Guest guest Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Fighting for your life is the perfect phrase. I wish I had stood up for myself and cut off contact years ago so that I could move on and have a happy, content, and peaceful life. I am 37 and have finally taken steps to do so. xoxox Dorian > I am sorry to hear of your pain, but I do understand it is like > fighting for your life. This place helps us to find our back to self. > Take care of yourself, > Malinda > > In WTOAdultChildren1 , " luckybluejay " <blue- > jay11@...> wrote: > > > > I am just putting together some of the pieces again for myself, and > I > > have reached some conclusions for myself. I like to write them > here > > becuase it makes them stronger in my own mind, and I like to be as > > strong as possible. Over the holidays, my nada completely violated > > every boundary I had made with her. She also dominated every > > conversation that went on around her. I finally realized that she > > looks to me for validation--if I say it is ok, then it is. If I > > don't, then it isn't. She is ok as a person based on what I do or > > don't do. That is too big of a load for me to carry and I am not > > going to carry it anymore. I feel like she wants me to be absorbed > > into her and I don't want to be absorbed. I want to live my own > > beautiful life, not hers. Also, she is extremely needy. When she > > has a problem she likes to talk at me ad infinitum. She gets pissy > > with me and refuses to recognize my own personhool. She also has > > hidden ways to look for validation--for instance, she feels > validated > > if I visit her. However, no amount would ever be enough. I just > saw > > her at Christmas, and now she wants MLK day. Eee gads! Enough is > > enough. I am so freaking tired of all of this, and I am angry. > She > > no longer gets to get validated from me. She no longer gets to > push > > me aside and think of me as a non-person to her person. I mean she > > might still do that, but I am not going to do that. I am just > really > > upset right now. > > > > I am fighting for my life. That's what it feels like. I want to > > have my own self. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 You do deserve your own life; its not your purpose in life to be fed upon by your emotional vampire of a nada. We each as individuals are responsible for our own happiness, or lack of it. Nada has two good legs and she needs to walk on them, not ride on your back until you collapse under the burden. If you leave her to find her own way, she *will* find somebody else to drain dry, don't worry. Go have your own life, you only get one. (Well, according to my religion, anyway. If I thought there was even a possibility that I would reincarnate into another kid of a mentally ill person, I think I'd opt for slug or donkey or something.) -Annie > > I am just putting together some of the pieces again for myself, and I > have reached some conclusions for myself. I like to write them here > becuase it makes them stronger in my own mind, and I like to be as > strong as possible. Over the holidays, my nada completely violated > every boundary I had made with her. She also dominated every > conversation that went on around her. I finally realized that she > looks to me for validation--if I say it is ok, then it is. If I > don't, then it isn't. She is ok as a person based on what I do or > don't do. That is too big of a load for me to carry and I am not > going to carry it anymore. I feel like she wants me to be absorbed > into her and I don't want to be absorbed. I want to live my own > beautiful life, not hers. Also, she is extremely needy. When she > has a problem she likes to talk at me ad infinitum. She gets pissy > with me and refuses to recognize my own personhool. She also has > hidden ways to look for validation--for instance, she feels validated > if I visit her. However, no amount would ever be enough. I just saw > her at Christmas, and now she wants MLK day. Eee gads! Enough is > enough. I am so freaking tired of all of this, and I am angry. She > no longer gets to get validated from me. She no longer gets to push > me aside and think of me as a non-person to her person. I mean she > might still do that, but I am not going to do that. I am just really > upset right now. > > I am fighting for my life. That's what it feels like. I want to > have my own self. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Lol~ a slug or a donkey -- that's great! > > > > I am just putting together some of the pieces again for myself, and I > > have reached some conclusions for myself. I like to write them here > > becuase it makes them stronger in my own mind, and I like to be as > > strong as possible. Over the holidays, my nada completely violated > > every boundary I had made with her. She also dominated every > > conversation that went on around her. I finally realized that she > > looks to me for validation--if I say it is ok, then it is. If I > > don't, then it isn't. She is ok as a person based on what I do or > > don't do. That is too big of a load for me to carry and I am not > > going to carry it anymore. I feel like she wants me to be absorbed > > into her and I don't want to be absorbed. I want to live my own > > beautiful life, not hers. Also, she is extremely needy. When she > > has a problem she likes to talk at me ad infinitum. She gets pissy > > with me and refuses to recognize my own personhool. She also has > > hidden ways to look for validation--for instance, she feels validated > > if I visit her. However, no amount would ever be enough. I just saw > > her at Christmas, and now she wants MLK day. Eee gads! Enough is > > enough. I am so freaking tired of all of this, and I am angry. She > > no longer gets to get validated from me. She no longer gets to push > > me aside and think of me as a non-person to her person. I mean she > > might still do that, but I am not going to do that. I am just really > > upset right now. > > > > I am fighting for my life. That's what it feels like. I want to > > have my own self. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 You ARE fighting for your life! Take it back! It is YOUR life, after all! Best wishes -- it sounds like you're headed in the right direction. > > I am just putting together some of the pieces again for myself, and I > have reached some conclusions for myself. I like to write them here > becuase it makes them stronger in my own mind, and I like to be as > strong as possible. Over the holidays, my nada completely violated > every boundary I had made with her. She also dominated every > conversation that went on around her. I finally realized that she > looks to me for validation--if I say it is ok, then it is. If I > don't, then it isn't. She is ok as a person based on what I do or > don't do. That is too big of a load for me to carry and I am not > going to carry it anymore. I feel like she wants me to be absorbed > into her and I don't want to be absorbed. I want to live my own > beautiful life, not hers. Also, she is extremely needy. When she > has a problem she likes to talk at me ad infinitum. She gets pissy > with me and refuses to recognize my own personhool. She also has > hidden ways to look for validation--for instance, she feels validated > if I visit her. However, no amount would ever be enough. I just saw > her at Christmas, and now she wants MLK day. Eee gads! Enough is > enough. I am so freaking tired of all of this, and I am angry. She > no longer gets to get validated from me. She no longer gets to push > me aside and think of me as a non-person to her person. I mean she > might still do that, but I am not going to do that. I am just really > upset right now. > > I am fighting for my life. That's what it feels like. I want to > have my own self. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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