Re: perfectionism with cooking

[Guest guest]

I get that too. I recall many occasions in the kitchen with nada (aka

momster) either getting hassled for making a mess or just simply

ignoring me in a different room and not answering my sensible

questions about a recipe/meal and then later raging at me for getting

it wrong?!? I was 11 or 12 learning to cook.

I hate the kitchen. I like to cook. But I hate the associated stress

that I seem to have picked up with it, a flea I suppose?

She use to either burn or undecook things, and enforce that we ate it

even when she didn't and sat there picking at her meals. Meal times

were horrific. No wonder I have problems with food!!

I recal one time as a teen when after nada finished painting the

kitchen entirely (with water resistant stinky oil paint !) she filled

up the cupboards with homemade biscuits/cakes etc (in tins or plastic

containers) immediately after the paint was dry and they (the food)

were literally tainted with the fumes of paint. She use to go beserk

if we didn't eat them, even though they were awful - and possibly toxic!

I worry so much when I cook a meal that its ok for DH & our kids. I do

feel some rejection when my DH says its too much or not enough of

something (i.e. salt) but he says it in such a nice way that it can't

be taken badly, its no criticism but still I feel bad. However I do

tend to try my hardest at cooking something properly and if its not up

to my taste then why should I let anyone else I love eat it? That's

not perfectionism is it?

I also recal that one time as an adult I came home and saw some meat

on the counter defrosting, my grandmother and young sister were there

and I asked nada if she wanted me to help with the meal. And then

asked what she would like me to prepare with the meat. She got pissy

and said that I should know, I'm an adult etc (the whole

read-my-mind-you-should-know tactic) so I answered as calm and

reasonable as I could that " sorry but I can't read your mind, if there

is something you would like me to cook with it i.e. bolognese sauce

then please tell me, simply tell me what you want " she went absolutely

NUTS at that yelled and screamed and stormed out of the house.

Grandmother/nana, my sister and I just looked completely stunned at

one-another and nana said " I think shes upset " Nah really?!? I

couldn't figure out then why or what over because in my mind if I said

this to another adult the response would surely have been different.

flaming nutty nadas!! fry them all in a pan and be done with 'em!