NCC:funny/ Absenteeism Policy

[Guest guest]

> Subject: Absenteeism Policy

>

>

> >

> > some dicatorial-minded individual with a warped sense of

humour sent

this

> on

> > to me.... I thought it was worth a Y2K laugh

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > NOTICE TO EMPLOYEES

> > (INCLUDING PART-TIME)

> >

> > Sickness:

> > We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof.

We believe

> that

> > if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work.

> >

> > Leave of Absence for Surgery:

> > We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are

employed

> here,

> > you will need all of whatever you have and should not

consider having

> > anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have

anything removed

> > would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone

having

> > operations will be FIRED immediately.

> >

> > Pregnancy:

> > Inthe event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go

to the first

> aid

> > room when the pains are FIVE MINUTES apart. IF it is false

labour, you

> will

> > have to take an hour's leave without pay.

> >

> > DEATH:

> > This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two

weeks notice,

as

> > we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job.

> >

> > From,

> > THE MANAGEMENT