Re: update on our weekend

[Guest guest]

Did you guys get some snow?

Pam

Mom to and Conor

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[Guest guest]

> Do you think is acting the way he is towards your

> dad as a result of the TMG? I mean he has probably

> heard you complain about your dad before. Plus you

> said you heard them out back and your dad was telling

> him " no , stop , dangerous " . I am wondering

> if has pick up on what he has heard and the way

> granddad has treated him and this is how he is

> expressing his anger towards him. Yes, no, maybe? Just

> a thought.

Ginger, I do think you might be right. It occured to me too, when there was an

incident last night...

I was upstairs, and I could hear trying to get my father's attention

downstairs. I heard him address him at least twice. I flushed (!) and started

downstairs, and heard my mom tell my dad, " He's calling you. " My dad snapped at

her about not hearing him, and my mom said, " He's called you three times. " As I

stepped through the stairwell door, my dad started *screaming* at my mom. Have

I mentioned he's a miserable bastard? This happens often.

So I did something I have NEVER done before. I stomped over, pointed my finger

in my dad's face, and snarled, " Stop it. " " But she was... " my dad started

spluttering. " I DON'T CARE, " I said using the voice I use when I'm angry with

, " Stop it right now. Don't scream in front of him about something that

involves him. " " I was just... " my father said, determined to prove how wrong

mom was and how right he was. " STOP. IT. *NOW*! " I thought I was going to

completely lose it if it went one sentence further.

It didn't. Dad left the house shortly after that, coming back *hours* later.

I got to thinking then. This happens often. My dad doesn't hear him, or if he

DOES hear him, he ignores him. Quite often will ask him something and

father will just not answer him. He'll ask dad to play and if dad doesn't want

to, he won't say no, he'll just say nothing at all. Dad is also more interested

in what does wrong than in what does right. He's forever correcting

him but rarely (if ever) praising him.

I hadn't considered the role of the TMG in it last night, but I think you've hit

on something. Maybe this time finally took it personally, since the TMG

seems to have opened up those areas somewhat for him.

It would stand to reason. It would also explain why, when grabbed

something from dh tonight and dh took it back, launched into a 20 minute

crying jag. He's suddenly realized what it feels like to be rejected.

Poor little mite.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Poor . I am sorry that happened. I am glad you

heard what was going on despite your location!

I hate to see any child ignored when they are trying

to get someone's attention like that. I am glad you

did not let your dad try to put it off on your mom.

What was he thinking? It was her fault he was ignoring

?!

If your dad does not stop harping on the things that

does wrong, will eventually not want to have

anything to do with him at all. I think said it

best when he told your dad " you are going to miss me " !

That was a wonderful dig! Go , go !

bwahahahaha

Ginger

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> It would stand to reason. It would also explain why, when

grabbed something from dh tonight and dh took it back, launched

into a 20 minute crying jag. He's suddenly realized what it feels

like to be rejected.

>

> Poor little mite.

>

> Jacquie

Poor sweetie. I'm sorry your dad has chose to act that way. No one

deserves to be treated with indifference and critcizm. Hopefully you

can somehow let know it has nothing to do with him and

everything to do with your Dad.

[Guest guest]

Jacquie -

It makes sense to me.

In the two months that Madison has been on TMG - I am noticing two major

things <and unfortunately, speech is not one of them>:

1. She's happy. And appropriately, generally, and " as it should be " kind of

happy. Not the " giggle at the wall and freak me out " kind of happy anymore,

but in generally good spirits all day long.

2. She SEES me and all my actions for what they are, which she didn't 2

months ago.

For instance - - before TMG, when she starts bugging me for whatever it is

she wants, and will not listen to " No, not right now... " or " No, stop it! " ,

then eventually, I physically push her away from me and walk away because i

know she is on the verge of a tantrum. If I walk away, she will follow me,

but in the end, 50% of the time, she will forego the tantrum, and the other

half of the times, she will start makin' love to the floor.

Anyhow, post-TMG, now - - - - naturally Madison still wants me to do things

for her, and whines and tugs on me. Well, lately, if I push her away, she

looks at me like she's hurt... like her feelings are hurt. Several times,

she started sobbing BECAUSE I pushed her away, and it wasn't the crying that

precedes a tantrum. She didn't say so, but the way she looked and sounded,

I intepreted it as her being hurt that I pushed her away. <I nudge her

away, really.... not shove, and I am positive it did not PHYSICALLY hurt!>

Each time, I've consoled her, and you know what ??? She is consolable. I

hold her, and she starts to calm down. Then she looks up at me with teary

eyes, and will babble, or get back up to make me do something else, or

continue on with the whinefest making me do what she wants. But my holding

her calms her down, and she smiles again. Just some months ago, I was

complaining to this list that my children are not consolable when they are

upset, and that my presence, my holding them, my kissing their booboos away

does not help them. For Madison, it works now. It's really a WOW thing to

me.

My ignoring her and leaving the room seems to hurt her whereas before, it

just really PISSED her off.

I don't know if it makes sense, but it is something I have definitely

noticed.

Oh, that and the fact that she is totally in love with me. The girl adores

me. ) Her eyes just ooze love, you know? It's really wonderful. Even

Shaun commented, " Gosh, that child really loves you. " ) For some things,

you just don't need words. When I am in bed, she comes and lies down with

me. If I'm sitting on the couch, she climbs on my lap and sits with me.

It's been blissful.

And sorry to hear your dad can be such a .... excuse my language, jackass

to . Being a less than perfect dad to you is one thing. Being a less

than loving grandparent - - - - inexcusable. He should have learned the

error of his ways by now. Bah humbug.

Mommy's dad it is, indeed.

Grace

Re: update on our weekend

>

> > Do you think is acting the way he is towards your

> > dad as a result of the TMG? I mean he has probably

> > heard you complain about your dad before. Plus you

> > said you heard them out back and your dad was telling

> > him " no , stop , dangerous " . I am wondering

> > if has pick up on what he has heard and the way

> > granddad has treated him and this is how he is

> > expressing his anger towards him. Yes, no, maybe? Just

> > a thought.

>

>

> Ginger, I do think you might be right. It occured to me too, when there

was an incident last night...

>

> I was upstairs, and I could hear trying to get my father's attention

downstairs. I heard him address him at least twice. I flushed (!) and

started downstairs, and heard my mom tell my dad, " He's calling you. " My

dad snapped at her about not hearing him, and my mom said, " He's called you

three times. " As I stepped through the stairwell door, my dad started

*screaming* at my mom. Have I mentioned he's a miserable bastard? This

happens often.

>

> So I did something I have NEVER done before. I stomped over, pointed my

finger in my dad's face, and snarled, " Stop it. " " But she was... " my dad

started spluttering. " I DON'T CARE, " I said using the voice I use when I'm

angry with , " Stop it right now. Don't scream in front of him about

something that involves him. " " I was just... " my father said, determined to

prove how wrong mom was and how right he was. " STOP. IT. *NOW*! " I

thought I was going to completely lose it if it went one sentence further.

>

> It didn't. Dad left the house shortly after that, coming back *hours*

later.

>

> I got to thinking then. This happens often. My dad doesn't hear him, or

if he DOES hear him, he ignores him. Quite often will ask him

something and father will just not answer him. He'll ask dad to play and if

dad doesn't want to, he won't say no, he'll just say nothing at all. Dad is

also more interested in what does wrong than in what does right.

He's forever correcting him but rarely (if ever) praising him.

>

> I hadn't considered the role of the TMG in it last night, but I think

you've hit on something. Maybe this time finally took it personally,

since the TMG seems to have opened up those areas somewhat for him.

>

> It would stand to reason. It would also explain why, when grabbed

something from dh tonight and dh took it back, launched into a 20

minute crying jag. He's suddenly realized what it feels like to be

rejected.

>

> Poor little mite.

>

> Jacquie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Grace, that is AMAZING!!!! What a fabulous feeling you must have, seeing her

CONNECT to you and to the situation -- and to REALITY. (ie: you don't have to

cry for 2 hours, darling)

I'm so glad she's so happy too. is MISERABLE. We've cut the dosage waaaay

back, hoping that will help. He is unbearably hyper.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

So I did something I have NEVER done before. I stomped

over, pointed my finger in my dad's face, and snarled,

" Stop it. "

" But she was... " my dad started spluttering.

" I DON'T CARE, " I said using the voice I use when I'm

angry with , " Stop it right now. Don't scream in

front of him about something that involves him. "

" I was just... " my father said, determined to prove

how wrong mom was and how right he was.

" STOP. IT. *NOW*! " I thought I was going to completely

lose it if it went one sentence further. It didn't.

Dad left the house shortly after that, coming back

*hours* later.<<<<<<<<<

Wow Jacquie! Standing up to your Dad! That's

impressive. has a great mommy.

Tuna

=====

" People who say they sleep like babies usually don't

have them. " Leo J. Burke

______________________________________________________________________

Web-hosting solutions for home and business! http://website.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

Grace, it sounds like Madison is doing really well. Those improvements are

definetely worth the trouble of giving the medicine. I hope you see even

more and maybe even some speech soon.

Tamara

>

>Reply-To: parenting_autism

>To: <parenting_autism >

>Subject: Re: update on our weekend

>Date: Sun, 20 Jan 2002 23:27:26 -0800

>

>Jacquie -

>It makes sense to me.

>In the two months that Madison has been on TMG - I am noticing two major

>things <and unfortunately, speech is not one of them>:

>1. She's happy. And appropriately, generally, and " as it should be " kind

>of

>happy. Not the " giggle at the wall and freak me out " kind of happy

>anymore,

>but in generally good spirits all day long.

>2. She SEES me and all my actions for what they are, which she didn't 2

>months ago.

>

>For instance - - before TMG, when she starts bugging me for whatever it is

>she wants, and will not listen to " No, not right now... " or " No, stop it! " ,

>then eventually, I physically push her away from me and walk away because i

>know she is on the verge of a tantrum. If I walk away, she will follow me,

>but in the end, 50% of the time, she will forego the tantrum, and the other

>half of the times, she will start makin' love to the floor.

>

>Anyhow, post-TMG, now - - - - naturally Madison still wants me to do things

>for her, and whines and tugs on me. Well, lately, if I push her away, she

>looks at me like she's hurt... like her feelings are hurt. Several times,

>she started sobbing BECAUSE I pushed her away, and it wasn't the crying

>that

>precedes a tantrum. She didn't say so, but the way she looked and sounded,

>I intepreted it as her being hurt that I pushed her away. <I nudge her

>away, really.... not shove, and I am positive it did not PHYSICALLY hurt!>

>Each time, I've consoled her, and you know what ??? She is consolable. I

>hold her, and she starts to calm down. Then she looks up at me with teary

>eyes, and will babble, or get back up to make me do something else, or

>continue on with the whinefest making me do what she wants. But my holding

>her calms her down, and she smiles again. Just some months ago, I was

>complaining to this list that my children are not consolable when they are

>upset, and that my presence, my holding them, my kissing their booboos away

>does not help them. For Madison, it works now. It's really a WOW thing to

>me.

>My ignoring her and leaving the room seems to hurt her whereas before, it

>just really PISSED her off.

>

>I don't know if it makes sense, but it is something I have definitely

>noticed.

>Oh, that and the fact that she is totally in love with me. The girl adores

>me. ) Her eyes just ooze love, you know? It's really wonderful. Even

>Shaun commented, " Gosh, that child really loves you. " ) For some

>things,

>you just don't need words. When I am in bed, she comes and lies down with

>me. If I'm sitting on the couch, she climbs on my lap and sits with me.

>It's been blissful.

>

>And sorry to hear your dad can be such a .... excuse my language, jackass

>to . Being a less than perfect dad to you is one thing. Being a less

>than loving grandparent - - - - inexcusable. He should have learned the

>error of his ways by now. Bah humbug.

>Mommy's dad it is, indeed.

>

>Grace

> Re: update on our weekend

>

>

> >

> > > Do you think is acting the way he is towards your

> > > dad as a result of the TMG? I mean he has probably

> > > heard you complain about your dad before. Plus you

> > > said you heard them out back and your dad was telling

> > > him " no , stop , dangerous " . I am wondering

> > > if has pick up on what he has heard and the way

> > > granddad has treated him and this is how he is

> > > expressing his anger towards him. Yes, no, maybe? Just

> > > a thought.

> >

> >

> > Ginger, I do think you might be right. It occured to me too, when

>there

>was an incident last night...

> >

> > I was upstairs, and I could hear trying to get my father's

>attention

>downstairs. I heard him address him at least twice. I flushed (!) and

>started downstairs, and heard my mom tell my dad, " He's calling you. " My

>dad snapped at her about not hearing him, and my mom said, " He's called you

>three times. " As I stepped through the stairwell door, my dad started

>*screaming* at my mom. Have I mentioned he's a miserable bastard? This

>happens often.

> >

> > So I did something I have NEVER done before. I stomped over, pointed my

>finger in my dad's face, and snarled, " Stop it. " " But she was... " my dad

>started spluttering. " I DON'T CARE, " I said using the voice I use when I'm

>angry with , " Stop it right now. Don't scream in front of him about

>something that involves him. " " I was just... " my father said, determined

>to

>prove how wrong mom was and how right he was. " STOP. IT. *NOW*! " I

>thought I was going to completely lose it if it went one sentence further.

> >

> > It didn't. Dad left the house shortly after that, coming back *hours*

>later.

> >

> > I got to thinking then. This happens often. My dad doesn't hear him,

>or

>if he DOES hear him, he ignores him. Quite often will ask him

>something and father will just not answer him. He'll ask dad to play and

>if

>dad doesn't want to, he won't say no, he'll just say nothing at all. Dad

>is

>also more interested in what does wrong than in what does right.

>He's forever correcting him but rarely (if ever) praising him.

> >

> > I hadn't considered the role of the TMG in it last night, but I think

>you've hit on something. Maybe this time finally took it personally,

>since the TMG seems to have opened up those areas somewhat for him.

> >

> > It would stand to reason. It would also explain why, when grabbed

>something from dh tonight and dh took it back, launched into a 20

>minute crying jag. He's suddenly realized what it feels like to be

>rejected.

> >

> > Poor little mite.

> >

> > Jacquie

> >

> >

> >