Guest guest Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 Sorry if you get this twice, my computer freaked out when I tried to send it the first time. Donna, You are not being too nosy, once I post I feel like I'm up to any and all responses and questions. I honestly think I worry more than DH about his kids. My sister works for DHS in the town where she lives so we keep her under close watch. DHS has her diagnosed as " paranoid " . That stems from her going in there screaming about my sister being involved her in case and claiming that is how the whole town found out how much she gets in food stamps (not true). They told her if she doesn't want the whole town knowing she's getting food stamps, then she should work full-time. lol. Her kids are also involved with juvenile court (TP'ing) so I know they have a " tracker " who counsels the family and watches what goes on during their probation. I believe she's munchausen's ??? i know i spelled that wrong, but i believe she is hurting her children to get attention for herself. we've had 3 of the 4 kids seen in the ER since him and i began dating. that is one of the reasons i've been insuring the kids, so I can see how many times they get sick, injured, etc. DH and I have talked about how someday we may get the opportunity to take the kids and he really doesn't want to put that on my shoulders. I've offered to adopt the children but not take joint custody, she would have to be out of the picture and agree to a permanent restraining order so she can't come near them. with her history, we are not ruling out suicide eventually. DH wasn't around much when his kids were growing up to be quite honest. He was in such a miserable marriage that he worked all the OT he could get, joined volunteer fire dept. and became an EMT just so he didn't have to be around her. He really never bonded with them. He's closer to my girls in the year we've been together than he was ever with his kids. Sad but he didn't believe in divorce and that was his way of coping with the bad marriage. I wish I could know my step-kids, but it's not worth the risk at this time, who knows what the future holds. I just trust in God and his angels to protect them. I think their mom was just jealous because she knew if her kids spent time with DH and I and our daughters that they'd want to move in with us and she'd lose her welfare money and actually have to work. sorry for the book. --- Donna Fannin wrote: > , > I have seen you post about DH ex-psycho wife and I > understand why he divorced her. I understand why > you > fear your children being around her also. What has > been on my mind for awhile is doesn't your DH worry > about his children being left alone with this women? > > My ex was kinda psycho too and I worried myself sick > when he would get my kids for just the weekend. My > kids still remember their visits with their dad like > a > bad nightmare! He mentally abused them like making > them stay shut up in a room all day and just > keeping > them scared. I worry about your step kids being > with > their mother. My DH stopped seeing my kids a long > time ago is the only way I deal with it. > Hope your DD stitches come out soon. Sorry if I'm > being nosey, I'm just concerned for the kids. How > does your DH know if they are OK if he doesn't see > the > kids. > Love, Donna > > --- wrote: > > I would give anything for what you guys have for > my > > DH's kids. His ex went so psycho (she cheated on > > him, > > he stuck it out for a year before he left, decided > > he'd never trust her again) that we can't see the > > kids. She didn't like it when he found someone > new > > and fell in love and all she can get is one-night > > stands because of her bad reputation. It was too > > harmful to the kids to force them to see us...she > > was > > playing mind games, making death threats against > me > > and the girls, etc. Even went to jail for > smashing > > DH's pagers that she stole out of his car....she's > > too > > scary for us to even try to deal with. We expect > > her > > to go off the deep end one day and eventually we > > will > > end up with the kids....very sad situation for the > > kids, but DH knew this is how it would be when he > > left. > > It just best for everyone to have cut ties for now > > so > > that no one gets hurt, but I would love to get to > > know > > my step-kids more than anything in this world and > > I'm > > just trusting in the Lord to make it so someday > that > > can happen. DH is an excellent father to our > girls > > and someday I hope his ex will see that the people > > she > > has hurt most is her own children. > > Sorry to ramble but I always feel bad about him > > losing > > his kids just to have his own happiness. > > > > > > --- wrote: > > > Yes, she was with her dad and his family. I'm > > > actually glad she didn't call > > > from the hospital cause I would have freaked. > I'm > > > better off not knowing > > > until its over with. My poor baby. Anyway, that > is > > > just some of the crap > > > that I have to put up with in my divorce > > agreement. > > > I have joint custody and > > > we share the kids, which sucks for me, but good > > for > > > the kids and their > > > adjustment. I get the kids every day and he gets > > > them most of the nights. I > > > get them quite often overnight, but regardless, > > it > > > still hurts. I actually > > > opted for this agreement because otherwise, the > > way > > > divorces go here, joint > > > custody usually goes two weeks on and two weeks > > off > > > and there was no way in > > > hell that I would go two weeks without seeing my > > > babies! > > > This arrangement has caused a lot of tension, > etc. > > > within my new marriage, > > > but my main concern was my children and they > have > > > adjusted very well and no > > > matter how much I don't like my ex, he is still > > the > > > kids father and they > > > deserve to have an ongoing consistent > relationship > > > with him. > > > Life is not easy for me. I've shed a lot of > tears. > > > Weekending > > > > > > > > > > > > I forgot to mention that our oldest daughter > > > went up north this weekend, > > > and she called tonight and said that her first > > trip > > > down the hill she fell > > > (downhill skiing) and broke her arm/wrist!!!! > She > > > had to go to the hospital, > > > get an IV, the works! She is in a cast I guess, > > all > > > the way up to her > > > shoulder, and its her right hand........yes, she > > is > > > right handed! I guess > > > she will be in the cast for at least 6 weeks, so > > no > > > sports, no band......I > > > dont' even know how she is going to do her > school > > > work! > > > > Well, always something I guess, but I feel > bad > > > that I'm not with her! > > > But I was really proud with her when she called, > > she > > > was so brave (probably > > > the codiene! (sp) ), but what a trooper! > > > > Well, as always, thanks for listening! > > > > Hugs, in MI > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Psalm 91:1 says: " He who dwells in the > secret > > > place of the Most High > > > shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. " > > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 My computer does not like my emails to you, this is the 2nd time today I've screwed one up! Donna, I was insisting for a while with keeping in touch with the kids...I was sending them birthday cards, holiday cards, etc...through the school. That is the only way we could be sure they were getting them. But everytime we did that she would end up calling DH at work or calling his mom to cause more conflicts so it has just been better for all of our family to let it lie for now. I think as they grow and mature and understand why their mother says and does what she does they will understand why their father left. When DH moved out, his ex and oldest daughter, then 12, together put bleach in all the bags with his clothing. She has involved the kids way too much in her anger and bitterness so if we leave the kids alone we figure she is leaving them alone as well. We considered going to their school concerts, etc...but everyone involved agrees it's not worth the risks. Please remember them in your prayers though ok? DSD Casey Jo, 16 DSD Lindsey Sue, 13 (14 next month) DSD Bethany Ann, 12 DSS Shay, 10 and DSD Abby Ruth, 3 Thanks Donna. ===== ME! 37 DH 34 DD 15 DD 7 TL 11/95 TR summer 2002! __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 4, 2002 Report Share Posted February 4, 2002 Donna, Thanks a million! I do really need all the info I can get. I'm so nervous!!!! Thank You again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 21, 2004 Report Share Posted November 21, 2004 There are parts of me that hurt when I bump something, like your thigh. It's usually a trigger point. My chest is especially bad, my chihuahua or my cat will sometimes stand on it, and goodness that hurts. That's one of the tender spots I had before I even knew they existed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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