Re: Re: So sick of stares & ready to quit - little long - Jenn

[Guest guest]

I wish I had the guts to say that!!! Thank you from all of who get the stares!!!

& na

Re: So sick of stares & ready to quit - little long

Kim-I am sorry this is late...I have been finishing college and not had time to check the boards lately. But when I saw your post, I had to reply. It sounds exactly like something I wrote about 4 weeks ago.My son's doctor who is an idiot, failed to diagnose Carson's torticollis and positional plagiocephaly when I had him in the office at 2 and 4 months, so I had to go around him and see another doctor. Thank God for giving me the strength and courage to fight for my child's rights-he is now receiving astonishing correction after only 4 weeks in his helmet and is getting physical therapy weekly to help his torticollis. The first weekend in the helmet was extremely hard for me. My dh was out of town on a business trip, and I was toting my three kids around Walmart to shop for groceries. My daughters, 8 and 7, didnt seem to notice the excruciating stares, but to me every sideways glare sent stabbing pains through my heart and I had to fight back tears. I longed so desperately for everyone who was staring at us to see him the way we do-the way they did before the helmet-a cute, happy, babbling sweet baby. In my head, I was begging "please please please just ask me and stop staring...I want so badly to tell you he is not what you are imagining, that I permitted this treatment out of my deepest love for him so that he will not have to grow up with this deformity." At the checkout, the girls and I were loading our groceries onto the belt while Carson sat in the cart. I could see the checker and people all around us just staring at him with the meanest shocked looks...like he was some kind of sideshow. I could feel my face burning and wanted to scream and shout at every person standing around us. I knew what they were thinking-i had been asked at the doctor's office if he banged his head, had a tumor, seizures, etc. and one lady even had the gall to ask me if he was abused or had shaken baby syndrome-I wanted to shake the stupid right out of her! I was so thankful the girls didn't seem to notice and just carried on smiling and talking to their baby brother-it would have crushed me even deeper to know that they were embarrassed or upset about the way people were looking at him. I tried to gain my strength from them and just have their, "who gives a flying rat" attitude but its so much harder to be oblivious when you are an adult! The man behind me and his wife had stared so hard at him I thought for sure he would start crying out of fear from the looks on their faces. Then it happened...he smiled, a big fat, "hey look at me I am the cutest little pumpkin butt you will ever see" smile. Their hard looks turned soft, and I saw their eyes and lips moving from glares to a slight smile. He took his cew, and was on a roll...he began chattering and babbling and lauhging out loud. They began to smile, laugh and respond to him. Then the checker started in, and was calling over another checker to come see how precious he was. It felt like my heart burst open-it had swelled so much with pride. My infant son was able to do the very thing I couldn't...stop caring what people think and use his cute little ways to attract attention from them. I have never been so proud!It gets easier-I don't notice the stares so much, and when I do, I just catch them off guard and say, "I know you didn't ask, but since his helmet has caught your attention, I thought I would tell you-he wears it to correct a flat spot on the back of his head and he is doing absolutely great with it. He will only have to wear it a few months." That usually sparks their interest and they ask questions. One lady made a comment, "oh I thought he was retarded." I couldn't resist..."No, he is not retarded. In fact he is a very bright boy, meeting all of his milestones early. But you on the other hand are an adult that should know better and you obviously have some social skills delay to be so crude and indifferent. So my son may have to wear this helmet for a while, but after that-he will have no memory of it and will go on to be great...but you will always be ignorant and there is no medical cure for that!" I know it wasn't nice but I had had my fill that day. Just try and remember that you are doing this for your baby and one day he will thank you-as an adult when he sees what his head looked like, he will be so grateful you didn't let him grow up with that defect. Use every stare as an opportunity to educate people, regardless if they ask. In my opinion, if they are staring, they probably want to know but dont want to hurt feelings by asking in case it is something sad, such as brain damage, etc. Once you see the progress, you wont be second-guessing yourself anymore...I am not.Hang in there!Jenn 8Madisson 7Carson 6 months (Moderate plagio/tort, 4 weeks in band, over 30% correction in just 3 weeks)> Hello all - > I am sure all of you that have had your little ones in a helmet have > went through this, and somehow managed. The first time I took Jaxson > out with his helmet, Dec. 6th (3 days after he got it) I had a bad > experience with someone asking me if it was to stop him from banging > his head. I explained it to her, nicely, but all along my eyes > welling up. > > After that day, I told his PT about it and she said it really needs > to be known, more public, what a helmet is for. She suggested I call > the newspapers, news channels, etc. I emailed them all, haven't heard > anything yet (just did this on Thursday). I want more people around > my area to know about it. > > Well, I wanted so badly to just be done with the helmet this > weekend. First, I was in Wal-Mart picking up stocking stuffers and > decided to check out their sticker department. I had noticed all > along people just kind of looking at Jax, but a little glance was > ok.. I was ok with it. In the stickers, this woman stopped right next > to my cart, STARING at Jax. She didn't say anything. I said nothing. > Yet. She walked away, turned around, and CAME BACK to stare MORE. She > stood there looking at him like he was a side show at the fair or > something. I asked her in not so nice of a tone what she was staring > at and just ASK already. She said nothing and walked away. I was sooo > mad. > > To top it all off, I went Christmas shopping at the mall yesterday > along with Jaxson. All kinds of people just stared at him like he was > a freak. I wanted to pretend it was because he's so darn cute, but > after the 15th, 20th time of hearing the comments after they walked > by, I couldn't take it any longer. > > I want to take it off and keep it off him. I don't want to go out in > public this way again with people commenting, but never asking. I > feel so stupid because I'm crying right now typing this. Bawling > actually. It has only been 12 days in this helmet and I am now > emotionally, a mess. I dread going out in public. Jax's dad tells me > to ignore it, but how can I? I can tell if someone is staring and > it's just not right, not polite. > More needs to be done to have this out there, to have more > information out there. Any suggestions or help, BESIDES locking me up > in an institution... > > > Kim> mom to Kaela (age 9) and Jaxson 5 months w/plagio/tort CranioCap > 12/3/03For more plagio info