GUILT

[Guest guest]

I kind of feel the same way. My 10 month old baby just got her helmet

3 weeks ago, and I also feel guilty. I was told she might need a

helmet at about 6 months, but my ped never really inpressed upon me how

urgent it was, he was also casual and I thought it was not a big deal.

All the Drs are telling me that is not too late and that she can make

good progress now. It sounds to me, when you understood what was going

on, you got your child the appropriate help. Try not to blame

yourself. Based on the info you had at the time, you made the right

choices. If anything, it sounds like your Dr needed to be more

vigilant with your son. It's normal for parents to second guess

themselves, I do it all the time. You did what you could at the time,

and you have to not worry about the future. Worry about that when you

get there.

Mandy

>

> My son is almost 2 1/2 yrs old. The pediatrician noticed plagio with

> him when he was about 12 wks old. She was very casual about it even

> when it looked like it was getting worse. She never told me that

> there was treatment except for repositioning, which was impossible

> after he started moving more. When he was 10 months old I did

> research and found there was treatment available, changed

> pediatricians and got him fitted with a helmet soon before his 1st

> birthday. He wore it for a few months and there was some

improvement,

> but I worry about how flat the back of his head is, the way it sticks

> out on the sides, and the long term health problems he may have.

> I am still dealing with the guilt around not having him treated

> earlier. Can anybody relate?

> Margaret

>

[Guest guest]

I've had the same feelings. I don't know how I got over it, I guess I

just did with time... and my DD has only had her band for a week.

Deep down you know you didn't do anything to cause it.

My Mom and a few of her friends were talking last week and my Mom told

them about my DD getting her band. The other Mom's agreed that they

were all happy that they had their babies in the tummy sleeping era...

cause they don't know how they'd deal with tummy time either. So

we're not alone! lol

~Margie

Mom to in OH

>

> just went to his first appointment and will be getting a

band

> in the near future. Is it just me or does everyone feel like a bad

> parent who messed up their kid? I am sick of reading about how

> important tummy time is. I did my best. How do I get over the

guilt

> of feeling this is my falt?

>

[Guest guest]

All I can say is that there is so little info given to parents about plagio to begin with. Most of us never knew it was a condition until our little ones had it. Just keep telling yourself that you are doing whatever you can to "fix" it, and none of us would have "let" this hapen to our kids. I think once the sticker-shock (so to speak) wears off, you will probably feel better about it. It took me a long time to get over it, but really when put into perspective, it's not so bad. HTH. Candace, AZ mommy to Tiernan, 5.5 mos tort, plagiotraglomom <traglomom@...> wrote: just went to his first appointment and will be getting a band in the near future. Is it just me or does everyone feel like a bad parent who messed up their kid? I am sick of reading about how important tummy time is. I did my best. How do I get over the guilt of feeling this is my falt?

Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business.

[Guest guest]

Unfortunately we all have this feeling. I really wish that I knew more

before my daughter was born, or that our ped gave us more info when we

asked about our dd flat head at her 2 mo check, but in the end I am

just glad that we found out in time to do something. She just

graduated from her band. I used to tell her " sorry we ruined your

head " . Now I can also say " ... but we fixed it! " .

-christine mom to sydney/ 10 mo/ starband grad 10/06

>

> just went to his first appointment and will be getting a band

> in the near future. Is it just me or does everyone feel like a bad

> parent who messed up their kid? I am sick of reading about how

> important tummy time is. I did my best. How do I get over the guilt

> of feeling this is my falt?

>

[Guest guest]

i'm knew to this whole thing and i feel guilty too. My son (7mos

old) just got his helmet on Monday. He slept w/it for the first

time last night and had such a hard time gettting comfy and just

seemed miserable. I just kept telling him I'm sorry we messed up

your head, we are trying to fix it for you. I' know it is not our

fault, jsut feels like it is.

> >

> > just went to his first appointment and will be getting a

band

> > in the near future. Is it just me or does everyone feel like a

bad

> > parent who messed up their kid? I am sick of reading about how

> > important tummy time is. I did my best. How do I get over the

guilt

> > of feeling this is my falt?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I had SO much guilt in the beginning. It was all I thought about

(borderline obsessed!) about for 2 months. I went back and forth

about if I should go thru with the helmet, etc. I felt awful if

I 'did that to him', but knew deep down he wouldn't have

gotten 'better after a while'. Once we went to a consult and the

helmet was ordered I felt alot better. I was finally doing something

about it. Now that he's been out of it for a while, I don't even

think about it much.

I have twins and they both hated tummy time. I didn't push it. For

the first 3 months I was mostly worried about them gaining weight and

their feeding schedule. In my case he seemed to look fine then wham-

the next day it was there. I was mortified and felt like an awful

mother. Anyway, I could go on and on, but know you are not along.....

Be proud that you are doing something about it, you are a fantastic

mommy for watching out for your son.

It will all be ok in the end, right? When you notice the first

improvement, you will feel a huge relief, your heart will feel so

much 'lighter'. You're a sweet mommy for taking care of your son.

> just went to his first appointment and will be

getting a band

> in the near future. Is it just me or does everyone feel like a bad

> parent who messed up their kid? I am sick of reading about how

> important tummy time is. I did my best. How do I get over the guilt

> of feeling this is my falt?

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small

Business.

>

[Guest guest]

--- Hi,

We all have the " Mommy Guilt " , that someway, somehow we did this to our

child. There is no info about this out there for us to " Know " about

it. I get so mad every time they say something on the news about SIDS

and back to sleep and tummy time, they never say anything about plagio

or tort. When Jenna first got her helmet she was so miserable and I

would just cry with her. But over a couple of days she got adjusted to

it and things were better. They probably wonder why we are putting

this thing on there head. But it will take time for adjustment and

then after a couple of days all is well. Jenna has been in her helmet

for 8 weeks now and is doing very well with it. So it does get better.

Best of luck to you and try not to beat yourself up too much. I was

there but now I've gotten past that and know what I am doing is best

for Jenna to fix this problem.

Good luck,

Tina Mama to Jenna

In Plagiocephaly , " traglomom " <traglomom@...> wrote:

>

> just went to his first appointment and will be getting a band

> in the near future. Is it just me or does everyone feel like a bad

> parent who messed up their kid? I am sick of reading about how

> important tummy time is. I did my best. How do I get over the guilt

> of feeling this is my falt?

>

[Guest guest]

My son also missed out on life's adventurers with mom

It's a huge burden of guilt that I carry inside my heart.

I will never be able to replace lost time with my son being a little boy

because of my selfish choices of getting stupid saline implants.

I could not get out of bed and many times my son could not wake me up.

My son would always help me because I could not even dress myself at all.

What a nightmare these saline implants turned out to be.

Instead of being a little boy he had to be this little man at a very young age

Here I am seven years later and still no medical help in removing these capsules

which are poisoning my body every step of the way. I am to crippled to travel

even if I had the money.

My body has turned into flab because I am to sick to exercise like I once did

Money ??? $ O.OOO

We barely can work anymore because of what Safe Saline Implants did to our bodies !!

THANK YOU MANUFACTURERS FOR DESTROYING OUR IMMUNE SYSTEMS

AND PUTTING OUR CHILDREN IN HARMS WAY...

Sandy

Nan,

Amen to that!!!!!!!! I have been trying so hard and I also miss my workouts, walking, swimming and 8 mile bicycle rides. I know it will just take time to heal. I was never a patient person until implants. I had to learn to be patient and lay in bed board and sick. It is hard, but I am so relieved they are out of my body. I felt like you poisoned on a daily basis. I know it took me a year and 3 months to get like that so it may take that long to get better. It is a daily struggle to do normal things I once took for granted. I am so Thankful to be a little better and most of all that I found out the truth behind my sickness. I am trying to help others by warning them and telling my story. I know that already I have touched some lives and talked woman out of getting implants. I have a daughter who wanted implants. I told her I would get them if I liked them I would let her do it after she had children. I am glad it is me and not her and she will never get implants. My niece was determined to get implants. I have 30 nieces and nephews and 7 sisters, so right there I saved tons of lives and agony. I wanted implants for 10 years and always was a single Mother so couldn't afford them until later on in life. I felt really guilty for getting them since I could have done a little more for my children instead of doing for myself. I guess it was meant for some reason and I know God puts you in certain places at certain times. Maybe this is my calling to help other woman since there is not much more I can do now that I am sick. I was always so busy and in a hurry, that is not happening anymore. In fact I have never felt so unorginized in my whole life. I came to realize that my body is the way God made it and he is perfect and so am I. I have gotten over the whole wanting PS to fix my body. I will never get surgery unless it is life or death. I hope explant was my last surgery. I won't agree for anyone to touch my perfect self the way God created it. Know when I see a woman with breast implants I don't want them, I am scared for them. It has totally changed my life, I have learned so much from this experience. It is the worst mistake, decision I ever made in my life and I totally wish I could turn back time and know what I know now. Truth is we can't do that so we have to make due the best we can with what we have. I know I was lied to and that makes it no better to deal with. The part that I can't get over is the pain that I caused my Son at 11 years old, I missed out on 2 years of his life. I am all my Son has I was always Mom and Dad. Bought him a dirt bike with training wheels at three and me a quad. I got him into BMX racing and he was number one for the state of Ohio. I even started entering a few races with him, I entered 2 races and then the season ended. I got breast implants and the season was over for good. Hearing my Son begging me to get out of bed to play with him like I used to and seeing him bored just breaks my heart the most. The guilt from that is hard enough to deal with much less my sickness. Mom get up he would say, there is nothing wrong with you. I just couldn't do it. I felt so bad for this child and I will never be able to make it up to him and he could have really made something of himself racing. He loves it and misses it. I hope someday to get back on our bicycles, ride and laugh and say look at me you didn't take my life after all. This is only a dream!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ride like the wind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God Bless

Donna

..

[Guest guest]

Dearest Sandy:

Please do not feel guilty or selfish, this is not your fault. Your Son will grow up knowing how strong and brave you have been. When he is older, he will benifit from your knowledge of being informed about everything that you have been through.

We can feel your pain, because most of us have been through most all of what you have been through. I too, still have the capsules in my right breast and might never be able to have it removed.

Honey, just stay close to us...Love always........Lea

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

GUILT

My son also missed out on life's adventurers with mom

It's a huge burden of guilt that I carry inside my heart.

I will never be able to replace lost time with my son being a little boy

because of my selfish choices of getting stupid saline implants.

I could not get out of bed and many times my son could not wake me up.

My son would always help me because I could not even dress myself at all.

What a nightmare these saline implants turned out to be.

Instead of being a little boy he had to be this little man at a very young age

Here I am seven years later and still no medical help in removing these capsules

which are poisoning my body every step of the way. I am to crippled to travel

even if I had the money.

My body has turned into flab because I am to sick to exercise like I once did

Money ??? $ O.OOO

We barely can work anymore because of what Safe Saline Implants did to our bodies !!

THANK YOU MANUFACTURERS FOR DESTROYING OUR IMMUNE SYSTEMS

AND PUTTING OUR CHILDREN IN HARMS WAY...

Sandy

Nan,

Amen to that!!!!!!!! I have been trying so hard and I also miss my workouts, walking, swimming and 8 mile bicycle rides. I know it will just take time to heal. I was never a patient person until implants. I had to learn to be patient and lay in bed board and sick. It is hard, but I am so relieved they are out of my body. I felt like you poisoned on a daily basis. I know it took me a year and 3 months to get like that so it may take that long to get better. It is a daily struggle to do normal things I once took for granted. I am so Thankful to be a little better and most of all that I found out the truth behind my sickness. I am trying to help others by warning them and telling my story. I know that already I have touched some lives and talked woman out of getting implants. I have a daughter who wanted implants. I told her I would get them if I liked them I would let her do it after she had children. I am glad it is me and not her and she will never get implants. My niece was determined to get implants. I have 30 nieces and nephews and 7 sisters, so right there I saved tons of lives and agony. I wanted implants for 10 years and always was a single Mother so couldn't afford them until later on in life. I felt really guilty for getting them since I could have done a little more for my children instead of doing for myself. I guess it was meant for some reason and I know God puts you in certain places at certain times. Maybe this is my calling to help other woman since there is not much more I can do now that I am sick. I was always so busy and in a hurry, that is not happening anymore. In fact I have never felt so unorginized in my whole life. I came to realize that my body is the way God made it and he is perfect and so am I. I have gotten over the whole wanting PS to fix my body. I will never get surgery unless it is life or death. I hope explant was my last surgery. I won't agree for anyone to touch my perfect self the way God created it. Know when I see a woman with breast implants I don't want them, I am scared for them. It has totally changed my life, I have learned so much from this experience. It is the worst mistake, decision I ever made in my life and I totally wish I could turn back time and know what I know now. Truth is we can't do that so we have to make due the best we can with what we have. I know I was lied to and that makes it no better to deal with. The part that I can't get over is the pain that I caused my Son at 11 years old, I missed out on 2 years of his life. I am all my Son has I was always Mom and Dad. Bought him a dirt bike with training wheels at three and me a quad. I got him into BMX racing and he was number one for the state of Ohio. I even started entering a few races with him, I entered 2 races and then the season ended. I got breast implants and the season was over for good. Hearing my Son begging me to get out of bed to play with him like I used to and seeing him bored just breaks my heart the most. The guilt from that is hard enough to deal with much less my sickness. Mom get up he would say, there is nothing wrong with you. I just couldn't do it. I felt so bad for this child and I will never be able to make it up to him and he could have really made something of himself racing. He loves it and misses it. I hope someday to get back on our bicycles, ride and laugh and say look at me you didn't take my life after all. This is only a dream!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ride like the wind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God Bless

Donna

..

[Guest guest]

Hello. i'm so sorry you feel so terrible about this. It's not your

fault! SOOO many Doctors these days are so passive about it and tell

parents ALL THE TIME that the head will " round out on its own " when

this just isn't often the case. There are other therapies that some

people have tried and had some success to help with remaining plagio

and/or plagio that was never treated. You may want to go onto the

older Plagio group and see if you can get some info on this. Here is

the link: OlderPlag/

My Daughter just turned 3, and although she did wear a band from 7mo

til 10mo, and received great correction, I still sometimes stress

over the little bit of remaining plagio and asymmetry. But.... i try

to focus on how far she came from how bad her head was innitially.

The improvement was great!

Do you think that others would notice his head shape? I think that

often times, as Mothers, we notice evert tiny little detail and it

isn't even something that anyone else but us would notice.

Good luck and I hope that you can find the peace that you are looking

for.

Jen

(3 years), tort resolved, Hanger Band Grad

(5 1/2 years)

>

> Dear All,

> I know I need to move on... but I'm still obsessed with my son's

plagio

> and he's 3 years old. My partner thinks he looks just fine, but to

me

> he looks, well, deformed. I tell myself that he is healthy and

looks

> just fine I should be grateful, but I feel so badly that I didn't

do

> more to fix his head. My ped noticed that my kids (they're twins)

had

> flat spots early on, but just mentioned repositioning as if it was

no

> big deal. Of course, they just flopped their heads to the flat

spots.

> sure they did their tummy time, but I was so tired, so out of it,

they

> also spent a lot of time in carseats, swings and their reclining

> highchairs (I often nursed while I pushed the other baby back and

forth

> with my feet - they were pretty fussy). Then when his head started

> looking really bad, my ped just said his head would stay that way -

> this was at 6 months old - when I should have been starting helmet

> therapy. I cried about it, but just tried to " get over it " . I

tried

> using a head cushion, but he just rolled out of it. then i finally

did

> some research when he was 11 months old, switched peds, and he wore

a

> helmet for a couple months, which helped some. I just wish

someone,

> like my ped, would have helped me out here. I'm so mad/sad about

it, I

> don't know how to let go -- any suggestions, help!

>

[Guest guest]

hi jen this is the other kate's mom- quick question - did the eye assym get better. kate is on my lap so cant type well or long

laura

Re: Guilt

Hello. i'm so sorry you feel so terrible about this. It's not your

fault! SOOO many Doctors these days are so passive about it and tell

parents ALL THE TIME that the head will "round out on its own" when

this just isn't often the case. There are other therapies that some

people have tried and had some success to help with remaining plagio

and/or plagio that was never treated. You may want to go onto the

older Plagio group and see if you can get some info on this. Here is

the link: OlderPlag/

My Daughter just turned 3, and although she did wear a band from 7mo

til 10mo, and received great correction, I still sometimes stress

over the little bit of remaining plagio and asymmetry. But.... i try

to focus on how far she came from how bad her head was innitially.

The improvement was great!

Do you think that others would notice his head shape? I think that

often times, as Mothers, we notice evert tiny little detail and it

isn't even something that anyone else but us would notice.

Good luck and I hope that you can find the peace that you are looking

for.

Jen

(3 years), tort resolved, Hanger Band Grad

(5 1/2 years)

>

> Dear All,

> I know I need to move on... but I'm still obsessed with my son's

plagio

> and he's 3 years old. My partner thinks he looks just fine, but to

me

> he looks, well, deformed. I tell myself that he is healthy and

looks

> just fine I should be grateful, but I feel so badly that I didn't

do

> more to fix his head. My ped noticed that my kids (they're twins)

had

> flat spots early on, but just mentioned repositioning as if it was

no

> big deal. Of course, they just flopped their heads to the flat

spots.

> sure they did their tummy time, but I was so tired, so out of it,

they

> also spent a lot of time in carseats, swings and their reclining

> highchairs (I often nursed while I pushed the other baby back and

forth

> with my feet - they were pretty fussy). Then when his head started

> looking really bad, my ped just said his head would stay that way -

> this was at 6 months old - when I should have been starting helmet

> therapy. I cried about it, but just tried to "get over it". I

tried

> using a head cushion, but he just rolled out of it. then i finally

did

> some research when he was 11 months old, switched peds, and he wore

a

> helmet for a couple months, which helped some. I just wish

someone,

> like my ped, would have helped me out here. I'm so mad/sad about

it, I

> don't know how to let go -- any suggestions, help!

>

AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com.