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Re: I surprised myself.

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I have to say that was one on the most well written

letters I have read. I almost thought it was a poem that

someone forwarded.

It really hit a note with me. And so now I can say I have a

goel.I want to get to where you are and be secure with my

life and the curves I've been thrown.

Thanks again,Clare

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Yea for Jacquie!!!

Kerri

I surprised myself.

Yesterday, while I was sitting in the drive though line-up at Tim Hortons,

there was a raven sitting on a fence which seemed to be cawing directly at me.

As my car moved, so did the raven, keeping a consistent distance between us. It

struck me that my mother, who is ish, always said something about ravens

being omens in ish folklore, and about the number of ravens seen portending

different things. I called her and asked her what one raven meant. " Change, "

is what she told me.

Sitting in my (clean!) living room later, doing my shoddily-done cross stitch,

I thought about what that could mean. What would I wish to be changed?

Then I realized a truth that startled me. Nothing. I don't want anything to

change. For a fleeting moment, I thought, " well, if someone came up with a cure

for autism... " and then I thought, " no, a cure is great for some, but not us.

A cure would mean wouldn't be anymore. " (of course, that's no

revelation to me)

My house is clean. My husband is happy and has a good job with a great drug

plan. (today's psoraisis medication that should cost $60 - free) The house is

big enough for us, and fairly new. My kid is happy and developing. My dog has

finally come to believe we won't abandon her like her last owner did. My cat has

been with me ten years and is healthy. We're all healthy. The library is a

source of fulfillment and self-worth. I can cook. I have all the paint and

wood I can use for a year or more. I am settling into village life - the girl

working at the counter of the KFC asked me today, " Did you get your hair cut? I

love it! " I have a good hairdresser, who reminsced about the 80s with me for an

hour this morning while she cut my hair. We have enough money to pay our bills

and still buy frivolous things once in a while (like $30 psoraisis shampoo --

grrrrr). I have three very close friends. I still love my husband. I have

this list. My weight has ceased to bother me, and I can look at the mirror and

appreciate that the fat means that I have no wrinkles. Not one. And that my

face, at this weight, is the prettiest it gets. (when I'm thin, I'm all sharp

angles and big nose and big chin) I'm sane. Lithium works.

For the first time in my life, at a period when I would LEAST expect it, I

find that I am content. I do not WANT anything to change. I LIKE my life.

I can say without a doubt that autism did this to me. Autism gave me the

perspective to stop looking ahead at what might be, what *could* be or could

have been, and to look at the good things I have RIGHT NOW. I will never stop

being grateful for that...or for those things.

<big smile>

Jacquie

mom to , 5

Parenting Autism moderator

" To dream too much of the person you would like to be is to waste the person

you are. "

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>>>>>>>.For the first time in my life, at a period

when I would LEAST expect it, I find that I am

content. I do not WANT anything to change. I LIKE my

life. I can say without a doubt that autism did this

to me. Autism gave me the perspective to stop looking

ahead at what might be, what *could* be or could have

been, and to look at the good things I have RIGHT NOW.

I will never stop being grateful for that...or for

those things.<<<<<<<<

Hallelujah and Amen.

Tuna :)

=====

" Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. "

Lily Tomlin

______________________________________________________________________

Web-hosting solutions for home and business! http://website.yahoo.ca

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Tuna It is wonderful that you have that perspective. To feel content in that

way makes the journey that much easier!

CHRIS

Re: I surprised myself.

>>>>>>>.For the first time in my life, at a period

when I would LEAST expect it, I find that I am

content. I do not WANT anything to change. I LIKE my

life. I can say without a doubt that autism did this

to me. Autism gave me the perspective to stop looking

ahead at what might be, what *could* be or could have

been, and to look at the good things I have RIGHT NOW.

I will never stop being grateful for that...or for

those things.<<<<<<<<

Hallelujah and Amen.

Tuna :)

=====

" Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. "

Lily Tomlin

______________________________________________________________________

Web-hosting solutions for home and business! http://website.yahoo.ca

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Ok it was it Jacquie who wrote this message?? I got to thinking... and I don't

think it was Tuna. Though if it was that is great too.

Re: I surprised myself.

>>>>>>>.For the first time in my life, at a period

when I would LEAST expect it, I find that I am

content. I do not WANT anything to change. I LIKE my

life. I can say without a doubt that autism did this

to me. Autism gave me the perspective to stop looking

ahead at what might be, what *could* be or could have

been, and to look at the good things I have RIGHT NOW.

I will never stop being grateful for that...or for

those things.<<<<<<<<

Hallelujah and Amen.

Tuna :)

=====

" Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. "

Lily Tomlin

______________________________________________________________________

Web-hosting solutions for home and business! http://website.yahoo.ca

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That was Jacquie's wisdom, I was agreeing with her. :)

Tuna

--- &

Ok it was it Jacquie who wrote this message??

=====

" Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. "

Lily Tomlin

______________________________________________________________________

Web-hosting solutions for home and business! http://website.yahoo.ca

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This is beautiful, Jacquie..really uplifting..I'm glad

you are feeling good! You are a talented writer.

Mimi

--- The Hunny Family wrote:

>

> Yesterday, while I was sitting in the drive though

> line-up at Tim Hortons, there was a raven sitting on

> a fence which seemed to be cawing directly at me.

> As my car moved, so did the raven, keeping a

> consistent distance between us. It struck me that

> my mother, who is ish, always said something

> about ravens being omens in ish folklore, and

> about the number of ravens seen portending different

> things. I called her and asked her what one raven

> meant. " Change, " is what she told me.

>

> Sitting in my (clean!) living room later, doing my

> shoddily-done cross stitch, I thought about what

> that could mean. What would I wish to be changed?

>

> Then I realized a truth that startled me. Nothing.

> I don't want anything to change. For a fleeting

> moment, I thought, " well, if someone came up with a

> cure for autism... " and then I thought, " no, a cure

> is great for some, but not us. A cure would mean

> wouldn't be anymore. " (of course, that's

> no revelation to me)

>

> My house is clean. My husband is happy and has a

> good job with a great drug plan. (today's psoraisis

> medication that should cost $60 - free) The house

> is big enough for us, and fairly new. My kid is

> happy and developing. My dog has finally come to

> believe we won't abandon her like her last owner

> did. My cat has been with me ten years and is

> healthy. We're all healthy. The library is a

> source of fulfillment and self-worth. I can cook.

> I have all the paint and wood I can use for a year

> or more. I am settling into village life - the girl

> working at the counter of the KFC asked me today,

> " Did you get your hair cut? I love it! " I have a

> good hairdresser, who reminsced about the 80s with

> me for an hour this morning while she cut my hair.

> We have enough money to pay our bills and still buy

> frivolous things once in a while (like $30 psoraisis

> shampoo -- grrrrr). I have three very close

> friends. I still love my husband. I have this

> list. My weight has ceased to bother me, and I can

> look at the mirror and appreciate that the fat means

> that I have no wrinkles. Not one. And that my

> face, at this weight, is the prettiest it gets.

> (when I'm thin, I'm all sharp angles and big nose

> and big chin) I'm sane. Lithium works.

>

> For the first time in my life, at a period when I

> would LEAST expect it, I find that I am content. I

> do not WANT anything to change. I LIKE my life.

>

> I can say without a doubt that autism did this to

> me. Autism gave me the perspective to stop looking

> ahead at what might be, what *could* be or could

> have been, and to look at the good things I have

> RIGHT NOW. I will never stop being grateful for

> that...or for those things.

>

> <big smile>

>

> Jacquie

> mom to , 5

> Parenting Autism moderator

> " To dream too much of the person you would like to

> be is to waste the person you are. "

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

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> This is a fantastic place for you to be at!! Maybe you should print and

> frame your own letter for the next time you cycle down?

Sue, that is a GREAT idea. I will print out the original and paste it in my

journal. Thanks! I wouldn't have thought of that on my own. :-)

Jacquie

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> Tuna It is wonderful that you have that perspective. To feel content in that

way makes the journey that much easier!

> CHRIS

I read in your later post that you know it's me, so I'll just reply and say that

I never thought I WOULD have this perspective. And I think this group has a

lot to do with it. Being able to talk it through has made all the difference.

Jacquie

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> This is beautiful, Jacquie..really uplifting..I'm glad

> you are feeling good! You are a talented writer.

Thanks, Mimi!

Unfortunately for me, my mom shares your view, and whenever I send her something

well-written she takes the opportunity to lament that I no longer write for

publication of any kind. It gets a little tiresome. :-( I say, " did you see

the thing I sent you? " and she says, " yes, it's wonderful, o why did you ever

stop writing? You could have blah blah blah. "

Gee mom -- are you disappointed in me???

I don't WANT to write for a publication anymore, but she is having a hard time

letting go of her Pulitzer dreams, I think.

<sigh>

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> Perhaps the raven is not " predicting " change.... perhaps he is reporting it.

This is huge growth for you and I am so pleased for you to feel contentment with

your life.

>

Thanks, ! I like that interpretation! :-)

Jacquie

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