and unkind > words > > in the hope of filling an emotional void > > > > ...her hideous face lies beneath a layer of burning coal... > > living up to her expectations was always impossible > > > > all you can do is run from a locked away world to freedom.. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 I understand that, and no what you are saying is not too 'out there'. My dreams are hugely intuitive and leading in my life. Nada would always tell me to forget them, but my father is the opposite (very self aware and done lots of therapy in his life, needless to say has not been with my nada for about 30yrs!) Poetry and journalling are my way of letting out my emotions healthily. My father encourages me to do this too. Poetry - if thats what you can call it - comes to me in random moments, words just seem to flow and lead their own way, I never put conscious thought into them. Its my only self-therapy that works, for me. I rarely if ever share them with anyone else. So this poem was big for me to share and only did so for those who may identify with it :-) Hey, interesting about the spider thing!! That title was just a random thought!! I never knew about its resemblence. Often I have fantasised about reading this 'poem' out as an eulogy (spelling?) at nadas funeral! Can you imagine the faces!! x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 I don't think you'll ever read that poem to a more understanding group of people than those of us who have been down that same road with our own nadas. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. It deeply touched me and resonated deep inside me. **hug** > > Hi, > I just stumbled across a poem I wrote when I was about 12 or 13, since > then I have altered it a tad - as the years wore on - I'm at a place > where I would like to share it > > " The Black Widow " > It is not trickery that she possess.... > only a distasteful manner > she does not believe in trickery.. > only in aggression and evil > They will believe she is not dangerous > simply kind at heart > Oh, but they are fooled by the stupidity of man, > for she is not a loving human > They too will discover feelings toward her hardened and lost soul... > but these will never be responded due to the hatred amidst her heart > speak only truthfully, yet quietly...as she does not speak with a > truthful mouth > she may scorn your soul, leaving you placid and helpless to the > eventual surrender of her evil > You abide by her remedy of judgment and stand .... alone... > helpless once again as her shadow fades leaving you with emptiness and > regret > although she will hear you call again for love and comfort > you must never seek it as you will reignite her spiteful and unkind words > in the hope of filling an emotional void > > ...her hideous face lies beneath a layer of burning coal... > living up to her expectations was always impossible > > all you can do is run from a locked away world to freedom.. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 Just coincidentally, I have pretty severe arachnophobia... > > > > > > Hi, > > > I just stumbled across a poem I wrote when I was about 12 or 13, > since > > > then I have altered it a tad - as the years wore on - I'm at a > place > > > where I would like to share it > > > > > > " The Black Widow " > > > It is not trickery that she possess.... > > > only a distasteful manner > > > she does not believe in trickery.. > > > only in aggression and evil > > > They will believe she is not dangerous > > > simply kind at heart > > > Oh, but they are fooled by the stupidity of man, > > > for she is not a loving human > > > They too will discover feelings toward her hardened and lost > soul... > > > but these will never be responded due to the hatred amidst her > heart > > > speak only truthfully, yet quietly...as she does not speak with a > > > truthful mouth > > > she may scorn your soul, leaving you placid and helpless to the > > > eventual surrender of her evil > > > You abide by her remedy of judgment and stand .... alone... > > > helpless once again as her shadow fades leaving you with > emptiness and > > > regret > > > although she will hear you call again for love and comfort > > > you must never seek it as you will reignite her spiteful and > unkind > > words > > > in the hope of filling an emotional void > > > > > > ...her hideous face lies beneath a layer of burning coal... > > > living up to her expectations was always impossible > > > > > > all you can do is run from a locked away world to freedom.. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 I agree, I could relate to it too - thanks for sharing it. > > > > Hi, > > I just stumbled across a poem I wrote when I was about 12 or 13, > since > > then I have altered it a tad - as the years wore on - I'm at a place > > where I would like to share it > > > > " The Black Widow " > > It is not trickery that she possess.... > > only a distasteful manner > > she does not believe in trickery.. > > only in aggression and evil > > They will believe she is not dangerous > > simply kind at heart > > Oh, but they are fooled by the stupidity of man, > > for she is not a loving human > > They too will discover feelings toward her hardened and lost soul... > > but these will never be responded due to the hatred amidst her heart > > speak only truthfully, yet quietly...as she does not speak with a > > truthful mouth > > she may scorn your soul, leaving you placid and helpless to the > > eventual surrender of her evil > > You abide by her remedy of judgment and stand .... alone... > > helpless once again as her shadow fades leaving you with emptiness > and > > regret > > although she will hear you call again for love and comfort > > you must never seek it as you will reignite her spiteful and unkind > words > > in the hope of filling an emotional void > > > > ...her hideous face lies beneath a layer of burning coal... > > living up to her expectations was always impossible > > > > all you can do is run from a locked away world to freedom.. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 I'm glad that you felt close enough to share this poem. Thank you. Randi Kreger Randi @BPDCentral.com www.BPDCentral.com * NEW! Author, The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells > > Hi, > I just stumbled across a poem I wrote when I was about 12 or 13, since > then I have altered it a tad - as the years wore on - I'm at a place > where I would like to share it > > " The Black Widow " > It is not trickery that she possess.... > only a distasteful manner > she does not believe in trickery.. > only in aggression and evil > They will believe she is not dangerous > simply kind at heart > Oh, but they are fooled by the stupidity of man, > for she is not a loving human > They too will discover feelings toward her hardened and lost soul... > but these will never be responded due to the hatred amidst her heart > speak only truthfully, yet quietly...as she does not speak with a > truthful mouth > she may scorn your soul, leaving you placid and helpless to the > eventual surrender of her evil > You abide by her remedy of judgment and stand .... alone... > helpless once again as her shadow fades leaving you with emptiness and > regret > although she will hear you call again for love and comfort > you must never seek it as you will reignite her spiteful and unkind words > in the hope of filling an emotional void > > ...her hideous face lies beneath a layer of burning coal... > living up to her expectations was always impossible > > all you can do is run from a locked away world to freedom.. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 You so captured the feelings and the reactions of a bp mother. I think it is so good you can express yourself this way- and though it is not easy- I think it is important for all of us to release what we are feeling- and this is such a constructive way to do it! Blessings for your keen insights, Malinda In WTOAdultChildren1 , " bpdcentral " wrote: > > I'm glad that you felt close enough to share this poem. Thank you. > > Randi Kreger > Randi @BPDCentral.com > www.BPDCentral.com > * NEW! Author, The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality > Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells > > > > > > > Hi, > > I just stumbled across a poem I wrote when I was about 12 or 13, > since > > then I have altered it a tad - as the years wore on - I'm at a place > > where I would like to share it > > > > " The Black Widow " > > It is not trickery that she possess.... > > only a distasteful manner > > she does not believe in trickery.. > > only in aggression and evil > > They will believe she is not dangerous > > simply kind at heart > > Oh, but they are fooled by the stupidity of man, > > for she is not a loving human > > They too will discover feelings toward her hardened and lost soul... > > but these will never be responded due to the hatred amidst her heart > > speak only truthfully, yet quietly...as she does not speak with a > > truthful mouth > > she may scorn your soul, leaving you placid and helpless to the > > eventual surrender of her evil > > You abide by her remedy of judgment and stand .... alone... > > helpless once again as her shadow fades leaving you with emptiness > and > > regret > > although she will hear you call again for love and comfort > > you must never seek it as you will reignite her spiteful and unkind > words > > in the hope of filling an emotional void > > > > ...her hideous face lies beneath a layer of burning coal... > > living up to her expectations was always impossible > > > > all you can do is run from a locked away world to freedom.. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 Thank you for sharing this poem with us, it resonated with many of my thought, feelings and intuitions too. Especially the cycle of hoping for comfort and care, while knowing better, and then the bitter disappointment again are very recognizable. It is heart breaking that a young girl has to be that wise in life already! When we moved to our new house two months ago, I came across my eldest childhood poems. The very first one I ever wrote, in a very solemn tone because I probably thought that poetry had to be like that , also made a weird impression on me while rereading it after so many years. It talks very convincingly of the beauty of nature and life, the quiet and harmony; and then a sudden upheaval, disturbance, I call it " as if the devil wispers something into your ear " ; and the " you " in the poem, guess whom I addressed, turns into a witch, a demon out of control. Hmmm -- I wonder where an 11 year old would get these " fantasies " ... I am happy for you that you also find a way of channelling thoughts and emotions through writing, it is for me also my best way of expressing myself -- apparently already so since my first poem... > > Hi, > I just stumbled across a poem I wrote when I was about 12 or 13, since > then I have altered it a tad - as the years wore on - I'm at a place > where I would like to share it > > " The Black Widow " > It is not trickery that she possess.... > only a distasteful manner > she does not believe in trickery.. > only in aggression and evil > They will believe she is not dangerous > simply kind at heart > Oh, but they are fooled by the stupidity of man, > for she is not a loving human > They too will discover feelings toward her hardened and lost soul... > but these will never be responded due to the hatred amidst her heart > speak only truthfully, yet quietly...as she does not speak with a > truthful mouth > she may scorn your soul, leaving you placid and helpless to the > eventual surrender of her evil > You abide by her remedy of judgment and stand .... alone... > helpless once again as her shadow fades leaving you with emptiness and > regret > although she will hear you call again for love and comfort > you must never seek it as you will reignite her spiteful and unkind words > in the hope of filling an emotional void > > ...her hideous face lies beneath a layer of burning coal... > living up to her expectations was always impossible > > all you can do is run from a locked away world to freedom.. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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