So sick of stares & ready to quit - little long

[Guest guest]

Hello all -

I am sure all of you that have had your little ones in a helmet have

went through this, and somehow managed. The first time I took Jaxson

out with his helmet, Dec. 6th (3 days after he got it) I had a bad

experience with someone asking me if it was to stop him from banging

his head. I explained it to her, nicely, but all along my eyes

welling up.

After that day, I told his PT about it and she said it really needs

to be known, more public, what a helmet is for. She suggested I call

the newspapers, news channels, etc. I emailed them all, haven't heard

anything yet (just did this on Thursday). I want more people around

my area to know about it.

Well, I wanted so badly to just be done with the helmet this

weekend. First, I was in Wal-Mart picking up stocking stuffers and

decided to check out their sticker department. I had noticed all

along people just kind of looking at Jax, but a little glance was

ok.. I was ok with it. In the stickers, this woman stopped right next

to my cart, STARING at Jax. She didn't say anything. I said nothing.

Yet. She walked away, turned around, and CAME BACK to stare MORE. She

stood there looking at him like he was a side show at the fair or

something. I asked her in not so nice of a tone what she was staring

at and just ASK already. She said nothing and walked away. I was sooo

mad.

To top it all off, I went Christmas shopping at the mall yesterday

along with Jaxson. All kinds of people just stared at him like he was

a freak. I wanted to pretend it was because he's so darn cute, but

after the 15th, 20th time of hearing the comments after they walked

by, I couldn't take it any longer.

I want to take it off and keep it off him. I don't want to go out in

public this way again with people commenting, but never asking. I

feel so stupid because I'm crying right now typing this. Bawling

actually. It has only been 12 days in this helmet and I am now

emotionally, a mess. I dread going out in public. Jax's dad tells me

to ignore it, but how can I? I can tell if someone is staring and

it's just not right, not polite.

More needs to be done to have this out there, to have more

information out there. Any suggestions or help, BESIDES locking me up

in an institution...

Kim

mom to Kaela (age 9) and Jaxson 5 months w/plagio/tort CranioCap

12/3/03

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

First, ((BIG HUGS)). Second don't worry about crying. This is a difficult process and the general public does not make it any easier. Keep telling yourself this is in Jaxson's best interest, because it is. You are a wonderful mommy for recognizing he needed to get treatment and now you're getting him the treatment.

Now, how to deal with the general (stupid) public. The stickers should help. I found that the less medical it looked the more people were nice about asking questions. People are always saying hi to her now that her name is on the band. The really obvious ones I just stare back at or ignore. I know they are ignorant and feel sorry for them instead of na. You could always say "Take a picture it lasts longer" or "Didn't your mother tell you it was rude to stare?" Of course these are a little antagonistic but they will make you feel better.

I'm used to it now (4 weeks in doc band 1, 1 week in Doc Band #2, with a 2 week break). In fact, Sunday at the mall someone did a double take at the stroller and I thought - just looking at her band again. Well I checked just to be sure and in the 2 minutes since I had looked at her last she had fallen fast asleep and was slumped over in the stroller - oops.

BIG HUGS! and it does get better, especially when you start to see results. Then you know it was all worth it.

& na

So sick of stares & ready to quit - little long

Hello all - I am sure all of you that have had your little ones in a helmet have went through this, and somehow managed. The first time I took Jaxson out with his helmet, Dec. 6th (3 days after he got it) I had a bad experience with someone asking me if it was to stop him from banging his head. I explained it to her, nicely, but all along my eyes welling up. After that day, I told his PT about it and she said it really needs to be known, more public, what a helmet is for. She suggested I call the newspapers, news channels, etc. I emailed them all, haven't heard anything yet (just did this on Thursday). I want more people around my area to know about it. Well, I wanted so badly to just be done with the helmet this weekend. First, I was in Wal-Mart picking up stocking stuffers and decided to check out their sticker department. I had noticed all along people just kind of looking at Jax, but a little glance was ok.. I was ok with it. In the stickers, this woman stopped right next to my cart, STARING at Jax. She didn't say anything. I said nothing. Yet. She walked away, turned around, and CAME BACK to stare MORE. She stood there looking at him like he was a side show at the fair or something. I asked her in not so nice of a tone what she was staring at and just ASK already. She said nothing and walked away. I was sooo mad. To top it all off, I went Christmas shopping at the mall yesterday along with Jaxson. All kinds of people just stared at him like he was a freak. I wanted to pretend it was because he's so darn cute, but after the 15th, 20th time of hearing the comments after they walked by, I couldn't take it any longer. I want to take it off and keep it off him. I don't want to go out in public this way again with people commenting, but never asking. I feel so stupid because I'm crying right now typing this. Bawling actually. It has only been 12 days in this helmet and I am now emotionally, a mess. I dread going out in public. Jax's dad tells me to ignore it, but how can I? I can tell if someone is staring and it's just not right, not polite. More needs to be done to have this out there, to have more information out there. Any suggestions or help, BESIDES locking me up in an institution... Kimmom to Kaela (age 9) and Jaxson 5 months w/plagio/tort CranioCap 12/3/03For more plagio info

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

I have been too busy to post much lately, but had to respond to your post. It is very hard at the beginning. Although, we all know we are doing the right thing, it is hard not to be self conscious at the beginning. No one likes anyone to think less of your precious baby and many strangers do just that.

I have said many times to many new members that this experience has forever changed me. I never realized just how rude and inconsiderate people can be. I feel great respect for those parents who deal with it for a lifetime due to a serious disability.

All I can say is to keep your chin up. It does get easier. I won't say at least for me that it goes away completely, but there will come a day when most of the time you don't even notice. If I am cranky I usually notice more and respond less positively.

Last week pushing my way through the masses of Xmas shoppers, I wanted to plow a few rude ones down. It is always much worse in a largely crowded area. I have started staring right back and often times just laughing at loud at their rude expressions. It usually startles them right out of it when they see me noticing and laughing. As they say, this too shall pass. ((Hugs))!

Jen- TXTrentyn- 19 mo. DocBand 06/12/03 & 09/17/03

So sick of stares & ready to quit - little long

Hello all - I am sure all of you that have had your little ones in a helmet have went through this, and somehow managed. The first time I took Jaxson out with his helmet, Dec. 6th (3 days after he got it) I had a bad experience with someone asking me if it was to stop him from banging his head. I explained it to her, nicely, but all along my eyes welling up. After that day, I told his PT about it and she said it really needs to be known, more public, what a helmet is for. She suggested I call the newspapers, news channels, etc. I emailed them all, haven't heard anything yet (just did this on Thursday). I want more people around my area to know about it. Well, I wanted so badly to just be done with the helmet this weekend. First, I was in Wal-Mart picking up stocking stuffers and decided to check out their sticker department. I had noticed all along people just kind of looking at Jax, but a little glance was ok.. I was ok with it. In the stickers, this woman stopped right next to my cart, STARING at Jax. She didn't say anything. I said nothing. Yet. She walked away, turned around, and CAME BACK to stare MORE. She stood there looking at him like he was a side show at the fair or something. I asked her in not so nice of a tone what she was staring at and just ASK already. She said nothing and walked away. I was sooo mad. To top it all off, I went Christmas shopping at the mall yesterday along with Jaxson. All kinds of people just stared at him like he was a freak. I wanted to pretend it was because he's so darn cute, but after the 15th, 20th time of hearing the comments after they walked by, I couldn't take it any longer. I want to take it off and keep it off him. I don't want to go out in public this way again with people commenting, but never asking. I feel so stupid because I'm crying right now typing this. Bawling actually. It has only been 12 days in this helmet and I am now emotionally, a mess. I dread going out in public. Jax's dad tells me to ignore it, but how can I? I can tell if someone is staring and it's just not right, not polite. More needs to be done to have this out there, to have more information out there. Any suggestions or help, BESIDES locking me up in an institution... Kimmom to Kaela (age 9) and Jaxson 5 months w/plagio/tort CranioCap 12/3/03For more plagio info