was: We are here to learn...my personal thoughts

[Guest guest]

The current topic of discussion is actually not the pros

> and cons of abortion. The topic has to due with the health of an

> individual that needs to weight the pros and cons of her health for

the

> well-being of the four children that she has now and any others

that she

> may have in the future.

Hello group:

I don't post often in this group since I am very new here, but I just

wanted to voice my thoughts quickly on this subject and hope not to

offend anyone. I agree with the person who wrote above that this

person has to think of her health & the well-being of her four

children that she has now to make the appropriate decision in this

scary time.

My thoughts though, and maybe others haven't thought of this, is that

if she is able to carry the baby to term without endangering her own

life but doesn't think she can financially and/or emotionally care

for another child, is perhaps she can put the child up for adoption.

Adoption doesn't necessarily mean you could never see the child

again. A relative or close friend might be interested in adopting

the child so you could still have a part in the child's life. There

is also " open " adoption where you maintain contact through letters

and pictures so you can watch the child grow up and have the peace of

knowing he/she is being cared for and loved.

I am adopted myself and when I got married to my first husband and

started trying to have my own children, I never thought I'd have any

problems. After well over 6 years of fertility treatments, we

finally gave up. Then we started looking into adoption and to get an

infant would require YEARS, at least five, of being on a waiting

list. You could get an infant quicker of course through private

adoption, at a cost of at least $10,000. Children are precious

gifts, and having been unable to have any myself, it grieves my heart

whenever I hear someone talking of abortion. In the past I have

known of two friends of mine having abortions and when they told me

they were going to do that I told them I would adopt the child, but

they said they couldn't have a child and not keep it. That didn't

make sense to me, maybe it does to someone else?? I am re-married

now to a wonderful man who would make a very loving father, but alas

I am 40 now, have polycystic ovarian syndrome, diabetes and

hypothyroid and the chances of us having a child are about one in a

million. If we could afford it we would adopt, and perhaps that is

something we will do in the future, but as I get older I am not sure

that's the right decision for us as well as a baby. Adopting an

older child has also been a topic of discussion, but not until I get

my thyroid and diabetes better under control.

Let me say though that if the mother's health is in danger then I

agree that an abortion is in order. However, if the child can be

carried without endangering her life, but the reason she wants the

abortion is simply because it's inconvenient for her to be pregnant

at the time she is, then I feel that is selfish to abort the baby.

I certainly hope that I can continue to be a part of this group and

that I have not said anything that would offend the co-owners or

other group members. I have been learning a lot from the posts about

my thyroid disorder and because of what I've been learning I am going

to my doctor again next week and demanding some more tests be done.

I have never had a Free T3 or Free T4 test done. I went back through

my medical records over the past several years and the only thyroid

test I could find was a TSH and it was well within the normal limits

after starting me on Levoxyl. But I still have a LOT of the symptoms

everyone on here talks about. Right now I am painfully dealing with

my feet cracking open and bleeding and it is so painful to walk from

that and the pain in my knees. Yes I am overweight and I know that

contributes to the pain in walking, but I'm not sure I have arthritis

now which I have been taking Vioxx for for over three years now. I'm

wondering now if it's pain in my joints from thyroid problems.

I don't want to offend anyone here, but just offer an option that

perhaps others have not thought of. I believe that God understands

and forgives and I wish peace for this person in whatever decision

she makes regarding this.

Karla

[Guest guest]

Karla, the points that you bring up are very valid.. for some this

circumstance, finances, is also a consideration. To combine stressed

finances due to health issues, and then add the addition of an unexpected

pregnancy can be horrible.... but the three women that are facing this

that I've had contact with, all face this as a health issue as it relates

to family, now and future.

One, remember has a marriage coming and this discussion is of importance

to her as she needs to be aware of possibilities as it relates to her

thyroid condition (I can't go into more detail then that without

compromising her privacy... I won't do that to anyone that contacts me

off list when I've been asked to be respectful... I won't even tell my

co-owner Feisty . Even though I trust her completely... because I

won't break my word when asked to keep something private. I may discuss

generalizations that will aid in reaching answers sought, but no

specifics that will identify these two individuals that chose to remain

private.)

heheheh I have such a strong opinion that when Feisty and I were in

IM this morning discussing this I had to excuse myself and just ran down

the whole list of my opinionated comments on the subject, just so that I

could let them blow out of me without posting to the group.. They are my

opinions and, well... I do spout of at times when my feelings are

strong... but in this case... the issue is increasing the knowledge

required for these three women to make the best choices that they can for

themselves, their current families and their future families.

My personal views have nothing to do with any of it...

Why do I feel so strongly about that...? The doctor that told me that I

was 'too fat to be sick' when I went into thyroid storm. He never even

tested me. I had OBVIOUS symptoms of hyperthyroidism. He noted them in my

chart. But did not test me because " she is too fat to be sick " . His

opinion nearly cost me my life. His opinion did cost me my thyroid gland

(killed by RAI). I was not allowed choices because of a doctor's personal

opinion.

I was in my early thirties... I lost my chance to have children. I lost a

good chunk of my life (due to the following decade of under treated

hypothyroidism resulting from the RAI resulting from his opinion that I

was 'too fat to be sick')

I don't ever want anyone to have to go through what I did... Unable to

make choices based on knowledge. To make choices based on fear of the

unknown and/or the opinions of others, is wrong.

Knowledge is power. Let's work together, with our combined experiences

and research (as it pertains to thyroid disorders and health) to give

these women the knowledge, the power to make the best choices that they

can.

They will LIVE with the choices that they make.. for us... it's just a

little bit of time out of our lives to discuss a topic of debate........

So.... I keep my opinions to myself as it concerns the topic... and

strive to extend a hand in SUPPORT as they struggle and learn.

My family was broken up when I was an infant. I'm 46 years old right now.

My half sibs found me in 1999. We'd been apart for more than 40 years...

We met for the first time in Florida in August of 2000. I was the second

youngest of the group. My full brother is the youngest. We were born in

Germany, and so far seem to have been raised all over the world. One

remained in Germany, taken in by a single woman as a foster child. Four

were raised in Florida, by two different families. One was raised in

Texas, another in Colorado, another in Hawaii.... two others have not yet

been located. Two of the ones that have been located died before they

were found, but we've located their children.

I know what my mom went through during those very hard years in Germany

after the war, she spent her teenaged years in concentration camps,

because she was 1/2 Polish. She was turned in by a family member, who did

it to save her own neck. My mom lost her entire family.. she never saw

them again. Then, years later, had to give away her own children....

because she could not care for them.

.... even adoption has touched me...not as directly as some... but I'm not

naive to what it does to the parent that gives up a child.. or the child

that is given up. I've spoken with my half sibs, raised in another

country, or other states, by different parents... and got to hear what

they thought of having been put up for adoption..... I talked with my

mother, and what it meant to her..... To my father and what it meant to

him.

Mom died before us kids all found each other... She never got to see them

all grown up. They never got to know her. For her, the best choice was to

find good homes for her children, and to let them go on with their

lives... She stepped back to allow them to have uncomplicated lives and

to find a way to go on with her own. To spare others pain, she never

told. Until just a few months before she died. She told me, I thought my

brother and I were her only children! She told me so that after she was

gone, and dad was gone, that if the secret ever came out someone would

know what really happened. I kept her secret for nearly 10 years... and

only told when the others contacted us.

sigh... my mom and dad are awesome people... I say that in present tense,

even though my mom has been gone more than a decade. Because I still

believe that under the circumstances that she faced in the 40s and 50s in

Germany... that she is still awesome....

Topper ()

PROUD co-owner of The Thyroid SUPPORT Group

On Sun, 25 Jan 2004 14:51:20 -0000 " Karla "

writes:

> The current topic of discussion is actually not the pros

> > and cons of abortion. The topic has to due with the health of an

> > individual that needs to weight the pros and cons of her health

> for the

> > well-being of the four children that she has now and any others

> that she may have in the future.

>

> Hello group:

>

> I don't post often in this group since I am very new here, but I

> just

> wanted to voice my thoughts quickly on this subject and hope not to

> offend anyone. I agree with the person who wrote above that this

> person has to think of her health & the well-being of her four

> children that she has now to make the appropriate decision in this

> scary time.

>

> My thoughts though, and maybe others haven't thought of this, is

> that

> if she is able to carry the baby to term without endangering her own

> life but doesn't think she can financially and/or emotionally care

> for another child, is perhaps she can put the child up for adoption.

< snipped for brevity - not censorship >

[Guest guest]

I need to clarify something... I didn't lose my ability to have kids

because of the RAI... I just got too sick for the thought of having kids

to even be something to consider.....

Topper ()

On Sun, 25 Jan 2004 09:53:33 -0600 topper2@... writes:

> I was in my early thirties... I lost my chance to have children. I

> lost a

> good chunk of my life (due to the following decade of under treated

> hypothyroidism resulting from the RAI resulting from his opinion

> that I was 'too fat to be sick')

[Guest guest]

**** snip ****

> My personal views have nothing to do with any of it...

>

> Why do I feel so strongly about that...? The doctor that told me

that I

> was 'too fat to be sick' when I went into thyroid storm. He never

even

> tested me. I had OBVIOUS symptoms of hyperthyroidism. He noted them

in my

> chart. But did not test me because " she is too fat to be sick " . His

> opinion nearly cost me my life. His opinion did cost me my thyroid

gland

> (killed by RAI). I was not allowed choices because of a doctor's

personal

> opinion.

>

I am on several fat acceptance lists and remember reading a year or

so ago about one of the gals on the list finally being diagnosed with

Graves disease after very nearly dying because the doctor she was

going to at the time said she was too fat to have Graves. If your

doctor is not treating your symptoms because of your weight, it's

high time to find a new doctor. Call the local docs offices and

question the receptionist about how fat patients are accomodated.

You most certainly can do that and you might actually find the doc

that's right for you. The most important thing to remember is that

doctors are not God. They work FOR you and you can fire them if they

don't treat you properly. I can get on my soapbox for a long time on

this particular subject, but I think most of us already know that, so

I'd be preaching to the choir. )

Kathy >^,,^<

KitzCat146 @ aol.com