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Re: Surgery on Feb 12th

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Hi Jenn,

Just being there for her will mean a whole lot. If her Mom is upset maybe take

her and the boyfriend down to the cafeteria for something to eat so she can

rest. The best thing is to let her rest till shes more herself. I know in the

very beginning I was tired for a little while. Then I was hungry and after that

I just sat and talked with my husband and kids.

She might need your help even more when she gets home. You could make up some

meals and take them over there or help her if she needs anything done in the

house. I will keep her in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

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Surgery on Feb 12th

My friend goes in for surgery on Feb 12th. IIRC its a radical

mastecotmy with immediate reconstruction and some sort of skin

expander installed... they're doing more chemo after that, dunno if

they're doin radiation or not yet.

My question is if there is anything I can do to help her out that

day. I'm getting off work and going to the hospital about a hour

before she gets out of surgery to help chill her mom out and be there

for her boyfriend who, I'm sure, is going to feel a wee bit out of

place. I know she's gonna be pretty zonked out most the day, just

wanted to know if you guys had any insight on " i wish i'd had <this>

the day of/after surgery " .

Hope all of you are continuing to do well!

-Jenn

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To be honest, Jenn, I just had a bilateral mastectomy January 3rd, one

simple and one partial radical, and I don't remember a whole lot about my

first day. My husband was there, which was the most important thing for me.

Your friend is going to be very groggy from leftover anesthesia and pain

meds and probably won't need much that day.

What helped me most the first week or so after surgery was childcare for my

daughter so my husband could spend some time with me every day that I was

in the hospital (four days) and a friend who cooked me dinners and brought

them over every other day for the first few weeks. If your friend has any

pets, she'd probably really appreciate if you stopped by her home and cared

for them. Practical things like that really made a difference for me. Also

offering rides to post-op doctors appointments, or to pick up prescriptions

or milk or whatever.

Thanks for being such a good friend.

Jill

At 06:53 AM 2/6/2003 +0000, you wrote:

>My friend goes in for surgery on Feb 12th. IIRC its a radical

>mastecotmy with immediate reconstruction and some sort of skin

>expander installed... they're doing more chemo after that, dunno if

>they're doin radiation or not yet.

>

>My question is if there is anything I can do to help her out that

>day. I'm getting off work and going to the hospital about a hour

>before she gets out of surgery to help chill her mom out and be there

>for her boyfriend who, I'm sure, is going to feel a wee bit out of

>place. I know she's gonna be pretty zonked out most the day, just

>wanted to know if you guys had any insight on " i wish i'd had <this>

>the day of/after surgery " .

>

>Hope all of you are continuing to do well!

>-Jenn

>

>

>

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My family and friends were wonderful...only my family came to the

hospital except one friend (an older lady) who came and sat and sat

and sat. I knew she cared or she wouldn't be there but I was

nauseated and did not want to throw up in front of her. By the time

she left the nausea had passed but I was miserable for a while. I

would advise you to pop in for just a minute or two and let her know

that you are available. You might give her a small notebook with your

name and number on it just in case...sometimes right after surgery,

our minds don't function as well as they should and we can't remember

numbers. (Hey, I have that problem even without surgery) but don't

stay too long unless she asks you to stay. The time you can really

help the most will be when she goes home so be ready to be a friend

then...As for her mother and boyfriend, by all means try to get them

to go for at least coffee or a cold drink if you can. Having one's

mom there is sometimes too emotional for a patient. And the mom will

need to take a break anyway. You sound like the kind of friend I like

to have...keep on with what you are doing. doris

> My friend goes in for surgery on Feb 12th. IIRC its a radical

> mastecotmy with immediate reconstruction and some sort of skin

> expander installed... they're doing more chemo after that, dunno if

> they're doin radiation or not yet.

>

> My question is if there is anything I can do to help her out that

> day. I'm getting off work and going to the hospital about a hour

> before she gets out of surgery to help chill her mom out and be there

> for her boyfriend who, I'm sure, is going to feel a wee bit out of

> place. I know she's gonna be pretty zonked out most the day, just

> wanted to know if you guys had any insight on " i wish i'd had <this>

> the day of/after surgery " .

>

> Hope all of you are continuing to do well!

> -Jenn

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