Guest guest Posted August 20, 1999 Report Share Posted August 20, 1999 --- You wrote: There is also Yankee Candle not to far from North Hampton right??? Any other attractions nearby anyone is aware of???? Ok second BIG decision!!!!!!!The date, anyone have any suggestions??????? September, early October?????? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!! --- end of quote --- Yankee Candle is really fun - it looks as though you could easily spend the whole day there. There's an amusement park south of Northampton (I can't remember the name), I've also scoped out the accommodations there - there are some that are nice and reasonable. September (maybe mid September) is best for our family.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 1999 Report Share Posted August 20, 1999 --- You wrote: Thanks Phyllis, Eleanor & Terry for your ideas about our son that has low upper body muscle tone (we have always thought of ADD as hypreactivity - so maybe we need to look at this) AND to everyone else on the list it has been great to read your concerns. We are only very new to the list (lists in general) and finding our way - please let us know if we are doing anything not quite correct. --- end of quote --- Hi Mark and - I too wondered about ADD or ADHD with your child. I'm the mom to two hard of hearing boys - my older son is 7 and also has ADD and we think perhaps a fine motor problem. That's all coupled with a very high IQ - yikes! Tom's ADD is not the hyperactive type - he just won't " attend " . If it's something he doesn't like to do, it's like trying to catch a butterfly. He just flits from thing to thing, place to place or zones out. He's been on ritalin since May - we've had to tweak his dose - and it's helped. I think you'll probably hear from other parents on this list that ADD and hearing loss seem to go together often. We are having Tom evaluated by an occupational therapist when school starts to see if he indeed has fine motor skills problems (evidently THAT often goes hand in hand with ADD - sheesh!). Tommy mentioned to me the other day that he hopes his new teacher wont' make him write (he hates writing but is an incredible reader). I told him that he will be tested to see if there really are problems with his writing. He looked at me and said " You know mom, I have all these words in my head and I just can't get them out by writing them! " . I thought that was amazing for a 7 year old kid to know that about himself - hopefully we're on the road to helping him with this next challenge! Take care Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 1999 Report Share Posted August 20, 1999 I work with another nurse who heads up an alopecia (hair loss) support group in GA. I'll ask her if she knows of any link between hair loss and hearing loss. in GA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 1999 Report Share Posted August 20, 1999 Hi folks. Following is a long post I shared with another list. I've been " feeling your pain " especially as the " newer/younger " parents whose kids were just diagnosed share their hearts with us. This one article really shed a lot of light on things for me, so I'd like to share it with y'all. The article is in the " Volta Review " from AG Bell. This is their " scholarly " publication, not the magazine. It is a monograph entitled " Medical Aspects of Hearing Loss for the Consumer and the Professional. " It is packed with wonderful information and quite readable. But one chapter really effected me. The chapter is on the Emotional Aspects of Hearing Loss by Luterman, D.Ed. It has sections about the Deaf, parents, grandparents and child with hearing loss. Some really powerful stuff in here - so I'll quote. Lots of light bulbs went on for me! " Although most parents are fairly certain that their child is deaf when they go for testing, they are buoyed by the hope that they will be proven wrong. If their suspiscions are confirmed, they hope the medical profession will offer them a cure. When neither happens, the parent's first emotional experience is shock. This is a self protective response to an overwhelming situation. In shock, we cut off our emotions from our cognition. Parents report feeling as if they were in a dream or out of body experience .... " " When they do find a safe place, they will experience the grief. At times the pain is overwhelming. This is a permanent loss ... As one father put it, " when you find out your child is deaf it hurts like hell. Then it becomes a dull ache that never goes away. " This core of pain cannot be taken away; it must be acknowledged, and the parents need space and time to actively mourn their loss before moving on. Parents are usually afforded few outlets for expressing their pain. Friends and family in their immediate environment are eager to make the parents feel better but in the process they invalidate the parents feelings. This causes them to feel lonely, isolated and guilt ridden because their expressions of pain are causing pain to others. They need the cathartic experience of expressing their pain in a safe, caring environment. As one mother said to me after she had vented her feelings in a parent support group, " I still have the same feelings but they don't control me anymore. " > > " Another response that arises very quickly in the grief process is the >feeling of inadequacy. ... Parents tend to want to turn over their >responsibiliity for their child to a professional in order to ensure a good >result. Unfortunately, many professionals are too willing to assume this >role and thus infantilize the parents. ... the Annie Sullivan Effect. When >this happens, no one benefits in the long term because the professionals' >assumption of responsibility reinforces the parent's feelings of >inadequacy. " ( Sounds to me like these are the parents who trust, obey and >worship school systems!) > >The feeling of anger also emerges. ... Anger also emerges from a loss of >control. ... Anger also functions to mask fear. It is a primitive >survival response that mobilizes all of the body's resources. ... >Unfortunately, many professionals are very much afraid of the parents' >anger and defend themselves by isolating the parents. The " trick " in >dealing with angry parents is to get them to talk about and recognize their >fear and their failed expectations. Also angry parents are the ones who get things done; anger produces energy that needs to be mobilized and directed >at appropriate sources. " > > " Guilt is a common response that emerges only when the parents feel they are in an emotionally safe place. ... can lead to overdedicated and >overprotective parents. The parent says, in effect, " I let something bad >happen to you once and I'm not going to let it happen again. " ... NOt only is she driven by guilt, but also by a recognition of vulnerability - >something bad has happened and could happen again. ... OVerprotection of >hearing impaired children has been the single biggest deterrent to creating >responsible adults. " > > " the mother's guilt can endanger her marriage and can cause her to spend >less time with her other children. ... Invariablly the marriage is at risk. >... Deafness does not have to divide families. It can strengthen marriage >bonds if the parents work together to alleviate the effects of the hearing >impairment. If they include all their children and are sensitive to >everyone's needs, the family can grow together. Family counseling in early intervention programs can pay huge dividends in the later years. We have >found that taking good care of the parents benefits the children >immensely... " > > " Parents who have confidence in themselves will make good decisions for >their children. " " She (Schlessinger 1992) found that the best predictor of >literacy for children who are deaf or hard of hearing at the third grade >level was the empowerment of the mother. This factor was more important >than the degree of hearing loss, socioeconomic status, or educational >methodology. This finding confirms my own observation that if we have a >self-confident parent we will have a well adjusted child who performs well, >and methodology becomes irrelevant. " > > " The grandparent's role is also severely impacted. Grandparents are often >stuck in denial because both their child and grandchild are experiencing >this difficulty. Very frequently, communication between the parents and >grandparents is strained. ... Parents often come to resent the role >reversal that occurs when dealing with a child who is deaf or hard of >hearing. Very often the grandparents are left out of the informational loop that parents experience in dealing with audiologists, otologists and >teachers. Consequently they fall far behind the parents in their knowledge >and coping abilities. When this happens, the parents frequently have to >assume a parental role to their parents and deeply resent the time and >energy spent iforming and reassuring their parents, when they themselves >are wanting and needing emotional support. ... " > > " I have come to see deafness not as a tragedy but as a powerful teacher that helps transform people. ... I have found that, with counseling and time, a wonderful transformation takes place: The feelings of inadquacy and >confusion are the spurs to learning, the anger becomes the energy to make >changes, the guilt becomes commitment, and the grief becomes a sadness that intensifies all feelings and that enable us to participate and enjoy what we have. It brings to us the recognition that we are all vulnerable to loss. " > > " In a professional lifetime of listening to people who are deaf or hard of >hearing and their families, these are some of the things I have learned: >1. Feelings just are. They are neither good nor bad, they just need >acknowledgement. Behavior can be judged as to wthher it is accomplishing >its goal. >2. Clients are able to take care of themselves. We have all sorts of >mechanisms to protect us from our pain. >3. " Rescuing " families invariably leads to a dependent client and is not >helpful to the client in the long run. >4. There is never any need to pity people who are deaf or hard of hearing >and their families. There is tremendous growth in hearing loss. Deafness >is a powerful teacher. >5. Empowered clients will be the most successful, and all clinical >interventions need to be judged by whether they empower the client. >6. The listening response that validates both the client's feelings and the >client's strength is the best intervention for empowering clients. " > >Well, if y'all made it this far - I just gotta tell you that " Listen Up " seems >like " just what the doctor ordered! " Lets make and keep this list a place where healing and growing of us parents and our children can blossom! > >PS: Get a copy of this chapter however you can! You can get it via any public library via interlibrary loan. It is gold. I left out lots, and didn't even quote from the section on the children themselves! It is applicable to any and all methodologies. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 1999 Report Share Posted August 21, 1999 In a message dated 8/20/99 9:00:01 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Barbara.T.Mellert@... writes: << Yankee Candle is really fun - it looks as though you could easily spend the whole day there. There's an amusement park south of Northampton (I can't remember the name), I've also scoped out the accommodations there - there are some that are nice and reasonable. September (maybe mid September) is best for our family.... >> Hi! This is Lori from Massachusetts. I have been to Yankee Candle it's nice but I know my children would not have that much fun. My children are young. I don't know how much you can socialize in the candle shop. I am hard of hearing as well as my daughter Audrey who is three and I don't know how well the sound is there. It's been a long time since I have been there so things could have changed. I am will try anything. Late September is great. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 1999 Report Share Posted August 22, 1999 At 08:59 AM 8/20/99 -0400, Barbara T. Mellert wrote: >From: Barbara.T.Mellert@... (Barbara T. Mellert) > >--- You wrote: >There is also Yankee Candle not to far from North Hampton right??? Any other >attractions nearby anyone is aware of???? > >Ok second BIG decision!!!!!!!The date, anyone have any suggestions??????? >September, early October?????? Any feedback would be greatly >appreciated!!!!!!! > >--- end of quote --- >Yankee Candle is really fun - it looks as though you could easily spend the whole day there. There's an amusement park south of Northampton (I can't remember the name), I've also scoped out the accommodations there - there are some that are nice and reasonable. September (maybe mid September) is best for our family.... Riverside, Agawam, MA >--------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 1999 Report Share Posted August 23, 1999 Sorry it is taking so long torespond to all these messgages....today is catch up day....just wondering how old JD is. How much time did you spend on these activites...daily weekly ect... Sounds like all of them can be " played " rather than worked at so kids are still having fun. We are excitted because I just bought a light bright two days ago!!!! ~ and 's mom At 09:18 AM 8/20/99 -0500, you wrote: >>>Tommy mentioned to me the other day that he hopes his new teacher wont' make him write (he hates writing but is an incredible reader). I told him that he will be tested to see if there really are problems with his writing. << > >It does seem to me that there is a high incidence of fine motor skill problems with " our " kids. Last summer JD had OT for his fine motor skill problems (writing skills in school were a problem) and I'll list some of the activities that seemed to help for him, perhaps they'll help someone else's kids. > >Playing with silly putty. The task was to make a pancake of the putty. With the fingers of one hand he was to form a pyramid from the putty. Then repeat with the other hand. > >Putting pegs in a " Light Bright " . > >Playing " Perfection " > >Taking a rubber ball (about the size of a golf ball, or you could use a wad of playdoh) and squeezing it, focusing on one finger at a time. > >Laying his hand flat on a table and trying to raise one finger at a time. Repeat for the other hand. > >This one is interesting, but takes a bit of work to create. Take a board and drill holes in it. Then fit different size bolts in the holes and put nuts on them (not the kind you eat ;-) The child's task is to unscrew them all, then put them back on. A similar activity was done with a bunch of different kind of latches (open and close the latches). > >These did help JD last summer. I think it's time to start doing them again because he mentions after having to write a little bit that he has to rest his hand because it's cramping. > >Kay ><!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC " -//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN " > ><HTML><HEAD> ><META content= " text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 " http-equiv=Content-Type> ><META content= " MSHTML 5.00.2314.1000 " name=GENERATOR> ><STYLE></STYLE> ></HEAD> ><BODY bgColor=#ffffff> ><DIV> & gt; & gt;Tommy mentioned to me the other day that he hopes his new teacher >wont' make him write (he hates writing but is an incredible reader). I told him >that he will be tested to see if there really are problems with his writing. > & lt; & lt;</DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>It does seem to me that there is a high incidence of fine motor skill >problems with " our " kids. Last summer JD had OT for his fine motor skill >problems (writing skills in school were a problem) and I'll list some of the >activities that seemed to help for him, perhaps they'll help someone else's >kids.</DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>Playing with silly putty. The task was to make a pancake of the putty. With >the fingers of one hand he was to form a pyramid from the putty. Then repeat >with the other hand.</DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>Putting pegs in a " Light Bright " .</DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>Playing " Perfection " </DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>Taking a rubber ball (about the size of a golf ball, or you could use a wad >of playdoh) and squeezing it, focusing on one finger at a time.</DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>Laying his hand flat on a table and trying to raise one finger at a time. >Repeat for the other hand.</DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>This one is interesting, but takes a bit of work to create. Take a board >and drill holes in it. Then fit different size bolts in the holes and put nuts >on them (not the kind you eat & nbsp; ;-) The child's task is to unscrew them all, >then put them back on. A similar activity was done with a bunch of different >kind of latches (open and close the latches).</DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>These did help JD last summer. I think it's time to start doing them again >because he mentions after having to write a little bit that he has to rest his >hand because it's cramping.</DIV> ><DIV> & nbsp;</DIV> ><DIV>Kay</DIV></BODY></HTML> > ~ and 's Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 1999 Report Share Posted August 23, 1999 > just wondering how old JD is. 12 years old > How much time did you spend > on these activites...daily weekly ect... Not very long at all, only how long it took to complete each one once (or a few minutes on each). With the light bright I asked him to complete 1 picture daily, but that seemed to be too much for him, so we went to 1/2 picture daily. That reminds me, I got him a new package of Star War pictures for the light bright, and forgot about them. Guess I better figure out where I put them. Kay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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