you'll get a big kick out of this one

[Guest guest]

> "Things only a Mother can teach..." - Rated PG > > 1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... > "Just wait until your father gets home." > > 2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... > "You are going to get it when we get home!" > > 3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... > "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you ... Don't talk > back to me!" > > 4. My Mother taught me LOGIC... > "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, your not going to > the store with me." > > 5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... > "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that > way." > > 6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... > "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job." > > 7. My Mother taught me ESP... > "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?" > > 8. My Mother taught me HUMOR... > "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." > > 9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... > "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." > > 10. My Mother taught me about SEX.... > "How do you think you got here?" > > 11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS... > "You're just like your father." > > 12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... > "Do you think you were born in a barn?" > > 13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE... > "When you get to be my age, you will understand." > > 14. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE... > "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like > you....then you'll see what it's like" > >