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Re:Waiting to Exhale

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This is a phrase I use when I know I am literally holding my breath waiting for

the next thing to happen. In fact, whenever a doctor checks my lung capacity,

they do it over and over because they can't believe my lung capacity is so

small. I believe that I actually grew up breathing with fear in short little

breaths and have tiny lung capacity as a result.

But what I have noticed lately - in the last year or so - is that I am better

about two things:

1. People can think whatever they want about me. My husband and kids love me

and I love me (that's a hard one). When I set my mind to the FACT that this is

all that truly matters in life, then what my mother or anyone else thinks about

me is really just not my problem, and I can actually start feeling sorry for

them for being filled with such negativity. With the new ability to think this

way, I can actually FEEL myself breathing better.

2. Getting away from " real life " and taking the kids to the snow or taking a

family drive to a community event or just a random drive is amazingly

therapeutic. My husband drives and I sit and watch the world go by. Eventually I

find my happy place and I can feel myself take a nice, deep (deep for me - ha!)

breath and my shoulders relax. The rest of the day is a gift of relaxation and a

respite from the stresses and thoughts of " real life. "

I am " exhaling " on a pretty regular basis now, and I am able to sense within

myself when it is time for a drive or other escape so I can " find my exhale. "

:o) Cheryl

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