RE: 911:: Stupid Call of the Week

[Guest guest]

One of my colleagues got this call the other night....

The desk operator at the local hospital called requesting a response from the

fire department. She stated that the security and maintenance supervisors

told her to call. It seems that they had an ashtray that was smoking....

My partner asked if it was a trash container...Operator said no, it was one

of those 2 1/2 foot, cylindrical ashtrays, with the kitty litter in the top.

My partner asked if it was up against the building...Nope, it was about 9

feet from the emergency room doors, not threatening anything around it...

The only part of this I heard was my partner getting off the phone and

yelling " What the fuck! " She started dope slapping herself, then relayed to

me what the call was. I just didnt believe it, so I called them back. I

stated I was from the fire dept., and we just received a call.....She stated

yes, she was the one that called.....So I cynically relayedall the info I

had, being very sarcastic and demeaning when I used the words " security and

maintenance supervisors " ....Yes, they were there, and they wanted an engine..

OK, who am I to refuse service....I can tell you right now that firefighters

do not to be woken up at 4 am for a call such as this...but I figure what the

hell, if I gotta be up, so do they....

They were on scene for about 10 seconds, and cleared...They were so

aggravated with having to go that I never heard what exactly happened there,

and didnt dare ask...

Walett

Dispatcher, Northampton Public Safety

Patrolman, Bernardston Police Dept.

Masshole, born and raised

" opinions are mine, and are probably not agreed upon by anyone "

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 01-05-18 10:52:03 EDT, you write:

<<

Our local ems had a dispatch last night to a female whose complaint was

having " hot flashes "

>>

Mine was " my son was just bitten by a snake, we're driving to the hospital,

call ahead for me and tell them to be ready for me and to take me first. "

She didn't want an ambulance, she didn't want pre-arrival -- she wanted a

reservation.

[Guest guest]

Our local ems had a dispatch last night to a female whose complaint was

having " hot flashes "

Gotta love this job

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/22/01 1:16:01 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

E911gal136@... writes:

>

> Guy loans his vehicle to a friend who is 2 hours late in returning it.

> Wants

> to report it stolen saying if he reports it stolen we will find it and

> return

> it to him (as if my some miracle that just by the act of reporting it

> stolen

> will make it reappear). So we tell him nicely that thats not how it work.

> Explain that if we do by chance come across his vehicle with his 'friend'

> driving it we will not only pull it over, but he will probable get guns

> drawn

> down on him as being the possible perp of a stolen vehicle. He will get

> searched, questioned.....well, I dont have to tell y'all what

> .............does he really want this to happen to his 'friend'. He says

> he

> will call me back...................never does

>

> TAKEN WITHOUT OWNERS CONSENT...... at least in Somerset County NJ. No NCIC

> entry.

>

> Patty

>

[Guest guest]

West Springfield, MA. " I need the police. My dogs are stuck

together. " Dog breeders will understand what 'stuck' implies.

~Ken

Mine was " my son was just bitten by a snake, we're driving to the hospital,

>call ahead for me and tell them to be ready for me and to take me first. "

>She didn't want an ambulance, she didn't want pre-arrival -- she wanted a

>reservation.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 01-06-28 22:14:10 EDT, you write:

<<

West Springfield, MA. " I need the police. My dogs are stuck

together. " Dog breeders will understand what 'stuck' implies.

>>

Ken, I'm not a dog breeder, my 4 cats are fixed......I got it.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 01-06-29 04:45:07 EDT, you write:

<<

no....wait.....one better !!...

Man calls on 911 saying that he wants an officer NOW because he has

discovered that Sprint (our local phone provider) is reading his mind thru

the telephone lines they installed infront of his house. They can't do that

without permission can they ???

>>

Thats why he needs the foil hat and now, the new style undies sold in

Colorado -- only don't wear em in Colorado -- to prevent that from happening!

[Guest guest]

frankie wrote: <<<Man calls on 911 saying that he wants an officer NOW

because he has

discovered that Sprint (our local phone provider) is reading his mind thru

the telephone lines they installed infront of his house. They can't do that

without permission can they ??? >>>

maybe that guy needs a pair of aluminum underwear for his head. ;o)

rich

[Guest guest]

This was worth a few moments of head-shaking grins after one of my

dispatchers hung up and got everybody's attention to share the call she'd

just experienced. (Happened this past Wednesday.) Imagine trying to get

your CAD log started for this one:

" 9-1-1 Emergency, what are you reporting? "

" I'm not from around here..... I want to report a maniac that ran me off

the road. "

" Where are you? "

" I don't know, I'm not from around here. "

" Have you had an accident, was your car actually hit, are you actually off

the road? "

" No, no, I guess he ALMOST ran me off the road, but he's going to get

someone killed if you don't stop him! "

" Okay, so you don't need an ambulance or a tow truck or anything, right? "

" No, no, I'm okay; but he's going about a hundred miles an hour. "

" Okay, where did this happen - and how long ago? "

" Just right now. Ummm, I don't really know where I am - I'm not from

around here. "

" Okay, what's the car look like? "

" Mine? It's a Toyota Camry.... "

" No, the car that almost ran you off the road. "

" Oh, I don't know, it happened so fast. He's driving like a maniac! And he

flipped me off when he did it! "

" Well, it's not illegal to make hand gestures, but if he's speeding or

driving recklessly, that's a problem. What highway are you on? "

" I'm not sure, really. ........I'm not from around here. "

" Ma'am, let me make sure I understand what you're telling me: you don't

know where you are and you can't describe the reckless vehicle you want us

to stop? "

" I probably shouldn't have called, right? "

" Well, it's going to pretty hard to catch if we don't know where to look or

what to look for..... "

" I see your point. Sorry. " <click>

There wasn't even enough information to generate a CAD log she could print

and post on the bulletin board. (Our " winners " sometimes get displayed

there for others' enjoyment.)

Happy to be here, proud to serve.

Olmstead

Communications Supervisor

~on the Central California coastline~

" Not presumed to be an official statement of my employing agency. "

Home E-mail: mailto:gryeyes@...

http://www.gryeyes.com/

[Guest guest]

Ok folks.......this took the cake the other day..... I cant quote the

conversation, but it went something like this:

RP wants to report a suspicious person.

Ok whats the description:

Description: whi male, wearing a red/whi jogging suit running up and down

the street for about an hour

Ma'am and why do you think this person is suspicious?

Well I dont recognize him from my subdivision so he cant be jogging

Ok, ma'am... will handle it....

End call (police cancelled)

(1239-EST)

Toni Wyman, (CTO)

Gwinnett County Police, GA (just N of HotLanta)

770 Hi Hope Rd

Lawrenceville, GA 30046

(These are only my opinions, not my agency's, after all they are the

government and they have opinions of their own)

For liability reasons my posts and opinions are to be reprinted with my

permission only.

Email to: E911GAL136@...