My Introduction

[Guest guest]

I'm posting this for our newest member since the message sent to subscribe

doesn't actually make it to the list.

And while I'm at it, Welcome Donna.

Kay

Hello Other Parents,

This is my brief introduction of myself so I can join your list. My husband

and myself have a 5 year old deaf son. He is learning ASL. I'm also learning

Cued Language for English and my goal is for him to be comfortable with both

ASL and English. He had no language at all (only pointed) before age 3 years

and 11 months. So we're making progress but still have a ways to go. He is

so

smart and such a great problem solver. He is our sunshine and most of the

time such a lovable adorable son.

Now, the current issue I'd like your thoughts on, is how to handle backtalk.

He is a very obediant child, but he grumbles and protests and yells at me

during the time he is obeying. If I tell him to do something - for example -

" take your dirty dishes to the kitchen please " , he will get up and tell me

" NO NO NO " and pick up the dish with one hand while the other hand reams me

out (reminds me of cussing in sign language - but he doesn't know any cuss

words - he is just blowing me off along with a lot of NOs) as he takes his

dishes to the kitchen. He also will do what I call " flicking me off " . If you

take your middle finger, and snap it against your thumb, it comes out with a

force - we used to use this motion to play the game called " Charom " . It

stings a little if you do it held against your skin. Anyway - I did not

tolerate him doing snapping people in my presence - where he actually is

snapping their skin - so now he does it to me in the air.

So, my counselor told me it is useful to acknowledge the emotion, but not

give power to it. In other words, reflect back to him something like " You

are

mad now " so he can know it is okay to give words to emotions and it is okay

to feel emotions. But insist on him being obediant (which he is) and only

allow him to express emotions in non-physical-hurtful ways. However,

something in me protests against him being so disrespectful at times, and

now

when he sticks his tongue out at me or flicks me off, I make him sit in the

time out chair and hold his tongue hanging out of his mouth for a few

minutes

(if he stuck his tongue out at me) or hold his hands up in the flick

position

for a few minutes. This has greatly reduced these two particular behaviors.

So, what do you think? Have any of you handled this issue with your kids?

This probably isn't really a " deaf " issue - it is just a " 5 year old kid "

issue, but I'd still appreciate any ideas.

Oops, sorry this turned out to be longer than " brief " !

Donna